You Don't Know Me

Discussion in 'ROLEPLAY GRAVEYARD' started by Ravenbelle, Feb 26, 2014.

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    Name: Serena Daniels
    Age: 18
    Appearance:
    [​IMG]

    Dark navy blue eyes with black/blue hair. Height: 5'1 Weight: 105 lbs

    Personality: Serena is very reserved and doesn't like talking about herself. She has one or two friends if you count her ferret, Liberty:
    [​IMG]

    Around strangers, she tends to be uncomfortable and shy, but as they get closer, they'd see a compassionate, book-loving, and honest young woman. She usually acts mature for her age and takes things too seriously most days, but for the most part, you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone as witty and sweet as Serena.
    But under all her masks and smiles, she has a dark side she's never let show and her self-esteem is too low by average standards.

    History: Serena used to be the most outgoing, fearless kid on the block. She'd take any dare anyone gave her and made friends with anyone who looked even the least bit interesting to her. But then, things changed. She was 13 when he took her virginity and that's remained a secret since it occurred. Absolutely no one but Serena and that man know the horrifying event ever even happened. She knows what he looks like and he haunts her nightmares often, but she hasn't seen him in reality since. She didn't talk to anyone for a week after that and still sometimes flinches at a raised hand in her personal space or an unexpected touch. Kids who used to know her made up rumors about why she changed so much, but the stories have long since died with her innocence and she's now known as a goody-two-shoes by most of her high school.
    Her parents have always been strict and overbearing as well. They get mad at her for the slightest faults and never expect anything but the best. This is precisely the reason they don't know Serena as a person, but more of a student. She's usually irritated and feels weighed down by a ball and chain at her house, but she convinces herself they only want what's best for her. Not like she really deserves freedom anyway.




    Serena snapped out of her latest daydream when the loud wailing of the bell rung, rushing everyone in her psychology class to lunch in the cafeteria of Broadley High. Serena sighed, packed her things up at her leisure and strolled to the library. Normally her friend Tracey would have dragged her to the cafeteria and babbled on about her latest role in the school play, but she was sick at home with a cold. It's getting pretty cold outside these days and it'll probably start snowing sometime next month. Serena never minded though. She's a bit of a pluviophile and the rain and snow are always fun to stand in.

    Serena zipped up her leather jacket and sat down on the floor of one of the isles in the fiction section, crossing her jean-clad legs indian style. Hardly anyone comes back here during lunch time so it's a nice place to munch on her apple and read her favorite book all over again. So, Serena pulled out her tattered copy of Romeo & Juliet and opened to Act II, letting herself be swept away into the story where she could watch its events play out in her mind's eye.
     
    #1 Ravenbelle, Feb 26, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2014
  2. Show Spoiler
    VALSHE MORE VALSHE ALL OF DE VALSHE.jpg
    Name: Jonathan Vale
    Age: 18
    Height: 5'9"
    Appearance: Light blue eyes and golden, shot blonde hair. Slim and only slightly muscular.
    Personality: Jonathan is a quiet boy, usually. He doesn't like talking to others, and treats most with no interest when he meets them. The girls think of him as a prince sent from heaving and yet... he doesn't care. Seeing as he doesn't care about love after all of the things in his life weighing him down.

    Around people unfamiliar to him, he's rough and blunt. He speaks shortly and never a word in vain. He seems like a tough guy, having never lost in a fight, and he's always up for an argument. Even in school, he's not good at putting up appearances, so most know him as a dark and mysterious character, leading the girls to be oh-so interested in him. Yet there was a time when he was happy and witty, cool and always good to anyone.
    After a certain incident in his past, that changed pretty drastically, and he decided to become a rather popular badboy instead. He changed schools a lot when he was smaller, and already when he got in this school, he was a bad person.

