@SecretsLiesMurder First of all, I'm sorry. I actually knew about the 'no supernatural' rule (had to work around it in my own character creation since I'm so used to giving my characters superpowers in one way or another) but it totally slipped my mind when I was doing my initial review of your character. So sorry for not warning you about that when I could have.
Secondly, don't apologize for making mistakes in making a character, even the most seasoned roleplayers will often need corrections on this first character attempt in a new RP, if simply for reasons like not knowing an element of the universe (like no supernatural creatures allowed for example) and character reviews/critiques are always given with the intention of helping the player improve said character in their next attempt , not to somehow shame them for their faults. Also, if another player reads through the early OOC posts before submitting their character, them seeing my review of your now corrected character may very well prevent them from making a similar error in their own character creation. This is why I would make it personal policy to put my reviews up publicly in my past roleplays, as a source of reference and information of it was needed.
However, I'm not obstinate in this, so if you and our GM insist I will henceforth deliver my reviews through personal messages.
Now, since hologram hasn't yet judged the newest version of your character, allow me to update my own review ^_^.
This new character is quite interesting and her history much more fluid in my opinion. I'm curious as to where she picked up teh hand-to-hand combat skils, but considering her babysitters were all likely hardened criminals like her parents, it doesn;t exactly break suspension of disbelief that
someone at
some point would have given her a few pointers in CQC. Personally I'd like it if you expanded on exactly what hand-to-hand entailed, is it a style like boxing, wushu? does it focus on grapples? does it involve kicks and legwork? What does she
look like while fighting? But this, i assume, is something that would be considered more as a good 'extra' for the character, not a necessity. In other words I don't think that its absence will cause hologram to reject the character. As she is I think she's ready for approval.
I will say one thing though. It's a risky move for you to say your character relies on verbal abuse and 'attacks people at their weakest points' in battle. Not because badmouthing n a fight is against any rules or anything, but just because you have to wonder how
really effective that is actually going to be. It's one thing to say that your character can do it, but it's another to have the skills to actually pull it off with other player chaacters who are actually trying to beat and outwit yours. Think about of the accepted characters we have so far. A psychotic cultist priest who's probably about to make us all drink the cool-aid, a serial-killer mad swordsmith who gets his jollies turning his victims into new weapons for him to kill his
next victim with, an angsty
vergil-striking samurai who could teach batman a thing about brooding over vengeance and justice, and a veteran hero of the bloodiest battle of the warring states period whose name and elegant glaive alone is enough to bring a small measure of order to a village in this lawless island. To all those guys, what exactly do you, playing a local barimaid/leader of a mid-class mercenary group, intend to say to them to get under their skin? what
could you say? two of them are outright nuts. It seem to me like it's a 'weapon' of your characters that would end up only being useful on NPCs, which we can already control pretty much however we want anyways.
Now I'm not telling you to absolutely
not make it a part of your character. If it's still something that you want to be a part of who she is and think you can play around it, or can deal with it suddenly becoming very ineffective for her as soon as she starts encountering other player characters (I have the utmost respect for players who chose to play with a stat penalty for narrative's sake), then by all means go ahead and keep it. I just wanted to inform you of the difficulties I foresaw you encountering with that particular character trait is all.
@Vonghese You were already accepted by the GM so I you don;t really need a review, but I did want to say that I love the direction you took with your character and give you props for actually choosing to play someone older than 25 but younger than 100 (and who actually looks the part) in an anime-inspired roleplay haha. also there is never such a thing as too much history. never. I do kind of feel bad for the guy who killed aito's mom though. He won fair and square by having the strength and skill to straight up cleave through his opponent's weapon, a skill that must have cost him years of dedicated training to attain. And it ends with a post-match lethal tie because his opponent just happened to have the ONE weapon with the ONE enchant on it that would fuck him over if he cut through it. Badass swordsman is now badluck brian haha.
