Relationship Dealbreakers AKA "AW HEEEEEEL NAW"

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Primordial Booze said:
LOL
1) How does poetry veto ones "Man Card"?
2) What the blue fuck is a "Man Card" anyway?
3) I can't seem to find my "Man Card". How do I get a new one? Is there a member subscription number I need to call?
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If you lost your man card, and it don't look good... who ya gonna call?
1-800-man-card

But, yeah, both of you screwed up on that one. He should have stopped after what about you, and you shouldn't have made such an issue out of it. I mean, come on, sunny people are awesome!
 
As it turns out 1-800-MAN-CARD has changed formats. It is now 1-900-MAN-CARD. When I called it, all I heard was a lot of heavy breathing...
 
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Primordial Booze said:
As it turns out 1-800-MAN-CARD has changed formats. It is now 1-900-MAN-CARD. When I called it, all I heard was a lot of heavy breathing...
Click to expand...
There is a legit 1-800-man-card?
 
I think mine are common among the populace.

a. Sense of adventure. Don't have it? Don't apply.
b. Cling. I don't mind a little, but a lot is baaaaad.
c. Narcissism. There's an age old question that goes something like "how can you expect others to love you if you don't love yourself?", but this isn't quite what they had in mind.
d. Humor. I love to laugh, and I love to make others laugh. No form of humor is above or below me, so long as it's actually funny. If this bothers you, then that's a problem.
 
No hard drugs: A big chunk of my immediate and extended family smokes weed, so its all good if you do too, but anything truly hazardous to your health and horrifically addictive? Yeah, no. That's not gonna fly with me.

No pressure: I don't drink/smoke, and you must respect that. The moment you try to coerce or force me into drinking with you, or really trying ANYTHING I don't want to do, we're done. You can ask, but a no means no.

Racism/Sexism/Homophobia/Transphobia: NEIN! If any kind of hate directed towards these issues comes out of your mouth, be prepared for a wicked verbal assault and a swift kick out of my home. Or me turning and leaving, depending on where we are.

Be Open-minded: I like a lot of strange and wonderful things, ranging between keeping a collection of skulls (real and fake) around my room to watching MLP: FIM religiously. You don't have to enjoy everything that I do, but you need to be open to it.

Cats: You don't have to be a cat person. You might even convince me that we could keep a dog. But it better be a dog that gets along with cats, because I will never be without one. I will take in strays, I will feed neighbourhood wanderers, I have catnip growing in my garden. I have never been without a cat, and I never will be. So any allergies to cats? Sorry, but we're just not gonna work out.

Gaming: I am glued to my gaming systems. There is nothing you can say to convince me to part with any of them. You can join me and we'll have fun tearing up the online world, but if you're not into that kind of thing, then you need to be ok to give me space to play.

Writing: I'm a writer, and sometimes I write smut with other people. This doesn't mean that I feel any less for you, nor do I feel sexual attraction to the writer on the other end. I just enjoy writing, and a lot can be conveyed through sex. It happens. Be ok with it.

Speaking of sex: I'm not real big on the sexytimes in RL. Honestly, sex is a bit terrifying to me, seeing as I have no experience with anything relative to the actual sex. I've had a girlfriend. I kinda know how things work, but we didn't get very far. Kissing, cuddling, clinging; that's all good. Intimate parts meshing? *Flees*
 
Well, someone who's emotionally or physically abusive... obviously. But since that doesn't count here...

I become good friends with someone before I start dating them... I just don't like them otherwise. So once I'm already friends with someone, I'm already familiar enough with their quirks to know if I want to pursue a relationship.

But one thing that is a dealbreaker for me, which usually comes up long before I actually start dating someone, is a person who cannot accept my asexuality. I've had guys on OKCupid literally tell me that I'm only asexual because I haven't tried "them." That's pretty much an instant "sassy response and then block you" for me, because it's like telling the same thing to someone who is lesbian. "You're only lesbian because you haven't tried the right d***" is never ok, but for some reason it's ok to say that to someone who identifies as asexual?

Yeah, no.
 
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I don't actually have enough experience to say what is or is not actually a "dealbreaker" per se. I can make a few statements on what would probably cause me to write someone off as a potential for a close relationship though.

Smoking - I actually have nothing against it or people doing it, but I don't do it and my lungs are very sensitive to smoke.
Cheating - I am not an "open" relationships person. If that is a problem, we are not right for each other. If you want some space and then start getting close to someone else, I will take that as a sign that we are done.
Judgmental/Intolerant - If I feel like I have to keep certain parts of myself on the backburner around you, we are obviously not right for a closer relationship.
Serious Addictions - I'm not heartless. I will be friends with you and try to help, but your loyalty is to whatever you are addicted to. I would be foolish to expect otherwise.

