THE DESPERADO FIVE

Two days had passed since they had caught the petty thieves at the convince store. It had been two days since Teegan decided that the bathroom was her own domain. It had been been two days since Sinbad had been duct taped to the board head of Teegan's new bed. It had been two days since Shane had died and yet no one really seemed to bring it up or really care.

They were heading towards one of the many casinos in this district of outer space. They had a special mission now to track down some girl that had stolen a computer chip. Andres didn't bother looking up whom the person was, that was Oz's new job since Shane was no longer around.

However, there was a more pressing matter on hand for the Major. Teegan had been in the bathroom for nearly two hours and he really had to take a wicked piss. If she didn't hurry up, he was going to personally barge into HIS bathroom and let nature take its course. And if she watched...Well, that'd be her own damn fault.

He then heard her singing.

"Oh, screw this shit." Andres said.

He then opened the door to the bathroom. Andres half expected Teegan to be trying to grow some weird alien plant species in the bathtub. Instead he found himself sneaking into a room with someone actually showering.

"FFFFFFF." Andres then grunted.
 
[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

"WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO CAUSE I DUN PLAN ON GOIN' SOLO! WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO TAKE ME DAN-" Teegan stopped in the middle of the best part of her song to listen. There was a weird FFFFFFFFF sound, which meant Sinbad might have been running out loose again. The captain and her friend weren't getting along so well.

When she peeked out, it wasn't her ferretsnake but the captain himself. Taking a piss.

"Oh hi! Sorry it's taking so long. That slugorump I picked up yesterday gets sticky stuff everywhere and it's SO hard to clean off. Oh well, I'm done anyway!" Not even giving him a second look, Teegan hopped out of the shower after grabbing her rob to wrap up in and padded towards the door.

"Oh yeah, your guy said something about hot bounty something or another. If you're going on a job today, can I come too? I need some... uh... supplies. Nothing too big, but well. A girl needs STUFF."
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"First off I don't even what to know what the fuck a slugorump is. And no don't show me it while I'm taking a wiz." Andres said while paging through a copy of Spaceboy he had stolen from Oz's stash.

"Damn that nerd. He's fucking filled out of the crossword puzzles."

He then glanced back at Teegan who was looking all bright eyed and cheery about getting supplies.

"Whatever, if you want to get your ass kicked fine by me. Hell, maybe you can use your VenusRedMoonSpaceRabbit on our bounty." He said while he zipped up his pants. Andres then walked passed the young woman, whom was probably going to tell him that there was no such thing as a VenusRedMoonSpaceRabbit.

A few moments later Andres sat down at the computer mainframe finally reading the message Oz had received.

"PRIVATE BOUNTY, Blah blah. 5000 spacebucks. Find some chip...Yadda Yadda... Carried by this woman....Huh?"

Andres then look a closer look at the young woman's profile and a cold sweat started to flow down his face.

"Shit.......................THAT'S MY FUCKING EX...."
 
[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

VenusRedMoonSpaceRabbit. Puh-lease. Teegan was still rolling her eyes even once she had dressed in some nice fresh clothes, found herself a satchel for storing "specimens" and and prepared for a nice planet-side voyage.

"Honestly, there ARE venus bunnies, but you know, they aren't accurately named, cause they aren't even from Venus." Teegan seemed to be continuing the conversation from earlier as she stalked in to the room. She was wearing a shirt in the most terrible bright yellow possible, covered just slightly with a black vest dotted with white polka dots. Her pants were normal enough in a simple black spandex, but her boots were that same shade of bright yellow. At least anyone could see her coming from a mile away.

"You're sweating bullets, did you get a nip from Sinbad again?" Teegan leaned over Andres' shoulder to take a peek at the screen. "Oooh, she's got that hot and sexy look going on! Is she the bounty? I bet she could kill someone with just her thighs!" For some reason the thought of crushing someone's head with legs amused Teegan.
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"Back off, you Bumblebeementalist." Andres said as Teegan looked over his shoulder. "Yes. She's our next target. The problem here is that I've encounter this woman before. She has a tendency to piss off top ranking executives. We can rest assured that she'll find a way to dodge all their traps with ease. This'll take high level thinking...OZ WE NEED A BATTLE PLAN!"

