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Special Doodle

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"Silas." The man shifted uneasily in his seat, hearing his name called. He placed an uneasy hand on the back of his neck, to soothe down the hairs that'd rose out of anxiety. He knew all too well what the man behind the desk in front of him was going to say. He knew all too well the reality he'd have to face within the next coming months. It was a reality that he pondered more and more as of late, and he'd endured a number of sleepless nights bargaining with no one in particular to let his work continue on. "Silas, you know why you're here. I don't need to tell you this. You know, don't you?"

Silas took a deep breath. "Yes, sir."

"It's about 090."

090. His magnum opus. His gold baby. His pride and joy- the reason he woke up in the morning and enjoyed coming to work. If the man's stomach hadn't been in knots before, it most definitely was now. Silas licked his lips. "090 is growing as expected. His condition is stable." His mental capabilities, on a human scale, were lackluster, but he wouldn't say that or admit it to himself. 090 was his best specimen, thus far. After all, why else would he have been permitted to carry on the experiment for another few years? 090 had vast potential. Silas took pride in that.

"That may be. But you know what's coming up."

Silas closed his eyes. It was a tough pill to swallow and he was tired of taking it. "I'm aware."

"And I trust you'll be able to do it, won't you?"

The man nodded in silence. Truth be told, he didn't know if he could. He tried remaining as objective as possible regarding the situation, he really did. But he took pride on 090, as a child took pride in their science project. He'd worked hard on this; he didn't want to destroy it. "I know.." He began slowly, "that I will have to destroy 090. I'm not. I'm not questioning that. But perhaps- perhaps there is a chance we could delay the date? Set it back a few more months. I- I still have important tests to run. He's been displaying more signs of emotional intelligence and self awareness, and there are things I would like to examine regarding that, but I'm afraid I won't have time with the current schedule, and-"

The man at the desk cut him off. "Easy, Silas. The date has been set. There are going to be more. You will be able to continue your research with 091. 090's date is set. You know this. You knew this. Don't try to bargain your way out of it now. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it's began to grow on you. That's a dangerous game and you know it."

The man frowned. "Yes, sir."

"That's all. Bring Joseph in on your way out, would you?" Joseph was a co-worker; he was in charge of a similar operation as his own. Joseph's specimen, 089, was also scheduled for destruction within the next coming months. Silas knew though, he knew without a doubt that there would be trouble when it came to Joseph. He was too emotionally invested. The whole department knew it. On his way out, Silas did as he was asked, calling Joseph into the head's office for the talk.

Alone, the man made the decision to continue with his studies for the day. He made the quiet walk to 090's room-- no, Silas thought. It wasn't a room. It was a cell. To think that the small, 6x6 foot space was anything other than a cell was madness. Especially when there were neither windows to the outside world, or screens for the creature inside to see so much as into the halls the facility. The armor glass that enabled passers by to view the specimens inside the cell was one sided. 090, or Sean, as he'd taken to calling himself these days, only saw his reflection.

The fact he'd come up with a name for himself said something. It was the biggest reason Silas was too nervous to terminate his existence. With a heavy sigh, the man braced himself and opened the door and let himself inside. "090? Are you awake?"
 
Most days, Sean would sit in his little room, and bat around the mangled toy he had been given a year or so ago. He understood very little, but pain, boredom, and fear were three things he knew very well. He could think, but he knew, that the men and women in white coats didn't believe him, didn't believe him. But Sean knew, what they meant by 'self aware. Recognition that he was alive, that's what it meant.

They were going to take the 'awareness' away from him, he already knew that. They'd talk about it, right there in front of him, while his green eyes observed them in horror, they'd say awful things to one another. But they never really tended to look him in the eyes. They'd hardly ever touch him, or talk to him. Sean was more or less just there to them. He didn't matter, he didn't feel very important, because deep down he recognized that he was just one piece in their big picture.

Sean had been laying on the cold ground for hours, looking up at the ceiling, throwing the little doll up and down, then at the walls, maybe he'd even bite it a bit. His jaw clicked, uncomfortably when he tried to close it, the mesh of human and wolf teeth didn't work very well together. Neither did the conflicting bone structures. When Sean looked at his reflection, he could see, that he looked more or less, like them, but somehow, when he looked, it looked wrong.

