The Incredible Vending Machine

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Gets decapitated body.

Inserts laggy iPad
 
Gets a customized Space Shuttle.

Inserts strawberry tops.
 
Gets "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe!" Or maybe "Thundar, the Barbarian." Can't decide which...

Inserts indecision.
 
Gets bread lines and poor health care.

Inserts wisdom.
 
Gets a headache.

Inserts a 1958 Volkswagen Karman Ghia.
 
Gets: Sandwich - the bread is metal, the filling is leather with some oil, fuel and broken glass on it.

Puts: Horse poop.
 
Gets a pony... but has to dig for it.

Inserts stallion.
 
Gets big ass horse.

Inserts chocolate.
 
Gets bow tie.

Inserts Doctor Who.
 
Gets identity stolen.

Inserts Superman.
 
Gets attacked by Cookie Monster.

Inserts Big Bird.
 
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