Forging New Paths

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Luca sat looking at his knees with something clearly tormented in his expression, but his grip on Garrett's hand was tight. If he let go, his Shadow would come back and nothing would be safe again. It took him a full minute to finally start trying to get to his feet, and Evelyn had to free a hand to help Garrett get him up when his legs wouldn't hold him. The way he shuffled more than he walked as Garrett guided him away was far from reassuring, but recovery would take time.

In the bathroom Luca was very still again, his hand tense in Garrett's. He did, after a long pause to comprehend, use his free hand to touch the stream of water, but still wouldn't let go. He knew, somewhere, what he was supposed to do, but if he did it he would have to let go. It wasn't safe.


Leaving Luca to Garrett for now, Evelyn took a moment to give Watson proper cuddles to be sure he wasn't upset, then set him gently on the ground to gather up Luca's favorite blanket and a stuffed animal to bring to the living room.

"Everything is okay," she said gently to Anthony as she walked out with Watson at her heels. "Well. No one is hurt, in any case. I'm sorry, I know that was scary. Luca isn't feeling well, so we're going to give him the couch but leave him be as much as we can. No hugs for a while, all right?" At least until they could assess how he was feeling about being touched.
 
Garrett watched Luca's body language carefully. Eventually, he managed to touch the water, and he didn't flinch or make it seem like the water was too hot or too cold. But he did seem hesitant to let go. Garrett wasn't sure whether it was because of his Shadow or just having someone there with him; either way, he thought he had a solution. "Luca, would you like me to have a hand on your back while you wash your face? Then I'll still be touching you," he offered softly.


Watson gently bumped his head against her chin, purring happily. And once he was set down, he strolled off to the kitchen, sniffing around for some scraps.

Anthony's expression relaxed a bit when Evelyn explained no one was hurt. "No worries. Garrett and I thought Luca might need some extra support today. That's why we wanted to stay over," he explained with a smile. "I'll be around the house texting Beckett and Shiloh, if you or Luca needs anything. Just let me know."
 
Luca's expression twitched at the sound of his name, like being noticed meant he was in trouble, but other than tensing didn't react at first. He looked in Garrett's direction out of the corner of his eyes, though never right at the man, and for a moment squeezed his hand tighter before gradually starting to let go. Finally, he nodded a little to agree, and waited stiffly until Garrett's hand was on him rather than being held in his own.

Everything was slow, like he was moving underwater, but after feeling the water for a little longer Luca managed to bend down enough to cup water in his hands and spread it over his face without splashing too much, even though he still felt like his whole body was shaking and his legs didn't want to hold him for very long.

After he'd rinsed a couple of times he braced his hands on the sink to keep himself up, water dripping from his skin as he focused on breathing properly, and could only look at himself in the mirror for the barest moment. Finally, he managed to speak with a voice that was as quiet as it was empty. ". . . I did it," he whispered faintly, like he had the day they had discovered what happened to Isaac's parents. "I did it. . ."


Evelyn shook her head, sighing softly and trying to ignore the tremble in her own hands. She only hoped things would get better. "I don't think there's much we can really do except sit with him. . . Offer what support we can without touching him. I don't think he's taking too fondly to that right now."

It was a change from how he tended silently to beg for any sort of human contact. She would have been lying if she said it didn't make her heart hurt.
 
"All right. I'm moving my hand now," Garrett announced. He went slowly, so as not to startle Luca, and then kept his hand carefully on the young man's back while he washed his face. Garrett's expression relaxed by degrees when Luca eventually started breathing a bit better - even if he looked like he was hanging onto the sink for dear life.

Then he heard the tone in Luca's voice. He wondered what Luca was remembering . . . maybe his parents?

Garrett swallowed a bit and kept his hand where it was. "What did you do, Luca?" he asked softly. He wanted to clarify, in case it was something completely different. And maybe it would help Luca to talk about it, even just a little bit.


