Make a wish!

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Granted, except one bite causes a nuclear explosion which kills the universe instantly.

I wish for more time.
 
granted, you're frozen in time for eternity and unable to move.

I wish for the opposite of my wish to become positive while my wish is opposite of the opposite.
 
Granted. Your mind. It is blown. That's what you get for dividing by zero.

I wish for

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Granted, but only for five seconds.

I wish I had the ability to speed up time whenever I wanted to.
 
Granted, but you can't control it very well and accidentally fast forward a couple million years.

I wish I had wished for a better wish than this wish I am wishing for right now in this thread about wishes.
 
Granted...I think...but now you made my head hurt.

I wish Howard the Duck the movie was awesome.
 
Granted, but there is no good movies released for two decades afterwards.

I wish for a colouring pencil.
 
Granted, but it's broken and you don't have a sharpener.

I wish for twenty bucks.
 
Granted, though inflation goes up and you can't buy anything with it anymore.

I wish my writers block would go away.
 
granted. you now have writer's bucket.

i want to travel the world.
 
Granted, but you've been exiled so you can never go home.

I wish there were more interesting things on TV.
 
Granted, it all looks interesting, but when actually watching it you realize that it's still kinda shit.

I wish this wish was not wish.
 
granted. it tastes horrible.

i wish i had the stamina to marathorn game of thrones
 
Granted, but you're constantly distracted and miss every sex/action scene.

I wish my turkey would cook itself...
 
granted. its also alive and wants revenge. ZOMBIE TURKEY. ZOMBURKY! WHEN TURKEYS NOM YOU!

i wish for a turkey apocalypse. a turkopalypse!
 
Granted. The world watches in horror as Turkey falls into ruin. Where will we now get our sweet, jelly delights from?

I wish to ban canned cranberry sauce. Lynch the one's who can't afford the real stuff!
 
Granted, but all cranberries in the world are banned as well.

I wish a tub of cool whip could last more than five minutes in my house.
 
Granted, but you can never eat cool whip again.

I wish I didn't have a migraine.
 
Granted. Instead you suffer a brain hemorrhage. Good luck with that.

I wish bumblebee-elephants were a thing. That'd be so stinking cute.
 
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