[Samuel x Roman]

  • So many newbies lately! Here is a very important PSA about one of our most vital content policies! Read it even if you are an ancient member!
r o m a n
​
"That's absolutely right, sweetie," Roman affirmed his husband's words. He was still running his hand over Harper's soft cap of dark brown hair. "You're safe in here with us, and nothing scary is going to touch you."

This was his and Samuel's child, their little boy, and Roman would die to protect him. That sounded intense, but it was true. All through his and London and Brooklyn's childhood, Stellan had always been intensely protective of his kids, until they got to about the age of twelve. Roman hadn't understood it then, but now, it made perfect sense to him. He and Samuel were responsible for this child, they were responsible for caring for him and feeding him and making sure that he was as happy and as safe as possible.

Roman wouldn't let anything bad happen to his little boy.

"And, Harper, sweetie, you know it's not real, and whatever was in your dream was just pretend, so it can't come into the real world, right?" Roman assured the small child. Harper looked up inquisitively, as if asking for this to be reassured to him. "We promise. Whatever was in your dream wasn't real."

Harper, still clinging to Samuel, looked over at him with wet eyes and the same expression, asking for this notion to be confirmed by someone else.
 
Samuel fund that a small smile made its way to his list as he listened to Roman tell their son about how bad dreams weren't real. He loved seeing Roman being a father, it was one of his favourite things in the whole world. Then Harper turned for further confirmation of this information and Samuel provided it without hesitation.

"Yeah, dreams are just something that happens in your head when you are sleeping. Sometimes, they are really amazing and fun, but sometimes they are scary, but the things you see in your dreams aren't real and they can never hurt you," Samuel agreed, nodding too so that Harper would know he was one hundred percent sure of this.

"Daddy and Papa get nightmares too sometimes, everyone does," Samuel explained further, actually, his own nightmares were part of the reason he knew it was important that Harper could sleep in his own bed. Now that Samuel was on his medication he rarely got so distressed he woke up because of them, but sometimes he did, and accidentally hurting Roman was one, still horrible, thing. But Harper? He'd never forgive himself, "So we know it's scary, but whenever you are scared you can sleep in our bed,"

He leaned down and kissed Harper's head again and then he moved his hand to wipe some f the wetness from his chubby little toddler cheeks, he was so adorable, but he was sad now and Samuel didn't like that, "Are you feeling a little better, sweetie?" he asked, "Do you think you'll be able to sleep if you get to sleep between us?"
 
r o m a n
​
With confirmation and reassurance from both his dads, Harper seemed to be calm and relaxed enough to go back to sleep. He nodded, and gave an adorable little toddler yawn. Roman smiled, both at his son being cute as hell and because Harper was feeling better.

Roman pulled the blankets back, procured one of the spare pillows they kept on the bed mostly for decoration and set it up for his son, so he could lay down comfortably. Harper laid on his back and once both he and his husband were also laying down, Roman fixed the covers so they were all warm and cosy, together, as a little family.

"Goodnight, Harper," Roman said, brushing some of the hair off his son's forehead, and then pressing a small kiss to the fair skin there. Harper beamed, and Roman melted inside. The little boy was so cute that Roman didn't know what to do with himself.

"Say goodnight to Papa."

Harper turned around, cupped Samuel's face with his tiny little toddler hands and pressed a small toddler kiss to his cheek. "Papa," he said in his adorable voice, his way of completing the task given to him. Roman couldn't wipe the smile from his face.
 
"Goodnight to you too Harper," Samuel murmured, a bright smile on his face after receiving the most adorable affection from his son, "I love you," he continued, "and you too Roman," then they all cuddled up together, in an embrace of comfort and love. They had all woken up the next day well rested and feeling safe in each other's arms, no one having gotten another nightmare. And the next couple of days were just as nice as that morning, all three of them very happy.

