Corrupt-A-Wish 2

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(wait what?) Granted. Now you can only use explorer.

I wish that I could stay in bed longer.
 
Granted. Yu are now permanently unable to leave your bed. If your bed is destroyed or someone tries to separate you from it, you die.

I wish my grades were better.
 
Granted but you go to hell for commiting sloth.

I wish for The Adventure of Super Hentai Man 2 to end.
 
Granted you got gaught cheating.

Granted. You are in the last horrible scene.

I wish that I can sunbathe without getting burns.
 
Granted. You will no longer get burns (plural) from sunbathing. Instead, your entire body burns all over in a perfectly uniform matter, effectively being a single burn. No burnS :P

I wish the following was true: I can, by sheer thought of wanting to do so, alter any object, rule or event in the universe and potential other universes as well as the potential area, medium or other entity containing said universes. The alterations can take any form and will carry out according to my intent. This includes things physically or logically impossible, in which cases exceptions will occur to the rules or laws (be they juridical or scientific in nature) prohibiting such alterations. These changes shall not be brought into effect by subcouncious wishes, wants or needs, but only by me, the wisher, actively wishing for the change. This wish is to be granted according to the intent of the wisher instead of any other interpretations of the wish-granting entity. The granting of this wish is does also not cause any effects not specifically and unambiguously mentioned in the wish. My behavior is also unaffected by the potential mental changes caused by this wish. I also have supreme veto power over any wishes anyone or anything else makes. This power shall not be taken away from me until I want it to, which in no way may be brought into effect by the wish-granting party.

((PS: If Reborn replies to this, can the next person in line please grant this one too?))
 
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Granted, you are now worshiped as a God. You are also hated and feared by the rest of the world's religions, and massive wars are fought in your name. The loss of life is so great that all the world's people who don't worship you unite to destroy you, resulting in nuclear war, rendering this planet lifeless. Good job.

I wish that once a week for the rest of my life, a truck of Snyder's of Hanover would deliver a bag of their buffalo wing flavored pretzels. This would be a legal contract between me and Snyder's, the bags would always be fresh, with no poison or anything to cause harm to my health. There would be no bugs/wild animals, and Snyder's will always know where I live in case I move.
 
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Granted, but the contract doesn't allow you to actually eat the pretzels. Just look at them hungrily. And you have to find storage space for them all, using your own effort.

I wish that this wish will become corrupted.
 
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Granted. Your wish disappears in a swirling void, sucking up you and the ones you love. Have fun in there.

I wish that I could easily remember my memories, so that I would never have to ask what I was supposed to do seconds after being told to do it.
 
Granted, but you can't forget anything at all. Not even the things you really want to forget. So your dreams a filled with the most vile and horrific memories.

I wish that I had better control over my impulse to make sarcastic comments.
 
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Granted, you now have the ability to control your sarcastic comments. As a matter of fact, you've become so good at it that sarcasm is all that leaves your mouth anymore. Good luck not offending anyone.

I wish I could never run out of food.
 
Granted. However the only food you aren't extremely allergic to is geoduck.

I wish geoduck's were pretty, in no way lethal or harmful, and without them taking over the planet.
 
Granted, but they're are so pretty we now worship them as God.

I wish I had my sarcasm back. :(
 
Granted, but you are now only capable of sarcasm!

I wish for Firefly to come back. Remember, you can't take the sky from me!
 
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Granted, but they changed the setting to imperial japan, therefore ruining the whole series from that point forward (don't worry, there are English subs.)

I wish that job interviews were not shitty.
 
^ Qualifies as taking the sky from me.

Granted, the interview isn't shitty, but the job sure as hell is!

I wish for George R. R. Martin to die and hand off the series to Brian Sanderson.
 
Granted. The series ((Which I'm assuming to be Game of Thrones, even though you never said that)) is now in the non-caring hands of Stephanie Brians and her son. (Hard-hearing Genie much? :P)

I wish for hearing aids.
 
Granted. However, the genie uses a different meaning for the word aid. From now on you are followed by hearing aides, two people who scream everything that is said to you, along with various other noises.

I wish I could be a movie director
 
Granted, but you are only allowed to make amateur porn movies (not videos) starring Michael J Fox without his medication.

I wish I was a pufferfish with magical qualities not limited to but including: longevity (in bed and in life), a pimping coral mansion that magically repelled dumbass fish and mean fish, the title King of the Sea, the ability to commune with human beans, the ability to fly and to be invincible to everything physical including diseases, stupidity, gravity, being stabbed, prodded, skewered, blended, food processed, stomped on, and other such things, lungs that work out of water, explosive farts with the velocity of a jet plane… and beach ball mode.
 
Granted, but the cost for these powers is your soul, so you slowly spiral into madness.

I wish for another wish.
 
Granted. However, since you never specified who gets said wish, I (The genie) get to choose who gets the wish. I choose myself, then wish for my own freedom. Then I take over the world! Muhahahah!

I wish for the evil genie that's taking over the world to get sealed away again.
 
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