Your Morning Ritual

  1. Hate myself for positioning my alarm/phone on the desk.
  2. Get out of bed to turn the bitch off.
  3. Check messages.
  4. Dress.
  5. Walk to shop, get breakfast.
  6. Walk to work.
  7. Make said breakfast.
  8. Eat.
  9. Work.

Will prolly change next month as then I'll have a kitchen in my apartment instead of at work.
 
5:00 am - Obnoxious alarm goes off.
5:00am - 5:50am - Hit snooze button at 10 minute intervals.
5:50am-6:00am - Wander aimlessly through the house until finally reaching the coffee pot and start the brewing process. and check Iwaku.
6:00am-6:30am - Take a long hot shower.
6:30am -6:45am- Decide what to wear... change mind 7 times.
6:45am-7:00am - Talk to @Muna and laugh at her trying to get her daughter ready for school.
7:00am-7:01am -Think for a moment I should get my shit together and stop procrastinating.
7:01am-7:30am - Sit on couch while doing makeup, watching tv, and lurking the Cbox. (mostly the latter 2.)
7:30 am - "FUCK I need to get my car warmed up!"
7:32am - 7:50am - Rush to brush my teeth, do my hair, feed the dogs, etc...
7:50 - Rush out the door and speed to work.
8:00 - Tell myself tomorrow will be different. I know I'm lying.
8:00-8:10 - Get coffee for boss to excuse my tardiness.
8:15 - Arrive at work 15 minutes late. Smile innocently to boss who shakes their head slowly. Gives them coffee and all is forgiven!

HUZZAH!
 
Starting at 6:30:
  • Thrash around in bed trying not to wake up but simultaneously trying not to fall asleep
  • Actually get out of bed and shower while brushing teeth (yes, I brush my teeth in the shower)
  • Blow-dry hair
  • Pick out clothes
  • Put on makeup if necessary
  • Feed dog
  • Kick husband out of bed
If after doing these things, it is later than 7:30, I am out the door on the way to work. If it is before 7:30
  • Brew coffee in magical coffee machine (Keurig) to put in travel tumbler
  • Grab a few slices of bread or whatever fruit is available for breakfast
  • Out the door
 
How I wish my weekday mornings were:

6:00: Wake up, snooze for five minutes, roll out of bed and go to the toilet.
6:15: Get dressed
6:20: Cook breakfast and eat it
6:45: Last touch-ups (brush my teeth, brush my hair, maybe some light make-up)
7:00: Get out of the house and walk to the bus-stop
7:12: Take the bus to Uni

How my weekday mornings actually are:

6:00: Wake up, snooze for 45 minutes because I'm not actually conscious until then
6:45: Panic. Rush to the bathroom, take a piss, run to the kitchen to drink a glass of water/juice/milk and fill up my water bottle, run back to the bathroom and brush my teeth, run back to my room to pull whatever somewhat clean clothes I can find
7:04: Burst through the front door and sprint to the bus stop because otherwise I'll miss the bus and the next one won't arrive for another half hour and I won't make it in time for class
7:10: Arrive at the intersection before the bus stop and see the bus roll away, two minutes early. Again.
7:11-7:42: Stand at the bus stop (there are no benches to sit on, and no cover from the wind/rain/snow/volcanic eruptions) while enjoying the feeling of my bowels waking up, making me insanely hungry and have to shit at the same time. Take a sip from my water bottle and cry.

Know what the worst part is? The only thing I lied about/made sound more extreme than it actually is was the part about the bus arriving early. It only does that sometimes.

I'm not a morning person at all...
 
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