Relationship Dealbreakers AKA "AW HEEEEEEL NAW"

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Diana, Jan 25, 2014.

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  1. It's been awhile since this topic has gone up! 8D

    So when it comes to you and the person you date, what is a total relationship DEAL BREAKER for you? And don't say any of the OBVIOUS shit like "I hate cheaters" and "I don't want to get punched in the face". And other stuff everybody hates. Because NO ONE likes that. >:[ I'm talking about personal things that you, yourself just refuse to deal with in your relationship.



    Back when I was dating, any guy that made a big deal about me being a virgin got put on my shit list. c___c;

    And if they're missing teeth. >:[ Yeah, that's right. Unless you went to WAR or lost your teeth saving babies or fighting cancer, missing teeth and not having replacements in is a deal breaker. I HAVE NO REGRETS.
     
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  2. Well despite my total and utter lack of a dating life, I would say a deal breaker for me would be someone who just doesn't like animals.
    Sorry guys who used to have an interest in me. I'm too much of an animal enthusiast to go out with an animal unenthusiast(not that that's a word [I think], but you'll get over it).
    Oh! and the same thing as you, Diana, making a fuss about my being a virgin would definitely put a guy on my chopping block.
    Missing teeth.. Not sure about that one. I might be able to put up with it.. Might, but I doubt it..
    Smokers(especially chain smokers) are out as well. I'm a bit of a bore like that xD I am strongly against smoking & drugs. Alcohol is alright in moderation. Doesn't mean I have to drink it.


    Hmmm.. All that makes me sounds like a complete and utter bore. Oh well, I guess people will have to take me as is haha
     
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  3. Ooh man, I have a pretty long list.

    • Being religious. As a Pastafarian priest newly coming out of atheism, we would probably just tear each other apart. I can really only date Pastafarians, atheists, and agnostics. Don't see it working out otherwise.
    • Cat allergies. I'm not giving up my cats for anyone. I've had them since Kindergarten, so fuck off. Maybe when they die this category can open up, but I'll probably mourn for a few months and get a kitten.
    • Any sort of an attitude toward bisexualism. This mostly applies to guys who think bisexual chicks must have an orgasm at the very thought of a three way with him and another girl. Short answer: NO.
    • On a related note, not a supporter of LGBTQ/QUILTBAGPIPE people. Don't really give a damn what the reasons are, I just don't think I could date someone who wasn't at all concerned.
    • Pro-life. Pretty major issue for me, and not something I'd really compromise on.
    • WANTING KIDS. Fuck that.
    • Moving too fast or no desire to commit. Gotta have a guy with sane idea of the pace our relationship should travel at.
    • Not being curious/ no love of learning. I need someone who will read wikipedia articles with me and be fascinated by things we never knew before.
    • Annoying family that I cannot reasonably avoid. In a small town, if your MIL/equivalent hates you, there's no avoiding her. Would not date someone who had a bitchy mom.
    • Fitness nut. I've never met someone I liked who goes to the gym religiously, and I'm not going to start going to please someone else.
    • No/tiny sense of humor. I really need to laugh in order to enjoy someone's company. I don't have any friends who I can't crack jokes with, so why would I want a "friend" who I can't? This probably includes a lot of offensive jokes, too, so a thick skin would be nice.
     
  4. * Intolerance/narrow-mindedness! When it comes to seriousopinions about other people, I am very much of the whole "live and let live" philosophy.

    * No sense of humor! If you don't have a sense of humor, there's no way you're going to be able to put up with me for more than fifteen minutes or so anyway, so it's not that concerning.

    * No sense of adventure. One day, I want to see the world! I want someone to come with me - happily.

    * Tact. I do not care if you're "just really honest with your opinions". If you make me wish I were invisible in public, this is bad. This goes double for treating retail employees like humans. I don't need you to coddle a terrible waitress, but, well. You get the idea.

    * Waiting 'till marriage. YUP. I'M THAT GUY. It's nothing to do with religion, I have no problem dating very religious people. But I want to know if we're compatible intimately BEFORE I agree to spend my life with you. When I marry, I want it to be for keeps, and I feel that to do that, you should know how you work together in every area of the relationship. Plus, maybe I'm handsy, what of it? >:[
     
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  5. I'm a super patient and understanding person, so its simple, NO drugs...no heroine, no pills, nothing addictive UNLESS prescribe by a doctor, if not prescribed and I find anything, I'm OUTTIE!
     
