Crushes, and being the Crushiee (That's not a word

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

I married the last person I had a crush on. It's worked out pretty well for me so far. =P

I never really had a lot of crushes when I was old enough to do something about it. My mom wouldn't let me date at all, so I couldn't do anything until I moved out of the house at 16. After that, I was too busy working and trying to support myself to have time for guys unless it was in a relationship. I dated, but not much and usually only with people who had a thing for me and I really didn't want to turn them down. =/

 

[Hope]

Lucky. I wish I could say that I have the ability to be open with something else besides sarcastic remarks, but when it comes to love interests, I'm really scared of them.

I used to be reaaaallllly shy growing up. Like my face would be on fire if a boy talked to me. Somewhere around junior year I looked around at all the girls that looked so confident in themselves and didn't seem to have any worries. I remember thinking to myself "if they can do it I can do it." And long story short is... fake it till you make it.

I actually have a crush on one of my friends at the moment, so I've tried to hint that I like them by complimenting their appearance. (I don't do it all the time, just so I'm not seen as creepy >_> ) ^////^ Hopefully something happens with it. =]

Lol I agree with Pete. "Just tell them you big loser." XD

Honestly, for me, whether a guy had the courage or not to tell me they had feelings for me would make or break my interest. Basically, I'm attracted to guys that know what they want and arent afraid to go for it. However, I don't know this girl. She could be the opposite of me for all I know.

Either way.. don't you just want to know how she feels? Doesn't it take such a weight off your shoulders by telling her?

Good luck with it :)

 

[LogicfromLogic]

I used to be reaaaallllly shy growing up. Like my face would be on fire if a boy talked to me. Somewhere around junior year I looked around at all the girls that looked so confident in themselves and didn't seem to have any worries. I remember thinking to myself "if they can do it I can do it." And long story short is... fake it till you make it.

I'm kind of pathetic, I'm 24 and still have no guts when it comes to love interests. When it comes to needing to confront someone or take charge? No problem for me.

 

[Razilin]

oh my wife gets so annoyed by this thing

every year, there's a few nerd-girls who end up with a massive crush on me

when my wife and I were dating, this one security guard at our workplace would only ever talk to me; she just completely ignored my then-girlfriend. everyone knew about it, too, since it was so obvious. hell, even i noticed it and I'm terrible about that sort of thing.

currently, there's a bisexual chick at my Parkour gym who my wife is convinced had a crush on me. this chick happens to also be a masseuse, and keeps offering/giving me massages after tough workouts.

my wife thinks she's got a crush. I just thought she was being nice.

 

[Brovo]

@The Butterfly and @Fluffy are married, and @Arcadia has a crush on somebody, and @RedWillow and @Qwertronix are married, @Greenie is married to someone, @The Mood is Write has a crush on someone, @Nydanna is married to someone, @Razilin is married to someone...

If ever there was something that could make me feel old and alone, that's it right there I think. Congrats to y'all for finding what you were looking for. I'm gonna go stare at some cat sneks and smile.

 

[Grothnor]

what do you do when someone admits they have feelings for you?

I don't know. IT'S NEVER HAPPENED. >:(

Though I generally expect to receive a mental blue screen of death and be completely dumbfounded.

I've had three crushes before and none of them ended up well because I never fessed up to them. I almost did for the last one, but I ended up clamming up, which is generally my reaction to extreme stress.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

If ever there was something that could make me feel old and alone, that's it right there I think. Congrats to y'all for finding what you were looking for. I'm gonna go stare at some cat sneks and smile.

You got this dude. Just because you're single (not assuming you are, just in general) doesn't mean you are undeserving or that you are unattractive. Sometimes finding the right person takes time, meanwhile, you're just getting more awesome everyday.

That's the advice a teacher gave me when I was in high school quite a while ago.

 

[Dervish]

I've only had 3 people in real life approach me for dating.

First was a friend in high school with a lot of really bad emotional issues and trauma who honestly needed help that I was unequipped to handle. I was pressured into dating her by mutual friends/ enduring constant suicide threats and self cutting. I broke it off after six days. It probably screwed up my dating expectations hard for years.

Second was a girl I hooked up with at a party. We dated for a month and a half before her emotional baggage and the hour drive to visit got to be a bit much.

Third was a girl I met in a bar whose entire personality could be summed up as, "pot is my life". Not that there was anything wrong with that, but literally any conversation I started somehow ended up being tied into her pot used. Still would have hooked up if my room mate's girlfriend didn't have 12 people over and the place wasn't a giant pig pen of disgusting bullshit because of them.

Other than that? I've always been the guy who made the first move. It's not a bad thing by any means, but honestly, it would have been nice to have girls approach me for a change.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I'm honestly shocked I've even managed to be in two relationships in the past (even if one was there and gone within a week)... o_o
Like, what the hell was it about me (ESPECIALLY reckless over-emotional teenage me) that people liked?

 

[Dervish]

I'm kind of pathetic, I'm 24 and still have no guts when it comes to love interests. When it comes to needing to confront someone or take charge? No problem for me.

