worst bathroom experiences - just got locked up XD

Status
Not open for further replies.
The Dovah said:
Not really had any bad experiences. But it does piss me off whenever i have to use the trolling taps. Basically, they give you X amount of time to wash your hands. It never is enough. Worse are hand dryers. The fucker that invented them was a giant troll! Most of the time, you're lucky to get 30 seconds of hot air before it stops. It usually ends up with most people doing a really shit karate show underneath the thing just to get the damn thing to work. Then give up and use their pants to dry their hands.
Click to expand...
Worst thing is when there's like a regular towel in a public bathroom, like a regular cloth towel like we have at home can you imagine just how fuckin insanitary that is? I usually place my hands behind my knees and squat so I dry them between the leg bend XD

The Dovah said:
I had the misfortune of having to take an emergency dump in a public toilet. Nothing was wrong with it. It's just that we, brits, on a whole, dislike using public toilets and will always tough it out until we are back in the privacy of our own homes.

Always hated going for a piss at the train station. There was always someone that had an explosive shit. And whoever designed toilet trains clearly didn't account for us men. Pissing in them is like playing a game! Will you hit the bowl or will it go every where!? You either have to use one hand to aim it, one to stable yourself or take a ninja pose, climb up the wall then piss from a height.
Click to expand...
Lots of times I find shit all over the toilet sit and I stand there gazing at it and wondering how that fuck is that even humanly possible? how can you miss a turd? Was the pooper hanging on the ceiling?
And I did had my bad experiences peeing on the train, I even considered just doing it in the washbasin since since I had to pee squatting in order to don't miss the toilet - of course I didn't do that XD

The Dovah said:
I have had several times where a fart was not to be trusted thus having to turn myself into British Gas.( a gas company) and prevent any leaks until i got home. Always awkard as you know that if you give in, that fart could easily be a mistake.
Click to expand...
This happens mostly at work, it starts with just holding a fart cause you're at work surrounded by coworkers, then before you know it you think you have to go number 2, when you arrive in the toilet it's just the tiny fart you once held prisoner that came back with a vengeance XD

Diana said:
I peed myself in public once. >:/ Thank god no one saw.
Click to expand...
this sounds like a very short summary of a much more thrilling story XD
I knew this girl who was once wearing a long skirt and no panties, she lead a very promiscuous sex life, dunno if that's why she was not wearing panties or if you girls some times just don't do it... anyway, she just stepped a couple meter from the rest of the gang, squatted, grabbed the skirt so that it covered her but didn't touch the floor, unleashed a small yellowish river from between her legs, shook her booty to get rid of excess dripping and got up and returned towards the rest of the gang as if it was absolutely normal... it was normal, like about a 1000 years ago in the middle ages XD
All that said it was sorta hot, but I am a perv XD

Bomb said:
One time in summer school, before classes begun, i had to piss. When i was doing my business in a urinal, this boy came in, and decides to PEE IN THE CORNER, WHERE AN URINAL IS 1.5 FEET AWAY.

Now that I think about it, the bathroom is pretty much the only open boy's bathroom that wasn't being cleaned for the majority of the summer.
Click to expand...
This reminded me of a time when I was early for school and had to wait for them to open the building. At the time there was a gypsy camping just across the street, one of the kids comes crossing the street, his age must have been between 3 and 6 years old, he was not wearing any pants, just a small shirt, he squatted near a tree that was about 20 feet from me and dropped a massive turd and got up and returned to his camping and I stood there wondering - what the fuck just happened...
 
Razilin said:
Ran out of toilet paper once. Including backup toilet paper.

0____0
Click to expand...
Backup toilet paper? this reminds me of my number 1 life hack, after using the bathroom I always grab some extra toilet paper and place it on my underwear - first no matter how well a guy cleans himself after he resumes walking some drops always escape, this avoids underwear stains and wearing off... second I never know when I'll have to go behind a tree, or in dark alley back wall... or when a zombie apocalypse is gonna start... this way I have a way to clean myself in an emergency... third if I get kicked in the balls it does offer a small amount of protection XD
 
I'm pretty sure my stomachache a year ago beats anything. My dumps made chernobyl proud. My toilet was the bane of all things sane and goodhearted. The coals of hell burned in a porcelain bowl of stained white hatred and all the nightmares of the human intestine reigned in Lovercraft-esque manner. It was the darkest of fucking times. Like, no shit should be that dark. We are talking the apocalypse in intestinal form letting loose the brown, sticky rider of death. If it had been a fancy Japanese auto toilet, it would be screaming for me to kill it.

Y'all are fucking welcome for that mental image by the way.
 
  • Nice Execution!
Reactions: Hades
Hellis said:
I'm pretty sure my stomachache a year ago beats anything. My dumps made chernobyl proud. My toilet was the bane of all things sane and goodhearted. The coals of hell burned in a porcelain bowl of stained white hatred and all the nightmares of the human intestine reigned in Lovercraft-esque manner. It was the darkest of fucking times. Like, no shit should be that dark. We are talking the apocalypse in intestinal form letting loose the brown, sticky rider of death. If it had been a fancy Japanese auto toilet, it would be screaming for me to kill it.

Y'all are fucking welcome for that mental image by the way.
Click to expand...
At least you didn't post an actually picture - it would have been a pretty shitty thing to do!
 
  • Love
Reactions: Wolfiethehybrid123 and Fox of Spades
My worst bathroom experience hands down was me almost dying there. When I was about eh 14 I choked on some ramen and had to rush to the bathroom for lack of anyone nearby to help me. I lived! Now the only cheese I put on any noodles is Parmesan. xD
 
I hate it when you think it's going to be a simple shit and BOOM! It comes flooding out! Holding onto the nearest thing as it burns you from inside out! Try to stand up? BOOOM! more shit! And every time you think it's over, more comes.

A common issue i have (and thankfully rarely happens nowadays) is when it refuses to go. Just flushing, pouring water, flushing to try to rid the bowl of the stubborn turd.
 
My sister and I went into a bar in San Francisco and there were two men having sex in the bathroom. My sister didn't know this and locked me in there with them.
 
Having to hear the person in the next toilet over making 'Oh yeah' sounds during their tragic number 2 session.
 
  • I hate the fact that I'm woman because I have had several terrible bleeding accidents in public, one looked like my you know what exploded in public, they called an ambulance
  • Taco bell + me + long walk home + no bathroom access = failure
  • had three spiders in my toilet and a nest of bees in my bathroom.
 
I once got mistaken as having a shit. I was merely telling the man that was i drowning who does number 2 work for.

It's an Austin Powers reference.

I do hate it when you think what should be a simple shit turns into the SHIT. FROM. HELL! It burns as soon as it starts. It lits your arse hairs on fire as it comes out and stings like a motherfucker. If you haven't got anything to grab, you best hold onto the seat for dear life as a slow painful shit occurs. Very slow. Very painful.

Seconds pass but they seem like hours.

Then it's all over and you fluh it. Only to find out the turd refuses to go down.
 
Hades said:
Been guilty of doing that XD
Click to expand...
giphy.gif
 
Hmmmm... had some "co-workers" shut off the lights once while I was in the stall. Deliberately. Lucky I carried one of those compact LED flashlights. Bathroom had absolutely no windows, so it was absolutely pitch. Don't think I want to get any more "graphic" than that. Let's just say hemorrhoids aren't fun. Especially when they rupture. 'Nuff said.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom
Back