When he looked at himself, he saw that his jaws, were too wide for his face, set in a permanent smirk. Well, unless they let him get older, then he was sure that it would even out, and look more natural. He saw how his hands twisted into scary looking claws, his shoulders were distorted. Whenever Sean would look at himself, he saw a....he couldn't quiet remember the word. Something, from a book, that he had tried to use to teach Sean to read with. He saw....a monster.

His thoughts drifted off to him, and he felt a little smile grace his face. He was the head of the whole operation, the one in charge of making sure that everything ran smoothly. He was the only one who would ever touch Sean, without there really being a need to. Maybe a pat on the head, to say goodbye, or a tap on the shoulder to say hello. He was the only one of them, who Sean would ever say he had attachments too. He'd spent his whole life in the small space, with nothing to do, no one to interact with but those five, but four of them were cold, mean, distant. It was only he that seemed to really care about Sean. It was a wonderful feeling.

When he got his doll, Sean started to have weird thoughts, things that he called emotions. He'd feel like his stomach twisted when the others talked about cutting him apart, fear. He'd feel something close to weightlessness whenever he saw him, joy. He'd feel like he wanted to claw at something, whenever he was left by himself for too long, loneliness.

When he became aware of the emotions, he also became aware that the five people who took care of him, would call each other weird things. He had said they were called 'names.' So he gave himself a name. Nothing fancy, nothing that really meant anything. In fact he wasn't even sure how he came up with it. But it felt right, so he insisted that they all call him, Sean. However many times he was ignored.

When he was interrupted from his 'play' he looked up and saw him standing in the door, looking tiered. "Sean." He insisted, reminding him of his name. The words were hard to utter, his jaw protesting with every letter.
 
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Silas closed his eyes and gave a curt nod. "Sean. Right." He was consistent, if nothing else. The man admired that considerably. "May I ask where you heard that name? Can you tell me?" He looked the child in the eyes, hard as it was to do so. He knew he had difficulty speaking. Whether it was the shape of his vocal chords, the structure of his jaws, or the simple lack of capacity, Silas knew 090 had difficulty speaking. He worked with him when he could, which was to say not often, but when he had the opportunity. The exact cause, he supposed, would only be learnt through his termination. Dissection was an invaluable tool. Past chimeras, successful embryos carried to full term, displayed characteristics that made them theoretically capable of speech. Silas supposed then, that it wasn't his vocal chords at all. The jaw theory seemed more likely. He wished he had more time to figure out.

The man glanced at the child's toy in his arms, mangled and falling apart from excessive wear and tear. He could see where he'd chewed on it- where the stuffing was coming out and the soft fuzz was hardened with his saliva. He made a note to get him something else to play with, out of fear that he might accidentally ingest any stuffing. "I want to look at a few things with you. You have to be good for me. If you can do that, I'll get you new toys to play with." He pointed to the stuffed animal in his hands. "Can you be a good boy for me?" Silas offered as kindhearted a smile as he could muster, but he'd be damned if it wasn't hard to put on a facade of kindness without feeling something towards him.
​
 
It was very difficult for Sean to construct the words in his head, from the small vocabulary he'd been able to pick up around them. But he managed, and it always seemed to amaze them. "There was....." He tugged lightly at his white coat to show that he and the mystery man worked together. "New. Said he came to poke at me. His card, on chest. The others called him Sean Izenhower. Liked it." He hoped that his explanation was good enough, but it was always really hard to tell. Whenever he talked, it was hard for Sean to place the words, but was somehow able to understand.

Sean felt a little nervous, at the thought of him needing to see something. Experiments always hurt, or at least, they were never vary fun. He chewed on his toy nervously, but nodded. "Be good." He promised, lowering his head submissively. He tried to smile at him, just like the man did, but it hurt his jaws so he stopped.

Sean loved it whenever he made that face at him. It was different from how the others made faces at him. Their noses would crinkle and they'd cringe away from him, without fail, every time someone new would look at him. But he never did that, he never looked at Sean like he was disgusting.
 
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It took Silas a long moment to figure out what 090 was trying to convey. But then he mentioned Izenhower- and the fact that he could properly pronounce the name amazed him- and the man understood. "I see." He nodded. He wanted to bite his lip and look away for a moment, to hide his obvious excitement. This is was new. And to him, it was incredible and noteworthy. Nearly everything 090 did was worthy of mention or jotting down, in his eyes. The fact that his speech was becoming more coherent was something worthy of praise. His chest swelled with pride. This, this was the kind of discovery and knowledge that he wanted to share with his supervisors. He wanted to show everyone that 090 was making progress, and that it'd be a shame to kill him before figuring out his full potential. "That card on his chest is a name tag. It had his name on it, so everyone would know him." He explained.

