Note all of these are under my
personal opinion.
I'm not taking the stance of "These are right and wrong and that is the way it is" or anything like that.
- How about calling elders "Sir" or "Ma'am"?
I'd say depends on the environment.
If it's family related? Drop it, family should be the one place you can kick back and relax the most.
Not be most on guard about protocol and procedure.
If it's work related though?
I'd say it depends on the professionalism of the place, and the relationship and atmosphere between the workers.
- Saying "please" and "thank you."
I'd say it's still valid.
But could use less frequency.
Today we're hitting a point that it's used so often that it's diluted, it holds no real meaning cause we hear it
all the time.
If we reserved for when it was more important/vital it could regain some meaning and significance, rather than simply be something to prolong a sentence.
- Holding doors open for ladies? How about for anyone?
Scrap the ladies part, just do it for people period.
That being said don't be really awkward and hold it for someone a fair bit away.
But at least do it for those who might get the door shut in their face otherwise, and/or have a decent amount they're carrying.
That's just common courtesy, and if everyone kept it up we'd be getting to places a lot quicker overall when otherwise encumbered.
- Shaking hands upon meeting someone new? (I still do this but notice many, many people don't anymore or are uncomfortable when I offer my hand)
Eh...
It's harmless, I see no harm in it.
But at the same time there's other people's comfort levels to consider and how not everyone may like it.
And there's no way to really tell before hand how they'd react.
So I would honestly say still feel free to offer it, but don't make it an obligation to respond.
So if they're not comfortable don't treat it like a sign of disrespect or anything either.
And while we're talking about handshakes...
I'd drop the whole "Make it hard and firm" competition sort of deal.
I've always found that makes more handshakes more of a competition of dominance than a sign of respect, the total opposite of manners.
- Not cursing in front of ladies?
Fuck that. :P
No disrespect to ladies meant.
I just find cursing is just part of the human language, it's a way we make sounds and express ourselves.
The idea that we treat certain word's as bad to begin with is ridiculous in itself.
I feel Stephen Fry put's it best in my opinion.
Especially considering that one sex is expected to be treated differently in this regard.
When in all honesty all that's saying is "Because you were born with a Vagina instead of a Penis (Something no one has control over) I'm going to treat you differently".
Which in my personal opinion is simply flat out sexist and helps nobody.
This all being said though, I do recognize society as a whole
strongly disagree's with me on this one.
And the expectation to not swear (especially near women) is still a common practice in today's society.
- Not eating before everyone has received their food, or till everyone has filled thier plate?
I find this one is still common practice, but only in regards to holidays.
If it's just your everyday dinner no one really seems to care that I've noticed...
Unless if you're in one of those strongly religious households that is, but that's more about praying before you eat then it is about eating before someone else.
But in my personal opinion? It's rather pointless.
It's food, your consuming it so you're able to keep functioning.
There's no reason to force yourself to be hungry for longer.
If the concern is interacting with others you can just sit after your done and continue talking, nothing's stopping you from staying.
- Helping elderly across the street?
Not on default I'd say.
Most people tend to ignore the elderly overall today (which I find rather despicable to be honest).
But at the same time we need to respect they're individuals and may want to do things themselves, and that maybe their only source of confidence left is doing things independently.
So as a rule? I'd suggest only offer your help if they seen in danger without it or outright ask for it.
And if they refuse the offer don't pressure them on it.
- How about giving up your seat for a lady? What if they were pregnant? Older?
Once again, remove the lady part.
Men and women are equal in society, there's no reason to be treating one differently than the other.
I would however support that for say the elderly, pregnant people or those with a physical impairment
if they seem in need of it.
However, if say you're on the bus and you're sitting in the handicapped seats? Just get out of there by default.
It's fine to sit there if there's not enough of such people on board, but if they do get on then you're in seats basically reserved/meant for them so at that point it's only common courtesy to move to another seat.
A person shouldn't have to ask for a seat that is legally there's to begin with.
Note: This is basically because of the medical issues that they will have.
If this was a class thing such as "Rich kids first" or "White people first" then I'd be demanding we ignore it completely.
But since it's medical based, which is a serious issue I'm fine with reserved seating because it makes sense as to why that would be a thing.