We've All Encountered It At Least Once...

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Foxy, Sep 22, 2015.

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  1. Community hate. It doesn't matter where you go, or what you're into in regards to anime, games, movies, ect, but it is always there. The hate for your community, the hate for what you specifically like within said community. It's there and it's very difficult to not run into it at least once.

    Before I continue on with what I'd like to talk about (though it seems pretty obvious) I want to thank Gen. Gwazi Senpai for giving me the idea to put this up here. Honestly it just sort of popped up in a conversation on another thread.

    But that aside, I had asked something along the lines of what could we do to help fix the hate? Not just the hate people receive from outside of their community but from within it as well. People get insulted and hurt because they like a certain type of something in their community and other's don't. Like with anime/manga, people can be told they aren't a real fan because of liking the mainstream things such as One Piece, Naruto, Bleach, Attack on Titans. I could go on. Sometimes the hate could be based on gender, like the occasional women can't like comics or games, things like that.

    So I want to ask, have you been a victim of hate in the community you're in? Have you been the hater? Why? What do you think we could do to mend the problems between those in the community or those outside of it?
     
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  2. In regards to the hate in the Anime Community the individuals who hate on others for liking another anime is obviously (pardon me for refering to this horrorish word) a weaboo. Someone who thinks they know everything and thinks one anime is the alpha omega of the whole genre. They not only aren't a true anime fan but they are also douche bags (pardon me again) who don't deserve to be in this awesome community of animated cartoon lovers.

    We all have favorites but shoving it into someones face or attempting to force the opinion onto others saying one thing is better than what they think is better only starts needless arguments and fights that should've never happened. Just ignore these naive individuals because they obvious don't understand what it means to be human.

    In regards to the other things i know how it is to get hate, however all you can do is to move on. Just like evil in the world you possibly cannot stop it completely, similar to trolls on the internet the only thing you can do is ignore them and move on because eventually they will get tired and stop. If they don't stop then you can always refer to the police force of iwaku (mods, admins) who is more than welcome to stop those pesky bugs from getting in your food while your trying to have a peaceful picnic.
     
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  3. Being honest, as much as we might dislike the hate there isn't too much that can be done to change it. At least overnight.

    The best methods are to ignore the hate and focus on accepting others, that will help set the mood of things and inspire other's to follow.
    Though it's important to recognize that humans are emotional creatures, this includes all of them, even hate.
    Humans are going to find some way to divide people, the best we can do is aim to not fall for those pitfalls ourselves.

    “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”― Mahatma Gandhi
     
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  4. Specifically, the best thing that you can do if someone tries to belittle you for your interests, orientation, or lifestyle is to remember who is talking to you. In the same way that internet trolls are dealt with by realizing all they are interested in is a reaction, all the haters simply want to make you feel bad. Unless they say something that you agree with or lack the capacity to deny, they have no power over you. The only people who can be victim are those who are vulnerable, so set yourself up to be invulnerable.

    If you stop and think about it, the fact that they feel threatened by your lifestyle enough to go out of their way and harass you for it is kinda ridiculous. They could have chosen to simply talk bad about you behind your back or to their peer group, but they specifically decided that in order to validate their opinion, they needed to throw someone else under the bus. If you think of these people as insecure, suddenly it becomes a lot easier to deal with them. Nothing they say has authority. There is no need to try to control them. If they say something mean-spirited you can just laugh about it later.


    Though if they are using something more potent like actionable threats or physical violence, then this is a different issue which should be dealt with legally.
     
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  5. I have been both the Hater and the Hated. O_O It took me a really long time to realize I was wasting my energy on both.

    If I like something, I like something. It makes me happy and that's all that matters. If someone else hates it, or spews hate at me... it's not my problem. I ignore them and at further extremes remove them from my presence. I will never ever ever go back to allowing people to treat me poorly just because I enjoy something they don't. o__o You will respect my joy or get the hell out of my space.