So, after a couple of those days had passed the Hemlock-Ortegas were all gathered by the kitchen table, papers and crayons strewn out over the kitchen table, Harper enthusiastically creating art pieces that looked like nothing, but that Samuel knew he'd be saving forever. Samuel had also claimed a piece of paper and was idly doodling some very terrible drawings. He was trying his best, drawing some animals that held a suspicious resemblance to their little family and that also looked horrible. He was mostly just there to hang out with his husband and son, the fact that he wasn't much better than his one-year-old son didn't matter.

There was a kettle put on the stove, done boiling but still warm as they were expecting company any minute now. Blake was coming over. Samuel always felt nervous during the instances when she got to see Harper, he hated to see her struggle and he wanted her to be okay, but it just wasn't that easy. The little boy was none the wiser though, Blake was just one of his daddies' friends in his eyes.

Samuel felt it was important Blake would be able to act somewhat naturally around Harper now though. Not that he would ever Blame her if she couldn't, but Samuel and Roman had, unbeknownst to anyone else been looking into getting another child. It just seemed right, they both had always wanted more than one kid, and they both agreed that growing up with at least one sibling was the best. They also didn't want there to be a huge age gap between one of the kids and the others like how things had been with Brooklyn, London and Roman.

So, they had been looking into it, and sent in applications, and everything that was needed and Samuel felt a lot more hopeful about being able to adopt now that they already had a child together and clearly were good parents. But whenever, or if, they would get Harper's brother or sister, it would be weird and probably not good for Harper if one of his parent's closest friends acted distant around him but okay with his sibling.

"Oooh that's really pretty, Harper, I love blue," Samuel said happily to Harper, "Look Roman, isn't it pretty?"
 
r o m a n
​
Today was a very important day, because Blake was coming over. She had never been able to be completely comfortable around Harper, which was understandable and Roman didn't blame her at all. But he still hoped and prayed that today went well.

If Roman and Samuel got another child — and he really hoped they did — he didn't want there to be any difference in the way anyone acted with Harper and his sibling. That would be unfair to the little boy and Roman wanted a fair and equal household where everyone felt equally as loved and valued. Of course, Blake's reasons for being uncomfortable with Harper were completely valid, but they had to try.

But right now, Roman was more focused on the little art session he was having with his son and husband.

"Ooooh, Harper, that looks gorgeous, I love it. See, Samuel, he's totally going to end up being into the arts like me," Roman taunted his husband. He then finished his own crayon masterpiece, which was of a beautiful blue and green eye, and held it up for his husband and son. "Just a little something I whipped up, what do you think?"
 
"What the frick?" Samuel said, he was so used to replacing his swearwords he did it even when Harper wasn't there, "we've been here for an equal amount of time and have the same lame crayons and you've made that?" Samuel said in disbelief, although he could believe it because his husband was an amazing artist.

"It's amazing," Samuel said sincerely because it was and he didn't want to miss an opportunity to point out how talented Roman was. Then he slid over his own crayon filled paper in between Roman and Harper, "this is what I did," he laughed because it was horrible in comparison to most things, even worse compared to Roman's art. But Samuel didn't care t wasn't like he was trying to outdo Roman who was an actual professional artist, "that's me," he pointed towards the dog he drew in green crayon, "that's daddy" he pointed towards the purple cat, "and that's you Harper!" He pointed to the rabbit and then bopped his son playfully on his little nose.

No one had time to react to Samuel's masterpiece though, because the door bell rang. Samuel's smile faltered a little, but not completely, he was still happy to see Blake he just worried about whether or not things would be okay, "that's probably her, I'll go get it,"

He stood and went to go open the door, it was indeed Blake, "hey, come in," he greeted her as normal, because technically there was nothing out of the ordinary about a friend visiting, "we put on some water for tea, it should still be warm and I think we have some chamomile if you want,"
 
r o m a n
​
Roman only had a little time to bask in the glory his art piece had brought him, because suddenly there was a knock on the door and then Samuel was coming back with Blake. "That would be great, thanks," Blake said to Samuel as she entered the kitchen. It was winter, so she was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a woollen knit grey sweater and a long black trench coat, in the pockets of which she had stowed her hands. As soon as she had healed from giving birth, she had went right back to her work and in the process had shed all the baby weight, so she was right back to the state of physical fitness she had been in before she had gotten pregnant. Roman could tell that had helped her heal emotionally, quite a lot.

