F
Frostbitten Chipmunk
Guest
Original poster
I don't really care if anyone I RP with or Skype with or whatever sees this but:
I really really miss the old days.
Back when I knew who I could trust and who I loved and just. I'm sure you get the picture. And now I feel more than ever that the lack of anyone like that is destroying my motivation to do anything, especially art. My average day is basically RPing smut and/or listening to drama and/or playing games until I just flop in bed and hope for tomorrow to be better. The few times I have been drawing a month are 80% instant scraps because they just look off on every way. No one so much as tries to motivate me to draw anymore, and as any artist can tell you, it isn't exactly a good thing when this happens. Especially not when my art gets no notes - literally none.
As you can possibly gather from my rant, I'm single. Same issue with my past relationships of the past three years. It felt like I was constantly giving and getting nothing in return, and now I'm just ready to completely give up. I could easily write myself out of my one RP, swear off of it and art for good, and chip off every tie I have to the internet. And the worst part is that I feel like no one would even care. Like they'd just move on 'cos there's nothing important or memorable about me. I don't know I can't think clearly. I haven't been able to for years.
And please for the love of any deity you believe in do not tell me it will get better or that it's just a phase or I need therapy/something similar.
I really really miss the old days.
Back when I knew who I could trust and who I loved and just. I'm sure you get the picture. And now I feel more than ever that the lack of anyone like that is destroying my motivation to do anything, especially art. My average day is basically RPing smut and/or listening to drama and/or playing games until I just flop in bed and hope for tomorrow to be better. The few times I have been drawing a month are 80% instant scraps because they just look off on every way. No one so much as tries to motivate me to draw anymore, and as any artist can tell you, it isn't exactly a good thing when this happens. Especially not when my art gets no notes - literally none.
As you can possibly gather from my rant, I'm single. Same issue with my past relationships of the past three years. It felt like I was constantly giving and getting nothing in return, and now I'm just ready to completely give up. I could easily write myself out of my one RP, swear off of it and art for good, and chip off every tie I have to the internet. And the worst part is that I feel like no one would even care. Like they'd just move on 'cos there's nothing important or memorable about me. I don't know I can't think clearly. I haven't been able to for years.
And please for the love of any deity you believe in do not tell me it will get better or that it's just a phase or I need therapy/something similar.