The Library [EverlyxAndy]

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"Uh.."

Her first thought was to stutter unintelligibly like some sort of idiot. All she did for several seconds was stare at him in surprise. For the first time, she found herself wondering if perhaps Jason knew more than he let on. What if he was not a Human as she had assumed? Could he read her mind? Was that why he suggested it? Maybe he just wanted to kiss her. He seemed just as nervous as she was. If she said no, her Kitsune friend would slap her. Repeatedly. Best not to risk it.

"Okay."
 
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Jason swallowed hard and nodded a bit. Finally he was getting his chance to kiss the woman he loved. He was nervous but excited at the same time. Slowly he started to lean in closer to her until their lips were centimeters apart. He paused for just one more second before he softly pressed his lips against hers
 
Eirian was very sorely tempted to pull away at the last second when Jason moved closer to her. This entire situation was making her nervous and uncomfortable, simply because she didn't know what to expect or how to react. She forced herself to remain still, watching him silently as he moved ever closer. Soon she could feel the faint touch of his breath mingling with hers. She had a moment of panic, but then his lips were on hers before she could really react to the spike of fear. His lips were unexpectedly soft, as well as warm. She hesitated, then gave him a gentle kiss before pulling away. Her heart felt like it was going to explode from the anxious strain.
 
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It took all of jason's willpower not to pull her closer and kiss her more. When she pulled back as quickly as the kiss began a part of him felt like he had made a mistake while another part of him figured she was just nervous about the whole situation "Eirian..is everything ok?."
 
"It's.. It's fine. I am sorry. I'm just.. This is not something that I know," Eirian admitted quietly, looking away from him with a shameful frown. For somebody in her position to not know something was wretched. It was her job to know everything. That was why she was the Guardian. All books had been read. Why couldn't she manage something so simple? She had read about kissing. It had felt wonderful, and she knew that she should try again, she just was too nervous to even honestly consider it.
 
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He rubbed the back if his head before he gently reached over and softly turned her head so he could look into her eyes again "..i know this is different for you Eirian..and I know it's hard to understand but..I'm here to help you as much as I can. What..is going on between us its not something you can read about and understand..it's something you have to feel..its the way your heart tells you to act..not your head..do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
 
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Eirian turned her head as he guided her chin, her eyes soon locking on to his once more as he tried to explain that the situation was not one that she could read about. The very thought nearly made her have a stroke. What sort of situation existed that could not be understood through a book? None! Her very nature rebelled against the idea! And yet.. She almost understood. There were no words for what she had felt when he kissed her. None that were adequate, anyway. There were a few that she could use, but they paled in comparison to how she had truly felt. She did not have a way to explain how uneasy she was now, or how she desperately wanted to be able to function the way that Jason did. Her mother had tried to explain to her how feelings were different than logic and reason, but Eirian had always struggled to accept it. Intellect was simple. Understanding mental natures and reactions and emotion just.. wasn't. It was complicated and exhausting and confusing.

"I understand what you're trying to say," she said softly, her expression sad. "But I can not do that. I don't know how to just feel things the way that you can. I try and it is.. too difficult. I don't think I was made to function in that manner. Books are all that I have. My heart is not as alive as yours.."
 
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Jason fell silent before he shook his head "you can do it Eirian..everyone shows their love and expresses their emotions in different ways. I know all of this is new to you..but I have a feeling that you feel the same way about me that I feel about you..your just thinking about it too much. Listen to the feelings that your heart are telling you don't think about it just follow your heart.."
 
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"I'll try.."

And try she did. Eirian tried very hard to concentrate on what her heart was telling her. It was incredibly difficult. At first, all she felt was an overwhelming despair. She was anxious and depressed, convinced that she could not do this one simple task. Once she pushed past that, she felt her logical side scolding her for ignoring facts and reason. That sensibility made her want to cower down, but she didn't. Instead, she simply reached out and cupped his cheeks, pressing her lips back against his.

