I Want to Face...

Wyn thought about their options. It made sense to let Oliver go on his own. He was a bit more of a delinquent in that respect. Wyn played around with the idea of giving Oliver his combination. He could always get another combination lock if he felt it necessary. They were close enough to the school that Wyn felt they'd be fine sneaking in, but just as he thought that, a teacher rounded the corner and lingered for a bit. The teacher was watching for students ditching class. Another thing they had to consider was that most doors were locked during school hours from the inside, meaning that people could get out, but not back in. Wyn wondered if Oliver had some insight to which doors were locked and which weren't. Wyn turned to Oliver, "Fine. It's probably better. My locker is #33 near the science wing. Combination 10-1-33." A fun fact was that the first two digits of his combination was his birthday, another thing he kept secret. Wyn secretly hated celebrations.

Wyn's locker was in a rather secluded area of the school since he was given a locker after everyone else. The science wing was a long corridor that had several classrooms and utility closest as well as an edition that was very secluded. Inside of Wyn's locker was his backpack and nothing else. He kept a very simple locker because he wasn't good at decorating, but also he had nothing to decorate it with. While Wyn's locker was simple, his backpack wasn't so. A durable small, dark blue hiking bag, Wyn's backpack looked pretty normal on the outside, but inside it had a ton of pockets and compartments. In the main compartment was his straps and the rigging that went along with it. Also in that pocket are two 2L bottles of water that he normally went through during a good training session. In the second main compartment were his school books. In a smaller side pocket was a change of clothes and a plastic bag for dirty clothes. In other miscellaneous pockets were school supplies, extra underwear, rigging tools, and a few personal care items (deodorant, hand sanitizer, etc.). In all, Wyn's backpack was probably close to 25lbs or 12kg.

Wyn watched Oliver disappear into the school. He watched carefully from a safe distance as he watched the time. His biggest fear was that Oliver would get caught and the school would look through his backpack. They could potentially confiscate his backpack which would kill him. Another problem was that Oliver would look through his backpack. Having to explain what things were without mentioning circus was difficult. Wyn sat quietly as he waited for Oliver to return.
 
Oliver was happy Wyn gave him the combination because it just made things a lot easier. As he started to walk up to the school, heading towards the science wing, but trying to keep out of sight from teachers, he brought out his phone and dialled a number he hadn't called in ages.

"Oliver?" Davíd answered almost immediately, his voice was hushed as he was in class.
"You have science now right?" Oliver inquired, as if he had never stopped talking to his friend.
"What? I... Yeah?"
"Cool, can you ask for a hall pass and come let me in?"
"What the hell are you--"
"Just hurry," Oliver then hung up and headed over to the doors Davíd would come open. He hadn't said he would do so but Oliver knew him well enough to know that he would. A couple of minutes later the doors were opened revealing Davíd, a short guy with tan skin, dark curls and usually a friendly smile but now a puzzled expression.

"thanks, man," Oliver said and walked straight past his confused friend, who quickly followed.
"What are you doing? Are you okay?" Davíd asked. Of course, he asked if he was okay. As if he didn't know the answer was no, Oliver hated it, he hated being asked that and he hated replying to it so he ignored it.
"I'm getting something," he said instead, steering his steps towards locker #33.
"That's not your locker,"
"I know," he said as he opened the lock. Wyn's locker was empty save for his backpack. Oliver's was as messy as his room, but he had long since taken down all the pictures he used to keep in it. It was kind of weird do know he was leaving the locker completely empty though. But he didn't really have time to reflect on it so he just hauled the bag on top of his shoulder. It was heavy and he wondered how Wyn had.
"are you stealing it?"
"why the fuck would I steal someone's backpack?" Oliver laughed, not even offended at the assumption.
"Dude, I don't kno-- oh shit. Teacher."

