Not sure...

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Ragnar Lothbrok, Dec 21, 2014.

  1. First time for a sort of advice seeking thing but do you cope with loss? I'm not doing too well with it at the moment.
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  2. Fall into oblivion. It is the only way.
  3. Yeah...
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  4. First of all, I am sorry to hear about your loss. I will try my best to offer my words of advice.

    The phrase 'time heals all wounds' comes to mind here. It will definitely take you time; it is not something that will be all better the next day. Take all the time you need to grieve.

    You also do not have to go through it alone. Friends and family are there to support you through your loss. A good support network will make it easier to cope with loss.
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  5. What kind of loss? (Just to clarify and to give you better, more compassionate answer than you received first). I'm assuming death. If so, it really depends on you and who you lost and how things were with them.

    Talking can help but then so can just immersing yourself in your day to day life so you don't get dragged down. Do you have someone you can talk to? Friend, family, counselor, clergy? Your school may have someone who can help if you are a student. I know that when I lost someone about a year ago talking to people who loved them too helped. but then it wasn't a sudden or unexpected death so I had lots of time to adjust.
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  6. iMisterH, thank you for your words. I have my brother yet we do not discuss our mutual loss, our mother. I would like to talk to him about it but every time I think about it I do not. I have not told my friends, not certain why.

    Adelaide, I haven't thought to seek counseling, maybe I should. Like I was telling iMisterH I don't talk about it with my brother and my father more or less told me people die all the time. I can't really express my emotions in real life. I keep it in which is why I turned online for help. I won't feel foolish, as foolish.
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  7. You shouldn't go online for help, that's foolish.
  8. Seriously, what is your problem? Do you honestly think by marking negative ratings is bothering me? Do what you will. If you are not planning on talking sense get the hell out of here.
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  9. Whatever your loss, I'm sorry to hear about it.

    When I'm coping with a loss, I rally my family and loved ones around me. Spending time with those I love who are still with me makes me feel more secure, and helps me appreciate what I have. Taking some time to myself to reflect and sort my feelings out helps too, but too much solitary time can be bad; moderation, y'know? hipe you're doing better soon.
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  10. Minibit, thank you. I try to distract myself with work. Focusing on something else because you are right too much time alone makes me think thoughts, shoulder personal blame. I am believing next year will be better.
    Thank you everyone. It feels, I don't have a right word for it, a little better to talk with those who have experienced loss.
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  11. Fenix, that's what the counselling forums are for. Iwaku is meant to be a supportive community not only where members can have fun Roleplaying, but can make friends, feel safe and comfortable, and find support when they need it. Your post falls under violation of our "don't be a dick" rule, which is in place to support the kind of community I just described. It's easy to think of people on the Internet as just faceless beings, but we need to remember that every username is attached to a person with feelings and needs, and be sensitive to that when interacting with others. Please try to play nicely.
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  12. Oh I am sorry. I just meant when bad things happen one tends to think bad thoughts.

  13. There's no universal method, but here's mine if it helps.

    Step 1: Cry. A lot. Until your body goes numb.
    Step 2: After (what is likely) several minutes, your brain will eventually respond to overwhelming pain by flushing out the chemicals that make you feel sorrow. (It's a defense mechanism to prevent overdose.) At this point you should feel pretty numb.
    Step 3: Find something that makes you happy, be it a movie or a game or a book. Especially if it induces fond childhood nostalgia or other such memories.
    Step 4: Indulge. Right about now you'll want to eat stuff with high sugar content, it'll help you recover from the sob-fest you had earlier and will naturally cause the brain to produce serotonin (the "happy chemical" as it's informally called), which will further help.
    Step 5: Go find people to talk to, which you trust, and talk about anything. Human beings are social animals regardless of whether the individual is introverted or extroverted. This is another step on the road to recovery.
    Step 6: From there, continue living life, take it one step at a time until the loss is simply something you've come to accept.


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  15. Just a guess.
  16. Aren't you sweet.
  17. We all go through grief differently. Don't believe for a moment that you have to go through exactly what the steps of loss are in order if at all. Best advice that I can give is to reach out like you are now, and never hold back from showing an emotion. Losing someone is never easy, and I am very sorry for your loss.

    Brovo basically said it all.
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  18. oh the clip is fantastic

    now whenever i see sean bean, i mentally make him add "winter is coming" at the end of every sentence

    it makes goldeneye more awesome
  19. Thank you. I think I will talk about it with my brother. Sometimes though, I could be working when I suddenly get hit by the past. Memories, good ones, to where I feel numb, realized I will never get to experience other things. This and I think about the whole Heaven thing....sometimes it's a bit much. I just really want to know if she's okay...if I could have that, peace of mind, I will be okay.
  20. Thank you. I appreciate your words.