    Jonathan's parents are both dead. He was born into a normal family, but his father died in a car accident when he was very small. Her mother, blaming herself for his death, drugged Jonathan for a slow death and hung herself in the living room. Jonathan, to his own luck, threw it all up and was therefore saved when the ambulances arrived. But that was after having seen his mother's corpse dangling from the rope in the ceiling. He had been about 11 at the time, and after that he'd gotten thrown off to a foster home, and in and out of mental facilities he went. He went to so many sessions after his mother's death that he got tired of it, and people thought he was mad until he turned 16 and finally managed his way out of the facility. No one on his current school knows about it, and he pretends that his parents now are his real ones because he doesn't want to explain what happend to his actual parents so many years ago. He started being violent because he couldn't deal with his own sadness and he didn't want people to pity him.


    When the bell rang loudly, Jonathan decided to get his move on. People were probably inviting him to lunch, but he muttered something about a foul headache and went off to the library instead. He looked like the last person to go to a library with his leather jacket and ripped pants, along with all of the piercings in his ears. Nevertheless, he walked there without a second thought, because out of all places in the school, the library was his sanctuary that he never told anyone about. He didn't have many friends, and certainly didn't mind that. It was cold outside, and it seemed to start to rain soon, probably. He loved the rain, it cooled down his heated anger.

    When he reached the library, he steered towards the fiction section. He went through the rows of books before picking out one, with a grey front page reading "The Clockwork Angel". The cover was of a young man with a stick and a hat, and it looked to take place in the 1800s. He sat down not long from Serena, crossing one leg over the other as he flipped up on a random page. He always loved reading through this, the first book of the series, remembering all of the different emotions coming with reading the book.
     
  3. Serena heard Jonathan approach, but didn't pay attention to him until he got close. Most don't sit in the book isles, but maybe she wouldn't know since she isn't in the library at lunch most days. Her wide eyes flickered up from the pages of her book and glanced at the newcomer. Mr. Vale. he knew him. Or rather..she knew of him. School mystery. The blonde was an enigma too enchanting for the popular girls to chatter and gawk at. She had never associated with him in school even if he was in some of her classes. She sat at the front, him in the back most of the time. But she'd never been able to see him up close before. There was a weird memory struggling to be recalled from the dark corners of her mind. Serena had definitely seen him before...but from where? or when?

    She seemed to be staring at him reading Clockwork Angel, but her head was elsewhere now, searching her memories for his face. A younger version of it danced in the edges of her mind eyes' vision, but it seemed just out of her reach. Until he met her gaze. Serena blinked, remembered, and bit her lip hard.
     
  4. Jonathan knew how he was viewed around the school. The mysterious dark prince, all that fancy and annoying stuff that weren't true. Did girls really like guys who had been into mental facilities half of his life and watched his mother die? He couldn't believe their nerve. It was obvious that his past had been dreadful with the way his eyes always looked so dull. Changing from his old, happy little child self to an expressionless 11-year old was a drastic change but everyone refused to see it, always told him that he was just a bit strange, but he certainly wasn't insane. Well, if they asked his psychologists maybe they'd be a bit more clever. He hadn't associated with her before, either. Mostly so because she was a girl, and unlike other boys, girls didn't interest him. He didn't ogle at them like guys did or searched indecent things up on the internet. He lived an isolated life in the world of his books. Aside from his current book, all he read was historical books. Fact books. It just added to his emptiness that he only studied all the time. When he wasn't studying, he ate, and he slept. He wasn't interested in anything.

    He could feel her staring at him but decided not to react at first. Though at some point it got a bit too much for him and he glanced up at her, his unnaturally blue eyes meeting hers in that fleeting moment. "What do you want?" He simply stated, with no trace of emotion in his voice. Not even annoyance. Just... emptiness. But something in him stirred when he saw her face.
     
  5. Those unforgettable cerulean eyes met her dark pair and she blanked, unaware that she had been staring. Why were they so empty? If eyes really were the windows to the soul it didn't look like he had one. And if hers was visible, it'd be stained, tainted with dark thoughts and broken memories.

    Serena hesitated, unsure of what to say. It's not like she could tell him 'oh i saw you a few times when I was a happy kid and then I was raped and never spoke to you again before you moved away'. Yeah that definitely wouldn't work.
    Serena slammed down a wave of other memories and locked them tight again, only unable to keep them that way in sleep.