Anthony nodded slowly. "Right. And Garrett's with him at the moment." He paused for a moment, glancing down at his phone. Then he sank into a chair at the kitchen table, patted the chair next to him, and smiled. "You want to text Beckett and Shiloh with me? Luca and Garrett will let us know if they need us. You should take a few minutes to relax, you know?" he added.

After thoroughly inspecting the kitchen for scraps, Watson trotted towards Evelyn, winding through her legs with a soft meow.
 
He felt sick. It had been a long time since thinking about it had made him feel so sick, like he might throw up or wake up on the ground at any moment. A long time since he had felt like he was shaking so much inside his bones might start to rattle. What were the words? He wasn't supposed to say them. He wasn't supposed to think them.

". . . I killed them." He forced the words out, even though he couldn't raise his voice, even though it broke in the middle like each word was shards of glassing raking over his throat. His hands had gone white knuckled on the sink, his eyes on the white porcelain of it but hardly focused. "I killed them first."

And then again, and again, and again. Always blood and bones and debris, burying him so deep he couldn't ever get free and had to just close his eyes and pretend it wasn't there, pretend his body wasn't a weapon. He wanted to turn his back like it wouldn't be true if he couldn't see it, but it was always there. It always came back. He felt sick.


Evelyn had expected Anthony to be the one who was upset, who was afraid for his friend and would want to see him at all costs. When he invited her to sit with him she looked at him with something sad and touched in her eyes. It was kind of him, trying to help her when she was so used to being the one helping, and with the tremor in her hands she knew she could use the chance to breathe. It was just easier when someone else told her to do it.

"That sounds . . . nice." She said softly, and after a pause reached down to pick Watson up into her arms so he wouldn't trip her on her way to sit at the table. "I hope the weather will stay good for them for a while."
 
Garrett's eyes shimmered with fresh tears. There was something in Luca's voice that sounded different. Something strangely more coherent, more grounded than normal. He was remembering.

The detective took a long breath. Then he gently rubbed Luca's back. ". . . Yes," he said quietly. "Yes, you did. But you weren't in control. It wasn't your fault. Do you hear me? It wasn't your fault, Luca." The young man paled suddenly, and Garrett cleared his throat. "Should we move towards the toilet, in case you get sick?" he asked gently. Besides, then he could kneel down, too - Luca's legs looked like they might give out any moment.


Anthony's subtly strained expression eased a little more when Evelyn came over to join him, cat in hand. "Yeah, me too. They were just giving me a tour of the house. See?" he added. He slid the phone over so they could see it together, and he tapped one of the pictures to like it.

Beckett and Shiloh were hiding under one of the beds, taking a selfie while they pretended to hide from Captain Starfish. The following picture, which Anthony had liked, was the Captain lunging under the bed and startling them, resulting in a photo with a lot of movement and silly expressions.
 
It stung. He wasn't used to words hurting in a way that he could feel in his chest, but hearing the truth confirmed in Garrett's voice made it feel like fire curling up the back of his neck. He wanted to fall to his knees, to bury his head in the ground, dizziness wrapping around his brain. If Garrett hadn't helped him move, he might have just collapsed there at the counter.

On his knees, Luca coughed miserably in an attempt not to throw up, a hand braced against the tank of the toilet and hanging his head above it like sitting up any straighter would make it worse, the other hand curling into his stomach like he could claw the sickness away. It wasn't your fault. . . It wasn't your fault. Then why did it feel like it was? If he hadn't been born with his gifts, if someone hadn't pulled them from his grasp and used them for awful things, maybe

"I was there." He got out, faint and shaking, eyes squeezed shut even though it only made it easier to see. Like it had happened only minutes ago. "I watched. . . I always watched. . ."

Someone had pulled his strings like a puppet, his body and mind pulled from his control, but they were still his. He could still see and hear and feel, watching like a horror movie that never ended. It had all started with them. He wanted to change it, but every time he closed his eyes he could only see the same things.


