A las Barricadas!

Blind Hemingway

Ancient Iwaku Scum from 2006.
Original poster
Posting Speed
  1. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Douche
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Female
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
Episode One: Two Piña Coladas and a Cowgirl!

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Hello there. My name is Garnet. Yes, just like the red stone. And that’s all of my personal bio that you are going to get for now.

Up until this point, it had been one of those routine kinds of jobs. You know…The shit easy ones you choose because the local government officials are big ass pussies that can’t handle a bunch of new age Mexican bandits.

Well apparently there was a change in the plans. I am to meet up with a second. I can’t believe this shitty luck! I hate working with others! How hard is that to understand? Seriously? I work alone. The mayor’s wife should not have such political clout, as to do something like this…!

Whatever, in the end I don’t really care. As long as I get paid, I don’t give a shit whom or what they toss my way.

I decide to waste time by going into Yorksburg’s roughest tavern, called the Horny Dingoes. If it wasn’t such a stupid name, I would have laughed. From what I’ve heard, this place is full of some of the most ruthless gang leaders from the various Martian colonies. If so, I am not very impressed.


Most of them are dressed like this man, whom they called ‘Handsome’ Pete. I guess that they have run out of manly sounding names around these parts. From what I hear, he’s a part of the Scaribazi family. Lucky him. He looks like a douche.


Just then I see this girl walk in. A bloody cowgirl? Oi vey… I need more to drink to get through this day. I can tell it already.
Ruby looked around the gross sterile workspace that she had to walk through. This was certainly not befitting one of her occupation. The nerdy little Sion cubicle worker led her into a conference room that matched the stark white exterior. Ruby felt sick to her stomach from all this. She longed for the open sky, the red desert stretched out before her, Instead the only stretched out before her was a nasty conference table.

"Please sit down, the meeting will...uh...commence shortly!" The nerd smiled at her and shuffled out of the room.

"Thanks sug'!" She shouted out after him, rolling her eyes as she turned her back. Pulling Gertrude off her back and laying it on the table with a heavy THUD which Ruby was sure the whole office could hear. A small giggle escaped her lips as she pulled her jacket around her tighter and sat down gently in a chair, appearing patient when the last thing she wanted was to be here but the stolen experimental mech part was important to this company and they were going to pay her BIG bucks to retrieve it.
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Tessa walked into the bar all smiles. Normally she would be mildy annoyed at finding out she had been working for a gang (or at least one that dealt in some of the more unsavory matters), but today was different. She had a plan to make a good bit of money off of this situation...and get rid of the gangs while she was at it.

It was a pretty rough looking bar, too...

She sat down next to the only other woman in there so far. She was dressed a little provacatively...but probably wasn't that mean. Now she'd just have to wait until her contact showed up.
"Ah, bartender? Can I get a glass of milk?"
Alex drummed his fingers on this desk in a rapid pace, glancing around impatiently at the people filtering into the small conference room. Stuffy businessmen, young and old, talked in hushed and harried tones, no doubt discussing the stolen mech piece which would be the topic of the imminent meeting. Alex had just recently been propositioned by Sion Biosystems Corp. executives for his services in regards to the mech piece. This meeting would shed more light on the case, providing Alex with what he hoped would be sufficient enough information about the case.

He exhaled dramatically, feeling his patience waning with each passing second. Just then, he sensed a vibrant blur of color in his peripheral vision. His head instinctively turned, and the blur of color took the form of a petite young redhead wielding a rail gun larger than her body.

"Thanks sug'!" she called out to the timorous young office intern that had led her into the room. Alex smirked at the man's reddening cheeks as he left the office. The rest of the businessmen seemed equally flustered by the vivacious young woman's presence.

Alex did not have to ask to know who she was. Clearly, the stolen mech piece was not to be a one-man job. They had also hired her to take on the case. Perhaps it was a bigger deal than he had thought?

This should be interesting, he thought. He cracked his knuckles slowly, one by one, waiting in anticipation for the meeting to begin.
Garnet raised her right eye brow. Like normal, the rest of her face remained boringly inexpressive.

"Missie...This is a tavern, not a kiddie's stop. We don't serve milk here." The barkeep said, "There's a farm up the road for lassies like you."