"Major. I suggest that we find a new member to the team first. Since we lost Shane..."

"Don't give me this four is a bad number mumbo jumbo. I'm sure it's just because the gunner position is cursed because all the gringos we hire are all idiots. Next time I'm choosing our next partner in crime."

"Major, may I remind you that you always select the team members. I think for once we should vote by committee..."

"Sorry Oz. I'm a Space Indian. Committees are just excuses by gringos to take my rights away. Need I remind you that I lived on the Moon Rez. That place is worse than the ghetto."

And once again, this was how the Desperadoes spent their mornings...
 
[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

While the captain argued with Oz, Teegan was reading the file information on one Madam Morrigan de Sarde. That was on hell of a lady! What did they call those, man eaters? Teegan supposed the Captain probably got a few bites he didn't want!

"I'll talk to her! Being a woman and all, I know how women work. Er, well. I know how -I- work and if I could of guys coming storming in shooting guns at me, I'm sure to shoot back. I'll invite her to a dinner and we could ambush her."

The stares she was getting back wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.

"Bad idea?"
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"Actually for once BubbleBeeLady has a good idea. Just make sure you don't bring that furry bastard you call a pet." Andres said.

He then began to punch in some coordinates. Soon the screens of the Desperado all flipped to a large map of the Moon, showing all the various colonies that were scattered throughout the rock.

"Morrigan grew up on the wrong side of the tracks on the Moon. Since I've met her more than once, we'll find her in the fancy smancy side regions. She has a tendency to flirt with the old geezers to get all sorts of expensive crap. I'm going to suggest we hit up Nova Chinatown. There's quite a lot of colorful douches in that region. She'd blend in the crowd there rather well."
 
In a wide alley, four men surrounded a single female. They'd spotted her coming through from the other side, dressed casually in a mini-skirt, thigh-high boots, a low-cut sleeve-less shirt. She obviously didn't know what she was getting herself into. They started closing in very slowly until she almost reached the other end. That was when they cut off escape by closing into a circle with only a few feet between them.

"Give us your money and you won't get hurt," the leader said. He was skinny and blond, the others' hair were darker, and they were all armed with some type of weapon or other. A bat, chains, a hockey stick, oh my.

Morry tried to keep a straight face, she really did. "I know this part. You tell me to hand over my money, I give it to you, and then you rape poor little old me and leave me bleeding and crying for help in the alley ... Mm. Not going to happen."

"Heh. Not like you got a choice, lady. Your money. Now." The leader took a step forward, pulled his hand out and flicked out a switch-blade knife.

Morry appeared to think it over and glance to the side. "Papa always said, a lady has a ton of choices but only one if she wants to act like a lady."

The men snickered as they drew a bit closer. They didn't pay attention to Morry's hand drifting down to her belt, to the side and a bit behind her. Her fingers wrapped around the handle. "And right now ... I don't feel like being a lady." She pulled the belt free with a single jerk as her wrist flicked. She captured the knife and jerked it out of his grasp and was already running forward.

Five minutes later ...

"Nice meeting you, boys ..."Morry walked out of the alley, belt around her waist and quite a handful of money from the men lying on the ground twitching. "And they say chivalry is dead," she remarked to herself as she joined the busy crowds of Nova Chinatown.
 
[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

And so a short time later, there she was. Astra Teegan. Spy. Detective. Bounty Hunter. She was really in to her character! Though, her bright clothing still stuck out like a sore thumb, and Captain Andres kept calling her stupid things like Bumblebee, Teegan rather thought it worked to her advantage. Everyone is suspicious of sneaky looking people wearing black and darting around like someone is following them. Teegan was strolling down the streets of Nova Chinatown like a backwater tourist. She even stopped at a few places to pick up some treats for Sinbad.

"Hey. Stop playing around. You're supposed to be looking for Morrigan."