    She probably looked like a deer in the headlights right now so she stuttered out a response that was no less embarrassing than her previous expression. "Oh uh nothing. S-sorry I didn't mean-- I just thought that...well nevermind. Sorry." Great Job Idiot.
    She scolded herself and looked down with her bottom lip between her teeth again.
     
  6. Jonathan didn't feel like he had a soul. As before mentioned, he just felt empty. Empty in all kinds of ways, including his soul. He knew of the pain that was in Serena's eyes, and it caused him to recognize her. But he didn't say anything just yet, instead just waited for her to state what business she had with him. Whatever it was that she wanted with him.

    Jonathan didn't say a thing, rather just observed her for what seemed like hours. He didn't really know what to say to her just yet as he tried to work it out in the least awkward way he could. Personally he wanted to leave, breaking something on his way to prove a point, but he couldn't.
    He could see how memories locked inside of her mind, so deep inside that she probably thought no one would see it. But Jonathan knew all to well what it was like to hide away.

    Jonathan was surprised at how embarrassed she sounded. He didn't find anything to be embarrassed about for her. He knew that she wanted something with him. Not just to stare at him. "You're Serena, right? The girl from back then." He simply said once again, keeping his amount of words to a minimum.
    He wondered why she seemed so nervous, biting her lip and looking away and all those other things that signaled that she was nervous and awkward.
     
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  7. Jonathan waited for a while, apparently waiting for her to actually answer his question. Those eyes kept their lock on her and her heartbeat sped up. Oh God she shouldn't have said anything...stupidstupidstupud Serena.

    The force of his empty stare made her pull her knees tighter to her chest. She kept her gaze to herself, afraid she had offended the mysterious male before.
    She definitely remembered what he was like so long ago. Images of his frightened features flashed in her mind. Back then, the fearless Serena had tried to make friends with him, but she never made it quite far after...Stop thinking you idiot!! Now is NOT the time or place! Serena winced, then whipped her head to the blonde when he next spoke.

    "Back then...yeah. Uhm..I remember you." She replied catiously. Serena grit her teeth, nervous about where this conversation would take her and how he'd react. There was a part of her that kept her tethered to the ground speaking to Jonathan rather than standing and avoiding him forever more. There was something about him..He's like a puzzle. A mystery she couldn't resist trying to solve.
     
  8. Jonathan was well aware that Serena didn't know how to answer him. When he got his answer, he smiled sadly and looked down at his hands. His eyes were still expressionless. "I'm sorry. I should've done something to help you... back then."

    He looked back up at her, his cold, blue gaze piercing hers, but it seemed as if he was looking through her, as if he couldn't see her at all. He wasn't offended at all from the time it took her to answer him.
    He also knew from the way she was acting that she knew exactly who he was, and what had happened so long ago. "I know you thought you could hide it..." He said as he looked down into the pages of the book. "But I'm not just anyone. Some would call me insane, others intelligent. But all I know is that I see the sides of people that they try to hide. The secrets they harbor in their heart."

    He looked up at her, pointing a finger towards his eye. "It's all shown in your eyes. The way you looked back then..." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I should've done something. You still have nightmares about him, don't you? Nightmares that won't leave you alone." He smiled as he brushed a lock of hair from his face, though there was no happiness in his smile. "I suppose that I know how such a thing feels. To have nightmares of your past."
     
