Change of Heart

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He blinked at the words, eyes growing wider still and Marsin slowly released Nik as the halfbreed moved, looking for all the world like a newborn colt as he tried to find his legs. When he was on his feet, he approached Lyra slowly, as if she were one of the hallucinations he'd seen over the past two weeks and would disappear at any moment. That fear, that grief was still strong in his eyes when he finally stopped in front of her and reached out. His fingers found her cheek and at the contact, Nik sucked in a sharp lungful of air and let it out shakily, his eyes meeting her own, searching.

Whatever he was looking for - and Nik couldn't have explained what it was - he found it and a trembling smile spread across his face, joy like the rising of the sun flaring in his eyes along with another strong emotion, one he felt above all else but still didn't know quite how to say. And right now his tongue didn't want to work anyway. His arms did instead, coming around Lyra and pulling her close gently as his nose buried in her hair, inhaling vanilla. His entire body shook with relief and when he started to finally whisper, he didn't even know why he said the words, only that he felt he needed to.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He'd killed her. She was in his arms, but he'd killed her. His mind was still trying to put those two facts together into something he could understand.
 
Inching towards her, watching in her a way that actually made her skin shiver and shake at its will only to have a hand touch out as if he was expecting her just to simply parish into dust; she squeaked as he embraced her. It was unusual, it was weird and yet not completely unwanted. She didn't like the fact her was hugging her with blood still on himself. That thought alone had her making a face.


Pushing him back giving him a gentle private smile, her own eyes watering Lyra exhaled softly. "I know," temper flared quick as her hand came up slapping hard - not enough to make a bruise but enough to make her point- she scowled at him. "Don't you ever do this again Nik. Stop trying to take things on alone, you can't be pushing away those who freaking love and care about you! Even in things like this. Your smart enough to figure out some way to let us know," fingers reached forward grabbing tight to his shirt drawing herself in nuzzling herself close - still aware of the blood- letting out a shaky whimper. "No more, no more hiding. For slaggin' sakes I don't know what I would have done if you didn't come back or the wolves didn't find you."
 
The slap startled him, a lot, but while he stared at Lyra with eyes that could have rivaled an owl's, there was no anger in him, no indignation or irritation. In fact, if anything he felt like he deserved to have her hit him again. He'd killed her. No...no, he hadn't but...but he had. The thought chased itself in his head, unable to make heads or tails of what had really happened, but it was a background noise as his true focus was on Lyra herself, scowl and all.

He didn't care. He could have had her rant at him for hours and just listen, drinking her in and reassuring his heart that she was HERE. She was BREATHING. She was ALIVE. He didn't care if she was furious in that life. So he just nodded to her, telling her he understood even if her words would only truly register with him later and when she came back to him, he willingly pulled her closer, her last words piercing him so that a few rogue tears managed to escape his closed eyes. "No more. I promise." He whispered it and meant every word. He would have stayed that way forever, holding her, but Marsin chose that moment to grab both of them gently and pull them apart.

He noted immediately the look of panic on Nik's face and was quick to speak, voice a rumble. "Just a moment, Cub." Without saying anything more, he reached out and with expert practice pulled Nik's shirt off. The halfbreed blinked, hair all awry and the wolf chuckled, tossing the fabric away. "You stunk." was all he said and Nik only smiled just a little before looking to Lyra and without hesitation, pulling her back into his arms, resting his head on her own.

He didn't ever want to let her go.
 
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There was talk about the prince's unusual behaviour which she had to inform Jak about when they all managed to come back to town. Not to mention the wolves being around when they weren't still overly welcomed and honestly if she could have labeled the emotion on her brother's face, it would have been relief mixed with pure furious protection. He seemed to take this threat of the dream invader extremely personally, actually starting to call in fores from their drow clan deep in the east.

She had to explain every carefully to Nik what a fore was due to their unusual nature and how they weren't actually heard of before. It didn't surprise her due to the fact fores were only elves and only drows. Much like Arrah they possessed abilities tangible to the tethers of life and sight, but unlike Arrah they were barrier creators. They were unprecedented in their abilities and Jak was seeing five being brought in to build a barrier specific designed to stop theses dream witches from plaguing more minds. It made her prideful to know that while he hadn't been present to the whole thing, Jak took it personally to see that no others had to suffer a fate of Nik's or worse.

Still she was nervous upon returning home that night, afraid that he'd soon be struck again. Making certain he took to cleaning up in the bath, she pitched a few holy spells around her house. Wards in hopes to keep the very beings from entering. She could hope.

Though her night was fraught with no sleep, and it continued for the few nights making damn certain no one was exploiting another soul in her midst.