He always tried to explain things to him, because he knew darn well nobody else cared to. Silas brought his hand to the child's head, and gently stroked his hair. "You have to put that down. It'll be here for you when you come back. And tomorrow, I will bring you new toys to play with." He wasn't so certain if he had a proper concept of time. It seemed most children had a difficult time wrapping their heads around the concept of past, present and future. 090 hardly had anyone but himself teaching him anything. So it was doubtful. "You know where we're going." Silas said, now prompting him out of the cell and to the exam room where most of the experiments were conducted with him. It was time now for a bi-weekly blood sample. Silas wanted to examine his mouth as well, and get a better, proper look at his teeth. He could tell by looking at him that they didn't fit properly in his mouth. There wasn't anything he could do to fix it now, but examine and see what could be improved or replicated with 091.

"It's nothing scary today." He promised, going on to explain what they were doing, and whether it would hurt. He always tried to let him know whether it would hurt or not, if he could help it. That much was just common courtesy. The blood sample didn't take long at all, after measuring and recording his vitals. After that, he wanted an x-ray of the boy's teeth. None of it hurt, like he promised, though the x-ray was slightly intrusive. As he'd suspected, his teeth were just too big for his mouth. A few needed removed. Silas supposed, that, if his life would end soon, there was no point in allowing him to suffer for the rest of it. There was even the chance he'd open up and talk more, if it became less painful to do so.
 
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"Not his name. Mine." He said without skipping a beat, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sean could see that he was having one of his moments. They always made Sean feel uncomfortable pride. He'd been the one to make him act like that, to spin around, bite his finger, or his eyes to gleam with excitement. So at every opportunity he could, how showed off.

He closed his eyes and let out a pleased growl when he felt fingers in his hair. It was one of the most calming experiences he ever got. A small sign that someone cared about him. He nodded his head, and did what he was asked, setting his doll in the corner, in a position that would be comfortable if it was human. He was very excited about the prospect of new toys, as the doll was the only one he'd ever had. He knew that to wait for a tomorrow meant to wait a long time, but it ended eventually, so it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

Sean always got jumpy when he was outside the cell. It was bright, and loud, and just all around unpleasant. He gripped tightly to his white coat and looked around. He saw a young experiment, sitting in his room, banging it's head against the wall. He shuddered and drew closer to him. It was safe with him. Warm.

Just as he promised, there was nothing new with the experiments. The examination of his mouth, however, made him twitch. He tried his very hardest not to bite him, knowing from that one time, that the people in white coats screamed and bled when he bit them. He'd been punished very severely for it, and never attempted it again.

He laid back on the chair, while he did the x-rays of his mouth. When he was finished, Sean had a question that had been burning in his mind, for the past hour. "Who that in room by me?" He asked in a quiet voice, trying to draw his attention to him without being to distracting. "Looked sad, hitting himself, bleeding."
 
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Silas shook his head. Of course 090 wouldn't understand. Not when the only people he knew were the handful of people around him. "Some people will share the same name. They are still different people. You and Sean are different, even with the same name." A large part of the man didn't know why he bothered explaining this. What did it matter, at this point? What did it matter that he knew people could have the same name? What did it matter that he knew anything about life outside the lab? Silas fell silent, lost to a bout of contemplation that rendered him quiet and forlorn until the child spoke up again, interrupting the dead air.

"What? Oh. You. You saw that, didn't you?" 088. A failed experiment by nearly all accounts. Another co-worker's creation. It should've never been allowed to live as long as it did. It was unhealthy. It'd come out too early. It had violent outbursts, among other behavioral issues. Most of the chimeras did, with as little human contact as they received. But 088 was particularly bad. "It's nothing you need to worry about. You should forget that you saw it." Silas instructed. He didn't have any way of delicately putting 088's existence to him. So he didn't explain. He told the child to forget and not worry, though the man knew damn well that he was going to worry. "I'll know if you think about it. And I won't bring new toys. You have to be good and not worry, do you understand?"