Teegan rolled her eyes at the voice buzzing through the little comlink she hid in one of the bright neon blue earrings she was wearing. Oz was a lot nicer to talk to than Major Captain Andres, but he didn't understand the art of creating a cover either. She read enough spy novels to know you can't just jump right on in to hunting someone.

Oh well! It was time to get serious anyway. Teegan had a local map in her hand as she glanced around at all the faces on the street. What she needed was a tallish woman, super sexy looking with long black hair a dark blue eyes. It was kinda like hunting for a critter in the forest! So many people were bustling around, Teegan almost missed the lady that walked out of an alley counting cash in her hands. Oooh, that was a cute skirt. Oh wait, that was her!

Teegan made a quick skip and a dash down the street until she finally caught up with the woman. On her face was a big wide smile and without any fear or worry for consequences, she was happy to introduce herself.

"HI. I'm Teegan. Nice skirt! Um, you seem to know your way around dark alleys. I was wondering if you could give me a hand with finding some... special items!" With criminals, it was always good to appeal to their need to do crime. All Teegan had to do was get Madam Morgan to a nice discreet spot, then call in Major Captain to capture her! Piece of cake!
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Morry was pocketing the cash when someone approached. She could tell this chick was a tourist right off the bat. Of course, the color of her clothing certainly helped. She ran her fingers through her hair. "Listen, sweetie. I'd love to stay and chat and point you in the right direction but I have somewhere to go." (And people to steal from, of course!) She started walking away but the woman quickly skipped ahead and blocked her way again.

"Oh, please! I'd pay you really well! And um ... It's for this little guy!"

Teegan glanced from side to side and then tucked the map under her arm. Morrigan was prepared for anything, from her pulling out spray to her pulling out a pic of some illegal sex toy. It was quite a surprise when she found what looked like a small gray chinchilla with a pair of black bat wings, a long pink tail like a rat, and two long ears like a rabbit curled up at the bottom of the purse. In fact, there wasn't anything else in the bag except the creature on some type of soft looking material.

Morry lifted her head as Teegan closed the purse enough that the light wouldn't disturb the creature inside. "Is that a ... New Arian Forest mouse?"

Teegan's eyes grew wide. "You know what a New Arian Forest mouse is?! How splendid!"

... Splendid. Right. "I knew someone who was really into New Arian Forest creatures." And come to think of it, this girl kind of resembled that 'someone'. "I doubt you'll find what you're looking for around here." She remembered those animals were picky eaters once you got them out of the wild. Her memory was odd that way.

"Well ... can you just come looking for me, please, anyways? I won't be able to rest until I know for myself!"

Morry slipped something out of her pocket. It was an old silver pocketwatch with an the profile of an old Earth creature on the front and its back profile on the back. She opened the cover, checked the time, and slipped it back. "I have to go somewhere. You're better off finding someone else." She tried again to pass by Teegan to go on her way.

Wow, Morrigan was good! Teegan thought. But she refused to give up! She'd drag Morrigan kicking and screaming if she had to.

Fortunately, it turned out she didn't have to! She spotted the police officer going on a random patrol with his partner just a few yards away! "Oh, do you think the police officers will know where to find some mouse food!"

Morry just happened to notice the police officers at the same time. Whether these were clean cops or the kind she could buy off to forget they saw her, she could do without the extra attention. She stopped and turned, a wicked smile on her face. "I guess, being the nice girl I am, I could help you out. For a fee, of course."

The officers were coming their way. She ducked into an alley and Teegan followed suit. This was her chance! Teegan pressed the comm link. "So ... here we are, in an alley ... My name's Teegan. What's yours?"

Morry looked around and began walking down the alley. "Morrigan. But you can call me, Morry."

"Hi, Morry! It's nice to meet you." And if Oz was smart, he'd realize what was going on and send the Major right away! She turned and found Morrigan halfway out of the alley. "Wait! Um, I uh--I dropped my earring!" She needed to stall her long enough for the Major Captain to get here! As Morry turned, she quickly pulled off an earring (not realizing it was the one with the comm-link) and threw it off to the side somewhere. She clutched her ear! "And it's my favorite one, too!"

