Stupid Things You've Said

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Levusti

Call me Lev!
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NONE
#1
So it's official guise. I'm a confirmed idiot.

So my coworkers asked me what I look for in a guy. This is what I said:

"I like guys that breathe. "

I MEAN

DAMN THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOME HIGH FUCKING STANDARDS.

I still feel the inadequacy and stupidity.

What are some stupid things you've said?
 

York

Anxiously Awkward
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#2
Something along the lines of "I can't wear these swimming trunks! They have Spiderman on them!" x.x just alot quieter... I was in around middle-school when I said that.
 

The Butterfly

Formerly 'Argnosax'
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Mostly nothing.
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Romance. It sucks and you suck for liking it.
#3
Everything I've ever said.
 
F

feelingchimpy

Guest
#4
For my dignity's sake, I will share what a friend said instead xP

Her: I want to be a psychiatrist when I'm out of school. For murderers. I want to get inside their heads, you know?
Me: What would you do if one got violent or something?
Her: Oh, they cant kill me, I'd report them!

Also

Her: *traps a housefly between a window and a window screen* I hope it suffocates!
 

Dipper

Cookiemaster
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Shake a tin of dice and tell me what numbers they give you.
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I bounce between the two depending on the roleplay.
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Sci-Fi, Fantasy, an assortment of Fandoms.
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Anime, Furry, Drama, Modern Fantasy
#5
One time someone bumped into me at the theater and I said "You're welcome". I don't know if they heard, but I still felt pretty stupid.
 

Midian

Stars fear no distance
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Genre You DON'T Like
Really high fantasy, sappy romance, non-spicy adult, shoujo-inspired, slice-of-life, humor, interpersonal drama, high school,
#6
"You too" are the single deadliest words for an absent-minded person.
 

Windsong

Ebullient Ember
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Generic cliche pairings (demonxangel with anime appearances), anything with no substance. One-shots are OK if done right.
#7
"You too" are the single deadliest words for an absent-minded person.
Did that to the guy at Chik Fil A. He said "Enjoy!" To which was replied "You too!"

He asked: "Wait, what am I enjoying..?"

Pause.

"Every day you wake up."
 

Hellis

"How can you score when this alien's a predator?"
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Furry. Not my thing, sorry.
#8
"Look. I don't think it's the pants that are to small.."
 
V

Valentine Corangula

Guest
#9
I once helped a little girl. When she thanked me I mixed up my words:

"Your problem, no welcome."

I walked away pretending that she didn't notice.
 
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#10
You know your awkwardness is irredeemable when you accidentally say "Thanks, you too" when a waiter tells you to enjoy your food.
 
K

Kazpyan

Guest
#11
I feel like I will be judged by in order to help other feel a bit better and to hopefully get a chuckle out of this I shall share that I once asked
"Why is water wet?"
 
B

BitoftheUltraviolence

Guest
#12
At the doctors:
"Okay, how are you feeling today?"
"Thanks."


I was actually feeling anxious about being there and completely omitted the 'good' from my sentence.
 
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Childish Grumpino

LET'S DO METH AND CHOP UP OUR NEIGHBOURS  ヲ 詠よ意イめフ
SECURITY DEPARTMENT
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#13
"Yeah alright, one more pint."
 
H

Halo

Guest
#14
"I love you."
#edge

No but srsly one that's always stuck with me was saying "I love you" instead of "cheers" to a bus driver once when I got off the bus. Ugh. My blush as I walked away down the streer probably could have provided enough heat to power a small African nation for a year.
 

ClaireRae

Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 is neither kissy nor cutie
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Horror (Apart from zombie related horror)
#15
Went into a small movie theater with my friends, bought a ticket to the movie we went to see, left back outside to where my friends were without waiting for the guy to give me my ticket, went immediately back inside, and this little convo happened:

"Um, you forgot your-"

"Yep you too!"

I took the ticket and left immediately before he could say anything.


 

Brovo

Ferret Dad
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Male, Female, Primarily Prefer Male, Primarily Prefer Female
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Either or, depends on players/partner.
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Fantasy, Science Fiction, Post Apocalypse, Horror, Romance, Survival...
Genre You DON'T Like
... High School, "Slice of Life".
#16
Just on Iwaku?
None of you likely want to know what the dreams of a madman are. :ferret:
#edgyhurrdurrdurr.
Wait, some are white, and some are orange, and it seems completely arbitrary. DIANA. WHY DO YOU BREAK THINGS??
#illiteracy
On topic about the flag: I say leave it up to popular vote. Let the people who live in the state decide for themselves, by majority, if they wish to keep the flag, or change the flag. That's a responsibly democratic way of resolving the issue.
Yes me, let's resolve everything through direct democracy, and not through the representatives who were voted in explicitly for this purpose. This makes sense. Totally.
Finally, the discrimination against Vikings ends: They now have a suitable overglorified emoji rating system.
In my defense, I was drunk. This excuses both the shitty joke and the shitty grammar that accompanies it. Supposedly.

As for stupidest thing of all time? Anything I believed in politically five years ago probably qualifies as something I now realize was completely idiotic. I expect much of the same five years from now looking back on now.
 
L

LogicfromLogic

Guest
#17
I asked my best friend if they were alright in the hospital after getting hit by a car.
 

dragonesper

Kinda like a ghost
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#18
This is something my family just love bringing up:

So, early teens me was asked to bring a plastic bag filled with assorted kitchenware over to the apartment in the basement. There's no direct entry so I had to go outside and over to the actual entrance. It was dusk, I didn't pay attention and I tripped over a pile of rocks. After gathering myself enough to get up, go back inside and hand over a plastic back filled with now broken cutlery I returned to my room. Still, a thought lingered, so I went back and asked my mom this: "Can knives shatter?"


... Not my brightest moment right there.
 

King

I read it in the paper so it must be true.
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#19
Trying to compliment a cute boy one night, I began to call him sweet but then thought great was a better compliment... It came out "You're sweat!"

Needless to say I didn't get his number :I
 
B

BitoftheUltraviolence

Guest
#20
Trying to compliment a cute boy one night, I began to call him sweet but then thought great was a better compliment... It came out "You're sweat!"

Needless to say I didn't get his number :I
"M-my sweat or…or I am sweat?"
 
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