Falconwinnnnngggg, choose your words well! He's kinda anal retentive about his sacrifices.
SIRE, WE HAVE SACRIFICES OF THE CANINE, FELINE, PORCINE, MURINE, EQUINE, AND HUMAN KIND OFFERED FOR THE DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF YOUR FAVOR.
The canine for anal-retentiveness since dogs smell asses to greet each other.
The feline for your lackadaisical nature since cats are lazy like you.
The porcine for your gluttony since pigs eat all the shit in the world.
The murine for your cowardice since mice get scared easily from huge humans.
The equine for your distaste since horses make a snorting sound to express some distaste.
The human for your lack of understanding the human race.
WILL THIS SUFFICE?