RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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You tell yourself that you're free, when inside you feel like you are losing something.

It's something that no longer makes you happy and just hurts you, but like the stupid selfish idiot you are, you still have to pry yourself away from it.

No amount of over-analytics, Mental Dissections or mulling it over in my head is going to hasten the passing of this shitty feeling.

Just stop being stupid and let my support group help me recover, Pride. Stop calling over your bitch Shame to hold me down, goddamnit. I need this...

Fuck... I've been in need of this for a long time now...
 
Had a particularly bad onslaught of anxiety. Should've seen it coming from the decline over the past few days, but fuck.

I'm staying in bed with constant ASMR until this shit blows over. Can't fucking deal with this right now.
 
Agh, this whole week is a bore.
Today, I have to watch HurricaneBill wreck havoc at the same time I have to see my grandmother. Why can't this horrible week of visiting raunchy nursing homes end? Why can't my grandmother be better? Why is Alzheimer's incurable?

My brain is empty, only having irrelevant shit to light. Everyone's screaming in my ear, and I'm thrown into a stress-induced frenzy. I can't help that I'm a bit crazy, let alone everything else. I can't even help that I'm not like everyone else. While everything is a breeze, I just can't take it...
Am I that much of a failure? Just TELL ME!
 
Why do people think it's okay to pull into someone's drive, ring the doorbell, and ask if the old truck is for sale when there's NO SIGN on it? Why do people think it's okay to ask to buy something that has no indication of being for sale other than it being old and stationary? That's my dad's fucking retirement project. I think we need a polebarn to hide it in damnit.
 
Unbelievable. I forgot to add OBSE to the mod list while modding Oblivion. That's essentially the one thing required to make this shit work properly.

Man, I'm a fucking ass.
 
Don't talk about being a good roleplay when I'm not. I just fucking wish I could start everything over on this site, get a clean slate. closs my eyes pick up a gun and shoot everything bad I've done here, or anywhere down.
 
I'm fucked I feel so invisible all the time to everyone and like? I get that people aren't ignoring me on purpose but I always have this irrational fear looming over me that nobody actually gives a shit about me. I'm literally so fucking forgettable and unimpactful if I died right now only 1 person would notice. One. One person. My dad because he's in the room with me right now. I just want to feel like I matter to someone instead of having to guess whether there are people on this planet who care about me. I wish I wasn't so needy about attention and that I didn't have a talent for pushing people away but (shrugs shoulders) (goes to take my damn prozac)
 
WHY IS MY WHOLE HOUSE COVERED IN SAND!? WHHHHHYYYYYYY?!
 
I wish I could slap you. I can't tell who you are - are you the kind, sweet guy that brought me an iced tea on our first date, or are you the wannabe rocker that going on online dating sites while we are still dating? I wish I could slap you! I'm just glad that I discovered your stupid true colours before we went any farther. I wish I could tell your mom and sister what you did to me - that you're not Mr. Perfect. I'm just pissed at you for leading me on. You said you were devastated when she cheated on you, yet you are looking online when we are still dating? I hope you have fun with that stupid band that is going no where, your dad's failing business, and your lack of direction of life. I wanted to leave on good terms, now I'm just angry at you.

Luckily, you've empowered me. I'm strong, I'm beautiful, and I deserve better. I deserve a guy that I can spend lots of time with, someone who is stable, someone who won't get mad when I don't stay at the bar until 3am. I hope you have fun with this new chick - I think you met her the day before we broke up, but did you know she has a boyfriend? You probably thought "wow she's better than Sarah"... but now you can't date her? Oh, poor you! You're just an idiot.

Can't wait to move on with my relationships and away from you. And when I'm successful with a husband and kids, I hope you're sitting on that money pit of your dad's business and your stupid drum set and wondering "wow, I really messed up."

Thank God I don't have to look at you again. I really dislike you. Can you come over so I can slap you? Oh, also --- all that stuff we got to move out with? The crock pot, the DVD player? I'm keeping it all unless you ask. You don't deserve anything after what you did.
 
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Can I just, like, be allowed to sleep an entire day?

Slep like shit for the past two nights and I'm starting to feel it.
 
I messed up my oral report in my college English class this morning. While I've always been better just putting and organizing my thoughts on paper, those silences in between were just horrible. ; _ ; Add to that I think I missed several key parts to add in the analysis, I did my research but didn't get to add those. It's just that everything I put down to recite to class ends up blanking out when it's time to speak...
 
I dislike the woman that my uncle is seeing at the moment. I dislike her, even if I've not met her, I can tell how she really is like.
 
Kaga-kun said:
At least it doesn't autoplay with sound?
Click to expand...
Eh, should've clarified, I mean the autoplay music people put on their blogs, make ridiculously loud or something, and it takes forever to find the little thing to turn it off.
 
K05CH31 said:
Eh, should've clarified, I mean the autoplay music people put on their blogs, make ridiculously loud or something, and it takes forever to find the little thing to turn it off.
Click to expand...

Oh, yeah, that is annoying, I agree. Actually a lot of the time it can be downright startling when I open someone's blog in a new tab while I'm focused on something else and I just don't expect music to start playing. >>
 
Let me fill you in on a secret to leadership, oh super asshole boss of mine,

Leadership isn't tearing down your team instead of helping them back up when they make a mistake, especially if that mistake is your fault for not even saying anything. I was waiting because I had no idea that you were actually using the customer for something, you said that you were working with the other one. How in the seven hells am I supposed to know that if you do not make it clear? Also, if you want to teach the kids to respect others, try showing some to people while you are around them. You can't tell a child to be nice to others if you can't, you didn't hurt my feelings when you snapped at me, you set a bad example for the children (especially considering today's lesson in anti-bullying). It's logic, not rocket science. so the next time that you want to get up in my face and tell me that I'm a 'bad worker', why don't you look at your own damn decisions and realize that it isn't your worker that is the problem but you.

So yeah, basically I'm telling you that you suck ass at being a leader because you can't curb your temper long enough to show it away from the kids and you can't see your own problems without mooching off blame on others.
 
I know for a fact I only shared my personal number with very few close friends I can count on one hand, some of my group mates for a report, and my family.

I don't know who would even go as far as to send me harassing text messages and it's creeping me out. They seem to know who my friends are and who I am.
 
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