Look! ...umm its a [insert something distracting that would make you look away as I run]

...

The words…Oh god the words that are taking over my mind.

Another person and time, the verses and rhyme…picking the possibilities clean.

The words…
They flow and cease to be, ironically, at the same time.

From the tip of my tongue to the core of my soul, they are what consume me.

Let the poison seep into me, let the sleeper awaken.

This day is just like the rest…
Only now…your eyes are open.


______________________________

For :sweets.
______________________________

~One of my hidden meaning poems. Just wrote it.
Eh, not going to explain it, just take it as you will.
 
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Reactions: 1 person
Oldness. found and just posted now. blah.
_______________________________________________________________________

Stealing my hope: They won't let me be.
This isn't going to be easy, I can already tell.

Really...all I am is scared.
I don't know what to do...tell me...lead me away.

Kill the scared and pitiful thoughts, kill them...KILL THEM.
Eventually things will pass, just help me kill the thoughts.
...Never let them rise...the noise will be too much.
________________________________________________________________________
 
I love your works, Cor! Keep letting the emotions flow! It's beautiful in its pain, and in it's imagery.
 
Rant drop:
(This month\last months rants, so recent....ish.)


Push-pull.
Pull-push.

QUIT MAKING ME WANT TO PLAY THESE LITTLE MIND GAMES.

PULL YOU BACK. PUSH ME AWAY. You make it so easy, you make it so damn fun.
__________________________________________________________

STOP!

Screw the pain I feel. I FEEL NO PAIN. This is not denial...

I will not fall for it this time.

No. Leave me be.

___________________________________________________________

I hate life at times. I really do. If I weren't so afraid of death, the afterlife, I'd be dead by now. DAMNIT. My life makes no sense. My life feels like it is nothing. I feel as if -I- am nothing. Why must everyone look at me as if I'm the freak. ...honestly. I've seen other people say so much worse and you all not even blink.

Why must life be this way. Why must my heart want what it can not have. Why must I feel so lonely... feeling so little joy in each day.

Why can't I stop asking why....
____________________________________________________________

Each breath...each step. ITS ALL GETTING HARDER.

They tell me to hold on....just hold on. KEEP HOLDING ON TO WHAT.

I have nothing.

If I do....its yet to be seen.

Yes I 'have' you.....but...you aren't within reach. Nothing seems to be...things that are...are hazily seen.

I can't feel anything but the lonesome pang...its slowly consuming.

Dear god...its eating me alive.

I am fading away...more so with each passing day.

Hold me up....I can't seem to stand on my own.








 
Hopehopehopehopehope

I will look foward.



I will...

hope.






​































​
 
...

Fuck, I've had no inspiration to write. Ok…I've had plenty. but I'll be damned if the words just wont come out.

I sit here, staring at the blank space.

Digging and digging, for something…anything.
Sometimes small snippets come…Only, they escape right back into my mind... almost angry at me for bringing them forth in the first place.

The resulting nothingness screams silently at me as I poke and prod for more fragments to surface.

...I want the words to flow, beautifully, weaving together to paint this or that.

But…nothing.

My canvas remains lacking…the white glaring at me disgusted like.

Why are things hiding themselves…this lacking is unacceptable.

Perhaps the 'colours' have been drowned in thinner…?




Yes, this shall become my excuse.
 
Poem drop.

A shadow. 11-24-2009 09:59 AM


<DIR>Tell me, dear one...

Is it really the light of each new day that you truly hate?
Or the fact that you face each day...not who you wish to be?
A creature, a beast, a thing...IT.
Someone unloved....hated.

The darkness, you only love it for the fact that it's a screen to hide behind...
And no one can see you cry.




</DIR>01-28-2010 at 11:28 AM.
If a wish alone were enough, we would have our own wonderland.




Twists and wrong turns, perhaps even wounds may rise…but live the life.
Keep working for the real moment that will come.

Forget the lies, that everything is against us, and continue on in life.
Live.
For the possibilities…For me?


02-11-2010 05:20 PM


<DIR>Drag me under, rape my mind.



Tear me to pieces, finding the things that move me.​


<DIR>Plaything, toy...your little distraction.



</DIR>I want this.
I want you.



Yet, with all this want...


<DIR>the corners of my mind shout and whine: its all lies.




</DIR>Its a lie
.​


The voice, it scares me.


...Its a lie.​






</DIR>
 
I love how you format your written works! The color scheme seems to fit with each thing, and the spacing and formatting really makes me think of either Modernism or Post-Modernism.... whichever on resulted in that one book that was published about streams of consciousness where the guy just wrote down his thoughts and went from one to another.

I love it!
 
xelas100 says:
*Puts therapist glasses and mustache on* Now, how are you feeling?

Corvus Corax says:
...I feel like dog shit...and not even the uniform kind..the kind where you look at it and your like: "WTF DO THEY FEED THIS DOG?"

xelas100 says:
As sad as that sounded, I couldn't help but laugh.
 
0.o

Seriously, Cor.....

WRITE A POEM OR STORY ABOUT SPRINKLER-SYSTEM NIPPLES!
 
Fragment

Just something I wrote when I was bored one day.


"Plck plck plurk," the water droplets were, by now, a deafening sound in her mind. "Plck plck plurk" ….her fingers kept time with each bead of water hitting home. It had been days since it had started. The leak in question was from the exposed pipe running across the ceiling of her room. "Plck plck plurk…WHAM!" Her hand shot out at the wall in a odd punch, hitting with the side of her fist instead of straight on. At this rate her eye twitch would be back in no time. "Plck," God how she wished she could rip the pipe down and gnaw on it. "Plck." Ok, the twitch, it was back. She pressed her finger into her eye, shaking her other hand out as she muttered curses. "JESUS-FUCK! Someone fix this damned thing," her request fell on deaf or otherwise occupied ears.