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  9. "I'm sorry. I should've done something to help you... back then."He answered, eyes cold. Serena shook her head, indicating that he didn't need to apologize. She didn't-couldn't have done anything to help him either.
    How would he know she needed help? She never spoke...avoided everyone back then. Maybe they shouldn't delve into the past. It would only cause both of them more pain. He met her gaze then, showing her exactly why he kept his emotions locked tight and invisible.There was irreparable damage there. Scars he wasn't willing to show. In the act of keeping his eyes icy, he revealed that he had secrets. She didn't know everything, but she knew enough not to judge him. He's been through too much.
    "I know you thought you could hide it..." He said as he looked down into the pages of his book. Serena froze. "But I'm not just anyone. Some would call me insane, others intelligent. But all I know is that I see the sides of people that they try to hide. The secrets they harbor in their heart." He looked at her and her heartbeat pounded in her ears. Her eyes widened and the more he spoke, the harder she trembled, caught in the net of his cold stare.
    "I should've done something. You still have nightmares about him, don't you? Nightmares that won't leave you alone." He smiled as he brushed a lock of hair from his face, though there was no happiness in his smile. Serena felt the vault click open. Terror.
    "I suppose that I know how such a thing feels. To have nightmares of your past."
    She wanted to stay and make up for how she ignored him and everyone in the past, but the memories were unleashed and dropped in the forefront of her mind. Serena whimpered as the flashbacks started. Somewhere in her messed up head, she wondered how Jonathan had figured it out.
    Before she could further embarrass herself, Serena stood and held onto the the strap of her messenger bag as if her life depended on it. "You don't know me. You think you do, but you don't." At least, she hoped he didn't. She winced at the smell of alcohol permeating her nose from his breath in her memory. His dark eyes. Then Serena hightailed it out of the library in a brisk, desperate trot, literally running from her past and heading for the bathroom where he couldn't follow her.
     
    #9 Ravenbelle, Feb 27, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2014
  10. Jonathan had been looking at her the whole time, and even if he knew that it wasn't his fault, he should've done something ot help her, with the pain that she had experienced in her past, with all that had happened to her.
    In some ways, Jonathan just knew... the way she flinched at touches back then, the way she didn't talk and tried to hide herself in her clothes... it was more than obvious what had happened to her. It made him feel horrible that he had done nothing about it and instead walked around in his own depressive bubble of misery, a bubble that was hard to burst. And he knew from one look that she knew exactly what was wrong with him, and just how much he had had to go through. And there was no way he could ever bring anything back.
    He could see the way his words made her nervous, made her flinch and made her uncomfortable. He wondered if he had said too much about it. He felt horrible already. For some reason, he felt horrible. Maybe because she was feeling something so similar to himself? Maybe because it was something that he had known about? He hated himself for making her feel bad about the situation, and he was really just trying to make her understand that she wasn't alone. He hated his cold glare by now.
    The way that she seemed to click made him nervous. Had he said something bad by saying such a thing? He just wanted to let her know that there was someone who knew, someone who understood what it was like to have nightmares, nightmares about pain, torment, regret and shame.
    He sighed and looked down, hoping that she wouldn't get too mad at him. Well, he figured that she would.
    Though... he could see what was happening to her at the moment. She was trembling, a look of terror on her face. An all-too obvious panic attack, a flashback to the pain she had felt at that horrible, horrible time. Of course she'd wonder why he knew such things, but he just... he couldn't answer. He just knew things without knowing why.
    He stood up as well and looked into her eyes. "I never claimed to. I just said that I know how you feel, but I don't know how you are as a person... look, I know what happened to you..." He sighed as she ran off, hooking up in his bag. Well, she was probably going to the bathroom. At this time there was nobody in the bathroom, and making sure no one was in there, he stood against the door and carefully took a deep breath. "You... you were raped, Serena. Bottling this up inside yourself won't help any of us... please just come out here..." He fell to his knees. "Look... I want to tell you something. Nobody knows this. When I was 11, my real parents all died. My father had died in a car accident not long before that time, and my mother... she... she blamed herself for it. His death. She cried over him day and night and there was no end of it. At that day... she gave me a lot of pills. I still didn't really understand, I was just 11. I felt myself get drowsy and fell asleep. Luckily for me, I ended up throwing up all of the pills I had eaten, only to see... that my mother was dead. She'd hung herself in the living room where I was lying, and she had tried to take me with her. But she didn't make that and I have to live on with the burden of my death mother resting on my shoulders. I'm clinically insane. So why don't you tell me what happened to you? Let's be two about this."
     
