That night, Lynden dreamt of wild passions and adventures. And when he awoke, he nearly jumped out of bed. He was so ready for his training to be finished. He nearly got a practice sword and started routines then, but a white piece of parchment by his door distracted him. He eyed it for a moment, before lifting it and reading it, half expecting it to be a letter from one of his friends that he forgot to put away.
But as he read it, his blood began to boil. He had to stop several times to calm himself before returning to it. When he was done, he ripped the pages in half, kicked his table over, and threw a painting from the wall across the room, shattering the frame. He screamed, threw wild punches, and kicked the walls.
He was angry, but not at his brother. His brother went through great lengths to make Lynden see that he sympathized with him. No, he was angry at everyone else. Her advisers, the nobility, the world, and even her, for getting so close to him just to have a wedge be driven between them. He cursed the few God's names he could think of, then sat by the window, staring out at the yard and the view that he could see. He sat there for hours, before he fixed his room, took out some parchment, then started writing. It took him the rest of the day to write the letter. He had to restart several times because of wording and spelling. Finally, as the evening came and the night drew darker, Lynden finished the letter, folded it, and put it in an envelope, then laid back in his bed, his head swimming, before he was finally allowed the respite that is known as sleep.
He awoke early and gather his things quickly. He had packed for his return trip a week before, so it didn't take long. He traveled the halls to the lobby, where he knew his mother would be waiting to see him off, as she does every year. This time, he wasn't smiling.
"This is the last time we'll do this, Mother." Lynden said softly, and kissed her cheek. "I have a request. Could you deliever this to Maxim when he returns here? I suspect he wont go on a campaign for a while, so he's sure to be back here. Just give him that, will you?"
He would wait for her answer before kissing her forehead. "Thank you Mother... I love you."
As the sun began to rise, Lynden was on his horse, bags strapped in, traveling down the worn dirt roads. He couldn't help be think of his letter.
Dear Brother,
Why do we adore loyalty to freedom? I think about the concept, and I cannot come up with a reasonable answer. Is loyalty doing what must be done for the greater good, or doing what makes yourself happy? Is it loyalty to sacrifice your being for others who will not even notice like a dog, or to live for yourself free from the whims of others? We are told as humans that we were once beasts, and that we were given favor by the Gods. Yet, we live together and squander that freedom that liberated us.
I understand loyalty to a degree. I know it because I have learned it for the past eleven years. Yet, I feel I am not loyal to my country, nor the idea of of the Queen, but to Glarriva herself. Does that not make me loyal?
She is hurting Brother. She is hurting because she is alone. She does not want to be wed, yet she carries on and shoulders the burdens of an entire country, meanwhile our neighbors look to her with hungry eyes for both her body and power. Am I loyal if I allow the hounds to feast?
I am lost, Brother. Is this to be my destiny? How do we not know if we are destined for so much more?
I ask you, because I look up to you, Brother. You have proven to be Father's heir, and proven with your devotion and conviction to be Lumina's shield. I know we have argued at length, and you felt you had to prove your swordsmanship superior, despite our age difference, but I now see past all of that. If anyone were to know the answers I seek, it would be you.
But know this Brother, if you so choose to marry Glarriva as Father insists, then I shall have no Big Brother to look up to no more. I will not smile while my Brother twists the knife in my back, and its to be expected that I protect you both from the same thing.
I await your answers, but do not write me. I will be spending my time focused solely on my trails. Loyalty or not, I have worked too hard to not see this through. Once I return and I am knighted, I will listen.
Lynd