The man decided to change the subject. "0--," He paused to correct himself, "Sean. Does your mouth ever hurt? Do your teeth feel too big, or tight and uncomfortable?"
 
Sean frowned, when he referred to the boy as 'it.' He never liked it when the other scientists called him that. But he had said, that Sean wouldn't get any new toys if he thought about him. How was the kid supposed to know that he couldn't actually read his mind. So he just nodded, and agreed, trying to remove the disturbing imagine from his mind. But it was harder then he thought it would have been. Every so often his mind would drift to the dead eyes of the twisted creature. "Lonely. Afraid." He said, not actually meaning to say anything at all, but he couldn't help but feel empathetic towards the poor thing.

He thought about how to answer his question. "Yes." He said, opening his mouth a little wider, to show the man where his two sets of teeth manged together. "The front. Hurt most." He said, pointing to four teeth that were twisted together, almost dislodging his front teeth from his gums. When he pointed at them, anyone could see that they bled, when Sean put to much pressure on them with his tongue. "Make hurt stop." He ordered the scientist, tears gathering in his eyes when he demonstrated what was happening.

He tried his hardest, during experiments not to cry, but it was hard sometime, and he was already really tiered, from the endurance testing one of the others had done. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to avoid touching them with his long nails. "Please." He begged quietly, knowing that making to much noise, would only annoy him.
 
Empathy. Understanding emotions. Silas wanted to praise him and tell him to stop at the same time. It was excellent that he could understand and pinpoint emotions when he saw them. It was amazing that he knew how to respond to such a thing, that he empathized with their pain. But it was unsettling, and difficult to explain at the same time. Silas frowned, continuing on with his work. "088 is bad. He is not like you and will never be like you. He does not feel things the same way as you do. Stop worrying about it."

The concerned expression on his face shifted to a look of disgust as the horrible realization that 090's teeth were in such poor condition. Of all the things they monitored and kept track of, of all the records they took... 090's teeth were left to twist and malform in his mouth. It made him sick. "That's enough. Stop. I will fix it." He patted the child's head again, smoothing his hair down. "It won't hurt anymore." How did he manage to eat, when the slightest bit of pressure from his tongue made him bleed? Silas reckoned the best course of action to take was remove the twisted teeth- the animal canines, that in adulthood would surely cause problems. A flaw in his design. It was noted, and it would be written down for later reference. 091 wouldn't suffer the same issue.

Silas was no dentist. He knew that each tooth had a name, and a function. He knew the basic function of the each of the specific types of teeth, but to feel comfortable removing them... it was something that made him anxious. "I'm going to remove the teeth that are hurting you. I'm going to numb it, so it won't hurt, but you have to sit very still. Be a good boy for me." Silas went to show him the needle he'd use to numb his mouth. It was big and intimidating looking, but nothing he hadn't dealt with before. "It will sting at first. But you won't feel a thing afterwards, I promise. Just sit still, and keep your mouth open for me."
 
Sean wanted to argue with him, and tell him, that 088 was like him. He just couldn't really think straight, but he didn't want to get punished, so he simply nodded, and accepted what he was telling him. But still.....there was blood his face, and he was crying, or at least what he thought was crying. Sean remembered that he used to cry a lot too. He kept 088 in his mind, wondering if there was anything he could do to help. But there wasn't. He couldn't see outside his room, and he never got the chance to interact with the other experiments, so all he could really do, was wish that his pain would end. One of the others had told him, that to end and experiments suffering, the scientists would 'put it to sleep.'

He was very glad to hear that the pain would go away soon, and was almost willing to do anything for that relief. Sean winced at the sight of the long and thick needle, but he trusted the scientist when he said that it was only going to hurt for a short time. He felt a bit of heat rise to his cheeks, when that feeling of joy entered into him again. Sean could tell that he was worried about him, from his facial expressions. "No worry." He said, tapping him lightly on the head, in a gesture much like one he got from time to time. "Be okay." Sean thought, that maybe if he assured him, then he'd take that look off his face. While it was touching, he still didn't like it. He would much rather see a smile.

When the needle stuck into his gums, he whimpered a the pinch, and closed his eyes tightly. But after a few seconds he started to feel...light. He giggled a bit, letting his head roll to the side. He looked at him and smiled brightly, trying to think of something good to say, but really nothing came to mind. Then he remembered something one of the others had said, and it made the other three smile. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" He said, grinning at him, waiting for his answer.
 