    On the other end of the spectrum, if I don't like something, I shouldn't be a fucking asshole about it and harass people that DO like it. ....that's sometimes really hard to do even when you know you shouldn't be such a shit. >>;; Sometimes you hate something so much you want to utterly destroy anyone that actually has the gall to like it. AND THAT'S CRAZY. It really is. Because again, what they like is not your problem. @____@ All that energy in hating is wasted. You could be off involved in the things you love.

    It takes a lot of self control and work to not hate on things or people. o____o And anyone that says "I don't hate on things ever!" are not being honest with themselves. I think I've only met, like... two or three people in my entire life that were such amazing sweet wonderful balls of sunshine that they never had a hateful word to say about something. They are rare and precious creatures of myth. O_____O
     
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  6. One of those persons must be.... @A rather majestic pig !!
     
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  7. Shut up.
     
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  8. This guy gets it.
     
  9. I've been on both sides of the thing. There's really nothing to be done to fix it. People are assholes sometimes and that's just a fact of humanity. I could go into the psychological explanations of why that's hardwired into us, but I figure most people already understand the concept well enough on a personal level to not need it.

    There are only two practical things to do if you want to have a better and less hate-filled experience when it comes to inter- and intra-community interactions: do your best to not be the asshole in any given situation, and learn to shrug off the assholes flinging hate at you.
     
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  10. Sad to say: It's frighteningly easy to hate someone or something, even easier to indulge in those thoughts about how "the world would be better without x" and "y is a waste of time" and so on.
    I've been and occasionally is guilty of that myself so I consciously work on it and find the source, most importantly I work hard not to act on it. There are people out there who doesn't enjoy being hateful but doesn't know how to stop. Others are just caught up in their hatred. There's plenty more of different types that hate something or someone.
    Really, the best any average person can do is to work on the darkness within so it is under control instead of controlling you and to not let anyone's hate beat you down and foster that darkness that lies in every heart. We're all so much more than a primal emotion designed to keep us alive.
     
    #10 dragonesper, Sep 22, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2015
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  11. I've been on both sides before too. All you can really do is move on. Don't waste your time and energy on hate or haters.
     
  12. To be perfectly honest I have never been in a community where the majority of the people utterly hate my guts or anything I'm involved in. It's more concentrated than that and I wouldn't necessarily call it hate. As I said in another thread, and in many rants, my parents are very negative in my beliefs and in my hobbies. My stepdad's side of the family doesn't hate me, but have said or done some pretty shitty things to me. For example, when I was a young teen I would frequently play my Ds at family gatherings because I absolutely despised socializing at these gatherings because most of them didn't understand me or what I enjoyed so I literally had nothing to talk about other than "Yeah I'm doing great in school."

    Due to this my grandmother on my dad's side took my cousins to the Smithsonian in DC on weekend and I was left out. When I found out about it I was completely baffled because I LIKED GOING TO MUSEUMS AND EVERYONE KNEW THAT. Thus when I asked about it my cousin said to me "I didn't want to say anything, but Gommy said that she didn't bring you because all you would do is play your DS the entire time." and since then I've been at odds with the woman and really don't like being around her. I've learned that the majority of that side of the family likes to make assumptions and doesn't bother to put forth the effort to either get to know me or make a connection or whatever.

    Outside of the family I've meet a number of individual people that have had it out for me for their own reasons, either I did something they didn't like or based off of their own assumptions and labeling.

    I think the only time that I ever thought I was in a hateful "community" was my third grade glass where everyone in my classroom treated me like a fucking disease, but its whatever. Happened a long time ago. xD

    Edit:

    In terms of being a hateful person though, there is probably like three people that I would say that I utterly hate to the very core of my being. Then there are those people that you just see them and don't like them. They could be the sweetest person ever or you could not know them at all and you could still hate them. Like just looking at them makes you hate them, like its off of instinct. Then there is dislike, and I dislike a lot of people. xD

    I rarely act on it though, if I'm ever hateful to someone its mostly due to something they did to me or to someone else and I'm just treating them how they treat others.
     
    #12 Vio, Sep 22, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2015
  13. As far as communities/interests that receive the most hate go, MLP and furries are probably the best examples I can think of.