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  6. im honestly kinda picky bout people lol
    - being pansexual i will honestly date anyone no matter their genitalia and if u have aproblem with that we wouldnt date.
    - i believe in god but im not really spiritual i kinda dont like church
    - i like funny jokes apparently the ones that make me laugh most are dirty jokes
    - if u think that just because im a guy all i want is in ur pants ur wrong there, i prefer to just be sweet as in holding u and kissing u.
    - i love animals well except bugs...
    - im a little girly cant handle it go away
    - ive got a couple issues so id love it if ur willing to talk bout them with me
    - i love ppl who would play fighting games with me.
    - if u like comics its a bonus
    - also i dont mind height with boys but girls i hope u r shorter 5'8.5
     
  7. Thick skin is a must in the long run. Sense of humor is very important, too.
     
  8. Neediness. I'm an introvert, and sometimes I want time to myself. If I need a day or something, please don't freak out at me about how I don't love you or something. Shit, you can just sit there with me if you want, just let me zone out for a bit! Just be able to be independent. Please don't rely on me for everything.

    Speaking of that: insecurity. Not just any insecurity, because we all have our insecurities; I have plenty of insecurities myself. But my ex-boyfriend was insecure to the point of manipulating me because 'I didn't care about him' or 'find him attractive.' Now the latter ended up being true only because I turned out to be a lesbian, but I did absolutely everything I could to prove that I loved him. And I did. And it was never enough.

    Smoking. I don't want to kiss an ashtray, yo.

    Intolerance. I'd like to say 'you'd think it would be hard to find a gay bigot,' but unfortunately there are lots of assholes in the LGBT community too... I've met so many lesbians who hate bisexuals, or gay dudes who hate trans people, and let us not forget about the racism.

    No ambition. I don't care if you're having problems right now, but please have some intent of fixing them.

    Wanting children. Noooope. Nope. Nope nope nope.

    Doesn't want animals. See above.

    Complete logical thinker, AKA "why are you being so irrational?" Logic is awesome. So are emotions. Emotions make life interesting. Please don't be completely cut away from yours, or treat me like a child because I am not.

    Incompatible sex drive. GOD THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. I'm willing to make compromises - as you do - but we're going to have to at least be on the same plane of libido. I don't want you to suffer because I don't want to get it on all the time; I don't want myself to suffer because you do.
     
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  9. This thread is suggesting that I even know what love is in the first place.
     
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  10. Deal breakers for me:

    1. Smoking
    I don't mind if my partner smoke, as long as they don't expect me to kiss them for the next six hours afterwards. It's their choice. Kissing or smoking, I'm fine either way. And no taking up a cigarette when I'm standing right beside them, and talks with them. It's kind of annoying to take ten steps back so that my lungs won't get poisoned while trying to keep up a conversation.

    2. Drinking
    Once again, I don't really mind if they drink, but don't do it where I live and don't talk to me if you're drunk. I can't handle drunk people.

    3. Drugs
    No drugs! There are some I can get over as long as they aren't taken in my presence, and only very rarely and if they are rather harmless. But harmful drugs, or very very very addictive drugs that's taken all the time is a no no.

    4. Sex
    Yeah, this will probably turn most people off, but I don't do sex. Never done, never will. I'm asexual and aren't very interested in it. I have only come to the stage of french kissing and just that feels weird to me, it's just germs and ugh. Me not want. So I will probably never go further than that. I'm completely open for an open relationship where my partner have sex with other people. And I'm open to talk about it with them. I just can't live with someone that wants to push me into doing it.