While this occured, Garnet had pulled out her large butcher name, she named Hunter and began to file her nails with the blunt of the blade. Garnet would only do something like this when she knew she was going to become annoyed. While she normally spoke directly what was on her mind, Garnet had to be wary in a place such as this. One insult could start a bar fight and while she would have loved to be involved in this hypothetical fray, she had to wait for someone. Bounty hunters were just as likely to try and off each other, as they were gangsters and crooks and any premature showing of moves and fighting styles could easily put you in harms way.

However...The young woman next to her didn't seem like your run of the mill bounty hunter and with a get up she was wearing, this gals was more likely a tourist than anything else. Then Garnet got a brilliant thought in her head. If this gal tried anything stupid, Garnet would save her sorry butt and force this tourie a fee. Money was money, in the end that's all that mattered.

But first she'd have to play "nice."

"What brings a cartoon hero like you here?" Garnet then asked when she saw Tessa looking disappointed when she learned there was a lack of milk.
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Ruby shot a glance around the table, catching the eye of a white haired man. She knew his type real quick, smart, real smart but he wasn't shy with a gun either. Ruby put two and two together easily and figured they were to be partners on this particular mission. Shoot, I don't care none, just want to get paid.

Ruby parted her lips softly but it quickly turned into a smile as her eyebrow raised. She looked him dead in the eye and extended her hand, palm down as a lady should, "My, I must say it is a pleasure to meet you sir. My name is Ruby Mayhem and from the looks of this here meetin' I'd say we are to be partnahs."

She was going to add more but the workers from the company had come in right at that instance. She retracted her hand and gave a quick smile to the man before turning her gaze to who she assumed was in charge of the debriefing. He was a mousy man with dark brown hair that seemed to be graying on the sides. Perched on his nose was a rather large pair of glasses. He looked like the quintessential nerd but that didn't bother Ruby. She just wanted to get briefed, get going and get paid.

"Um, sug' can you hurry this up a little, I'm mighty thirsty and if we don't get goin' soon your little ol' part may be long gone before we can even get there..." She smiled warmly and hid her callous observations under a shroud of ladylike decency and a warm smile, making the man blush. That's right, I love nerdy men, they're so easy to convince of any little ol' thang.
"Why is it always so hard to get a glass of milk..." Tessa sighed and was genuinely disappointed for a bit.

The woman next to her started carving her fingernails with a small sword. Dang, this place was pretty rough. She spoke up, asking Tessa why she was here.
"Oh! Business, of course! If everything works out alright with a meeting I have planned here, I should be coming into a fair bit of money tonight."
She laughed a bit, somewhat nervously.
"Though, truth be told, I have no idea what my contact is supposed to look like..."

At the mention of money and a meeting, some of the gangsters in the back of the bar started talking amongst themselves, but quieted down quickly and decided to just watch.
Alex chuckled at the effect Ruby was having on the businessmen. They were fumbling and falling all over themselves in their efforts to look composed.

"Alright! Let's get this meeting started!" stammered the mousy man at the head of the desk. Alex could tell Ruby was happy that the pace had quickened. She didn't seem to be the most patient person.

"So," he continued, "we are gathered here because of the stolen item, which is the experimental mecha part. This stolen part is crucial to our evolving knowledge and understanding of mecha's capabilities - we must retrieve it! ...So.... We have hired two professionals to assist us in getting back our part." He turned towards Alex and Ruby.

Alex gave a small wave.

"Alex Richter," he said, introducing himself.

The man continued: "The part is very important to us. It is the unit's weapon system! Here... you can see its blueprint, layouts, so you could identify it before your eyes." He thrust a paper to the center of the desk, revealing wide, tortuous sketches illuminating long, cylinder-like weapons, jet black, with SION imprinted on them in red letters. It would not be hard to miss. Alex glanced over the sketches and outlines of the mech model, imprinting them in his mind.
Ruby was indeed pleased that things seemed to be moving along a bit quicker now. She listened to the man stammer out the request that the SBC wanted. Pouting her lips slightly in thought she crossed her legs gently taking a look at the men gathered as he called them professionals. Ah like the sound of that, professional.