Oliver's head snapped around to where Davíd was looking and saw that there indeed was a teacher with a suspicious expression on their face walking up to them. Davíd had a hallpass so he would probably be fine. Oliver did not and there was no point in staying and trying to lie in order to not look suspicious so Oliver simply said, "cover for me," as he closed the locker, turned around and bolted. Since he was in a hurry now though there was no way he wasn't going to be spotted by anyone out in the yard or by the doors so he just kept running, hoping for the best until he was back with Wyn. He didn't stop though, he just grabbed him by the wrist and continued down the street, took a turn in amongst some buildings and then finally stopped.

He held Wyn's bag for him and leaned against the closest wall as he let out a couple of wheezing coughs, "geez," he said and let out a chuckle at his own shitty cardio. He ran his finger through his head of messy hair, and tried to catch his breath then almost impulsively reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and fished out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Something about feeling like he had just run a marathon, even if it, in reality, wasn't more than a block, and the cold air made him made him want to smoke. Or maybe it was the talking with Davíd, wither way he lit it, took a drag before looking at Wyn, "that bag better be worth it, I haven't run that much in months. I'm morally opposed to running."
 
Wyn wasn't expecting Oliver to grab his wrist, but he didn't argue. As he kept up with Oliver, he wondered what was going on. When they stopped, Wyn took his backpack with ease and put it on his back as if it weighed nothing. "Um...if you're out of breath, why take a drag now?" Wyn was used to people smoking, most of the crew members who weren't performers smoked. Hell, some performers smoked like crazy too. The fact that Oliver smoked wasn't that unusual, but the fact he thought that a smoke now was a good idea...that was unusual. Wyn thought about Oliver's comment about his bag. He decided that since he was letting Oliver in on his secret he might as well know what was in his bag.

"I keep everything I need for the gym in here including the rigging for my straps and water for the gym," Wyn explained as he let Oliver catch his breath. They ran about a block which wasn't that far from the school, but Wyn felt safe. He looked at Oliver and actually smiled. It was strange how a guy who annoyed him so much was actually turning out to be a good resource. "Let's go to the gym. I texted Joe that we'd be on our way so he won't hassle you...but in the future, you might want to consider a gym membership. Who knows you might come to really like it," Wyn stated as he started in the direction of the gym.

The cool fall air felt nice against Wyn's face. He liked the weather in West Virginia. It was pleasant this time of year. On the way to the gym, Wyn texted Lauren, 'Hey, I had a bad day. I'm heading to the gym. I need to clear my head a bit.' For the most part, Lauren was good about this stuff. She understood that he had some problems after the incident and was still dealing with a lot of emotions and thoughts. Wyn knew that Lauren wouldn't be upset with him skipping as long as he didn't make it a habit. She was working now, so she'd probably not respond until they got to the gym.

Wyn walked to the gym with Oliver in tow. He didn't really want to talk much because he wasn't ready to confront his breakdown. Now he felt good and with his mind on the gym, Wyn was ready to face the world. Wyn turned to Oliver and said, "I'm going to do a sudoku as we walk. You can talk to me. I'll respond." Wyn pulled out the little book from a size pocket. Attached to the cover was a purple pen. Wyn opened to a random page and began to fill in numbers as they walked. This would occupy Wyn until they got to the gym.
 
Oliver just let out a small laugh and a cough and shrugged at Wyn questioning why he started smoking while out of breath. The question 'are you okay?' was still swirling around in his head though. It was probably the reason. It was kind of a quiet way of saying 'no I'm not' to the friend he had left behind in school. Wyn wouldn't get to know that though and they began their walk towards the gym.

As they walked Oliver occasionally let out another cough, it probably looked like he wasn't used to smoking, he was he didn't smoke a pack a day or anything but he smoked a couple most days, it was just the running and the smoking right afterwards that was causing it. But he kind of liked it obviously wasn't a smart decision. Alexander hated smoking. Oliver had almost stopped by the end and then taken it up again immediately after. In a way, it almost felt like revenge. He couldn't ever do or say anything to Alexander to make him feel how he had made him feel by leaving, but he could fuck up his own health knowing that Alexander would have hated it. He also just kind of liked the poetics of slowly killing himself with the thing his dead boyfriend hated.