By this day, it wasn't hard to tell she was worn out but it meant little. Someone she was affectionate for had been harmed in ways she wouldn't ever be able to understand, it left her uneasy - which was putting it lightly. It didn't help that the city was starting to bustle getting ready for the upcoming festival to bloom in their streets.

She sat out on the front step cross legged, the bowl of fresh fruit beside as she watched the one young ward Mothis swinging around a stick in the front yard. His sister having been taken to see her legitimate father for a while leaving the youngster bored and a little lost without her. "Lyra!" he whined realizing she had zonked out for a moment, jolting her gaze upwards knuckling her eyes allowing the sheepish look to spread to her face.

"Oh that was... great Mothis."

"You weren't even watching!"

"Sure I was, you did that uh-" Crap what did he do, "Oh you know the back arch with the stick swiping at the long grass."

"No I didn't," he looked at her in sheer unamusment. Lyra laughed gently, "Lyraaaaa-"


"I'm watching, I'm watching...." he frowned at her and turned to continue, "The back of my eyelids maybe." she sighed rubbing her face furiously, shaking her head to attempt to wake herself up, she opened one eye over the other seeing if that would help her focus longer.
 
The reactions everyone gave to what had happened to him shocked Nik probably more than it should have. He'd been getting better about accepting himself, but that didn't mean he always expected everyone else to and to know, to see that he was cared for touched a deep part of him that was only occasionally reached. He'd been grateful to Jak and to Lyra and while he'd been quiet, he had expressed as much before going home. The wolves had stayed that night, all six of them curled up in their canine forms in his bed much to Lyra's grumbled protests. Nik had slept though. For the first time in nearly a month, he slept and he didn't dream.

That was only for the first night, however, as the ones that followed brought nightmares of the worst kind, Lyra dying in every single one, sometimes of her own injury and other times by his hand. He'd almost lost her too many times already even if one of those times was just in his head. When the terrors woke him at night, he would leave his room and go to Lyra's, just to look at her for a little while, to reassure the part of him that just couldn't be convinced that she was fine. He never stayed long, never touched her or spoke. He just needed to see her. So passed the nights and the days were better, but still...off. They seemed not to really let each other out of their sights. Neither one mentioned it - just as they didn't mention how tired the other one looked - but it was there all the same.

Nik pushed open the door, the slight creaking the only sound to give him away as he padded silent-footed to her side and sank down. His shoulder touched her own in what seemed to be a natural way now and Nik reached up behind her to card his fingers through her long hair, nails lightly grazing her scalp as he looked sidelong at the she-elf with a slight smile. "Ever the attentive teacher." It was a soft tease and only meant as such.

He turned his pale eyes to Mothis, watching the boy for a moment before looking back to Lyra, smiling slightly at what his fingers were doing to her concentration on top of her being tired. He wished he could help her sleep better, could help himself sleep better, but not even the wolves' presence could soothe his mind anymore and they'd gone back out to the woods at his request. He didn't need to be waking them up any longer.
 
The door swung open as his footsteps came from behind only allowing himself to plop down taking a roost in playing with the loose length of her hair, without her caring he did so. It seemed to become one of his habits and honestly, it didn't bother her. It didn't help either at this specific moment, as she was trying to focus her attention to Mothis with a greater failure rate than she wanted.

Rubbing one eye she chuckled to his teasing, "I'm trying to be, thought in honest truth-" she turned to face him fully blowing out her lips, "I can't seem to focus long enough on him than I can on the back of my eyelids."


Stifling a yawn, shoulders shrugged and rolled before she let her arms flop between her legs. "We've been invited to the festival coming up," she glanced lazily to her side picking up the bowl of fruit and setting it back down closer to the male, though she picked up a slice of apple herself. "Apparently something about making an good appearance due to all the activity we have been having. Jak wants us to ease the worries of Faradar citizens. Something about me being wounded and that damn b***h attacking your mind has managed to filter and make the patrons worry." Lyra nibbled thoughtfully for a second before she started to giggle. "I think us making appearances was in the contract of marriage but I couldn't tell you if it was. I don't remember any of it."
 
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Nik chuckled at her comment about her eyelids and to make matters even worse for her, his fingers found her neck, rubbing gently, thumb finding the knots under her skin rather effectively. The touch wasn't hurried or cautious or expecting. It just was and his fingers seemed to alternate between running through her hair and rubbing muscles that he instinctively knew were sore without care or rhyme.