Silas gasped, his breath caught in his throat, when 090 touched him. He almost flinched at how tender the touch was. While he regained his outward composure quickly, his gut tied itself in knots and his heart ached. Compassionate. Empathetic. Showing increasing signs of intelligence. Each new observation would be noted and catalogued. By now, Silas could write a book on him, if he truly wanted. Not that it'd ever get published; this was highly classified information. The man ran a hand through his greying hair, and pushed up his glasses. "Yes. Everything will be okay."

He make quick work of numbing him, and it took even less time for him to know when the anesthetic took place. He had to hold 090's head up for him. "Feels different, doesn't it?" He asked, seeing the child smile at him. Silas had moved away for a moment to grab the tools he'd need for the job; a tissue to keep blood and spit off of 090, the extractor itself, and gauze to clean up afterwards. While he looked for everything, he was surprised to hear 090 talking. He bit his cheek to keep from grinning. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Whether he understood and had a concept of humor, or if he was simply reciting something he'd heard before, Silas wasn't sure. But it too would be wrote down. He gave him the opportunity to finish the joke before he turned around to face him and continue what he was doing.
 
Sean looked at the scientist, trying to hold his head up. "To see an idiot." He laid his head back and looked at him, his eyes dilated from the anesthetic. "Knock knock." He bit his lip, as gently as he could, looking like he was about to explode with laughter. His shoulders shook, and his eyes showed clear signs of mirth. His grin, with all the sharp teeth, looked frankly, terrifying, but the innocent childlike giggles and eyes, drew away from that. He didn't wait for him to say 'whose there' and simply finished, delivering his line with a snicker. "The Chicken!" He said quietly. "Get it?"

He could feel the light tugging on his teeth, but it didn't hurt. Just like he promised it wouldn't. He felt sleepy though, for whatever reason. He yawned, then apologized when he thought that he might have bitten him by mistake, and the literal last thing Sean wanted to do was hurt him.

"They hate me~" He said in a singsong voice, letting his head roll around again. He looked at him, almost sadly. But then he remembered, that he might have hated the others too, but still, they were the only people he ever got to interact with during his unhappy life. So, there was a part of him, and he wasn't sure how big that part was, that wanted them to love him instead. He'd heard that word thrown around a lot, when they talked about stuff outside the lab. 'I love that band' or 'I'm in love.' When he had asked them, what love was, they just said that it meant you liked something an awful lot. He remembered it well, as it was one of the rare times that they ever showed him any humanity.
 
Silas glanced at him from the corner of his eye. It was so different, seeing him happy. The giggling and the smiling was such a drastic change from the usual look on his face... He wanted to take a picture. Of course, it would all be recorded and cataloged and wrote down, the circumstances explained, but another, smaller part of him, just wanted to take a picture to keep it for himself. A keepsake outside of strictly research purposes. Such keepsakes were forbidden, however. Along with 090, once he was put to sleep, all evidence of his existence, beyond what was written down for future reference, would be destroyed. His toys, his blankets, the clothes he wore. His room would be disinfected, all traces of his DNA wiped away. In spite of all that, Silas wanted just one picture to keep for himself.

The man grinned, in spite of himself. "I get it." He didn't laugh as hard as 090 did; the joke itself wasn't that funny. "No more jokes now. You have to be quiet and keep your mouth open, or this will take too long and it will start to hurt." And with that, Silas started working on pulling the bad teeth. When one was removed, he plugged the wound with gauze. And he repeated the process as fast as he could,while still maintaining the quality of his work. Each tooth was set on a metal tin. Each tooth would be examined, cleaned, and preserved for future reference.

"Keep still now, we're almost done." He said, propping 090's head back up to work with him. He had to hold his mouth open to get the last problematic tooth out, but it was out soon enough, and plugged with gauze just like the rest. While he worked, he couldn't help but let what the boy said to sit and fester in his head, much like 088 likely still resided in the back of 090's mind. 'They hate me.' He'd said. Silas wondered if 090 knew what it meant to hate someone. Probably. He probably did hate the other scientists; he'd seen how they treated him. It wasn't right, but there was little else he could do about it. They were his fellow co-workers, and he needed them. Silas feared if he told them how to do their jobs, 090 would face harsher treatment. It was unfortunate and all he could do was attempt to reassure him that he was not hated. "Nobody hates you." But he didn't know how to properly explain that to him.