"Ruby Mayhem for ya'll that didn't hear my introduction before." She winked to the men, not paying attention to any of the swooning she was assured to get from that, her attention drawn directly back to the meeting leader as he continued. The sheet that he had handed to Alex drew her attention immediately, pulling Gertrude off the table and setting the gun upright on one end, holding it up easily. Ruby studied the image, knowing she'd only retain a basic mental image of it.

"So how do ya'll think me and Mister Alex here are getting out to where ya'll think your lil' ol' part is at?" Ruby turned her gaze back to the leader.

"Well, um, we have a shuttle for you and it is prepped to go as soon as this meeting is over of course we would like to share the specs and possible culprits of this theft."

"Uh huh sug' that's nice, I'm guessin' it's a rival corporation somewhere maybe even off planet that is tryin' to trump ya'll by stealin' your own weapon and usin' it against you. Ya'll probably need better security." Ruby smiled, cracking her knuckles and shooting a smile at Alex.
Aramis was grouchy, a sort of woke up on the wrong side of the bed grouchy. He heat of the day already indicated that it wasn't going to be pleasant and the scorching sands surrounding this building would make his feet sweat almost instantly in his boots. And Aramis liked to be comfortable. With a sigh, he pulled a stal crust of bread from his pocket. This was the food that had been sustaining him for days but finally he was here. The wife of the mayor of this town had contracted him to help her out. A pretty old bat, she was, and she seemed sweet enough. She had money. That was enough, really.

Aramis felt strangely as though he were on the brink of something but he just couldn't determine what it was. Either way, there was money to be had and Cinder whispered in his ear the wonderful things he could do with money. A real meal, he thought dreamily, bread and beans AND meat. Ember merely laughed at him.

Finally deciding to be on his way, Aramis sauntered out the door and onto the path leading him to something new, something unimaginable. A real meal. Ember laughed some more.
Heh, she's a real charmer, isn't she? Alex thought, silently amused by her playful manner of teasing. The businessman balked at her mention of their lack of security.

"Err, yes, we have taken that into account..." He shuffled the papers in his hands, scanning them blankly once more. "Um, so yes. Alright. The shuttle will be bringing you two downtown, where a few of our colleagues will be waiting for you at a bar called Tauros Cavern. They'll be incognito, of course, and will approach you when you get there. See, we have reason to believe that illicit gang activity have their members situated there, and we'd like to have them interrogated... get any information from them that we can. This is where things get complex... so listen close."

Alex's eyes widened. He noticed the man's lower lip twitch, the vein in his temple pulsate, and the myriad beads of sweat forming an intricate mosaic across his forehead. Something dire must be occurring... something told him this was more than just your run of the mill greed and avarice.

"There have been rumors floating around for a while concerning an underground group that branched off of the larger Banditos chain. The only name we've heard attributed them thus far has been The Sharks... and apparently, this group is run by a charismatic demagogue with political and ideological aspirations of truly disturbing and devious intent. We don't know what kind of cultish philosophy he has exacted from his followers... but we have reason to suspect that they are the culprits that have stolen our highly valuable mech pieces, because the power that they could wield with the correct usage of that part would give them full reign and control. I can't imagine how they'll fuse our stolen mech piece with their other illicitly acquired technology to make their corrupt ideals manifest..."

A chilling silence ensued the weighted words of the businessman, who's previous awkwardness had been overshadowed by his foreboding warning.

"Cultish... philosophy? What kind of group is this exactly?" Alex asked.

The man shook his head. "I... can't say with certainty. You two will become better informed by our colleagues at the cavern."

Fucking christ, who knows how sick this could really get, Alex thought, his adrenaline pulsing a curiously pleasurable beat in his veins.

"Ruby? You ready to get into this?" he said, turning to his to-be companion.
"I see." Garnet said. The young woman's eyes then narrowed. "Did this woman just say she was here looking for a contact?" Garnet thought. She'd have to press this topic some more. "Well, in general contacts are always the people that seem the most out of place. Of course, in this case, you seem to be a fish out of her little pond. So good look finding whomever you are looking for."

"Say Miss," The barkeep spoke to Garnet, "Didn't you say you were also looking for a contact? It'd be ironic, if you two were looking for each other!" A short man with purple colored shades then said. He wore a white suit and had a fedora on. In all actuality, he was just trying to look like a total bad ass in a sea of punk rockers. He was almost as out of place as Tessa was.