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  11. Jonathan followed her anyway but she didn't notice, too wrapped up in his malicious eyes and swarmy smile. She slammed the door behind her sliding down until she was curled in a ball, wide-eyed and quivering.
    Serena tried so hard to push it back, the waves of pain and fear coursing through her mind, but she couldn't quite relatch the box. It was never this flimsy before, but seeing Jonathan, hearing him say that he knew despite her never having told anyone, it was too much too quick. Most would agree she was still going through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, unable to get over the horrific event. It hung over her like a cloud, disrupting her life every time it filled with rain.
    Jonathan's voice floated through the door as she panted, trying to get her head back in her control, but his words only partially distracted her. She paid close attention to his story though, focusing on it with all her attention. If she listened to someone else and kept her mind away from him, maybe she would stop panicking.
    "You... you were raped, Serena." She flinched and whimpered. "Bottling this up inside yourself won't help any of us... please just come out here...Look... I want to tell you something. Nobody knows this. When I was 11, my real parents all died. My father had died in a car accident not long before that time, and my mother... she... she blamed herself for it. His death. She cried over him day and night and there was no end of it. At that day... she gave me a lot of pills. I still didn't really understand, I was just 11. I felt myself get drowsy and fell asleep. Luckily for me, I ended up throwing up all of the pills I had eaten, only to see... that my mother was dead. She'd hung herself in the living room where I was lying, and she had tried to take me with her. But she didn't make that and I have to live on with the burden of my death mother resting on my shoulders. I'm clinically insane. So why don't you tell me what happened to you? Let's be two about this."
    She had known that his parents were gone, but she didn't know how extreme it really was. It was too much to deal with, especially at such a young age. She hadn't been expecting him to tell her all of that so quickly because she had hardly ever seen him speak so much to anyone, much less her, Serena Daniels, his opposite. But maybe they weren't so different after all. Slowly, very slowly, Serena stood form her fragile ball and opened the door to the bathroom, stepping outside with wary, cautious eyes. She wanted to comfort him so badly, but she hardly knew him and she didn't know how he would react. Would he finally get some emotion in those blue eyes?
    "I-I'm sorry about...everything that happened. And believe me, I wish I could turn back time to help us, but why should I tell you anything? You seem to have it all figured out. What do want from me Jonathan?" She mumbled, keeping her eyes away and leaning against the door for balance.
     
  12. Jonathan knew that it was possibly a bad idea to follow her around like he did, mostly because he was scared of her running away from him or something like that. He didn't want to make her any more upset.
    But most of all, he didn't want her to hate him. For once in his miserable life, he wanted someone to like him, to care about him, to want to talk to him and not just leave him like everyone else had done in his past. He wanted for Serena to trust him, and to be the only person he ever trusted. Because he had convinced himself that everyone and anyone were bad people. But now... he just wanted Serena to think of him as more than just an angry shell of nothingness. Even if he was filled with the pain.
    Even if she would fill up with the pain, the layers of fear and regret and shame bottling up inside her in a blurry mix that she couldn't make sense of. Even then, he'd want to be the only one there to support her, to stay at her side and make her feel precious and wanted. He knew what he was feeling but couldn't admit it to himself, how he was feeling about her.
    Jonathan knew it might have been unwise to confront her about the rape part of what had happened to her early in her life. But he had to make her realize the truth of what had really happened to her. He had to make her understand that he wasn't just another of those fake people who pretended that they understood her. He understood her more than anyone else, and wanted to show it. Therefore... he told his story. A painful, heavy story that had been buried inside his heart for years. It had been a taboo in his own mind, but he was trying to break out of that circle, to show that he could tell his story to someone and not get hated from it. Everyone had said to him that he should've just taken better care of his mother and she wouldn't have died. Breaking himself down into that thought, he ended up with this immense depression that ate at his being like a predator eating its prey. He ended up at this empty state of mind, a soulless shell with nothing to live for. But now he wished he had something, something he could live for and show Serena. If he could do that, then maybe... just maybe, she would want to be his friend, want to trust him over anyone else. But how could he ask her a thing like that? Considering anything, he was in a large amount of pain a lot of the time, and he just wanted to feel some sort of security. But he couldn't, not in the state he was in. He would just end up ruining things for himself eventually.
    He stood up as she came walking out, and reached his hand out to pat the top of her head. "I don't know everything. I can say for sure that I know what happened to you, but I haven't heard your side of the story. I haven't heard you talk about how it made you feel, how scared you were... I want to know so that I can help you and be your hero and save you."
     