"I'd rather have Joe be pissed at me for coming than buy a gym membership," Oliver picked that topic up, testing the waters to see if Wyn really would reply while also looking at him solving his puzzle with curiosity, "It's out of principle. I have a bad boy image to uphold, I'm too busy leaning against walls while smoking and writing crude shit in bathroom stalls to go to the gym, someone might see me and think I'm a total hypocrite,"

He was making fun of himself, he could be pretty self-aware when he wanted to, which wasn't always. Most days he kind of liked just being grumpy and curse conformity. Other days he enjoyed seeing the Irony in the stereotypes he filled himself.
 
Wyn heard every word and replied as he filled in a few more numbers, "well image is important. Wouldn't want someone to think poorly of you, especially if you can't uphold your own image." Wyn finished a puzzle and immediately went on to another. He unconsciously turned at different streets. The way to the gym was ingrained in his being, which made doing puzzles much easier. Wyn made a few more turns before they reached the gym. It was open, but again, not many people were there. Since they got there even earlier than last time, less people were working out. Wyn walked into the gym like nothing unusual. He knew Joe was suspecting something, since Wyn should be in school, Wyn played it off like it was nothing.

He allowed Oliver to follow him into the locker room where he pulled out a combination lock form his backpack and claimed a locker. His drawstring bag held the important items that he'd need in the gym while the rest of his bookbag was relegated to the locker. Wyn pulled out his change of clothes and began to strip. As if Oliver wasn't there, Wyn changed into his workout clothes, but decided to bring his sweat shirt just in case he had a cool down period. Since he planned on being in the gym for a good amount of time, Wyn needed to stay warm. Once he was changed, Wyn nodded to Oliver as if to say 'follow me, mon cherie'. Out on the floor, Wyn proceeded to rig his straps like usual. The rigging was recently fixed, so Wyn did a few safety precautions that he normally didn't before putting weight on the apparatus.

Once everything was set up, Wyn put on some softer music and began to warm up. "You can do whatever you want. There's not many people here so if you want to take off your shoes and relax, feel free. I'm in a pretty good mood, so if you want to talk to me go ahead, but just know, I'm not obligated to answer any questions," Wyn stated as he started doing a set of pull-ups then muscle-ups.
 
Oliver honestly never thought he could set his foot back in this gym again, not only because Wyn had forbidden him but because he basically had broken into it. But he still got pulled along into the changing rooms once again. It was so weird. Wyn seemed so nervous and secretive yet he just dragged Oliver along into the changing room and stripped down to his underwear without a second thought. It was such an odd combination Oliver just figured it had to mean Wyn was just used to changing in front of people. Maybe it was years of going to the gym, maybe it was an acrobatics thing? Did they put on acrobatics performances that they did dance rehearsals? Oliver had been backstage at Octavia's dance rehearsals when he was younger and there were just rooms full of dancers changing and practising without a care in the world.

Or maybe he was just reading into it too much and it was just as simple as Wyn being very comfortable with his body. Which he should be. Oliver felt guilty for checking him out, more for Alex's sake than Wyn's, but Wyn really had an undeniably good looking body.

Before he could creep too much though Wyn was dressed again and they were back in the actual gym. Oliver watched curiously as Wyn set up his strappy rope things and then moved on to warm up. It was almost ridiculous how strong Wyn had to be and it was fascinating to watch him us that strength. Especially since he didn't look that strong thanks to his bulky sweatshirts.

Oliver did as Wyn had suggested and kicked on his shoes and shrugged off his jacket so he wouldn't die from heat, seeing as he was wearing a hoodie underneath anyway. As he did he reflected a little over Wyn claiming he wasn't obligated to answer any questions. Which meant there were questions Oliver could ask that Wyn wouldn't want to answer. That was interesting but also frustrating.

"I don't think I could do a single pull-up," he started, still keeping his gazed locked on wyn as he did his thing, "I can barely even do push-ups, like I think I could manage maybe fifteen on my knees. But you're obviously really strong, how many can you do? ... Or is that private information," he cocked an eyebrow and kept an amused smile on his face. He wasn't trying to ruin Wyn's 'good mood' just question why he was being so secretive without actually doing so.
 