"I said no such thing to you." Garnet said in reply.

"But you....Weren't you hired by my family to help take care of those dumb Banditos?"

"I did, no such thing," Garnet then pointed Hunter at the nerdy looking man.[

"Hey, hey! That's no way to treat someone important like me! I am Peter Scaribazi and my family owns this here joint and if you don't behave Missy, well I'd hate to see such a pretty face end up all beaten and bruised."

"I'm so impressed." Garnet said while whipping Pete the middle finger.
Ruby was glad Alex was asking all the questions because it allowed her to sit back and listen to the information. As the meeting leader explained about the group that they were figuring had stolen the mech part.

The Sharks huh? Well shoot, I ain't ever heard of no Sharks. And that meetin' leader thinks they're tryin' some political coup huh? Well it must serious because my good mood with all these gents jes got shot down like a star cruiser in military space. There must be somethin' here that I'm missin'.

"So ya'll are sendin' us downtown to fight off some sort of cult? Well, I reckon I won't be drinking none of their punch!" Ruby laughed loudly trying to lighten the mood a bit, looking like it was to no avail.

Her gaze shifted back to Alex as he asked if she were ready and she nodded, a grin on her face. "I've been antsier then a jackrabbit on a griddle to get goin' so let's get goin'!" Ruby smiled as she stood up, swinging Getrude's strap around her onto her back. The mousy man leading the meeting nodded and smiled shyly, leading the way back out of the conference room as the rest of the men went into a quiet buzz of conversation amongst one another. Ruby shot a glance back to Alex, "Ready sug' I know I sure am. And if this all goes to plan, well shoot, it'll be over faster then a knife fight in a phone booth!"

The way down to the ship was rather inconvenient as Gertrude kept smacking a few office workers along the narrow walkways. But once they were into the garage things widened out and Ruby fell back to walk next to Alex. "Looks like we'll be havin' a good ol' time downtown ya hear?" She nudged the man in the side with her elbow playfully.
"H-hey! There's no need to be that rude to the man...you should apologize to him." Tessa sighed, a little bit exasperated from everything before continuing.
"Well, it's good to know you're here then, Pete! I'm supposed to be meeting with someone from your family about that messed up drug convoy a while back. I trust you've brought a sufficient amount of funds for me to share my knowledge?"

The entire room fell silent.
Tessa nudged Garnet's side with her elbow. "...Why is everyone being creepy all of a sudden?"
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"Yeah, yeah...There be no hatin' on me." Pete said. He looked offended that Tessa had the nerves to make him out to be a fool in front of all his buddies.

However, both Tessa and Garnet had bigger things to worry about.

"It's because these fuckers want to dance." Garnet then grinned as she sheathed Hunter and pulled out both of her Government .45 pistols. "Who wants to dance first?" She then taunted.

Garnet was the sort that loved to pick a fight with punks. Whether it was an instinct or just her need for a cheap thrill, this turn of events proved to be just what she needed. Just then one of the more muscular members of the gangs came running up towards Garnet and Tessa with a long pool pole! Garnet charged right at him, causing Tessa to fall flat on her butt. "Goddamn spies!" The man growled. Garnet then just grinned as she crashed right into his stomach, making the foe fall back on to a table!

"Who else?" She taunted.

Just then more of the gangsters came charging at them!
As Aramis slinked into town, he heard the sounds of a scuffle nearby. Only he would have such luck - maybe they were fighting over food? It was a decent chance and very enticing. Cinder hissed something about him being an idiot unless he was well fed, which he couldn't really argue with. He was certain there was meant to be a warning, a discouragement from making his way toward the sound, but if so he did not pay it any heed. Following by ear, he came upon what seemed to be the source of the sounds. There was no food, he noted instantly. It really probably wasn't worth sticking around, but he was curious now.

It was a group of girls and some weedy looking men trying to be tough. Cinder insisted he help the girls, chivalry or something along those lines, she kept saying in a seething tone. He wasn't overly bothered, and Ember was keeping mostly silently, occasionally adding the off comment that Aramis couldn't decipher. He watched as the women rallied to put up a fight, his main question right now....

Which side would have food for him if he helped? Probably not the men, they looked underfed themselves. Aramis edged closer to the women.
Alex furrowed his brow, glancing at the small car that would bring them to the tavern.