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  13. On some level, Serena felt relieved that someone knew, but had she made it that obvious back then what had happened to her? Did other people know how used and broken and disgusting she was? The thought made her wince. If they did, she wouldn't know. As far as she knew, Tracey didn't know. No one did...except Jonathan. And him.

    She wanted to be there for him since she wasn't able to before. When they were just kids. She could almost see it...if she had just reached out to him, they could have been good friends, hanging onto each other for comfort in a terrifying world of cruelty and helplessness. Right now, she wanted to say how honored she was that she was the one he would tell about his darkest past memory, but it just seemed so out of the blue and she was so afraid that he could use his information against her. Tortured souls sometimes end up becoming as sadistic as their torturers. She hated to think of him that way because he was just as alone as she felt, but she didn't trust him and she didn't trust herself to get close to someone else like that. That's Serena. She's a good listener because she never wants to talk about herself.

    Jonathan patted the top of her head and she tensed, not having expected it. "I don't know everything. I can say for sure that I know what happened to you, but I haven't heard your side of the story. I haven't heard you talk about how it made you feel, how scared you were..." At that, Serena looked away and bit her lip.

    "I want to know so that I can help you and be your hero and save you."

    It was a powerful statement, but his eyes...they weren't sincere. They weren't caring. They weren't even malicious. They were nothing. Glass orbs that she couldn't see past. She knew he was in pain and he wanted to lighten his load. She wanted to be that compassionate person to help him, but she didn't feel she had the capability. All this time she'd been carrying this secret that weighed on her heart and now he knew. It didn't exactly lighten the weight, but it didn't feel so constricting anymore.

    "Jonathan...I'm not some princess who deserves to be saved. You found out about me somehow and I don't know why you suddenly came forward to ask me to talk about it, but I'm not as naive as you think I am. I'm not just going to trust you out of the blue just because you told me about..about your past. Your story is safe with me and I hope mine is with you. I--" Serena was cut off by the wail of the school bell signalling the end of lunch time. She hadn't eaten anything. She sighed, gave him a wan smile and began to walk away from him and toward her next class. She had to lock herself up. Throw her walls back in place so no one could affect her like he had just now. She had to keep her eyes down and her secret locked tight. Now was not the time to cry or trust or break again.
     
  14. Jonathan only knew from it with the way that she had been in such pain back then. The way she had distanced herself from everyone, the way she hadn't wanted to talk and had ignored everything. And lastly, her illogical flinching whenever anyone touched her, even just the simplest poke on the shoulder made her cringe in fear. He had wanted to help her so badly, wanted to make her feel like she was worth anything again.

    He knew that they had to do something about it. If they had just done something back then. Maybe they could've reached out their arms to each other somehow, so they would be together about everything. If they had helped each other somehow, and comforted each other in one way or another, then maybe they could've become friends. But nothing like that had happened, and instead he was telling her this deep, painful secret of his that he had held back for so, so long that he could barely even control himself from breaking down. But he wanted to be strong in order to help her feel better. He wouldn't use anything like that against her, never. He would never torture her or make her feel bad... he just wanted trust. To be trusted by her, and to be able to trust her back. He didn't understand why that was impossible. Had he done something to make it so that she didn't trust him? His usually emotionless eyes carried a heavy sadness as he thought about it, and he knew she would see it, his first show of real emotion, but he couldn't hold it back, couldn't handle it. He just wanted her to care about him, to be able to care about her, to have a friendly relationship that would last and create something better than the pain that had been capturing them both in this darkness. This pain and loneliness could all be avoided if just they could become friends and create something else than all of the pain and suffering that enveloped them to the point of insanity. To the point where the pain mattered more than getting it out, than ridding themselves of the pain. If they could be together, then he knew that everything had a chance of being solved somehow.