Wyn continued his warm up as he replied, "I don't know. I haven't counted recently. Usually, I just do 15 pull ups and 10 muscle ups." His tone was very even as if he didn't think it was a big deal. For him it wasn't. Wyn grew up in a space where everyone was physically active and extraordinary in their own right. He knew there were people who weren't physically active like him or his friends, but he never really gave it a second thought. Glancing at Oliver, Wyn realized that he was being a bit rude. "It just takes time and practice. You start with negatives and then work up to it. If you want, I'll show you one day," Wyn added. He wondered what Oliver's life was like. From what he watched, Wyn knew that many kids played sports growing up or had other hobbies, but they usually 'grew out' of them.

When he was finished with his warm up, Wyn walked over to Oliver and picked up a water bottle. After taking a big gulp from it, he took out a small notebook from his backpack and flipped through to the last page with words on it. He examined it before placing it open on the floor. The page had terms and arrows and a lot of strange words scribbled on it. To Wyn, the notes were easy to read and follow.
Warm up. Training - flags, side planche, meathooks, transitions, roll-ups, arabesque roll-ups. Sequences - flare to reverse meat hook, Switch. splits. Side beats, J-swing.
​
Wyn liked to keep a journal to jot down notes as well as keep a record of things he needs to work on. Walking back over to the apparatus, Wyn looked to Oliver and asked, "So do you do any activities?" Wyn could try to drown Oliver out, but seeing that they had a few hours to kill at the gym Wyn decided to try to make small talk. At the least, it would make the time go faster.
 
Wyn finished his warm-ups, it seemed so weirdly effortless for him. Oliver was almost a little jealous, at this point he really didn't have the patience to build any type of muscle. But in all honesty, it felt kind of pointless, not for Wyn but for himself. A lot of things felt so pointless lately, hence why he tended to go home and just do nothing. But in a way, he almost preferred the mild depression over being stable and finding the motivation to do things, because being happy almost made him guilty.

"Activities? Like sports and shit?" Oliver asked, curiously opening up the notebook Wyn had just written into the most recent page to find a bunch of bullshit he barely understood but figured had to do with what he was doing. He put it down right away so Wyn couldn't get mad about him prying, "I don't. Octavia is the athletic twin, 'I'm the creative one - or fucked up one, take your pick," he let out a small chuckle.

"really, I never did any sports growing up, my parents tried to get me to do it, but yeah, I was more of a sit indoors and read draw or write kind of guy," Oliver explained casually as he sat down so he could watch Wyn more comfortably. Clearly, he didn't mind sharing things about himself. Or well, there were things he wouldn't share of course, but just like the rest of the people in his family he had a bit of an ego, "took I couple of classes for the bass guitar when I first started out with that though, if that counts. I doubt my parents would say it counts as much as doing a sport, but they're kind of assholes sometimes,"

It wasn't like they actually did compare it a lot, but the problem was that they always tried to push him to exercise because it'd be good for him. And they weren't talking physically, but mentally, because his therapist had said it could help way back. It probably wasn't technically untrue, but he honestly felt like his parents nagging him was doing more damage than the sporting would help with. Plus it wouldn't help now. Going out running, or whatever, couldn't bring people back from the dead.

"What got you into this stuff anyway? " he asked, deciding he had had enough talking about himself for now. And he was curious, this wasn't the kind of sport, if it counted as a sport, Oliver wasn't sure, that people just got in to, there had to be more of a story behind it.
 
Wyn thought a bit as he continued to train. "I tried a lot of things when I was young. This was the thing that stuck," Wyn explained as he thought about his childhood. There was no question that Wyn would be a circus performer, but he was allowed to try anything and everything, same thing for Megyn and Hunter. He dabbled in floor acrobatics, juggling, equilibristics, etc. In the end aerials stuck and Wyn found himself in straps. While almost every circus kid had access to every circus skill, most picked up their parents' skill. Wyn was the child of two aerialists and he became an aerialist. Megyn was the child of a juggler and a clown. She became a juggler and a clown. In a way each child was groomed to take up the skill of their parents.