He tilted his head, thoughtful about the mention of a festival. Sidhe had those every solstices, but Nik had never enjoyed them. He was learning, though, not to judge the elves by what he knew of the Sidhe and instead of instantly being wary of the suggestion, he let curiosity take over instead. It could be fun and if Lyra and her family were going to be there - and Lyra wasn't cringing at the thought - then it couldn't be bad....or at least not all bad.

It was her last sentence that made him laugh softly outright and he took a piece of fruit, taking a bite and letting her blond hair fall from his fingers in a wave before replying, a smile still on his lips. "I can't remember a word either. I think I was numb during the whole thing. Seems like a lifetime ago." he remarked softly, that memory distance and seeming like an entirely different place in time, unimportant.
 
"You're telling me," Lyra shivered in a late response to his touch though she ignored it, she rocked her chin back and forth. "Three and some months... we've had more experiences in that time than I think I have through my twenty some years." she shrugged sighed stretching her arms up over her head. "A vida no seu mellor."


"Though if we attend that, we ought to get some sleep. I know I need it and you look as exhausted as I feel." she brought it up, "I don't know about you but mama is planning on bringing some herbs later to help with sleeping. As much fun as it is to be an owl, I'm finding it to be a damper on all the things I could do in the day time."
 
Nik found himself sighing, but not tensing or avoiding the subject like he might have just a week or two ago, and the halfbreed moved his neck, letting it crack before he yawned widely. Mentions of this elusive thing called sleep caused that reaction a lot and now pale blue eyes looked sidelong into azure. "I think I would be amendable to taking whatever herbs your mother brings." It was an acknowledgement that he suffered from the same sleeplessness even if such a thing wasn't needed between them at the moment and Nik took another bite of an apple piece before he spoke again, taking another step.

He'd promised no more. No more keeping things hidden and trying to handle them alone, and this was definitely something he couldn't handle alone. It was also something he didn't want to do alone. "Does your mother have anything for dreams?" Nik wracked his had back through his hair, the fingers in Lyra's stilling for a moment so he wouldn't do the same to her blond mane. "I keep dreaming that I lose you and...I can't keep handling that alone anymore. I can't." he admitted quietly.

It might have only been a nightmare, but it was one that hit far too close to home.
 
Her gaze widened a little, ears twitching softly before she chuckled at him gingerly. It wasn't in mocking or against him but she felt bad for him. She felt terrible for the whole thing since Arrah had done it. "I don't think any herbs are going to make you not dream Nik," Lyra lifted herself filling her lungs with a strong breath. "Do you know mortals dream?"
 
He hadn't meant to make her uncomfortable, even slightly, but Nik didn't take it back and he watched as Lyra rose up, following slowly and noting that Mothis still maintained his imaginary battle with an unseen foe. He smiled slightly at the sight of the child, wondering for just a moment if his own son would do that - or if maybe it would be fire he flung around - before he called out to the elfling. "Mothis, time to go home. I'm sure your mother is expecting you for dinner."

The white-haired male watched the child run off before he looked back at Lyra and jerked his head a little toward the house to indicate they should go inside. Mothis wasn't the only one hungry and they might as well get started on dinner. "It was worth a try." he answered in regards to the herbs and then frowned, tilting his head a little once they were in the kitchen and raising a brow at her question.

"Not personally, no. Should I?" Okay, so maybe that was a bit sarcastic, but it wasn't a mean sarcasm, just confused.
 
Watching the young lad jaunt off as she was being motioned to go inside, she followed easily enough taking the wooden bowl with before she threw him a bit of a look to his sarcasm.

Pinching her fingers as she set the bowl on the counter, she leaned against it; "Why we all dream is to solve problems our waking minds cannot. You are still dreaming about it because unfortunately for you, your mind cannot solve the problem yet." fingers twiddled as she nibbled a bit more, "You have the memory of slaughtering me - though still impossible for you-" a cocky grin touched her lips, "But you know I am alive and well, so you mind cannot process why it has this memory and yet reality cares to differ it. You know-" Lyra licked her thumb before looking at him somewhat slyly; "You can actually affect your dreams, actually take control of them to make them not what they are. You could solve it without waiting for your confused subconscious doing it for you. But how, I don't know. So in relative term I am not helpful."


Pushing herself up stretching out as she yawned, she sighed. "Either way, I am resting for a bit before my mother comes knocking and preaching." Flicking her hair off her shoulder as she past him, she threw him a look, "You're a smart man, certainly you can conquer your subconscious."
 