Everyone was struggling. That much was clear even without the gifts bombarding her with things she wasn't trying not to think about. When she had taken a seat with Watson in her lap, she reached for Anthony's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Her phone was buzzing faintly from nearby, messages from the doctor, but she couldn't stand to look at them yet.

"They act so silly sometimes," she said with a small smile, looking at the pictures of Shiloh and Beckett finally getting to play. "I'm glad they found somewhere to be happy."
 
When Luca curled up with the toilet, Garrett knelt down slowly with him, rubbing his back gently and sitting close at hand. He didn't even know how to begin helping Luca feel better . . . except by slowly talking him through things. Acknowledging the pain and then giving him the tools to find the hope in it.

He swallowed and nodded. "You used to watch," he said softly. "I know. Luca, it may have been your body and your powers the Lombardis used. But you didn't have a choice. They were stolen from you. The Lombardis are the ones to blame. Not you. It wasn't your fault."


"Yeah, me too," Anthony added with a grin. "I think - didn't they mention they knew each other, before the lab? I should ask how they know each other. Unless . . . do you think that would bring up bad memories?"
 
It wasn't your fault. He kept hearing, over and over, in Garrett's voice and in his head. From Evelyn. From Dr. Morrison. Part of him wanted to say he could hear it in his mother's voice, but it only made him want to be sick. It wasn't his fault. Maybe he believed it. But it had still happened.

"It wasn't mine." He shook his head minutely back and forth like he could jar the thoughts away, his voice small and straining like he might begin to sob again even though the tears had barely come back. He felt empty inside, and too full all at the same time. "I wasn't mine. . . Took me away. . ."

His body hadn't been his. His mind hadn't been his. If it wasn't taken from him, he was so tired or so sick from sedation he could barely think straight anyway. The only way to make it better was to be good, to stay still and listen, but it never felt better. Not until he'd found her, the girl who could see him like he saw her. If she hadn't found him, he didn't know how long it would have gone on. Evelyn and Garrett were the only reason his body was his again, and he didn't want to hurt them most of all.


"I'm not sure." Evelyn said thoughtfully, fingers curling a bit tighter around his before she let him gently go, petting Watson for a moment to help calm herself down. She wanted to go back to where Garrett and Luca were, to help him stop feeling so awful, but she knew it was better not to crowd them. "Do you want me to look into it instead?"

She hadn't had an investigation to pursue in a while. It might be somewhere to direct her attention when Luca eventually could rest, rather than just being bombarded by Insight of how he suffered.
 
"I know," Garrett murmured, gently twining his fingers through Luca's hair to try and ground him. "They kidnapped you, and forced you to do things. It wasn't your fault, Luca. They took . . . they took a lot of people." He went quiet for a moment, tears rolling down his cheeks. He could still hear the gunshots. He remembered watching his parents crumple to the ground, just across the street - soundlessly, like it hadn't really happened.

He squeezed his eyes tightly and caught his breath. He had to focus. Luca needed him. His breath got a little shaky, and his hand trembled, but he kept himself together and nodded, shaking off his memories. "But you have your body and mind back now. They're yours," he promised Luca. "You belong to yourself now. You're free."


Anthony's eyes lit up, and he nodded. "If you wouldn't mind! I don't want to intrude on them and bring down their mood, but I am really curious. Thanks, Evelyn."

Her Insight would give her mixed emotions. Overall the meeting had been a happy one, but there were powerful negative emotions as well; it had been a tumultuous time. There was something about a dumpster. A loud sound, like a car motor . . .
 
Dimly, Luca wondered how many people knew what it was like, having their body and mind separated, plucked from their own control despite still living in them. Was it only him? Was he the only one that had something broken enough inside him to make it happen? He had never thought about it before. He had always tried so hard not to think about it at all.