This last one is kind of hard for me to pin down with only a few words. Desire for power over others, invasiveness, having a strong opinion of something that doesn't affect you. I am an individual. I will not try to force you to fit a mold or tell you how to live your life, and I expect to be shown the same courtesy. Show respect for that, or you will be shown none.
 
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@Primordial Booze Exactly!! When he said "Man-card" I honestly didn't believe that anyone actually "felt" that way, and that was something someone made up in the movies. If a man card = guzzling booze, screaming at the TV for a football team that can't hear you and only using grunts to communicate... then HAVING a man-card is my new deal breaker...
 
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The very idea of having a "man card" that one can lose is just idiotic. It's just another way of saying "if you don't conform to these gender norms, you must not actually consider yourself a male." That's not even touching on what it says about women, or the fact that it implies that it's bad to have traits that don't fit the norm.
 
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Mine would of be "revoked" YEARS ago.
Fine then. Take it. It appears to be dealbreaker to intelligent women. lol

But seriously, cooking/baking, liking to cuddling, taking some pride in my appearance, listening to my friend's problems and wanting to help instead of just wanting to bang them have all been things that have had some of my male friends look down on me for. Why? What the hell do they know anyway, they're single! lol
 
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I love how everyone else is going with things like "don't fuss over my virginity" "drugs" "respect" and all this really serious stuff, when all of a sudden... "finish my food already!" XD

Hilariously honest. Thank you for posting something a little lighter.
 
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Well, to be fair, food is pretty important.
If you can't depend on someone to finish it for you, who CAN you depend on? ;)
 
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Not me, that's for sure. :P

My appetite is all over the place, and I often specifically plan on not finishing so I can have leftovers. It was a thing at the first college I went to. I would go to this taco place across the street, get a massive burrito (I mean these things were a solid foot long at least and maybe four inches in diameter), and then eat half for lunch and half for dinner. $3.50 a meal - better than a combo at McDs, and the food quality itself was incomparably better.
 
Drugs/Alcohol. I don't think this needs an explanation. Just that he can't do it.

Moving too quickly. This is probably the worst. I like my space. Please don't facebook me everyday, write sappy love stuff, nag me to get on skype, whatever. Space. I need space. A lot of it. I have breakdowns even at family gatherings if there's too many people. Don't crowd me.

Religion. I'm pretty religious. I love my church. While I wont press it on you, if you don't have a faith, I wont marry you. I watched my mother, religious, and father, non-religious, struggle with this. I wont put my children through the same thing. Nothing's worse than believing you're not going to be with your family for all eternity.

Sex. I'm pretty much asexual. I don't care about sex/ don't find it interesting at all. If that's something he needs everyday, we're not compatible.

Children. I'm not having them. We can adopt, but that's it.
 
I have very few and most of them aren't static. I find that if I enjoy the person's company and I can feel the same positive emotions from them that I am giving, then the rest comes fairly naturally. I also don't feel that I should starve myself of experience simply because I disagree with whether we want kids or religion or drugs. While those things can make a person terrible and give them terrible experiences, such things should never be held so firmly, I feel. You never know if you will meet the one that breaks the stereotype you have set in your mind.

I am aware a lot of you will argue this. Because you have a particular experience or experiences that tell otherwise. Are you a liar? Am I? No and no. We simply saw the world differently. I'm not saying give the next pothead/sex driven teen/religious nut a chance if they come on to you, but rather I am saying you should keep in mind that not everyone follows stereotypes and you might find love where you didn't know it was being kept.
 
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Since I'm already heels over head in love, I don't have deal breakers anymore. If we were to break up, that wouldn't change a whole lot. For a long time, I haven't thought I had much room to be picky. Reason: I'm sort of high maintenance. I wouldn't deny it if anyone wants to label me as a crazy chick. Anyone who can tolerate my mentally ill induced behavior and embrace all that I am will catch my attention. It takes a very special person to handle me. My boyfriends before Peter weren't up to the task, so I had to let them go. (Meaning, break up with them, not kill them. :3)

Some general things will make me turn away, of course. Such as being too irresponsible, and being dishonest. I don't like secrets, or immaturity where it doesn't belong. Take care of your adult responsibilities first, and then play. That's how I roll. History of abuse, too. I had an abusive childhood, so naturally I dated people who liked to hurt me. Ain't going to happen again, because I finally realized my mistakes. I instead look for someone who would prefer to protect me. <3
 
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Some lighter subject things than the usual no-gos (cheating, abuse, over sensitive, etc)

I don't think I could date someone who had the same name as one of my parents or siblings; I could maybe come up with a nickname or something if the guy was really fantastic, but it'd definitely be weird
 
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