Morrigan gave her an odd look. This woman had got to be kidding! But as Teegan began inching over to the trash, she decided this would be a good time to leave her alone ...

Until she looked up and saw the woman standing in her way. A woman dressed in a Victorian maid outfit. "Friend of yours?" she asked Teegan. Something metal flashed in the light from the street and suddenly Morrigan found herself against the wall, feet dangling in the air and the woman with her hand around her neck!

"Give. Me. The Chip," the maid said, voice metallic.

Morrigan gasped for air but this chick was definitely not human! Teegan's eyes grew wide. "Come on, Major! Oz! What's keeping you!" She was pressing the comm-link like mad--only to realize she was pressing the wrong earring! "Damn!"

The sound of a gun going off, metal breaking turned her attention away from looking for the comm link. Morrigan was suddenly running past her and pulling her by the arm.

"Let's go!"

It was time to run for their lives!
 
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[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!

Teegan was fleeing with Morrigan, and at a loss at what to do! She was supposed to help capture the woman to help make up for Sinbad eating one of the Major Captain's crewmates, but now they were being chased by a crazy robomaid! ..in a really cute dress, wow! She wanted one of-- ack! Morrigan shoved her at a fence, and Teegan had to make a quick jump to climb up to the top of it and jump off on the other side. Morrigan was right behind her.

"Whew! Thank goodness I remember to exercise, otherwise -- EEP!" No moment to chat! That metallic maid had smashed right through the fence and was taking SHOTS at them! Teegan and Morrigan took off running again! Turning a sharp corner around a building and jumping over an old hobo on the ground.

Morrigan had pulled out something and looked like she was going to shoot Teegan! Teegan ducked the shot, which was actually aimed at the maid, but unfortunately didn't do much else besides go PLINK off the thing! Both ladies had to keep running until the slid out in to a busy street. The maid followed but there was a loud CRASH! Teegan had enough time to peek over her shoulder to see some spacetruck smash in to the maid before Morrigan yanked her in somewhere dark!

"Wow!" Teegan breathed, still trying to catch her breath. "We are in Major trouble. I really did like that earring. Major is going to be livid."
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"Yeah, well there are bigger things to worry about," Morrigan muttered. She didn't say anything else until after she had caught her breath. "Besides, this Major of yours is a man, right? Just wear something skimpy, massage his shoulders, and he'll be putty in your hands."

When she thought it was safe, she poked her head out and looked around. Everything was quiet, looked normal. The maid didn't have any friends or they would have shown up by now. "The one person who's really going to be pissed is the one who sent that maid. Well, see ya later, T."

Morry straightened out her clothes and walked out of the little niche they'd been hiding in. Then she started walking out to the street. It looked like she was going to have to make a few calls and rake in some cash without getting her head on a silver platter.
 
[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

Teegan was waving goodbye before she realized, wait, she needed to help capture this women!

"Uh, wait, wait, wait!" Catching up quick, Teegan latched herself on to Morrigan's arm. She made a good display of glancing around nervously and giving off that 'scared girl' look. This sort of thing was important when you wanted to stop animals from jumping on you.

"It's not safe to go out like this! What if robomaid tries to kill us again? We should definitely make arrangements somewhere for transport. Definitely. Plus, you're going to help me with my little furry friend, right? ...I think I'm going to name him Norman."
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Morry started trying to shake her off but after a moment, she stopped and raised an eyebrow. This chick was pretty strong. She really did work out. She huffed and tried one last time, unsuccessfully, to disengage the other woman from her.

Morrigan gave her a sideways glance, suddenly suspicious. "No calling the police, no wanting to know why that metal chick was after me?" Those were the first questions she'd been expecting out of Teegan's mouth.
 