"GRRRR!"

Teeth clenched together she stood, slamming into the wall with her side, tearing at it with her stubbly nails. Pretty much chewed away and non existent, they didn't do any kind of satisfactory job in defacing the wall. Didn't stop her though! She clawed the wall as best she could, throwing her fit till she gave up and slumped back into her corner.

It was mocking her now, she knew it was.

"Plck plck plurk."

"FUCK! Why the hell is a exposed pipe going through my room any-damn-way," she was talking to no one. Her knees tucked into her chest as she toppled over, curling into the fetal position more when she hit the floor. "Breathe…just breathe…one…two…."

'Plurck."

"…..ha..haha….Ah-Hahahaha!" She laughed weakly at first, hugging her knees to her tighter. They grew louder with time, her body loosening up as she moved about to lay sprawled out on her back. Meds time soon, those would make her pass out and she wouldn't have to hear the damned leak. Thank heavens.

"Plurk."

….Twitch.
 
Corvus Corax says (12:22 PM):
 i had a dream that was a cross of doom and zelda :/
then a zerg crossed with a zora popped up, so...doom to zelda to starcraft.
Chris says (12:22 PM):
Jesus Fuck.
Corvus Corax says (12:22 PM):
HAHAHA
Chris says (12:22 PM):
I'd have shot it on sight.
Corvus Corax says (12:23 PM):
i think i tried but a person was GETTING IN MY WAY
Chris says (12:23 PM):
... who? D:
Corvus Corax says (12:23 PM):
i almost shot them...
i unno' who
Chris says (12:23 PM):
YOU SHOULD HAVE.
Fucker ruining your line of fire. D:
<DIR>
</DIR>
 
Dont. Press. The. Button.

My mind screams for the self destruct button to be pressed.

Do you swear?
Do you swear it?

Will I feel your arms, or just the fear that seems to be growing with each day.

I miss the illusion I made myself believe, the innocent daydream that now seems unobtainable.

I'm losing it: my reality, it wasn't stable to begin with.

Its a lie, get your defenses back, keep your head out of the clouds, he'll just hurt you in the end.​
​
I try to ignore the little voice whispering that things will turn sour, really...I swear I do.

I..
It...
Just...
...
The words get stuck, when all I want to say that it isn't so easy to ignore at times.
It likes to mess with me.

Used to be, I'd wish I would fall asleep and not wake up.
I dreaded facing a new day having nothing to offer...

Having nothing of value to contribute.

It all boils down to having basically no self worth.
Your fixing that, slowly and surely.

But...
My reality...

I'm afraid.​
​
 
Odd snippets, written God knows when:

~

I chose to ignore this.
Though plain as day;
My mind let it 'slip.'

~

Those five words, spoken in a flat monotone completely devoid of emotions, changed her life forever.
Those five words…will forever ring clear in her mind. Everything else said, each move made; It was like watching an old film: Something was lacking, it had faded with time.
With all she denied, the way his hand had grasped the gun after was forever engrained in her mind.
"I'm sorry, I never tried."

So was she.

~

Children, I think you are old enough to know that the monster in your closet is real. Your father was eaten by him. I suspect he gave him indigestion and possibly a bad case of food poisoning. SO. He's out to get you. Nothing personal kids, its just revenge.
 
More snippets from God knows when...



You and her
Her and me
Me and you

Situation critical,
this has gone overboard…


~



My brain capacity seems to be dwindling.
Is this clear, am I awake? …Are these words plain enough for you to grasp?
Jumbled mess.
Non compos mentis.

Im growing seemingly more violent by the day…
Irrational irrational irrational
It hurts to think…

~

After the after math…

Much- much after; The situation grew.
I thought I could withstand,
The small voice that cried;
You are broken
You are blind.
Try as I might (maybe I never did)
Your vision blurred, skewed.
I wish I could tell
The things I now regret
Piled high and dirty;
my thoughts wont separate
May I have one tell…
A single way to comprehend?
My confusion could be made simple..
With stripping it to its base form.
This could make sense
…If I'd allow it.

~
 
And more....

I'm just laying here…
Wishing.
For all the good it wont do me.
I still wish,
You'd touch me like you care.
I don't want to feel like that again…the way I did that night.
Used.
But that was him and this is you, and I'm afraid to ask if this is all it means.
Because,
What if I'm right…and all I am is back in that night.
A flash back into darker times.
His hands weren't so kind.

~


The way you look at things…its beautiful.
Beautifully ugly.
It makes my heart want to cry.
Your eyes, they seem to know. Everything.
They scare me when they land on me…
Because I don't want you to know.
 
The voices deception...Or... The lies we tell ourself

I'm on the edge, I cant step forward or back.
The scar that was left this time, it can't be found…it just cant be seen.
You didn't use a knife, you didn't steal a gun.
This was all a game, a cruel twist o' fate to make me hope again.
The voice inside, it cries with me at night and sometimes screams.
Why were you so stupid….
Why did you trust again?
You knew the outcome, it was whispered in your soul.
You doubted it? Just as you doubt yourself?

You were right, you are not worthy.

Now, stupid girl….
because you allowed yourself to love as pure as can be….you've been able to lose:
…the most anyone ever could.
 
My child, my little one.

3/5/2012

Even though I shall never hold you, you are a part of me.

...a part of me forever, my heart beating for the both of us.

I'll never forget you no matter how time passes, this I swear.

I love you... My little one.


_____________

This is hard to post. Respect it, please.
 
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