Oh.

Well, that worked too.
 
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Jason nodded a bit as she said she would try. A part of him was worried for her. He was worried he was pushing her too hard and she was going to freak out on him.

But he didn't have to worry long because the next thing he knew she grabbed his face and kissed him again. He blushed deeply as he felt her soft lips against his own again but he didn't stay in shock for long. He slowly closed his eyes and gently set his hands on her hips as he kissed her back
 
Eirian forced herself to relax, kissing Jason for a solid minute this time before pulling away with deep red cheeks.

"Oh.. um.. Sorry?"
 
Jason swallowed hard and shook his head as he stared into her eyes. He hadn't been expecting that from her but he had loved it all the same.

"No..don't be sorry I liked it and..that's what I want you to do. You did what you were feeling not what you were thinking and thats..how I want you to act.
 
"I know, but.. I don't think I can act like that all the time for you. Is that okay?"
 
He nods a bit and reaches up to gently stroke her cheek "listen..i want you to be yourself ok? I don't want you to change for me but I also want you to know you don't have to be afraid to kiss me or show me affection in any way. I love you Eirian..i love who you are and I never want to see you change in any way."
 
Eirian smiled and nodded, reassured. He didn't want her to change. That made her feel truly loved. She reached out and gently hugged him close, relaxing. So this was what love felt like. It was a feeling she could definitely get used to.

"Thank you," she murmured, looking up at him. "I wish you did not have to leave. I wish you could simply stay here forever."
 
He smiled a bit as she gently wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. He did the same and held her as close as he could. When she mentioned him having to leave a part of him winced. He didn't want to leave either. There was nothing outside the library for him. His family had moved away and had practically cut off all contact with him. He had no job and had no commitments to anyone. So why couldn't he stay? There was nothing to keep him from doing so. "Eirian..is it possible for me to stay here?..I mean..there is nothing for me anymore outside the library and you..I have no commitments back home..why can't I just stay here with you?."
 
"Stay?"

Eirian frowned a bit, slowly releasing him from her hold and taking a step back to look up at him properly. Apart from the fact that there was no way for him to do what he wanted, she was concerned that he would even suggest such a thing. He claimed there was nothing for him in his own world, but that was untrue. There was his family, and he had friends without a doubt. She did not want him to abandon them, despite what he said. They would figure it out eventually and be upset that he was missing. Judging by his reactions to everything she had seen, she doubted they would believe he went off to a mystical Library, even if he left a note behind.

"Jason.. No. I am sorry, but there is no way for you to stay here. Few can last a full night in the Library. I am unsure how it is done, but the Library seems to take opportunity of sleeping patrons to cleanse itself and reset for the next day. There have been a few who figured out how to stay, but they never told me how it was done. I, of course, never had to learn. Guardians simply can," she explained, then she shook her head with a smile.

"You should not stay here anyway. Even if you do not feel the same, your family needs you. You may be destined for big things in your world. You can not abandon it now."
 
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Jason shook his head and sat up to look at her "Eirian..I hear what your saying I really do but..I can't help the way I feel. I might be destined for a future out there but..my heart is telling me that my place is here with you. I know all of this is sudden and crazy but..I can't help the way I feel. I love you Eirian and I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you. I'm scared that one day I'll come to see you and the door will be gone forever. That it will never come back and I'll never see you again."
 
Eirian shook her head and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry, Jason. That's just a risk you're going to have to take."
 
Jason just fell silent and looked down. He didn't know what else to say or do to convince her. Even if he did convince her though he had a feeling that in the end she was telling the truth that she didn't know how he could stay in the library with her and not get kicked out after falling asleep. He had nothing to say now. No argument to give. Maybe his love for her was hopeless. He ran the risk that not only could he come back and find a different time period before he had ever met her or one where she was super old but he also ran the risk that the door would never appear again.
 
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