    5. Children
    I don't want children, I'm living a childfree lifestyle. I can babysit, I can work at kindergarten some times now and then, but there's not a chance in the world that I will have a kid in my stomach for nine month, feel morning sick, be emotionally stressed, might get complications, might be in labor for 12 hours to push out that damn thing, wake up every night cause it starts screaming, take care of the thing for 18 years. No. I'm a patient person, but I'm already suffering from insomnia and gets nervous really easily. If something gives me even less sleep, then I will throw it out of the window. (And then sent to jail)


    6. Religion
    I don't mind if they have a religion, but I'm an agnostic and at the moment also an atheist (Don't believe in God but can never be sure if there actually is one or not). I believe that it is impossible for us to know if any religion is true, so I can never be conveyed to a religion. If they try to convert me to their religion then I will kick them out of my life. I might become an agnostic deist one day if I feel that it makes more sense. But I will never have a religion, because there is too many to actually choose the right one. There's hundreds of active religions, it's less than 1% chance that you choose the so called 'true' religion. So, if my partner tries to convert me (like all the time) then they're out.


    And that's about it.
    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S IT, NO SEX. THAT'S HORRIBLE!!!"
    Silly human, I just said no sex with me :3 My partner could have an orgy if he/she felt like it. But I want every detail, human sexuality kind of fascinates me xD
     
  11. This is hard for me.. Because I have been with people in the past who do the things I will list in a moment, and I usually look past those deal breakers if I really like someone.
    I suppose that is a fault. Buuuut, I'll list my "deal breakers" anyways, even if I have looked past them cuz I'm a naive little squirrel kitten. :D

    -Drugs. No. Plz, plz no. Having dealt with druggie partners in the past, whether it be super super frequent weed smokers or doing lsd and stuff, just doesn't sit with me. I'll put up with it, but I will be extremely uncomfortable. And then that means I'm not really being myself. And if I'm not myself with someone else I like, then what's between us isn't true. Ya kno? Ya kno. I will always be open to helping the other person through "saying no" to whatever they're doing, if they wish to make that choice and give it away for good. If not, I respect that. I just will not be into it.

    -Peer pressure. Don't chu be pressurin me to be smokin dem joints or drinkin dat goose or gettin buzzay. No.

    -Yeah, hating animals. If you hate animals, I'm sorry. I can't handle the hate. I've had a partner in the past who I watched, literally, kick a squirrel that was frozen on the ground. Even in death, fucking respect animals. The fuck. That's messed up and I will cry all over.

    -Bad breath. Like, intensely bad breath, or serious body odor. I'm a physical person, I like to be affectionate and close. I can't handle anything that makes me want to go shower right after being in any kind of contact with someone who gives off bad breath or odors. It's just how I am. I will tolerate it if I can, but it's hard for me.. Depends on how much I like someone for who they are, then I will try harder.

    All I can think right now. I was gonna put "being close-minded" but, if someone if willing to see my side of opinions too, then we can make good debate partners as well. And I'm all for that, to an extent.
    so yea.


     
  12. Obnoxious drunkenness/highs. I don't mind if someone drinks or, say, smokes weed, but control your high. If you can't, stop doing it.

    Super religiousness. While I enjoy religion as a funtime philosophy topic, and I'm not going to crap on other peoples' beliefs, I really want a woman to be on the same page as I am so far as Sky Cake goes.

    Not wanting kids. Sorry, I want some in my future.

    Being a hater. You don't have to share my interests necessarily, but if you think the nerdy stuff I like is beneath you or pointless, goodbye.

    But really...

    I want a girl with a mind like a diamond.
     
  13. Hot and pressured?







    I'll see myself out now
     
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  14. ME? Oh, well...
    • Being uber religious, or, trying to drag me into your religion.
    • Not being open minded.
    • Cats. Actually, just pets. I don't mind animals, and I think they ARE cool, but, I'm not living with one, and I don't want you smelling like one. However, If you own one and I don't live with you? All's cool. Long as ya aren't smelly.
    • Not having a thick skin/sense of humor. It would aggravate me if you either didn't acknowledge my joke as one, or became super offended by it.
    • Patience. Be patient. I have my flaws, and If you point them out, gimme some time to adjust.
    • NO DRUGS. Not a single cigarette. on the flip-side, you can drink, but don't expect me to breathe the same air as you, and if you get drunk, I'm leaving your ass to mellow out.
    • Be chill. I don't like extremely busy serious people. At the same time, I would like you to think logically.
    • The number one turn off. Don't ever insult me liking something. You can have your own dislike for it, and I'm cool with that. just don't hate on me for something like that Respect my ability to be a dork.
     
  15. No, just a 10 on the Mohs scale.
     
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  16. I can't date people who aren't into hygiene.