Nik leaned back against the counter, a contemplative look on his face as he listened to her words and his mind processed them. He knew some of this already, in theory, but had never really thought about it all that deeply and now the halfbreed bit his lip, actually putting some effort into understanding what Lyra was bringing to his attention - though, he had to smile at her jab about his skill in killing her. She was right, of course, but it hadn't been her faked memory and Arrah had done a very good job. Almost too good with how hard it was for his mind to shed the false history.

As she passed, he reached out and tugged her hair gently, affectionately, shaking his head. "Well, I can certainly try. Though, lately it's started to sound like you, so I might have trouble." It was a tease as she walked away and Nik sighed when she'd left, looking at the floor for a moment before he moved away from the counter and started to work on dinner. Night would come soon enough. Right now he'd focus on the tasks he could do now.
 
Faradar was alit with energy, chattering voices as she wandered through the crowds receiving gentle praise and grateful sights to see her up and around again, the day proved warm for this time of year. Not that anyone would complain, not they were living it up before the idea of frost and cold would bite at their noses.

Children ran through the street chasing a poor chicken as if it was the losing warrior to their flock, Jak had managed to find them out among the streetways. Overseeing many of the functions, she paused with her brother as one of the high fores was looking to see her and Nik.

Rhelic was her name and quite the attractive woman to boot. Silver hair compliment her ashy skin, while eyes hypnotic white and pink watched with an all knowing look. How old she was, she couldn't tell but she had a guess it was in her late hundreds. Still young reminding her that she was nothing but a wee tot in comparison.

"How have your both been fairing, Colonel Jakson has regaled me much about your adventures." Rhelic grinned, her voice velvety smooth easily capable of stirring a man's passion without a problem, Lyra scratched her head shyly.

"It's been interesting to say the least, rest doesn't come easy when you worry over the Prince." She was honest causing Rhelic to hum with a slow gentle nod.


"And yourself Prince Niklomaus?"
 
Nik found the town exciting like this and when a group of children ran by, he smiled, laughing easily at their antics. The atmosphere was electrifying, colors and lights and sounds everywhere but all of them good. Smiles and laughter echoed in the town square where dancing was taking place and a bonfire had been built. Music floated through the air along with the chatter and smells wafted up from nearly every street. The night was bright with mirth and serenity. It was peaceful...and frankly just what he and Lyra needed.

When they came upon the High Fore, though, he straightened a bit, his mind slipping into something more respectful and serious at Lyra's side. When they were questioned and the she-elf answered, Nik reacted without really thinking about it, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her closer until he realized exactly what he was doing and stilled, unsure how she'd react, but more wary now of pulling away suddenly than staying.

So he opted not to move, instead answering the question and knowing that if Lyra didn't want his arm where it was, then she wouldn't suffer it there long. That was one thing he could count on. "Sleep also doesn't come easy when you dream you're killing someone you care for over and over. Lyra has told me that dreams can be controlled, but I fear I lack the knowledge of how to do such a thing."
 
Surprised hum popped out of her mouth as the slipping arm came around her waist, Lyra blushed shyly at the movement but didn't make an ushering push to move it. Two reasons. One; there were many eyes watching their interactions and looking for a calm relationship that only cemented their two species tie, moving away now after that might raise a questionable ire. Second, she didn't have an issue with it. It was strange to actually feel a jump in her heart in a silly flutter that made her feel well... actually worth something.

Rhelic grinned gently, the sharp fangs within her mouth evident; she tapped her chest. "Ah your wife has a keen mind, wise too. Dreams are merely tools for us to try and understand things that happen in the days. How you may control your dreams is by practice firstly. Focusing your mind to take hold and knowing that you are in a dream, second is trying to move things in your dream. Little things and with enough practice you can manipulate your dream like a flame. It takes much strength of the mind and a pure will to learn how to control it." Rhelic chuckled, covering her lips; "Or you can just sleep with your wife to ease your mind knowing that she is right there." she said it so easily that Lyra went from a light flush to a deep red one that nearly consumed her entire face. "You two are so cute; even being married for a few months you still act as if everything is sacred."

Well it was! Now that she was mentioning it Lyra felt like she was a bit awkward, like she was entirely see through. Though that was a fore, they seen things in you that you didn't want to be open. Rhelic was tapping into her abilities without much problem. "Perhaps soon we will hear the calls of wee ones?" Rhelic raised her brow and Lyra shook her head frantically.

"I am not old enough to even conceive!" she blurted through a hushed whisper.


"Oh," Rhelic chuckled nervously, "You are still young, I thought you were in your adult years with all your titles, I just assumed. My apologizes." Lyra was covering her face, while Rhelic still giggled. Oh dear goddesses.
 