Blake was standing beside the kitchen bench, behind Harper where he couldn't see her, and was watching him draw with an unreadable expression on her face. She had seen him a few times since his birth, but had never spent an extended period of time with him, so this was all new territory for her.

Roman decided to instigate things. "Hey, Harper," he said to the little boy. "Say hi to Auntie Blake."

All their close friends were known as aunties or uncles to their little son. Auntie Blake, Uncle Elliot, Auntie Elissa, and so on. Harper, who was kneeling on a few cushions so he could reach the table, turned around, fixed his gaze on Blake and waved to her with a big smile. "Ah-Blake," he said, using his shortened version of 'auntie' to address her, before turning around and going straight back to his drawing.

Blake was looking at him with a slightly shocked expression. It was probably a surprise to be addressed in such a casual, relaxed and innocent way by the child that had unintentionally caused her so much emotional anguish for over a year. Roman gave her a reassuring smile and a little thumbs up, before clearing some space on the table so Blake had somewhere to put her mug. Harper was sitting at the end of the table with Samuel and Roman on either side of him, so Blake could sit beside Roman and still be close to Harper, but not too close.
 
s a m u e l​

Harper was so unfathomably adorable, but he knew that really didn't matter too much. He was still a reminder of those nine months of carrying him, of what had happened to conceive him and the time of recovery after his birth.

It was a difficult situation and Samuel still didn't really know how to deal with it. But Harper was almost a year old, soon he'd be talking in complete sentences, he'd understand that people treated him differently and in time, when he was a lot older, he would maybe even put two and two together if Blake treated him too differently. And Samuel was fairly certain that Blake did not want that.

He sat and was quiet for a moment. Harper was still scribbling, not thinking any more of Blake than any other of their friends. Because that was who she would be to him, Auntie Blake, a close family friend. Samuel and Roman would forever be grateful to her for what she had done, but Harper wouldn't know.

"Harper, sweetie, do you want to show Auntie Blake what you're drawing?" Samuel suggested carefully. He wasn't sure if it maybe had been better to let Blake approach Harper first, but this way Samuel hoped he could take the pressure of her to approach him. And this way it was just Harper showing something, it wasn't really her interacting with him a lot. It was just a nice and simple first step.
 
r o m a n
​
Harper nodded, and held up his drawing of random coloured scribbles to show his Auntie Blake. He had a big smile on his face and watched Blake as she moved to the seat beside Roman, waiting for her to respond. Blake was studying the drawing as she went, careful to keep her face impassive, never letting out a clue of what she was feeling.

"That's ... that's really nice, Harper," she said, feigning joy as best as she could. Harper didn't seem to notice, and went straight back to drawing without a care in the world.

Blake was watching him carefully, and Roman couldn't tell what she was thinking. He trusted her to tell them if she wanted to leave, but she did not, so Roman was sure that she was okay for the moment. Hopefully, she would be okay enough to feel a little comfortable around Harper by the end of the day.

"Wh - what's in your drawing?" Blake asked. Roman was surprised, but let it happen, because it was good.

Harper raised one little pointer finger and pointed to a black splodge. "Daddy," he said, then moved onto a green smudge. "Papa." Finally, he pointed to a little blue scribble. "Hah-per."

Normally Roman would have swooned over his gorgeous child and his adorable drawing, but right now he was more focused on Blake, who had a troubled expression in her eye, but was smiling a little at the same time. That was good, very good.
 
s a m u e l​

"That's so nice Harper," Samuel said sweetly and moved a hand to gently ruffle his head of brown hair, Roman's focus had to be on Blake right now, and a lot of Samuel's attention was on her as well, but Harper wouldn't understand why he didn't get the copious amount of praise he normally would get for his drawing, "Let's put it up on the fridge later when you're done, okay?"