"A good time... let's hope your optimism is wisely felt," he responded, sliding into the backseat. Alex and Ruby nestled comfortably into the seats which were plush and roomy thanks to the wealth of Sion. The driver turned to them and looked them over.

"You guys are on the task?" he asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. His eyes passed over Ruby's endowments and her large gun, and then gave Alex's somewhat scrawny frame and grey suit a cursory glance.

"Um, yeah?" shot back Alex. What exactly was the man trying to say?

"Don't make snide judgments just because she's a lady, I'm sure she'll prove to be much more competent than a chauffeur."

The driver opened his mouth and then closed it, shock straining his features, his lip twitching in muffled indignance. Alex stared at him, challenging to correct him and say that he too was included in his hasty judgment. But the driver said nothing and turned around, starting the car.

Alex turned to Ruby.

"Alright, so... I guess we don't know what to expect. But we should have some kind of plan. I assume that once we get there, they'll want us to do some kind of investigation on members of the Sharks that are already there. You already well equipped, as am I..." he paused, and then patted his waist line with a smile, feeling his various handguns tightly holstered on his waistline underneath his jacket. "So we shouldn't act hastily till we both agree on it."

He glanced over Ruby's shoulder, watching the streets whiz by. The area was gradually becoming seedier, the stores more laden with graffiti, the streets littered with garbage and shady people that disappeared in and out of alleyways and decrepit doorways.
Ruby shot Alex a sideways glance as they stepped into the car. She liked him, and for better or worse trusted him. Sitting down in the comfortable seating Ruby adjusted Gertrude as to not dig into her back. Her admiration for Alex also grew as he told off the driver. A smirk came to her face as the driver gave her one last glance before starting the car.

"Right, a plan. Well it depends on the contacts, if they're men I'd hope you'd let me do the talkin, seein as I have a way with them, except you, which is still a bit of a mystery to me sug' but that makes ya'll all that more interestin' to me." She gave a lavish wink to the man next to her before following his gaze out the window. The car would be there in no time.

"Well, let's use a code word before we start with the shootin'. How about sassafras? That ain't a word most folk will be sayin' I think. But if ya'll can think up another one I'll be more'n willin' to use it." She smiled, looking at the lumps in his coat's waistline and patting her own guns on her hips and then Gertrude.
Garnet then glanced to her right, a new man was now trying to make his way towards them. This was Aramis. Her eyes then narrowed, he had a handsome face and long hair. This was common in these parts of space, the real question was why did he seem so damn familiar?

"Where I have I encountered this wanker before?" Garnet thought to herself. There'd only be one way to find out. She'd bring the fight towards him to find out!

"Okay Cowgirl. Your turn to make these bastards dance. I'll take care of the pretty boy coming our way." She then pistol whipped one or two of the gangsters that were still in her way and tried to kick one or two just for the hell of it. Garnet had a mission and these guys where in her way!

Soon she was nearly face to face with Aramis, "Alright, you. I don't normally tango with just anyone. But for some reason my brain is saying we've met in the past, so let's tango." She then pointed her Government .45s at him!
Aramis stood for a moment, letting what she had said process in his mind. Typhoon seemed to burn the skin of his back where they were tied, but Cinder and even Ember were unamused. He hadn't done anything, if she knew he wanted food and she didn't have any, why not just say so? Maybe she thought he was threatening her, a logical assumption to make but a touch unfair, he thought and then returned to the matter at hand. What would he do? She wasn't anything he was contracted to kill, he was fairly certain. Pretty enough though. He wouldn't be caught staring at her chest while she had a gun pointed at him, but he had observed that she seemed to have a nice one.

Aramis realized she probably expected some sort of retaliation for what she was doing, a retort or defense and he weighed his options. "I'm not really in the mood for dancing, thank you all the same ..." Ember howled with laughed and Cinder began making the sounds she did when Aramis was being dense on purpose, the pained sound of irritation. The noise was becoming a bit much. Since he couldn't very well ask her to be quiet, a polite conversation and all, he hissed at Cinder instead, the more irritating of the two "Quiet, Cinder". With a second thought, he returned to the woman with a gun. "I'd be willing to help you all out, though, if you had some food. Or maybe just point me to some food if you don't want help. Or give me some if you have extra".