How to impress a girl

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Show off your literary prowess by citing the genius of #aynrand: Perhaps the reason men enjoy better social standing than women is that they're just intrinsically better!
 
Ignore her completely until you have nothing better to do, and then only pay attention to her to get her to sleep with you. Once you're done, go back to ignoring her.
 
Pee on her to assert your dominance
 
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-Insert correct number-: Always compare her to your ex's. If you don't have one, keep compare her to her 'much hotter' best friend.
 
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Whenever she refuses to make you a sandwich, for the next week, if she and you are in public and/or around her friends, excessively talk about how much of a slut she is and that she has drunk the legendary Juices of a Thousand Men.
 
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Compliment her style and always be a gentleman. And also hold her hands if your going to a haunted house or something like it
 
Brother Gabriel said:
Compliment her style and always be a gentleman. And also hold her hands if your going to a haunted house or something like it
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I don't think this one gets it ;P
 
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Well damn. At least I know what to call my band.
 
When you see her in the halls push her down the be like damn girl almost fucked up my swag then walk away cause she'll follow to apologize
 
Girlfriend pregnant? Don't want a kid? No problem! Why bother talking about what decisions you're both going to take, when you can just...

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When she talks about the women she cant stand, consistently defend them and tell her to stop being a jealous skank and that she should strive to be more like them.

OR

If she speaks, tell her that you only like her mouth open if shes gonna give you fellatio.
 
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