U
U.N. 0W3N
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Original poster
Gotcha. Alright, I'll fix it up, then.@neobendium
I do have some problems with Moriah.
For her power, the idea that "concentration" seems like a big weakness (besides time of day and need for shadowed areas) doesn't work for me. The other two weaknesses works at the very least. Second, because of her situation (and how the world works), how did she get that "strong" with her powers? Like, based on her history, she ran away from home just a year ago. So, where did she get the time, privacy, and help (unless it was through super trial and error) to be able to effectively use her powers offensively when her focus, at the time, is secure a job and housing? And, there's a contridictory with your power in regards to the tendril. If it's "knife-like," then you mention it having a hard time getting into armor and what not.
And, what's her motivation behind deciding to become a vigilante when she's trying to support herself? As someone that's still a minor, has a full time job (assuming that and putting aside some realistic standard aka I'm not sure if she's still in school or is in a GED progam to get it or not focusing on that at all) AND wants to save the city, how does she fit the time to do it?
I do like some things about Moriah, but she has a lot of things that needs to be worked out, clarified, and refined. At this point, I can't accept Moriah in the thread. You're free to work on her and what not and resubmit her in. If you want examples of what I'm looking in a profile, there's two more examples already accepted in the thread and can be found in the roster post in the OOC.
Is it at all possible for me to edit once more and resubmit, or is that it? I apologize for the concentration weakness- I didn't realize you wanted it taken out completely.@neobendium
The addition of the weakness in terms of her outfit doesn't make sense to me. And, I still don't like the weakness being concentration. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to decline this profile.
Ah. Well. That's disappointing. The second application was mostly for a review anyway, and to see if there were any additional concerns. I will admit that I don't quite understand the reasoning behind refusing it for something as trivial as one minor weakness listed in a sea of much stronger weaknesses, unless there was something bigger you didn't tell me about. But, I suppose I can't argue. Best of luck with your roleplay.@neobendium
Sadly, I usually stick with giving characters a second chance when it comes to their profile when there's potential in a character. So, with that, thanks for applying for the thread!