Free. It was something else he had never let himself think about. Before, it had only meant the times when he was left with enough water to use his Sight, to see the outside world any way he could. Now it was different. Now it was lying out in the sun with the breeze on his skin, listening to the rustle of tree branches. It was eating or drinking what he wanted, and learning to make things with his own hands. It was hearing the people he cared about laugh, and hoping he would always get to feel the way they made him feel inside.

Nauseas still but breathing slower, Luca looked sidelong at Garrett as he spoke, not pulling away or leaning into the way the detective touched him. Finally, with a soft, miserable sound he let himself fall over into Garrett's chest, shaken and weak, unsure how to calm the storm inside his chest. He was so exhausted he wanted to sleep, but too terrified of what he might dream to even think of it. He just wanted to rest. He wanted to stop thinking about anything at all.


Evelyn gave Anthony a nod and a small smile, just asking him to send over whatever picture she had of the two for her to look at. Looking into the lab itself would likely give her the wrong details, and touching Anthony's phone was more likely to give her Insignt about him. Rather than risk that, she got up to get her phone, carrying Watson with her and setting him back in her lap as she returned, then spent a while flipping through the photos, studying them quietly and zooming in on random details or closing her eyes to think.

"Strange." She said after a little while, setting her phone on the table and shaking her head. "They did meet before then, but how or why isn't very clear. Something to do with trash, and noise. I'll have to look into it more thoroughly later on, see if I can pry any more details from it." She had too much else to think about in the moment.
 
When Luca slumped against him, it was all Garrett could do not to burst out sobbing. He gently hugged him and kept running a hand over his hair. "Oh, Luca. Don't you worry. It'll be okay." He rocked him slowly back and forth with a quiet breath. Luca seemed exhausted. More so than usual. ". . . Do you want to rest for a little bit? We could go to your bed, and I could stay right nearby to guard you while you sleep," he offered.


"Huh! You're right, that is weird," Anthony agreed. "I'll probably wait to bring it up with them, then. At least until I know they don't mind talking about it."

Watson purred and nestled his head against the corner of Evelyn's arm. Luca had Garrett for now, so Evelyn would get him. He was determined to help her relax a bit.

So was Anthony. "Hey, you want to draw some pictures together?" he offered. "Might help get your thoughts out."
 
It was hard not to think about the things that clung to him like a noose around his neck. Luca leaned very still against Garrett's chest despite how he was half slumped over with one leg trapped underneath him in order not to hit the man in the chin, clinging loosely to the arm wrapped around him and just trying to breathe. He wanted to shut out the world, but it felt like if he did he would only see bad things. Even open, his eyes were distant and dazed, caught in places far away.

The idea of going to bed had Luca shaking his head too suddenly, churning the sick feeling in his stomach in ways that almost made him want to slide fully to the ground. "No room. . . Please, no room. . ." He didn't want to be shut away. Even if there were no chains and no medicine, he didn't want to be behind a door that could close, a space that felt small with only one way out. He wanted to be somewhere open. The only reason the bathroom itself didn't make him want to break down the door was because Garrett was with him, and the bathroom was where he was supposed to be sick.


Evelyn shook her head a little, expression perplexed, but for now let it go. She didn't want to pry too closely into the others' lives at the moment, not with everything else going on. As thoroughly as she would like to attempt checking their backgrounds and what all they had been up to before the lab, she neither wanted to remember it nor learn more about it for the time being.

She looked sidelong at Anthony for a moment, scratching gently at Watson where her hand rested as he curled up in her arm and quite pointedly not mentioning what they both knew he was doing. It was sweet of him, wanting to help even though she felt as if she was supposed to be the one helping him. "I don't think you want to see anything from my thoughts right now," she said with a soft sigh, but after a moment flipped through the pictures on her phone to find one of Watson. "But if you'll get me a pencil and paper, I suppose I could scribble a little." It would at least be something to keep her hands busy.
 
Garrett's eyes went wide. He had never heard Luca say no like that before. It was a tremendous breakthrough, and it let him know exactly where Luca did not want to be. He smiled shakily and nodded, wiping tears from his eyes with one hand. "Thank you for telling me. No room," he agreed at once. For that matter, maybe the bathroom was too claustrophobic, too.