Samuel smiled as his son continued with his drawing for now, and then he turned back to the two adults, and things were a little quiet for a moment. Blake had just taken that first step, and even gone further than expected.

Samuel wondered if Harper looked a lot like him to her, if she saw mostly his features in the little boy. He wondered if she didn't and if she instead saw a lot of himself in him and if that also made things harder for her. He didn't ask because it wasn't his place to ask, and because toddlers absorbed more than people realised sometimes. Instead, he decided to ask about something casual and normal, like he would if Blake had visited without Harper there.

"How are things at work?" Samuel tried, it was quite clear he wasn't sure of what to say and his eyes flickered over to Roman for a moment, a clear sign that he needed confirmation that what he was doing was right, still, he continued, "any fun new middle-aged women want to learn boxing?"
 
r o m a n
​
"Yes, actually, now that you mention it," Blake said with a genuine chuckle. She loved talking about her work, so Roman was glad Samuel had brought it up. "This one lady, she's the sweetest soul ever, she's probably about forty and all her kids are moved out so she came in to find a new hobby, she's actually not that bad."

"You should teach me how to box as well," Roman said with a chuckle, and jokingly pretending to throw a punch in Blake's direction. She caught it and put Roman's hand on the table, before giving it the gentlest of slaps. "No. Bad Roman."

"No!"

The voice came from Harper, who had yelled out and was pointing at Blake accusingly. He was scowling, looking as menacing as an eleven-month-old child could. "No. Bad Ah-Blake. No huwrt Daddy."

Roman looked to Blake, unsure of how she would handle this. She was staring back at Harper with a completely blank expression, and Roman was almost about to ask her if she needed to go outside, when she started laughing, a genuine laugh, and when she looked at Harper it was with amusement and maybe a touch of affection as well.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt your Daddy."
 
S a m u e l​

Samuel held his breath as Harper protested to Blake's playful slap. He was a child, what he saw was someone using violent against his daddy and he knew that violence was a big no-no so of course he would protest.

But Blake just laughed and Samuel relaxed and smiled as way, allowing himself to worry less and just think his son was cute.

"That's right, don't mess with Roman" Samuel said with a soft chuckle, "and you know what? Anyone who messes with him has to go through me, do you really want to challenge me, Blake?" He joked, hopefully adding to the nice mood, "I might even be better at you at armwrestling with my right hand now, who knows? You certainly wouldn't want to find out,"
 
r o m a n
​
"Sure," Blake said with an eyeroll, laughing. Roman was happy, because she was happy, and hopefully, she would be able to interact with Harper in a more positive way after this initial breakthrough.

Once the adults had finished their hot beverages and Harper seemed to be done with drawing, they moved into the living room, where they now had a permanent soft blanket laying on the floor, which was covered in Harper's toys. Roman sat him in the middle and he, Samuel and Blake each took a side of the square blanket to watch the little boy have fun and to play with him.

Harper took his toy soccerball, the same ball he had identified when he had said his first ever word, and offered it to Blake. She blinked a couple of times but took it, and when Harper crawled back over to sit in front of Roman, Blake rolled it to him. Then, the two continued to roll the ball back and forth between them, Blake with an unreadable expression on her face, Harper having the time of his life with his honorary auntie. To him, Blake was no different to Bella, Delilah, Matilda or Elissa.

But to Blake, Harper was a rollercoaster of different emotions, a rollercoaster she hadn't quite figured out yet.

"So, Samuel, judging by Harper's amazing drawing, we can be a hundred percent sure that he's going to end up being an artist," Roman said to his husband, in order to break the silence and hopefully make things a little more casual.
 
s a m u e l​

"While I agree that Harper's drawing was amazing and I hope that he continues to express himself creatively because that's an important part of being a child," Samuel said in a very matter of factly tone and then he put on a mischievous smile, "he's totally going to be more of a soccer player,"

He turned an affectionate gaze towards his son he was so precious and sweet and he could do whatever he wanted with his life. And Samuel loved seeing him draw just as much as he loved seeing him play with the plush soccer ball.

