Corrupt-A-Wish 2

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Neobullseye

Neobullseye

Touhou lover
Original poster
FOLKLORE MEMBER
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
  1. 1-3 posts per week
Writing Levels
  1. Intermediate
Preferred Character Gender
  1. No Preferences
Genres
Fantasy, Most scenarios that allow for characterisation
With the first thread being locked due to reaching the maximum amount of posts, I had to make a new one. So well, here it is.


Rules, for those who didn't read the previous thread:

First, person A makes a wish. Let's say: "I wish for a ton of money"
The next player, Person B ruins said wish. For example, "Granted. A barrel of Zimbabwan Dollars appears right above your head, weighing exactly one ton."
Person B then makes a wish of his own, which the next player gets to ruin, etc. etc..


For the sake of continuity, I'll quote the second-to-last wish, the last corruption and the last wish.

---


Brother Gabriel said:
I want to die laugh at a good joke
Click to expand...

Granted. You die laughing at a good joke. Sadly, this happens while you're controlling a civil aircraft, inevitably causing the plane to crash, killing several hundreds in the process. Since you are obviously at least partly responsible for that, your memorial service is less than respectful.


I wish for all cancer to go away, without causing/creating a new illness in the process directly or indirectly.
((There's still a very easy corruption there. I wonder if anyone will think of the same one I thought of))
 
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Granted. All cancer go away, along with the organs they're attached to. Also, everyone of the starsign cancer will pass away.

I wish the colour blue was now called red, and vice versa. Oh, and no chaos or confusion should arise from this, I want it to appear natural as if blue should have always been red.
 
Granted. Someone goes back in time to make this change happen, but due to an unforeseen consequence, they prevent certain civilizations from starting, and Blue Communist USSR now rules the world.

I wish that people would no longer hate me.
 
Granted, you die in a horrible car accident. Seeing as, short of dictatorous assholes, one shall not speak ill of the dead, people no longer hate you.

I wish for the inspiration to make horrible wishes.
 
Granted, now when you wish for something good, it is bad. Not just lightly, but really bad.

I wish for the man downstairs from me to shut up while I sleep.
 
Granted. The next time you sleep the man's mouth is sealed shut. He's eating at the time, and the shock of his mouth sealing shut causes him to choke to death.

I wish I had the strength, agility, and endurance of a professional athlete
 
Granted. The continuous use of steroids has given you lethal brain hemorrhage.

I wish I could breathe both in and out of water.
 
Granted, you have now become half fish and half human. You can breathe above water and in, but you can't walk. Only swim.

I wish for a martini.
 
Granted. Your martini is laced with date rape drugs. An escaped criminal was also the one to give it to you. Have a happy time with that one.

I wish that I could be in my favorite video game, Tales of Symphonia, for one day without dying, getting injured, having my family get injured, the world ending, or the cannon characters hating me.
 
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Granted. You are now an NPC that absolutely nobody cares about ((So you are not hated, just completely ignored)). You are unable to move more than about six feet in any direction and are capable of saying only one or two lines, neither of which are interesting in the slightest. ((Also, I could be mean with you mixing up caNNon (a weapon) and caNon (established set of truths within either a work of fiction or history), but that would be too easy :P ))

I wish for a cookie that is not poisonous, toxic, gross, insanely hard, soft, dry, wet or otherwise inedible in any way, shape or form.
 
Granted. Before you are able to eat said cookie, a hobo stabs you and takes it. So at least he got to enjoy it.

I wish I could find a clean, easily usable, renewable source of energy, and that no harm would come to me before I show this new form of energy to the world.
 
Granted. The energy is radioactive and kills everyone attending the showcase. You die a few days later on exposure.

I wish for a mind that can solve everything.
 
Granted. Your mind is now made of an extremely potent acid.

I wish for some soup.
 
Granted you get as much as you want. But all of it is disgusting.

I wish for more friends.
 
Granted. You steal the friends from someone who becomes depressed over losing all their friends and commits suicide.

I wish I could do a triple backflip without hurting myself, anyone or anything else.
 
Granted. You can now do a triple backflip without hurting yourself, or anyone or anything else for that matter. If you try anything else, however, no such luck. (This includes both double and quadruple backflips.)

I wish for all the abilities of the Abrahamic God, with full control over all of them and without being negatively affected by it in any way, shape or form as a direct or indirect result of the wish, including you, the genie, going beyond the boundaries of the wish. Furthermore, I shall not lose these powers until my life ends, which, as a result of the aforementioned "no negative effects" clausule and the wish itself, is not before I specifically want it.
 
Granted, however since you are still a human, your body grows to the size of the universe, as it is the only way for you to be omnipresent. Your now super massive body destroys the stars and planets. Enjoy sitting in the cold of space until you decide to die.

I wish I were no longer shy, but however this wish is granted would not result in my death, being alone, or people ignoring me.
 
Granted however your friend is now a homosexual who is really coming on to you.

I wish for the achievement "This guy is back oh great."
 
Granted. You also receive the complimentary achievement "This guy is the biggest attention whore on Iwaku and nobody cares about him"

I wish for a delicious cut of meat
 
Granted you now have herpes because of the meat.

I wish for i wish for i wish for i wish for *google chrome crashing.*
 
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