Dear John Letter

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He took a deep breath and just shook his head. "I don't get you sometimes. You want to do it your way and then once you hear more you say we can do it my way. That won't work Dr. Owens, you need to get more stubborn in your ways. I didn't tell you all of that to make you feel bad for me, I did it so you would let me go and deal with things on my own. That's what I've had to do my whole life. It sucks and gets hard, but I've gotten through it. Animals are easier to deal with. I think I'm just going to focus on that for now, it's easier to have a relationship with them. They usually don't die until their time." Damien explained before looking down at his hands.
 
"Fine, you want me to be stubborn? Then you need to start trusting me enough to take you for a walk down the street without running away the first time you get nervous." She told him, clenching her jaw. She was frustrated and didn't understand why he was so wishy-washy on this. First he's mad because he doesn't get his way, and she tries to compromise and it doesn't change anything.

"Also, I'm setting you up as a volunteer at the animal shelter. They're always short staffed and I think you need to have something more to do than stay inside all the time." She said with an air of finality.
 
Damien groaned softly and set his head in his hands. He kept getting these headaches from lack of sleep. "Fine, whatever. I just think I need more time. It took me almost a year to get used to things there. Why should it take only a few weeks to get back to normal here?" He asked, rubbing his forehead. Damien knew he should probably get some sleep aids, but he hated taking drugs if he didn't have to.
 
"I can deal with you taking time. As it is, can I write your a script for a low dose anxiety medication? It's been known to help with the downward transition, and you don't have to take it all the time," she said, and looked at him with a tilted head. "Are you feeling alright?" She asked, noticing the demeanor change since he had been issuing the silent treatment. While she couldn't do certain medications, she was good at pointing him in the direction of someone who could help with that.
 
"I don't have an issue with anxiety." He muttered, shaking his head. "I just can't sleep that's all. You can write me a script but I probably won't fill it. I hate taking medicine." Damien sat up once again and watched her. "Dr. Owens... Honestly I just need to be reminded where I am every once in awhile, like you did last week. Sometimes I forget."
 
She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes when he said he didn't have anxiety. What word would he use to describe his unique situation? "Fine, no script. If you need a sleep aid, try something over the counter, like Z-quil. But since you don't do medicine that was probably a waste of breath." He sat up and began to watch her, which kind of confused her. It was like the tables were turned and they were now studying her. She didn't like it much.

"I can do that too. We don't really see it much here though, so if you encounter it outside of our sessions, call the number on the card. If it's after hours, it goes to my cell phone." She told him. He wouldn't be the first person to call her outside of the office, and certainly wouldn't be the last.
 
Damien nodded and glanced at the clock. "Are we finished for today? I didn't mean to tell you everything, but I guess I'm not great at the silent treatment. I just wanted to see if you would still have the session if I didn't say anything... Guess it didn't work."
 
"Yes, you're dismissed. You can schedule an appointment in the morning when my receptionist calls to tell you when to report to the animal shelter." She told him, smiling at his words. He'd opened up, even if it had been a complete accident. "Silent treatments don't really work on psychiatrists. We will talk at you if you won't talk back."
 
"Lesson learned." He said, giving her a fake salute before standing and starting to leave. "See you next week then." Damien murmured.

(Skip some amount of time, a couple days)

He woke up in a cold sweat and grabbed his phone, waiting for someone to pick up. Damien had set her number to speed dial so if he ever wanted to kill someone or woke up not knowing where he was he would be able to call her.
 
She grinned outright at the fake salute. "See you next week. Try to do something new at least once this week, ok?" She didn't really expect a response to that, and once he left she buzzed he next patient in.

--

She'd been in a dead sleep when her phone started ringed, momentarily terrifying her before she realized the source of the noise. She slid it over to pick up the call and answered with a groggy, "Hello?" This wasn't a normal patient call, as most of her regulars were programmed into her phone.
 
"Dr. Owens?" Damien said, recognizing her voice. That alone helped him start to calm down, although his heart was still racing. "I... I'm sorry for calling." He muttered, trying to blink away the images that were stuck on the back of his eye lids.
 
She recognized Damien's voice almost immediately, pushing herself upright. "No, don't apologize. Damien, it's alright. You're alright. What's going on?" She didn't know if this was him forgetting where he was, or if this was him out in the middle of the night for whatever reason nearly ready to kill someone. Either way, she needed to know.
 
"Just a dream. Some memories." Damien said softly, looking around for Jax. "They woke me up, my hand was being torn apart again." He elaborated, taking a few deep breaths.

"I put your number in my phone and trained myself just to call if I couldn't remember where I was." Damien explained, petting the puppy once he found him.
 
"Ah, bad dreams, huh?" She said, understanding what the culprit was now. He told her of his self discipline and her brows shot up in surprise. "So did it work? Do you know where you are now?" She asked softly, rubbing her eyes with her free hand, looking at her clock.

She wasn't too concerned with the time, as the office was closed and she would be able to catch up on the missed sleep if need be. As it was, Jess was weirdly excited about the fact he'd turned to her to come back. It was one of those kings that immediately made her feel guilty, but it was there nonetheless.
 
"Well I knew your name right? So yes, I understand that I'm not in a war zone. I still don't know many things in the area, but I do reconize my apartment now." He explained as he started to lay back down.

"The medicine didn't work so you know, I did actually try some. I think my dreams were more vivid actually." Damien admitted, with a sigh.
 
"That's good, then." She said, and he informed her of the intensity of his dreams. "I guess you should try a more natural method. If you'd like, I can teach you meditation, or you could try a relaxing tea?" They were two of her go-to methods in cases of lack of sleep.

"I am sorry it didn't work. It does the trick for me, but I think we've made it clear our situations are different." She murmured. Not that mumbling really did much, she was talking into the phone, after all.
 
"I'll try some tea first. I was thinking of going to that market you wanted me to go to. I'm not the best at making food, but I thought it might have things for me to try. Perhaps they will also have teas." Damien said with a shrug, even though she could not see it.

"Do you know if the market is open tomorrow or is it only certain days?"
 
"The market has a lot of things like that. Just don't get judge about some of the tea vendors, they look a little sketchy but they have some serious skill within their fields." She advised with a small smile. It was hard to take some of the people in the market seriously, they weren't exactly the norm.

"It's open tomorrow as far as I know." She said, wondering if he was a bad cook, of just didn't know how to make much. There was a distinction, after all.
 
"I'll try to make it then." Damien said, so he would feel obligated to go tomorrow. "I... I should let you go, it's to early to be up." He said as he realized it was 2am. "I'm sorry for waking you." He said again, feeling bad that she had to deal with him.

"Our session is on Thursday right?" Damien asked just to confirm, without realizing she may not have them all memorized.
 
"Sounds like a good plan." She told him, and then shook her head, only stopping to realize he couldn't see her. "Try to get some sleep, okay? I'm only a phone call away." She said quietly. His inquiry about his appointment made her stand up and walk towards her kitchen area.

"Give me a second, I'll check..." She drifted off, before pulling out her planner and flipping to Thursday. "Yup, Thursday at four o'clock." She confirmed, returning to her bedroom.
 
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