He also really liked seeing him play with Blake. It wasn't weird to see Harper play like this with someone who to him was a stranger, he was a crisis and playful kid, ready to show of his small vocabulary to anyone who would listen. But it was different seeing him play with Blake simply because the fact that the woman was able to be there and interact with the child meant she was recovering.

"Blake," Samuel asked in a joking serious tone, because he felt like he was supposed to speak to Blake right now like he would if it was anyone else play by with Harper, at least now that they seemed to have gotten into a more comfortable state of mind for everyone, "in your professional opinion, do you think Harper will get into sports or arts? Please keep in mind that his gods word was ball"
 
r o m a n
​
"His first word was ball?" Blake asked, with the air of a relative who had been out of touch for a while and was now learning something new about their beloved nephew. She had a small smile on her face and Roman's heart filled with joy. She was responding positively to Harper, which was more than Roman had ever expected from her, and it was amazing and great and he was very happy.

"Well, I mean, if his first word was ball he's probably going to be into soccer," Blake justified as she rolled the ball back to the little child. She never took her eyes off him. Roman wanted to know what she was thinking.

"You're a traitor."

"I am not. I'm just —"

Blake cut off when Harper put the ball aside and crawled over to her. Her eyes widened a little as Harper clambered onto her lap and sat on her thighs as he had done with Matilda and Elissa and all their other female friends, and honestly all their male friends as well, a thousand times. He even did it with Allison. This behaviour was not abnormal or atypical, and in fact, it was just what he regularly did.

He had a toy bumblebee in his hand, and was fixated on it. Blake, however, was staring at Harper with bated breath, not saying or doing anything for a solid ten seconds, before she let out that breath really shakily and the most uncomfortable look Roman had ever seen on her appeared on her face.

Please get him off, she mouthed at Samuel, who was closer, not saying anything out loud in order to preserve the baby's feelings.
 
s a m u e l​

Samuel just sat and watched those seconds before Blake reacted to Harper crawling up in her lap, and then Blake's expression turned uncomfortable and she clearly expressed needing Harper off her. Samuel's stomach twisted uncomfortably. Things had been going so well, but it's not like this was incredibly unexpected, and he certainly didn't blame Blake, especially since she was doing her best not to upset the child even in that moment.

"Harper, do you want to fly like the bumblebee?" Samuel asked in a cheery tone that didn't at all match his feelings. He didn't wait for a response hand lifted the little boy up under his arms in that way he loved and held him far above his head. He gave him a bright smile that he was too young to realise wasn't genuine before setting him down on his own lap.

Hopefully, that was enough to distract him from getting confused about why he was taking away from his daddies' friend's lap, that usually never happened, at least not right after he had decided to approach someone himself like that.

"Maybe it's time for me and Harper to go do something else for a while?" he had his arms around Harper still, keeping the little toddler close and made him lean with him as he leaned a little left and right, which must have looked silly but t was just to keep Harper's playful mood up and signal for him that his Papa was up for play time. The question, though, was directed at Blake, so that she could have the option to get a breather and talk to Roman without Harper there if she wanted.
 
r o m a n
​
An expression of immense relief crossed Blake's face when Harper was removed from her body. Roman carefully watched as she ran a hand over her face and turned to face elsewhere, anywhere but the infant, clearly emotionally overwhelmed. Roman glanced at Harper, but the little boy was none the wiser, simply happy to be back in his Papa's arms.

"I actually think it's almost time for this little man to have a nap," Roman said, referencing the yawn Harper gave. Hopefully Harper went to rest soon, so both Roman and Samuel could concentrate on helping Blake.

Blake went into the kitchen, and Roman and Samuel, after a few more minutes of playtime, went to put their son down for a nap. He went willingly, clearly pretty tired, and snuggled up to his bumblebee once his dads had tucked him in and kissed him on the forehead. Roman quietly closed the door on their way out, and then took his husband's hand and lead him into the kitchen, where Blake was leaning against the bench, another cup of chamomile tea in her hands, staring off into the distance.