He gently ran a hand through Luca's hair, glancing towards the door. "What about outside, in the grass? We can bring the trash can with you in case you need to be sick," he offered.


Anthony clicked his tongue and shrugged, smiling a little. "I wouldn't mind. I'm tough, Evelyn. I can handle scary thoughts," he promised, trying to keep his tone light. "But hey. Just doodling's good, too."

He wandered off to get some supplies, and then returned to set them out carefully. "Want me to chat while we draw?" he offered. "I could use someone to bounce ideas off for my next circus!"
 
It had never worked before, begging for any sort of relief, and it had been a long time since he'd bothered, but he felt so miserable he couldn't help it. Maybe somewhere he knew it was okay to ask for things if it was Garrett, even if in the moment he couldn't fully think himself through to acknowledging that. He was doing enough just to cling to the man instead of hiding in a corner by himself.

The effort of sitting up and trying to calm himself down had him breathing a bit heavier for a moment, even as he did his best to remember how Evelyn had taught him to count the seconds, to not accidentally hyperventilate. ". . . Okay." He managed faintly after a long pause, fingers curling a little tighter around Garrett's arm. "Outside. . . Trash can." Just in case. He wasn't feeling so urgently sick to his stomach still, but it hadn't gone fully away.


Evelyn managed only a faint, unconvincing smile in response. Anthony was a child that had grown up under the shadow of a criminal enterprise, that much was true, but there were a great deal of things she would rather keep to herself rather than burden anyone else. She'd been learning things she wasn't supposed to know since she was a child, and with it came experience with simply pushing it down where it didn't get in her way.

"Another circus sounds fun." She said when he returned, though she was struggling to muster the amount of enthusiasm she would normally have meant to give him. She sat with the pencil in her hand, still for a long moment as she tried to decide what to draw. Eventually, she settled on a bird in flight. "What are you thinking of doing?"
 
"Well, the animals were super popular last time," Anthony started in, "So I'm going to be focusing on those a lot more. Maybe add a water show, with a dolphin, seal, and shark! It's an imaginary circus so I can put any animals I want in there," he added with a smile. He wasn't expecting Evelyn to give him her full, excited attention - he just wanted to give her something positive to focus on. So far, it seemed to be working a bit.


"All right. I'll help you walk outside, and I'll ask Evelyn to bring the trash can for us," Garrett said gently. He got slowly to his feet, and then made sure Luca's arm was wrapped around his shoulders so he could help him walk safely. "Do you want to walk, or do you want me to carry you? It's not far," he realized all at once.

He either walked carefully with Luca or scooped him up into his arms, depending on what Luca chose, and then made his way past the living room and kitchen. "Hey, Evelyn," he called out. "We're going to sit outside for a bit. Could you please bring a trash can outside for us in case Luca has to be sick?"

Anthony glanced up as the pair passed by. Normally he would've jumped to his feet and offered to do that instead - but Luca looked miserable, and there was a good chance he'd only want the most familiar people around at the moment. So instead he only nodded. "All right. Hope you feel better soon, Luca!" he called out.
 
Evelyn was scribbling quietly, making small lines and trying not to think too much while giving Anthony as much of her attention as she could manage. She only just beginning to make a confused face, seconds from asking how on earth he would play out water based animals - and animatronic children's toy, perhaps, or little floating duckies - when Insight alerted her to the fact that Garrett and Luca were coming out. She was on her feet a moment later, setting Watson gently down in the chair where she had once sat and taking an anxious step towards the hall as the bathroom door opened.

As exhausted as he was, Luca chose to walk. He knew somewhere that Garrett wasn't hurting him, but the idea of not being able to use his own legs only made him feel more panicked inside, like he wasn't in charge of his body all over again. It wasn't the same, and he knew it wasn't, but knowing didn't make it feel different.