"You'd be surprised what people get into. You're never too old to try something," Wyn's comment wasn't to encourage, rather it was a simple statement. He knew a few people who got into circus at an older age and became amazing performers. His mother was one of them. Originally she was a dancer. She went to college initially, but fell in love with circus and met Michael.

By now, Wyn worked up quite a sweat. He took a seat near Oliver and took a drink from the water bottle. He was breathing a bit heavier now and his skin glistened with a thin coat of sweat. Wyn let his head tilt to the right slightly as he thought about a few things. It was strange. When Wyn was with Oliver he didn't really think a lot about what was wrong with him and what happened. Wyn was able to live in the moment when he was with Oliver. It felt nice.

"But being creative has its advantages. I was never good at drawing or music. Never had the patience to put energy or time into it," Wyn explained as he thought back to the long days training and putting a routine together, show days, prep days, and everything that went into being a performer. A lot of his time went into the circus and if not it went to school work. There wasn't much time to do anything else. He played with the other kids an performers, but that tied into training. Wyn and Hunter would see who could hold a handstand the longest. Wyn would drop props down to Megyn from a trapeze while she threw a prop up to him. Their playing was a form of training whether they realised it or not.
 
Wyn came to sit down next to Oliver as he took a break and suddenly liver was more aware of Wyn himself rather than what he was doing. The way he looked, which was good, as his skin was glistening with sweat and with cheeks just a little flushed from the exercising. He also seemed just more relaxed in general. Oliver had so far gotten the impression was a pretty nervous person, a little paranoid even, but he supposed most people felt relaxed and good when they did something they liked. Looking relaxed and at home suited Wyn.

Unlike in the dressing room Oliver averted his eyes. It felt less like satisfying a curiosity now and more just like looking at someone attractive. He knew that wasn't a crime, it didn't mean anything, he could look at a girl and know she was attractive, he could recognize that a friend like Davíd was cute, and same with Wyn. Yet nowadays when he looked at someone like that he couldn't help but feel guilty, even when he had no intentions or interest in the person.

"I mean I'd think what you do, sorry I literally don't know what it's called, is kind of creative," he said, looking more att he equipment than Wyn, "like what I saw the other day was clearly choreographed, so it's kind of like dance, and dance is art, so this would be art as well?" Even if it was something he wasn't into personally Oliver appreciated creative processes, and he had grown up with a sister who was into dance though it was now more channelled into cheerleading which Oliver didn't like as much, but he very much saw how dance was both a sport and art.
 
Wyn didn't notice Oliver staring at him, but he did feel a lot more relaxed. Being able to release some of the pent up emotions and energy felt amazing and Wyn was able to breathe easily again. "I guess it's an art form in itself, but it's not the same as drawing or writing. Those are much more creative. On aerial straps you're a bit more confined with what you can do just by the nature of the apparatus and the limits of the human body," Wyn explained as he stared at the straps hanging from the ceiling. Wyn allowed himself to relax and feel good for once, which was rare. His body language changed slightly as he felt himself breathe.

"I'm going to take a bit of a break. Wanna run around the corner and grab something to eat? We missed lunch so I'm starving," Wyn explained as he put on his sweatshirt. "There's a small strip mall not far with a few places to grab something light." Wyn stood and started putting on his shoes. He slipped them on one at a time and moved side to side a bit. Then he picked up his drawstring and starting putting his stuff back into it. He'd run to the locker quickly to grab his wallet and put his speaker and water bottles away before going to the strip mall.

Wyn waited for Oliver to get ready before heading to the locker room, "You can wait outside if you want. I'm just going to grab my wallet and put this stuff away." It felt nice to have a simple conversation like this with someone. Wyn felt at ease as he talked to Oliver. There was something about the other boy that made Wyn relax. Maybe it was the way Oliver carried himself or the way he portrayed himself. Whatever it was, Wyn was happy for a moment. Wyn appeared from the locker room with his wallet and phone shoved into a pocket. Then he found Oliver waiting for him outside of the locker room.
 