    Also, my shit list:

    -People who make jokes about my heritage
    -Laugh at the way I walk
    -Call me tranny
    -Yell at me
    -Judge me for shit my family does
    -Yell at kids
    -Wants kids
    -Has kids
    -Needs kids



    Sorry but no. Oh and those who can't handle the insanity.


    Also, I'm not really a dating guy right now.
     
    #16 LogicfromLogic, Jan 25, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2014
  17. I've never really thought too much about deal-breakers - I think the only solid one is no drugs/smoking or abuse of alcohol/scripts/persons. I usually have more of a deal-maker list. I suppose that could be a topic for another thread.

    However, I was recently talking to a man I was
    vaguely interested in and, for the life of me I can't remember what I said... Something like, "Are you a rainy-day or a sunny-day person?" He replied -"I like the sun." (Sidenote: THAT WAS NOT THE QUESTION, DUMMY.) Then he asked me in return (AKA: "What about you?), I said something along the lines of, "I'm a rainy-day person. There is just something about the solitude it brings - even if it is slightly forlorn at times, it is still soothing and comforting." NOTHING THAT DEEP. He looks at me and says in a completely serious and judgmental voice:

    "... Don't start quoting poetry on me. Or I'm going to go."
    Whaaaaaaaaat?! I shit you not, that is what he said. And then laughed about it like he made the best joke about his "man-card" being taken away. I just turned around and went back to what I was working on before he came over to talk.

    So. I guess my new deal-maker would include something about having a robust vocabulary, being able to have insights and not just thoughts, and BEING A RAINY-DAY PERSON.

    Freak. Can you believe that?
     
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  18. INSTA-REJECTION:

    - Hardcore conservatism.
    I can stand a little bit of the ol' Reds, but not much.

    - Intolerance to a particular race/creed/sexuality/gender/religion.
    Pretty straight forward.

    - Not having a sense of humor.
    I make A LOT of jokes. Most are funny. Some are not. If you don't laugh at all, I don't really need you around. I've got enough gloom in my life as it is.

    - Not having a musical preference.
    It has been my experience that people who don't like music or don't have a favorite kind of music aren't to be trusted. Something in them is bankrupt and if fucks up the whole flow of our relationship/friendship/what have you.

    - Not a fan of reading/writing.
    I think it's safe to assume that we won't be running into anyone like that around here... ;)

    - Not a fan of sex.
    I will be your buddy. I will be your pal. But if you want to be in a partnership/relationship with me, you must love physical/sexual contact. I'm not much for the dating thing, to be honest and getting close to people is always harder than you realize. But when I do and I have strong feelings for them and they have the same for me, I want to be able to express those feeling sexually. Sex has always been a special thing for me that I DO NOT/WILL NOT TAKE CASUALLY. There are far too many twists and turns to take with someone after being sexual with them that I'd rather take with someone whom I trust and/or love.

    Thing is, I'm a pretty reasonable guy. I can be bartered/bargained with and I'm always willing to hear you out. I dig compromise and would expect the same out of my partner/friends.

    That's all for now. :D
     
    #18 Primordial Booze, Jan 26, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 26, 2014
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  19. Tobacco - I'm from a generation that demonized tobacco products from day one and these assholes do it anyway? The only logical reason for is is because it's "cool". Yeah, enjoy an early grave, cool kid.

    Conformity - I'm not into societal conformity. I'm a weird person, and I'm just going to embarrass them anyway. Besides, they might want me to do something stupid.

    Hard Drugs (ie not marijuana, molly, et cetera) - First off, why would you try it in the first place, second off, why did you keep going, third, why do you want me to do it, and finally, why are you still talking to me?

    Issues with Androgyny - Hi, I'm an androgynous male, why don't you get the fuck out of my face

    Discriminatory - Racism, sexism, gender identity hate, sexual orientation hate, ableism, et cetera et cetera Yeah come back when you kick that.

    Can't see own flaws - You're about as perfect Van Gogh's ear for music. Own up to your mistakes and I'll forgive and respect you.
     
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  20. LOL
    1) How does poetry veto ones "Man Card"?
    2) What the blue fuck is a "Man Card" anyway?
    3) I can't seem to find my "Man Card". How do I get a new one? Is there a member subscription number I need to call?
     
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