Honestly, I used to be in the same boat as you. Eventually, I hit a point where I realized the worst they can say is no, so I figured what the hell, get it over with. It feels liberating just to get it off your chest, and more often than not, either it's a yes or a polite rejection, which in my mind is preferrable to a prolonged period of time pining for someone who may never return your affections.

Alternatively, just grow out your Chewbacca hairs and roar dominantly, you smooth skinned bastard. :'D

@The Butterfly and @Fluffy are married, and @Arcadia has a crush on somebody, and @RedWillow and @Qwertronix are married, @Greenie is married to someone, @The Mood is Write has a crush on someone, @Nydanna is married to someone, @Razilin is married to someone...

If ever there was something that could make me feel old and alone, that's it right there I think. Congrats to y'all for finding what you were looking for. I'm gonna go stare at some cat sneks and smile.

This might sound dumb or too obvious, but give online dating a try. Even if like 90% of your dates go nowhere or turn out like a total disaster, it gets you out, you figure out some ideas for what you want in a partner, and it builds your confidence in asking people out. It's especially good if you're like me and you work in a position where you don't get a chance to meet people.

From personal experience, relationships tend to pop up when you aren't actively looking for one and you just happen to bump into somebody you click with. It's literally that simple and stupid a lot of the time.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

From personal experience, relationships tend to pop up when you aren't actively looking for one and you just happen to bump into somebody you click with. It's literally that simple and stupid a lot of the time.

[2]

That being said, I use the "Let it happen naturally" style.
So, that could just be process of elimination for me.

 

[Dervish]

[2]

That being said, I use the "Let it happen naturally" my style.
So, that could just be process of elimination for me.

I think in a lot of cases, really wanting a relationship can make you come off as a bit pushy or needy unintentionally. Just act like you normally do and treat it casually like you would any new friend and it usually is a much better response.

 

[Hope]

From personal experience, relationships tend to pop up when you aren't actively looking for one and you just happen to bump into somebody you click with. It's literally that simple and stupid a lot of the time.

I agree. The relationship I'm in is the longest I've ever had. It just fell into my lap when I wasn't expecting it. Normally, I'm calm and confident when flirting, but he threw me off and made me feel like an idiot (in a good way.) Now we have a daughter and are so happy :)

 

[Klutzy Ninja Kitty]

I don't get realistic crushes very often. But I had one a few months back. I liked the guy so much I told him. That's insane for me since I have a HUGE issue with social anxiety. He said he felt the same way and we started semi-dating, but 4 days later he told me he "changed his mind," saying he only imagined his feelings for me. Haven't had a crush on anyone since then and my feelings have been numb... but hopefully that'll change eventually when I meet another guy who knocks my socks off. lol.

As for people who have had crushes on me... 100% of the time I've not liked anyone back who crushed on me. I've had to turn a lot of people down. But I hate doing that because some of the people I turned down are friend and I honestly care about their feelings so much I have to be careful... I cared about one friend so much I started to cry when he told me. I didn't want to let him down. >.<

But, if a guy I DID like actually asked me out I'd tell them how happy I am that they felt the same, and we'd totally date. But I'd have to like them A LOT for me to actually overcome my dating phobias and social anxiety in order to agree... especially after my last experience being a bad one. XD

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I think in a lot of cases, really wanting a relationship can make you come off as a bit pushy or needy unintentionally. Just act like you normally do and treat it casually like you would any new friend and it usually is a much better response.

Yea, there's always been my idea when it came to relationships.
But being single for 3-1/2 years now combined with people in general telling me my current idea is a sure fire way to miss chances and stay single always gives me the back of the head thought of "What if I'm just shooting myself in the foot?"

 

[Razilin]

I like the "stick it in and see what happens" style

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I like the "stick it in and see what happens" style

 

[Peter Feels]

I know this is probably a given, but my go-to advice for relationship crap is to be happy with yourself in a way that being alone or with someone does not diminish that happiness. After that, find love and add to your already existing happiness.

 

[Dervish]

Yea, there's always been my idea when it came to relationships.
But being single for 3-1/2 years now combined with people in general telling me my current idea is a sure fire way to miss chances and stay single always gives me the back of the head thought of "What if I'm just shooting myself in the foot?"

Obviously I couldn't begin to guess what your current situation is, but a good rule of thumb is to follow your gut, it's usually a good indicator. If you're worried about your suitability for being appealing for dating, just do things that make you feel good. Eat well, get a hair cut, wear a nice outfit, work out. When you start feeling good about yourself, people notice.

Of course, it's general advice. Use it like tools in a tool box. But generally, if you're happy with who you are, it makes you really look good and people respond. I don't believe anyone is undatable or universally unattractive. Just don't fret the time it might take. :)

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Eat well, __________, wear a nice outfit, work out. When you start feeling good about yourself, people notice.

What happens when these conflict with my ability to feel good though? XD

Note, by 'nice outfit' I'm assuming you mean either expensive or takes some time to put together.
Both of which just make me feel awkward.