It was an almost eery feeling to stand to wait for Wyn as he put away his things. The gym was almost empty but that wasn't it, it was the fact that Oliver did his utmost to not speak to people anymore. He didn't want to talk to his friends because one person in their group was missing. He didn't want to speak to Octavia because she had only used Alexander's death for sympathy points. He didn't want to talk to his parents because their solution to it all was just 'take your meds, go to therapy, don't smoke.' Wyn was the first person he really hung out with just for the sake of hanging out in a really long while, and the way the empty heaviness fell over him as he waited the minute or two for Wyn to come out made him kind of realise that.

He also realised that he didn't mind hanging out with Wyn. He had gladly accepted going to grab something to eat with him when it could have been an opportunity to go home so he could just lay down in bed and do nothing again. And he knew exactly why he liked hanging out with Wyn. Wyn never knew him. He didn't even know he existed. He was separate from him. The way he avoided eye contact reminded him of him, but that was Oliver's own problem, it actually didn't have anything to do with Wyn. Wyn was his own person. And so far he was a person who was fun to hang out with.

Wyn came back out and the two stated the short walk towards the mall, "I was almost a little disappointed I didn't get to join you in the locker room again," Oliver said with a heavy sigh, he was joking at least in the sense he was talking about it now, "But maybe that's saved for when you're changing only," He wiggled his eyebrows in a comical way, so Wyn would actually know he was joking. Oliver was always a very forward person, even when he wasn't doing well, and he joked about things like that, but he knew not everyone appreciated it so he was just kind of testing the waters, because after the realisation he had had the gym he had also realised that he kind of wanted to continue being friends with Wyn. It would be one relationship he had that did not have anything to do with Alexander, and he felt like he needed that.
 
Wyn actually didn't realize that the only times Oliver was in the locker rooms was when he changed. With this realization, Wyn blushed slightly. He felt a bit stupid after Oliver mentioned the strange situation. "Oh, I'm sorry," Wyn stated automatically. He wasn't sure what he was sorry about, but it felt right to apologize. In a way, it was somewhat cute to see Wyn fluster a bit. Wyn turned away from Oliver for a moment as he tried to compose himself. There were so many times growing up that everyone was in the changing rooms and no one cared so Wyn thought it was normal. Giving Oliver a bashful smile, Wyn stated, "I didn't realize. You don't have to go into the locker room with me." He wasn't sure what to say next. It felt like things were weird all of a sudden, especially since Wyn wasn't sure of Oliver's sexuality.

Despite being in the circus, Wyn had a horrible gay-dar. When Megyn came out he was shocked, but it seemed that everyone else already assumed. After discovering a bit about himself, Wyn decided that he'd classify himself as bisexual since he found both men and women attractive. While never in a serious relationship, Wyn had experimented a bit, but he wasn't really sure how he fit into his sexuality or a relationship. He liked to think himself a more dominant person in bed, but in reality he was too inexperienced to know.

"It's just up ahead. At the next street we'll turn right and the mall is right there," Wyn explained as he pointed to the upcoming turn. The strip mall contained 9 different shops. It was a small space, but it fit a lot. There was a laundromat, a fabric store (for sewing), an electronics shop, and several places to eat. Wyn normally chose to grab something mildly healthy at the deli, but couldn't resist getting a side of fries. He always argued that his activities burned off enough calories to allow him to eat some junk.
 
They got to the little strip mall and got their food. Oliver, of course, got the most unhealthy things he could find, when in doubt just go with both pizza and fries. He was pretty sure it was just a matter of time before he couldn't get away with it anymore. The fact that he had been growing lengthwise constantly for the past couple of years was a blessing, but soon enough he wouldn't be a 'growing boy' anymore and would probably need to start watch his diet.

But that was a problem for future him and the way he saw it he couldn't even imagine himself having a future. So it didn't matter.