"Alright, bite down now. Easy, now. Good." The man patted 090's hair. "You were very good. I'll bring new toys tomorrow. Don't chew on your doll anymore for now. You'll hurt your mouth." He helped him up and out of the exam room, holding him steady as he led him back to his cell. He tried his best to shield 088 from his sight, but Silas could still hear the other chimera's mournful wailing. "Don't worry about it. 088 is bad. You are good."
 
Sean was glad when it was finished, and the uncomfortable pulling was over. Sean felt himself relax further when his hand rested on his head. The cotton in his mouth, dried out his tongue, but he really didn't seem to mind all that much, simply letting it soak up the blood. He held the gauze against his bleeding mouth, and was glad, that he could finally close his mouth all the way. As they walked out of the room, he clung to his coat, and looked at the other experiment, who looked like he was about to die.

He wrenched himself out of his hold, and stood in front of the glass. "You're not bad." He told the other experiment, but Sean couldn't be sure that he even heard him. "I want to stay with him. He smells like me. Safe there." He insisted with a pout, which was strange, because the boy had never once demanded anything.But he considered it very important. So he stomped his foot on the ground and crossed his arms over his chest.

Sean looked at him stubbornly, somehow figuring out, without him even saying anything, that he wasn't going to get what he wanted, not that he was surprised, but he was very upset about it. "Promise that we can meet , before the others put me to sleep." He altered his request, thinking maybe if it wasn't right away, then he wouldn't be so opposed to it, as he would have been otherwise. He really didn't want the other boy to be so lonely, like he was.

He looked into the experiments eyes, and smiled at him, even though the other couldn't see him. Sean didn't seem to understand, that the vacant, wild look on his face, wasn't just from fear, but also from years of genetic reprogramming that left the poor creature in a state of half life. He rested his head against the glass, and 088 seemed to sniff the air, before calming down a little, but he still snarled and barked, as he could smell him. "One of the other's name is James, so you can be James from now on." He promised the other chimera.
 
When 090 jerked away from him, Silas's heart all but skipped a beat. This was the first time he'd ever actively disobeyed, or tried to run off. In all of the better part of three years, this was perhaps the unruliest he'd ever been around him. And it horrified Silas. It was this sort of behavior that would hasten his destruction. "090!" The scientist came up behind him and was ready to grab him by the collar. But his initial anger died down when he heard what the boy was saying. Inside the cell, 088 had stopped hitting himself. From the time Silas had taken 090 to the exam room to now, someone had come in 088's cell and cleaned him up. The blood on his face was gone, his clawed hands placed into protective mitts to keep him from further hurting himself when them.

"090, this is enough. You're not staying in there. It is not remotely safe. 088 is dangerous and wild and I will not take the risk of letting it harm you. Now get away from it." Just as 090 was stubborn, Silas was just as stern back. Beyond the initial number call, the man did not yell at him, or raise his voice any higher. "I won't promise anything if you can't be good and listen to what I've told you." He made no comment about 090's eventual destruction. His stomach twisted and turned at the mention of it, and it made him sick. He was livid. He'd certainly never told him about it. He never mentioned anything about being put to sleep. And it killed him to realize that one of the others brought it up. What other rules had they broken? What other guidelines had they disregarded when it came to handling 090? The gut wrenching anger was visible on his face. His cheeks were flushed, his lips tightly pursed together.

"I will not call 088 James and neither will you!" It was probably James that broke the rule in the first place. And 088 was James's experiment. Silas took him by the collar and forcibly dragged him away from the door. He never meant to take his anger out on the boy, though. He hadn't calmed down any when he brought him back to his cell, but Silas did a better job at keeping his composure. "S-Sean. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry they told you that..." He fell silent for a minute, thinking of what to say. "Nobody is being put to sleep. Certainly not you." He lied. "Whoever told you that doesn't know what they're talking about, and I want you to tell me who told you that so that they won't come in to check on you anymore and tell you more lies." He was in need of a serious word with them. "Now... 088. Maybe. When I find out, I will let you now. And... I. I will see what I can do. A-about a brief- a very small- meeting."
 