Getting to his feet was a challenge, even with Garrett's help, but staying there once he had an arm over the detective's shoulders was a little better. With some time to pause and not get dizzy from getting up so suddenly, Luca was able to walk slowly out of the bathroom, though his eyes stayed on the floor and his free hand curled tight into his shirt like the pressure alone could make his stomach settle.

"Of course." Evelyn said, though with a worried furrow in her brow. "Let me grab you a blanket first." She was quick, taking the one she'd laid out on the couch for Luca and simply pulling it out ahead of them even though it wasn't strictly meant to go outside. It didn't matter. Once she had it laid out she watched them walk by in dismay, and only after thinking of Luca being nauseas did she hurry back inside to grab a small trash can and put a fresh bag in it.

"Anthony," she asked as she passed by again, "will you give us a few minutes and then bring out some water? Just a bottle is fine."

She needed to check on Luca first, but eventually she was sure it would help to have all of his friends around. At least, she hoped it would.

Outside, Luca half-laid, half-collapsed down onto the blanket in the grass, shuddering once at the cooler temperature even through the blanket, and curling up on his side to focus on breathing the fresh air. It was better, being outside where he was never allowed to be before. It made everything feel less like a dream, or a nightmare.
 
Anthony blinked at Evelyn, but then nodded. "Yeah. Definitely." It probably wouldn't be too disruptive to drop off a water bottle and go back inside. Luca looked out of it enough where he probably wouldn't even notice him coming or going.

He watched from the window for a few minutes while the group got settled, along with Watson, and then let out a breath and petted the cat. "Be right back, buddy. He needs some water," he announced.

Watson meowed and followed after him while he got a bottle of water from the fridge. And when Anthony went outside, the cat watched from the window again, swishing his tail.

Anthony quietly made his way to the blanket and held the bottle out to Evelyn with a nod and a small smile. "Here you go." His gaze briefly flicked over to Luca, and his brow furrowed. "Luca? I'll - I'll be right inside if you need anything, okay?" he murmured.

Garrett had carefully walked with Luca out to the grass and sat beside him once they were there. Luca seemed cold, so he made sure to stay right beside him in case he wanted to cuddle up for warmth, and he kept a hand on his back even after the boy had laid down. He was about to reply to Anthony until he decided it was probably better to see if Luca would say something himself. At least Luca finally had a chance to catch his breath somewhere relaxing.
 
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Luca was quiet the moment he was lying flat again, hands curled up near his chin and legs tucked in close. His eyes were half open but he wouldn't speak, just breathing carefully and trying to count each second like he was supposed to. In, then out. In, then out. It still felt like his body was trembling, and his stomach hadn't settled, but it was better to be outside. He had never been allowed to go outside before.

"Thank you," Evelyn said gently when Anthony brought out water, taking it from him but just setting it nearby where she could reach it. When Luca didn't show any sign of responding, she offered him a small, apologetic smile. "Give us a few minutes, okay? I'll text you."

When Luca felt more himself, she was sure he would want Anthony there, but in the moment she wasn't even sure he knew she was there.
 
Anthony smiled thinly, but having seen how distraught Luca was in person made him worried. He'd never seen him so upset before. Still, he had Garrett and Evelyn with him, and Anthony trusted them both to help him. He nodded and waved a hand. "All right. Keep me posted on how he's doing," he murmured.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Thanks," Garrett told him.

Once Anthony had gone back inside to distract Watson, Garrett turned his full attention to Luca, letting out a long, deep breath. "I'm glad it's a nice day outside," he said slowly. "Good day for singing, maybe." He smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Maybe a lullaby might do you some good. I'll - I'll sing you one of my favorites." He took another deep breath. And in his warm baritone voice, he began to sing. "Stay awake, don't rest your head . . . don't lie down upon your bed . . ."

He gently ran his hand down Luca's back, hoping the movements might encourage him to take deeper breaths.
 
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