"The locker room thing was a joke, don't worry about it," Oliver clarified as they sat down, he said it casually but he felt a little bad for making Wyn so flustered, even though it had been pretty funny, "Besides, as much as I'm not planning on acquiring any of my own, because you know I have an image to uphold, I don't mind muscle on other people,"

It kind of hit him then that it was entirely possible that it was just the fact that it was another guy that pointed this kind of things out that made him uncomfortable. He should know by now, they lived in a fairly accepting place but close enough to the south to come across intolerant people more often than Oliver would have liked. He just felt like he kind of screamed at least 'not-heterosexual' if not 'gay' so he had assumed Wyn didn't mind. He really hoped he didn't mind at least, but decided it was better to maybe move on from the subject for now.

"I could totally see you getting a girlfriend the moment it's too warm to wear sweaters. You know given that you actually hang out with people at school, I don't think I've really seen you do that," Oliver said and there some fries in his mouth. There was no shame in that, he didn't hang out with people either, "but I guess maybe you have friends at your old school?"
 
"Muscle is useful for some things, like the zombie apocalypse," Wyn joked a bit as he looked at Oliver eating fries. There was something really funny about Oliver eating fries. Maybe it was the way Oliver seemed like a child or that his usual edge disappeared when he had a fry in his mouth. Wyn gave a small chuckle before turning back to look off into the distance. "I don't really want a girlfriend," Wyn stated as he shook his head slightly. Wyn was honestly afraid of relatinoships and forming new ones. The thought of the responsibility of a relationship was something that he didn't want to think about. Not only that, but Wyn wasn't good with people yet. His ability to make real connections with others was also hindering his ability to attract a significant other.

"I have a few friends that I still talk to from my old school, but they have their own lives that don't involve me. Sometimes it feels like they forgot me and moved on," Wyn stated getting quiet afterwards. He finished his tuna sandwich and crumpled up the wrapper. Wyn missed his friends, but he couldn't watch their lives and sit on the sidelines. It was painful to watch them because it reminded him of the life he left behind...the family he left behind. Wyn desperately wanted to go back to the life he had, but he also knew that was impossible.

Wyn didn't really notice Oliver's semi-obvious 'non-heterosexual' vibe. Being surrounded by circus people all his life, he wasn't sure what exactly defined an action or mannerism as 'gay'. Many people in the circus were part of the LGBT+ community. At the same time, many had outrageous personalities to begin with. Most any acrobat could appreciate someone's body despite their sexuality. Wyn was taught to appreciate a person's body and the time spent to build the muscle and control over their body. To Wyn, Oliver seemed like just another person. Nothing screamed 'gay' to Wyn, but at the same time Wyn wouldn't be surprised. Sexuality was never a big deal for Wyn and never would be.
 
'I don't want a girlfriend' Oliver wondered what that meant. If it was him hinting at his sexuality or if it was just that he genuinely wasn't looking to date people right now. Honestly the latter would make sense, if he just moved school and barely had any friends here then that wouldn't really be the first priority. At the end of the day though it didn't really matter though so Oliver let it go and focused more on the whole friend thing.

Wyn was clearly sad about the fact that he felt left out from his own friends. Which was kind of the opposite of Oliver's situation. He felt like he couldn't be with his friends and avoided them. Both because it felt too much like something was missing and because he couldn't deal with people treating him differently now. Which was why hanging out with Wyn was so nice, nothing was missing and to him he was fine. For all Wyn knew nothing had happened and Alexander had never even existed.

"Well that's kind of shitty of them if they have forgotten and moved on," Oliver said as he finished his fries and went on to one of the two slices of pizza he had gotten, he rolled it up and ate it that way which was faster, and just the way he usually ate pizza, "But like, I'm sure they haven't, you seem like I good guy, so it might just be that you feel separated from them when you're not with them. Maybe you can ask your mom to drive you so you can visit them or something,"
 
"Yeah, maybe," Wyn stated as his mind drifted away. There was no way Lauren would let him visit the circus on his own and she was swamped so she couldn't go. The whole situation was a big mess. "What about you? You must have friends you hang out with," Wyn added trying to get the conversation away from himself. In a way, Wyn wanted to know more about Oliver. He knew a little bit, but decided that he wanted to integrate himself in Oliver's life a little more. If anything, Wyn wanted friends. As far as Wyn knew, Oliver lived his entire life in this area and was sure to have some friends even if Oliver didn't actively hang out with them all of the time.