As soon as she saw Roman and Samuel, she launched into an explanation. "I'm sorry -- I really am, I just ... I don't know. I ... I didn't have a problem talking to him, or playing with him, or anything like that, but when he came and sat on my lap ..." A couple of tears shed from Blake's blue eyes and slipped down her cheeks. She wiped them off sadly. "It reminded me of ... of what it felt like when I sat down and my stomach would touch my legs, and I could feel him moving inside, and I hated it. I tried not to, but I really hated those last months, when he was big enough to move around. I hated it, I hated myself, I hated him, not the baby, but him ..." Blake trailed off and by this point she was crying, and Roman was crying, because Blake rarely showed this kind of emotion and it was terrible and he just wanted them to be happy, but that wasn't possible in that moment.
 
So, they put Harper to bed, he seemed tired and like he would fall asleep just fine so after some proper goodnight kisses and making sure he was tugged in cosily Samuel and Roman could go back to the kitchen. Only to hear Blake apologize and explain what had gone through her mind at that time. And Samuel felt really horrible she felt that way.

"Blake, you don't need to apologize," Samuel said softly, holding back his tears simply because someone had to try keeping themselves together, but it was hard. Blake wasn't the kind of person who just cried for nothing obviously, and it was hard to know that his and Roman's happiness came at her expense.

"Harper is a reminder of what happened, there's no getting around that and we know that and don't blame you for anything " Samuel didn't reach out or put a hand on her shoulder or anything, he wasn't sure if Blake really wanted that kind of physical comfort, especially since it was the physical feeling of Harper being in her lap had reminded her of being pregnant with him. Samuel didn't want to accidentally touch her in a way that could remind her of something else, "And you being able to talk and play with him at this point is more than enough, we just want the both of you to be happy,"

That was true, at one point, Blake had been the most important in the scenario, but now she and Harper both were the most important. Blake was the one suffering though, not Harper. But in Blake being able to interact with the little boy it could possibly prevent Harper being upset in the future and hopefully one day, they'd be at a point where both of them could be completely happy around each other.

"And really thank you for protecting his feelings by not making it obvious to him that you wanted him off,"
 
r o m a n
​
"Well, I mean ... he's a little baby, I don't want to hurt him, even if ..." Blake trailed off, and Roman mentally finished her sentence for her. Even if he's that baby.

Roman agreed with Samuel completely. It was amazing that Blake had even come, and made as much progress with Harper as she had. And her happiness, along with Harper's, was the most important thing. Roman wasn't going to push her into anything, because he wanted her to be as happy as possible.

He stepped forward, tentatively, and held his arms out for Blake. She looked at him, let out a sob and practically ran into the hug, throwing her arms around his middle and pressing her face to his chest, which muffled the violent sobs that proceeded to come out. Roman was crying, too, but he was silent, and he turned and held a hand out to Samuel, needing him there too.

"I - I - I just wish it all could have been happier," Blake croaked. "I wish he hadn't come into the world the way he did."
 
s a m u e l​

Samuel carefully took Roman's hand and stepped into the hug. It was kind of a relief to get to do something like this and not just stay there and say words that maybe didn't even matter, he still continued to speak though, "I know it's hard, but when it comes to him I think we gotta think more about the positives, cus we all wish he could have come to this world in a better way, a way that didn't hurt you. But we can't change the past, so at least we can take comfort in the fact that Harper is happy, and that you can communicate with him a little now? That's really great,"

She had all of their friends, Samuel and Roman would always be there for her, but at the end of the day, she was going through this alone. No one could really truly relate to what it was she was going through. No one could really know what it felt like for her to see Harper.

But no matter if no one could relate they could try to at least aid her path to recovery. They weren't going to pressure her into doing things she couldn't do yet, she could take the time she needed and every small step was a good one, every step back they'd help her through.

"And you know, thank you, thank you for everything you've done, thank you for still doing things like this even if it still hurts you,"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back