Stupid Things You've Said

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Levusti, Jul 17, 2015.

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  1. So it's official guise. I'm a confirmed idiot.

    So my coworkers asked me what I look for in a guy. This is what I said:

    "I like guys that breathe. "

    I MEAN

    DAMN THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOME HIGH FUCKING STANDARDS.

    I still feel the inadequacy and stupidity.

    What are some stupid things you've said?
     
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  2. Something along the lines of "I can't wear these swimming trunks! They have Spiderman on them!" x.x just alot quieter... I was in around middle-school when I said that.
     
  3. Everything I've ever said.
     
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  4. For my dignity's sake, I will share what a friend said instead xP

    Her: I want to be a psychiatrist when I'm out of school. For murderers. I want to get inside their heads, you know?
    Me: What would you do if one got violent or something?
    Her: Oh, they cant kill me, I'd report them!

    Also

    Her: *traps a housefly between a window and a window screen* I hope it suffocates!
     
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  5. One time someone bumped into me at the theater and I said "You're welcome". I don't know if they heard, but I still felt pretty stupid.
     
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  6. "You too" are the single deadliest words for an absent-minded person.
     
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  7. Did that to the guy at Chik Fil A. He said "Enjoy!" To which was replied "You too!"

    He asked: "Wait, what am I enjoying..?"

    Pause.

    "Every day you wake up."
     
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  8. "Look. I don't think it's the pants that are to small.."
     
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  9. I once helped a little girl. When she thanked me I mixed up my words:

    "Your problem, no welcome."

    I walked away pretending that she didn't notice.
     
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  10. You know your awkwardness is irredeemable when you accidentally say "Thanks, you too" when a waiter tells you to enjoy your food.
     
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  11. I feel like I will be judged by in order to help other feel a bit better and to hopefully get a chuckle out of this I shall share that I once asked
    "Why is water wet?"
     
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  12. At the doctors:
    "Okay, how are you feeling today?"
    "Thanks."


    I was actually feeling anxious about being there and completely omitted the 'good' from my sentence.
     
    #12 BitoftheUltraviolence, Jul 18, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 19, 2015
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  13. "Yeah alright, one more pint."
     
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    • Nice execution! Nice execution! x 1
  14. "I love you."
    #edge

    No but srsly one that's always stuck with me was saying "I love you" instead of "cheers" to a bus driver once when I got off the bus. Ugh. My blush as I walked away down the streer probably could have provided enough heat to power a small African nation for a year.
     
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  15. Went into a small movie theater with my friends, bought a ticket to the movie we went to see, left back outside to where my friends were without waiting for the guy to give me my ticket, went immediately back inside, and this little convo happened:

    "Um, you forgot your-"

    "Yep you too!"

    I took the ticket and left immediately before he could say anything.


    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Just on Iwaku?
    #edgyhurrdurrdurr.
    #illiteracy
    Yes me, let's resolve everything through direct democracy, and not through the representatives who were voted in explicitly for this purpose. This makes sense. Totally.
    In my defense, I was drunk. This excuses both the shitty joke and the shitty grammar that accompanies it. Supposedly.

    As for stupidest thing of all time? Anything I believed in politically five years ago probably qualifies as something I now realize was completely idiotic. I expect much of the same five years from now looking back on now.
     
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  17. I asked my best friend if they were alright in the hospital after getting hit by a car.
     
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  18. This is something my family just love bringing up:

    So, early teens me was asked to bring a plastic bag filled with assorted kitchenware over to the apartment in the basement. There's no direct entry so I had to go outside and over to the actual entrance. It was dusk, I didn't pay attention and I tripped over a pile of rocks. After gathering myself enough to get up, go back inside and hand over a plastic back filled with now broken cutlery I returned to my room. Still, a thought lingered, so I went back and asked my mom this: "Can knives shatter?"


    ... Not my brightest moment right there.
     
  19. Trying to compliment a cute boy one night, I began to call him sweet but then thought great was a better compliment... It came out "You're sweat!"

    Needless to say I didn't get his number :I
     
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  20. "M-my sweat or…or I am sweat?"
     
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