Wyn nibbled on his fries, but knew he'd never finish them. Despite his active lifestyle, Wyn didn't eat that much. For him food was just a source of energy and not much more. He didn't really think much of food in terms of flavor and quality. Then again, Wyn's never really been to a fancy restaurant. The fanciest thing he's been to was an Oliver Garden with Lauren when he first moved in. It was nice, but Wyn didn't really think much of the food. In movies, Wyn saw what really fancy restaurants, but they always seemed made up. Wyn never understood the concept of fancy eating.

Wyn left almost half of his fries untouched as he wrapped them up. "I'm not going to finish these so if you want them help yourself," Wyn stated as he placed the fries on the table between them. Looking into the distance, Wyn grew quiet as his thoughts grew louder. Wyn wasn't ready for group therapy tomorrow. There was too much going on with his past, present, and future and Wyn wasn't prepared to confront it.
 
"Don't mind if I do," Oliver shrugged and happily dug into the fries. He felt kind of a slight shift in mood from Wyn now, he seemed a little more distant. Maybe the whole topic of friends had put him down a little. That hadn't been Oliver's intention, but often he spoke first and thought later, which tended to cause him to hurt people's feelings sometimes, both directly and indirectly as he might have done now.

"I have a couple of friends around school sure, but I don't really hang out with anyone," he technically wasn't lying, he did have friends he didn't hang out with all that often, or rather not at all now. But he was clearly painting a picture of 'I'm just not that close to anyone' when that actually wasn't true at all. His old little gang had been pretty tight-knit, all of them, "You know, my image and all," he joked as if that was a totally valid reason not to have friends, it seemed like it was going to be his joking excuse.

He finished his pizza and grabbed the last couple of Wyn's fries, "oh and let's not forget you of course, we have shared fries, if that's not a true testament of friendship I don't know what is," Oliver said this in a joking tone, he wasn't even sure if Wyn actually liked him or if he was just standing him because he knew about his visits to the gym and their project or whatever.
 
Fries marking friendship...Wyn never thought of that. Sharing food was something he normally did, especially with Hunter who was a bottomless black hole. At times Hunter took fries and other food from Wyn without asking. It was something that Wyn stopped getting upset about since he knew he'd never finish the food anyways. "I never finish my meal so feel free to pick at whatever you want," Wyn added absentmindedly.

Wyn wondered what type of people Oliver hung out with. Oliver seemed to be a hard person to get close to so he couldn't imagine Oliver's friends being much different. But then again, Wyn was rather different than Oliver and the two seemed to get along well. Wyn wasn't entirely sure what Oliver meant by 'image'. The concept of a school hierarchy was still somewhat foreign to him and he wasn't sure where Oliver fit in or him.

Wyn was trying to understand what Oliver meant by friends now. If friends meant someone who Oliver didn't hang around in school, Wyn wasn't sure if he wanted that. To be honest, Wyn wanted to have a friend group like he did growing up. He wanted people to spend time with and share interests. While he didn't actively say it, Wyn was lonely.
 
"Well then it's decided," Oliver said in a chipper tone, "I'm having all meals with you from now on, I like extra food," he wasn't sure what he was saying, or what he was getting himself into but as usual he wasn't really thinking things through, "At least school lunches, they are boring to eat by yourself anyway,"

He stood and motioned for Wyn to come with. Having lunches together would be kind of weird, it had kind of been a joke but Oliver had a feeling that it was maybe something he wanted. To spend more time with Wyn. To spend less time thinking about the past and more time thinking about having fun conversations and getting to know someone new. It would make Wun less of an in the moment distraction and more something different than what his life had been for the last couple of months, without going back to what it had been before Alex left, only without Alex.

"I'm guessing you're heading back to the gym after this?" Oliver said, casually. Talking about what they were doing next was more casual than talking about things like who they were friends with and if they were friends wasn't really casual and somehow it felt like it had put a bit of a damper on the mood. Oliver didn't like to think about his friends because it reminded him of the past. And as it seemed it caused Wyn to worry about his friends forgetting him or something.
 
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