    For once, he tried to be sincere. Tried to be real. But his eyes didn't show anything but sadness, but his heart had the determination to make her feel safe, the determination to do something for her. He wanted to be the one to save her, no matter what she would say or do. He knew it was a long shot to do something like that, but he would do anything for her at this very moment. It was only the pain that she had. It could be helped, he could help it, help her, for once he wanted to be able to help. Just to be able to do anything for her, really. If she wouldn't tell him, he'd find something else to help her with. He was feeling something new. She was bringing back his feelings. His feelings were coming back and they were for her. The sadness, but also a bit of hope were coming to him. Just that little bit of hope made him want to be with her forever. He wanted to make her feel worthy again, regardless of whether she wanted to tell him her story or not. Then he would be her friend, try to save her and hold her in an attempt to make her feel worthy of all the things she deserved. Because she didn't deserve that pain and suffering she was going through all of her own. If she would rather forget the story, then he'd help her with that. As long as he could become something important to her, as long as they could be friends, somehow. He bit his lip as he tried to think out a way to convey these feelings of his, this shyness and strange feeling of attraction that he was feeling.

    "I'm not saying you have to be a princess... you don't have to be that, but you still deserve help... I mean... I've always been so indifferent towards people, I haven't even cared about anyone for years... and then you show up and practically steal my heart away and make me feel so strong-minded. But I'm horrible at expressing myself, especially on the outside. I don't have any facial expressions and I just..." He was cut off by the wailing of the school bell, and as she began to walk off, he grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Wait. Don't leave me like this... you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, keep this story to yourself, but you need to know that my mouth is sealed. I wouldn't be able to do anything to hurt you, I'd feel so horrible... look... just... I... will you go with me on a walk after school? I'll wait for you at the entrance... so... I mean... please, don't run away. I want to prove my trustworthiness for you." He let go of her hand, waving at her before he left back to class, having left the book in the library long ago. He went directly to class and sat down, back into his own faceless routine. But on the inside he was so worried, and didn't know what to do or how to feel. He wanted her to trust him, for her to show up at the gates after school.
     
  15. "I'm not saying you have to be a princess... you don't have to be that, but you still deserve help... I mean... I've always been so indifferent towards people, I haven't even cared about anyone for years... and then you show up and practically steal my heart away and make me feel so strong-minded. But I'm horrible at expressing myself, especially on the outside. I don't have any facial expressions and I just..."
    Jonathan trailed off and Serena was already walking away.what kind of idiot did he think she was? Does he think he can just say these heart warming words after so many years and manipulate her emotions? No. She won't let him. She has to keep herself closed off like always and-- a strong grip held her wrist and she squeaked trying to pull it away out of reflex but Jonathan didn't let go and she didn't look back at him.
    "Wait. Don't leave me like this... you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, keep this story to yourself, but you need to know that my mouth is sealed. I wouldn't be able to do anything to hurt you, I'd feel so horrible... look... just... I... will you go with me on a walk after school? I'll wait for you at the entrance... so... I mean... please, don't run away. I want to prove my trustworthiness for you."
    Halfway through, Serena's eyes met his and she finally saw the heavy sadness there. The kind only someone with equal pain could alleviate or understand. And something shifted in her. She truly wanted to help him now, no matter what kind of cost it brought her. No consequence was bad enough to keep her away now. If he needed her...she would go with him.
    So Serena waved back as she left, went through the rest of her monotonous classes and stayed in the bathroom reading for the duration of the deafening pep rally.
    When the final bell rang, Serena found Jonathan at the front of the school and gave him a small smile of acceptance. She would walk with him. She would help
     