When she didn't move, Nik relaxed, feeling his heart swell and his body warm in a happy way. His arm liked its new resting place and his fingers found contentment where they laid, far more than they'd ever known before anywhere else. It was strange the things one's body said when they found the place they knew they'd always belonged. The halfbreed smiled easily at Rhelic when she complimented Lyra and he listened attentively to her description about dreams, much like Lyra's own but with some detail he might actually be able to work with.

And then she mentioned sleeping together and Nik did something he'd never done while with he elves; he blushed. Sure the words the Fore spoke were true - and he knew that just judging by how much his mind calmed while watching Lyra at night - but the fact that they'd never done it and had never thought to do it, and were not involved in that way even if Nik would have liked them to be made it slightly embarrassing to talk about. He opened his mouth to speak, not even sure what he'd say, when she spoke again and this time Nik wasn't sure how to react....because part of him wanted that very much.

He was glad he'd said nothing, though, as Lyra's small revelation came out and he glanced down at her, curious now. A smile touched his lips when she covered her face and feeling a wave of affection, the halfbreed bent down slightly so he could whisper near her ear. "There is all the time in the world for you to have children, Lyra. And only when you are ready."
 
Oh if he knew. She wasn't talking about this anymore, it was awkward and embarrassing in many ways that honestly, she was hoping more for the fact that he would have just figured out that she wouldn't be having kids for a long time.

Rhelic tilted her head grinning, "I apparently started something very awkward, but on ward," the drow smirked letting her peculiar eyes glint and sparkle under the pale moonlight and torches. "So tell me Prince Niklomaus, how has your marriage been to an out of species. I heard purely from rumour sake that Sidhe don't marry out of their own kind. It must be very interesting to be a trendsetter."

Lyra laughed nervously, "I do have to pardon us Lady Rhelic for we are uh-" eyes glanced upwards to the moons, "Oh that's right, we are suppose to make a brief appearance at the Moondial, customary tradition you know, politics and all that boring stuff," Lyra slipped out of his grasp swinging him some so she could push on his back making an escape, "Very very busy stuff, you understand."

"Certainly!" she waved to them mirthfully, "Perhaps I'll stop by and chat with you both soon."


"Dear goddesses I hope not." Lyra muttered to herself. "Don't make eye contact, and keep walking." she spoke to Nik sidling up beside him looking about as nervous as a cat who just got caught eating the house hold plant.
 
Nik was more than willing to leave with her in that moment, Rhelic managing to have touched on a topic he wasn't keen on speaking about and though Lyra pushed him, he was already moving. Hearing Lyra's muttered words, he did start laughing, though, unable to help it and he glanced down at her as she came back to his side, his grin easy as he reached up and tugged on her hair playfully. "Relax. We got away." he teased.

Pale blue eyes looked around then at where they were, loving every new thing he saw, like a child seeing wonders for the first time. When his gaze alighted on the square again, though, Nik got a strange look on his face and he glanced back at Lyra again before taking her hand and swiftly pulling her after him, knowing she wouldn't fall or stumble. Not a creature of her grace and poise. He also knew she wouldn't put up much of a protest in a crowd and he shamelessly used it against her until they joined the fray of dancers.

Only then did he let her go, giving her both a challenging and yet a hopeful look as he held out his hand, offering this time. "Dance with me, hugrekki einn?"
 
"I am thinking drows know nothing of personal boundaries," Lyra surmised openly, "Etiquette is all I'm asking for. Damn fores, they should really curb their curiosity." She let out a softer sigh at him tugging at her hair, shooing him aside allowing her gaze to be taken a hold of by the festival itself. She hadn't gone last year being out on the lines with the Sidhe as more enemies than comrades; it was a nice feeling to embrace again.

Lanterns strung up, the buzzing insects inside making a charming glow of light and show; all the shimmering gowns drawing the moonlight in ways that the sun could only wish of. It was marvelous. It brought that private smile to her deep lips though it was quickly replaced by astonishment at being pulled along through the crowd. Pardoning herself as she had to turn quickly to keep her feet right; she was released just as quick.


The hem of her dress being lifted allowing the expanse of fluster to his sudden change of direction form onto her face; she brushed her fingers across the satin fabric. "What was that-" she stopped looking up to those pale challenging eyes, the twinge of hope resting in a comfortable embrace there she drug her lip through her teeth. "Haven't I shown you up enough when it comes to grace and fluid?" dipping her finger tips into his palm, Lyra lifted her chin looking down the slow of her nose in her own challenge to him, not letting the falter of enthralling enchantment fall away from the ocean deep azure gems. "Impresionar-me o meu home cariñoso."
 
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