[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

"Calling the police always leads to really awkward questions." Teegan answered honestly. She wasn't a criminal, and didn't agree with stealing, murder, or other not-good things. But other people had a habit of misunderstanding her work. Calling animals illegal. Not understanding the food needs of a rare species. Assault charges. Teegan could do without the police.

"I guess I AM pretty curious about that freaky maid chick. But like my mother always said 'Don't go asking for more trouble when you already got your plate full.' I have a complete task list today and getting shot at isn't one of them!"

Though, if that maid showed up to killed Morrigan again, Teegan wouldn't be able to capture her for the Major.

"Uh, actually I DO have a ship. The Major said I was supposed to wait until they came to pick me up, but I think under the circumstances we better just get back to his ship before anything else happens."
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Morrigan was silent as she pondered her options and they weren't much. On one hand, she didn't like getting other people involved. Well, men she had no trouble with. They were born to be screwed with, figuratively, literally. History was full of examples, like Samson and Hercules. Suckers. Women were harder to work with. Morry had tried dealing with women as partners on several different occasions and they had been proven to be more of a headache than help.

The woman snorted. "Fine. Let's go back to this ship of yours and we'll see just how cooperative this major of yours really is." And if she couldn't persuade him to be cooperative, she'd relieve him of his ship.
 
[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

"Yes Ma'am!"

Though it took Teegan a very circles around town, she did managed to find the shipyard with the good old Major had his ship parked. Ideally, this wasn't the way they were supposed to capture Morrigan. Teegan figured they'ed have some guns and stuff and things would end quick. After talking to Morrigan for a bit, dealing with the robomaid... Teegan was severely doubting the ingeniousness of the Major's plans.

HER plans still involved her newest pet, Norman. Captured or not, Morrigan was her new animal-helping buddy.

When they arrived to the ship all was silent. Teegan didn't think it looked like a struggle anywhere. No blood and no signs of Sinbad eating the crew again. She led Morrigan on board and looked pretty confused.

"Well, I don't get it. They're supposed to be here on the ship. They SAID they were going to come and bail me out of trouble if I got shot at. ...huh maybe they're out searching now!"
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Feeling a bit doubtful and mildly curious about this "Major" Teegan kept talking about, Morrigan followed her ... and followed her. She was just about ready to turn around and walk away when Teegan finally found the ship. She stopped inside the ship and looked around but something the other woman said made her tilt her head and fold her arms.

"... Bail you out if you get shot at? So this isn't the first time you've gone wandering around a strange place, looking for strange things, getting caught with strange people?" she asked, just a tiny bit suspicious!
 
[bg=#2a1f0f]
Astra Teegan

"Strange people are all over the place, so it's not all that hard to run in to them." That was Teegan's way of saying 'yep'.

Teegan tapped her fingers on her hips for a moment, a slight frown on her face. She went through all of that trouble in capturing the bounty the Major needed just so he wouldn't throw her and Sinbad off the ship and now he wasn't here.

Muttering something about 'doing stuff for nothing', Teegan took a moment to open up her big bag and pull out the furry chinchilla-like critter. The second she dropped her new friend Norman on the ground, that long furry ferretsnake came leaping from around a corner! Both of the fuzzy creatures were currently wrestling and rolling all over the floor.

"Hey now! You two both behave! Man, I am seriously going to need to set up some cages in here. I wonder if Major Captain will mind me borrowing his ship."
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Morrigan tilted her head at the ferretsnake and the mouse going at it and was mindful enough to lift one foot, only to put that foot down and raise the other when the fight came a little too close to her. She knew better than to try scurrying around the ship to avoid them. Chances were, she'd only end up tripping over them again and again.

Teegan's words made her pause. "I'm sure he won't mind if we borrow it for awhile. I have a few errands of my own to run and I could use a ship. Sure ... there's the likelihood the ship may be in need of a few minor repairs at the end but I'll get us enough money to cover those and compensate ourselves for jobs well done."

Of course, this ship was no alpha space cruiser but none of her "acquaintances" knew about it, so she would have the element of surprise. Enough of a surprise to land herself--and her potential new accomplice in crime--some serious jackpots.