  16. Jonathan was a weak person of heart, and he was horrible at helping people But for once in his life, he felt something in himself that made him want desperately to protect her against everything that could hurt her. He'd stand up for her when things were toughest and most difficult. Even if she didn't trust him, he had to make her do so. He had to somehow find a way to make her trust him as a friend, anyway would be fine.
    He knew he was probably the biggest idiot in the entire world. He knew that he wasn't good at helping people, and no one trusted him. No one would be his friend and now, when he finally felt determined about a person, he felt as if he was the most socially incapable person on the planet and it made him feel like he needed to become better. He needed to become better for Serena's sake so that she would trust him more.
    He tried to convince her, tried to convey what was inside of his heart. He didn't want to force her to talk to him, so instead he tried to do what was in the middle, to make her feel a bit less hostile towards him. He wasn't a bad person of nature, he was usually not strong enough to hurt someone with his words, and he just wanted to, somehow, be liked by another person, no matter what that would bring with it.
    When her eyes met his, it was like something clicked inside her. He could see the same thing in her eyes, the understanding of how he was feeling. It was like they understood each other on a level that no one else did, and it made something similar to happiness and maybe even hope well inside him. Because if she liked him and wanted to be his friend, he had something to care about.
    He was happy when she waved back and he went through his classes with a heart that wasn't as heavy as he had expected. He tried to find a quiet place to read his books.
    When the final bell sounded, he waited eagerly for her at the entrance and when she got there, he nodded his head and they began walking. He didn't say anything, but rather waited for her to talk.
     
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  17. Jonathan nodded at her when she approached cautiously. She would only focus on him. She didn't want to talk about herself or her past or even what he did in the library. She just wanted to help him. Serena knew pain as well as he did and it was nice to feel she wasn't alone, but she still wouldn't allow him to unlock her heart.

    "So. You wanted to talk? We can head to the park if you want. If you don't mind the rain." Outside of the campus, Serena could smell the moisture in the air. It was obvious to her when a downpour was imminent. She looked a little frightened of what he might say since he had triggered a panic attack earlier, but she was willing to hear him out now. And she couldn't so easily avoid him now..
     
  18. Jonathan looked outside and noticed how it was obviously going to rain anytime soon. He took a deep breath and let out a little sigh, smiling at her. He tried to be as gentle as possible, knowing that he couldn't confront her yet. But something in him made him determined to unlock what was inside her, just slowly make her trust him. Because he wanted her trust.

    "Hm... I think it'd be better to go to my place, then. It's just near here, a big and lonely house. I'll make us some tea." He offered as he took her along, though letting go of her hand when she was following him. "I don't really want to talk. I just want you to tell me... exactly what you think I should know about you. If that's nothing at all, I'll tell about myself. How does that sound?" He looked over his shoulder at her.
     
  19. Jonathan smiled at her, but unfortunately declined her offer to stay in the rain. She loved the rain. It was probably better to head toward his house though if none of them wanted to get sick. She was already getting a stomach ache from lack of sustenance. Tea sounded perfect. He held her hand and it tingled a little as he brought her in the right direction. She nodded to his offer then made a fist when he let go of her, digging her nails into her palm as her stomach nodded.

    Serena bit her lip when he informed her that he wanted to know about her. But it wasn't too nerve-wracking. He already knew what had happened to her. What else could he want to know? Its not like she's any more interesting than anyone else. Shevs ordinary. So she'd listen to the mystery of a boy living in the lonely house. "Good." She replied, following him with a sweet smile
     
  20. Jonathan looked at her after a while, sending her a smile. "Even just trivial things are fine. I like it better that way. There's one thing that I want to tell you, though... I plan to prove to you that you can trust me. I won't force you to, but I'll make you believe that we're not all out to hurt you. Me, in particular. I can only hurt those who hurt others. A person like you would be like hitting a small child. I just can't bring myself to do that. Yes, I know that people in misery take it out on others, but if I take it out on someone it'll be the pillows in my room."

    He said this rather simply as he lead her to the house. It was a big house, and beyond everything, it was empty. He lead her inside and had her sit on the couch as he went to make tea for them both. He took a few snacks with him in case she wanted to eat, some fruits and vegetables, crackers and biscuits as he was unsure what she liked to eat. When he was done, he sat down and poured tea in two mugs with little cats painted on them. "So... why don't you tell me those trivial, boring things about yourself? You said I don't know you... but I would like to know you."
     
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