He didn't have the courage to yell at him, and instead, shrunk away, like the scientist's words had been a slap to the face. "Him." He said softly, feeling his lip tremble. Sean looked into his angry eyes, and felt his heart be squeezed by fear. It felt like there was ice being injected into his blood stream. He thought, that all the anger was directed at him, because he had dared to disobey him. He let out a soft cry, turning away from him and balling himself up, like he was trying to make him go away. But it never worked on the others, and it definitely didn't work on him.

He yelped when he was being dragged into his room, but immediately, he started to apologize. But Sean, really didn't care. He rubbed away the tears on his cheeks, trying not to nick the skin with his sharp claws, but every once in a while he'd get a cut. But he really did seem sorry, for treating Sean so roughly. He hated it, when he cried, because it always made the others angry during experiments. They'd say he was being 'uncooperative' and punish him.

"I just want to meet him." He said sadly, looking down at the cold stone floor. He wondered over to the corner of the room, and picked up his doll, holding it close to him. "I know what 'put to sleep' means. Means, no more thoughts, or emotions. But no more pain either. I don't want new toys. Before they put me to sleep, all I want is to meet him." He put a hand on his jaw and whimpered, curling up in pain. That had to have been the most he'd ever spoken in his entire life. It was hard to think of all the words and put them where they were supposed to be, but he was sure that he was able to properly tell him his feelings on the matter.

He thought about his question. Sean tried to remember it the best that he could, and the promise of them never coming to see him again made him happy. "Shawn. He was mad. Said if I wasn't good, when they put me to sleep they wouldn't use ani-anisth- an-is-the-tics." He had a hard time, pronouncing the word, so he sounded it out slowly.
 
Again. He was consistent. Memory was the lowest form of intelligence. But if memory was the lowest, what did that make consistency to self imposed ideas? Surely, it was one of the higher ranking forms of intelligence, right up there with creating individual ideas and thoughts. Silas's heart wrenched. He needed more time. Another year, six months, anything but the three weeks he had left. Anything. Today was the most 090 had spoke in all of three years; Silas was just beginning to understand how he thought, what he made of things around him. He wanted to know how much the child of capable of learning and when that intelligence leveled off. Three weeks wasn't enough time for any of it.

Silas saw the tears and he frowned. He truly hadn't meant to hurt him, or take his anger out on him. It'd never been his intention at all. All this time, the man wanted to protect the child from as much pain as he could. His existence was painful enough without death hanging over his head every day. While 090 likely didn't know the scheduled date of his termination, Silas still didn't want him knowing such a date existed. He'd had plans to keep it as normal a day as possible. He'd come in, greet him as he always did. He'd tell 090 what they were doing that day- he'd tell him it was a big test, a scan that he couldn't be awake for. He'd had them before. It wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary. 090 wouldn't know a thing. It'd be painless. It'd be simple.

But Shawn complicated that. How long had 090 known? How many days did he spend wondering when his last would be? How many times had he been scared of seeing him, fearful of being put to sleep? It was infuriating. Silas didn't care that he'd made Shawn angry; the man had specific instructions to follow. Silas entered the cell, and knelt down at 090's level. He wiped away a remaining tear with his thumb. "You're not being put to sleep. Shawn lied." The scientist spoke reassuringly, with enough conviction that even he could've fooled himself to believe that 090 wouldn't be put to sleep. "I don't want you thinking that. Being put to sleep... is. It's permanent. It lasts forever and you don't wake up. You don't feel pain, but you'll never feel anything. It's very scary. It isn't something to want. It isn't something to look forward to. It's not something to threaten, no matter what you did. You're not being put to sleep." Silas continued to reassure him, telling the boy what he wanted to hear himself.

By now, he'd placed his own hand on 090's jaw- a tender touch to calm his nerves, and reassure him that he was no longer mad at him. His hands were trembling though, and he didn't know how comforting the touch might've been, if at all. "I will see, about letting you meet 088. Despite what you think, 088 is not what you know him to be. He is dangerous. He has hurt people. And I don't want him to hurt you. 088 is bad, Sean."
 
He wondered if it was worth the fight to say he knew that Shawn wasn't the one lying. But he didn't say a word, and accepted that fact, that one day, he would come in, then Sean would fall asleep, and he'd never wake up again. He'd be gone, lost, terminated. He let out a small whimper when he thought on Silas's words. Now, he really couldn't stop thinking about it. He figured there was no way that he was going to avoid being put to sleep, so as everyday ticked on, he came closer and closer to all that scary stuff that Silas was talking about.

The touch on his jaw sent a pleasant spark through his body, and he let out an animalistic purr of approval. Sean nodded, knowing in the back of his mind that he was only trying to protect him from whatever danger 088 posed. Sean leaned down to let his head fall onto Silas's shoulder, resting there and closing his eyes. "If you're there, then I'm safe." He said, lightly sniffing the scientist's hair, taking in his familiar and comforting scent. It felt peaceful there, nestled into his chest. He wondered if that was what they meant when they talked about comfort.

He didn't think that wanting to be around 088 was a bad thing. Sure, he could see why he was a little reluctant, but that didn't mean that the boy in the room, right next to his own should be locked away for the rest of his life. 'I've hurt people too, or did you forget?" He asked, referring to the time he had felt threatened by one of the doctors, and bit the woman's hand off. She never came back,

His head popped up suddenly, when the door opened, and the mean one, Shawn, walked in, with a scowl on his face. He stopped when he saw the two of them together like that and smirked at Silas. "I never pegged you for one of those freaks that screwed their experiments, Silas."
 
Silas stiffened up when 090 leaned forward and rested his head against him. The child was warm, just like a human. He reminded him faintly of the children he'd babysat in his teens, back when he'd been so desperate for work he'd taken to looking after his old neighbor's kids. Looking back on that now, 090 was a lot like them. It was unnerving, in a way. Silas tried to distract himself with his notes that he would take when he left the room. '090's speech is increasing in coherency. 090 recognizes and responds properly to emotions. 090 empathizes with pain. 090 displays a sense of humor. 090 formed personal ideals. 090 upholds to created ideas. 090 initiates physical contact in times of emotional distress.'

The boy interrupted his train of thought when he spoke up, and Silas stiffened up again. He wished he could say without lying that the boy was safe while he was around. He supposed in a way, it was true. In others, it was a punch to the gut. And unfortunately, the latter far surpassed the former. "Yes." Silas said. "You're safe." He was about to say something else when 090 spoke up again. He had hurt people before. Silas remembered. It was a mark off his record that he wanted to forget. It'd been such a painful struggle to keep the cimera alive after that, to keep his funding going to continue with the project. "You made a mistake." Accidents happened. "And you don't do that anymore. But 088 does and he doesn't care. Now, I have to go."

He was just about to get up when he heard the door open and Shawn's voice coming from behind him. "Out. Get out, this is a restricted area and you no longer have access. Get out." He spoke calmly, backing away from 090. He'd turned his back on him once he was on his feet, and he led Shawn out of the room before shutting the door. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you have any respect for your work? Do you? Do you take this seriously at all? Is it a joke to you? Do you think you can walk in and say whatever the hell you goddamn please? Because it came out of a test tube, it won't understand a word you're saying? It won't feel anything? Is that what you think?"
 
Sean almost wanted to laugh a little, because he really didn't care that he hurt that woman, just like 088. He nuzzled his face into Silas's shoulder, but released him, without much of a struggle.

He glared at the mean one, who came in, and said words that made his hair stand on edge. Sean noticed it, even though he was far away, and he found it amazing. He watched as he ordered the mean one away, and pushed him out of the room, leaving the poor creature alone in his box. He slowly moved towards the doll in the corner. He frowned, and thought about who was going to take care of his doll when he was put to sleep. Sean guessed that he would, but the image of a stranger playing with his doll, running experiments on it, like they did him. He growled lowly in his throat, and curled up into a nest of blankets that he had been sleeping on, since he could remember. He walked around in a circle on all fours before he curled up into a ball, and decided that he needed sleep. He thought for a second, that it might have been his last night, or the night after that, he didn't know when it was coming, and it scared him.

==========

Shawn sneered at him, "That's exactly what I think Silas. It doesn't know anything. Just because it picked up a few words doesn't mean it has emotions." He was acting like Silas was a complete moron. He pointed to the cells that lined the walls, filled with deformed childlike monsters. "See, look they're all the same. Dead on the inside. None of them are sentient. It doesn't matter though. Experiment 090 has been scheduled for termination Friday morning at nine thirty." He smiled nastily. "I'm the head of the dissection team, you know. I was turning the idea over in my head, maybe we should do the whole thing while he's awake. Just to test out your little theory, on if he can show fear or if he really is a dumb fucking animal. Be there bright and early, or we'll start without you."
 
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