    Simply expressing interest in MLP tends to set people off, it seems. Male fans especially are rather often assumed to either be gay, man-children, or fetishists. Pretty much any Youtube comment left by someone with an MLP avatar often gets replied to with something along the lines of "shut up, horse fucker", even if the comment has nothing to do with MLP.

    And furries? The very word has a sexual connotation. Even in a relatively rational-minded community such as this, I'm sometimes a bit hesitant to even mention furries because they're always thought of as something sexual. That said, of course there's a lot of hate and harassment out there directed at furries -- pretty much all of them thinking of furries only as a fetish and not considering the many, many people who are innocently drawing and dressing up as fursonas in a completely non-sexual way.

    I'm sure there are other fandoms that get hate for similar reasons, but those are the big two that come to mind. At any rate, there's not much one can do other than ignore it, and try not to be the one dishing out that hate.

    The only other thing it makes sense to do is spread a bit of knowledge about these communities. After all, much of the hate seems to stem from misunderstanding. MLP -- yeah, it seems obvious at first why people would find liking it to be a bit weird, but, honestly, it isn't all that different from any other kids' show with a large adult fanbase, of which there are many and a lot of them are a lot more well-respected. And furries? They're just anthropomorphized animals, for fucks sake -- I honestly don't understand why so many people assume that such a thing can only be a fetish and nothing else. So, I for one at least try to share understanding about these things when they come up -- as I've met a lot of people who honestly weren't even aware that most furries aren't fetishists, for example, and people's attitudes tend to change when they really listen to and acknowledge that sort of information.
     
  14. I play videogames. I sometimes post opinions about that. I don't think that requires further explanation.

    I have engaged in abusive behaviour, but never with the exclusive motive to hurt another person. Therefore it does not qualify as hating. Granted, hurt was a frequent consequence. As for why, the reasons for this behaviour varied. Some was to acquire privileges, some for teh lulz, some because the target put a dick move on me or a friend first and I saw that as some sort of challenge... Though that usually tied in with acquiring privileges or teh lulz also.

    Inside: Most hate is a projection. This means someone feels something is wrong in their own life experience and needs a way to vent. There is no guaranteed fix for this, especially when you consider different communities have different environments. I think safe places and acceptance, so that someone doesn't shame their selves in making their selves vulnerable and as such can express their selves in non-violent ways are great. But when your community is a competitive game where people take joy in winning (ie demonstrating superiority) you're gonna have a bad time. What's best to do there is redirect the hate to something that can't feel hurt because of it. Like, "It's not player X his fault, character Y is just OP in this patch." Or whatever.

    Then there's atmosphere in general. A hateful atmosphere leads to more hate, whereas a more open atmosphere leads to better communications. People adjust to whatever atmosphere is dominant when they want to be part of that group.

    Outside: Well, knowledge. The unknown is scary and that is why we must push it away.
     
  15. There isn't really a lot you can do besides ignoring them and being a pleasant person regardless of how they treat you, as you can't answer hate with hate, as that merely begets more hate.

    So basically, you have to change society and it's views slowly from within
     
  16. Since we're going into personal experiences.

    I should also note it's possible for the hate to not even be directed at current you.
    If you had done something in the past and people grew a disliking of you for that, they tend to cling onto it for the future regardless of what you do.
    In a sense it's basically the 1st Impressions thing we're told growing up, if someone's first impression of you is negative they are likely to adopt it as their definition of you, and stick with it simply because it's the first perspective to enter their mind.

    And as well people will sometimes not ever give a reason for this, sometimes there might not even be a reason.
    For example back in Grade 8 there was one classmate I had who I shared a lot of mutual friends with.
    He almost immediately took a negative liking to me, he remained civil about it but the dislike was clearly both passionate and present.

    I've tried asking him and mutual friends as to what the reason is for this, but the answer is always referencing a past circumstance that either never happened or is so vague in detail it could apply to almost anything.
    And the story would change each time, suggesting he's either trying to hide the reason or there isn't one and this is just a natural disliking.

    +Lastly there's also the mob mentality.
    If people decide they don't like you for any reason, and see it as acceptable to shit talk you, laugh at you, demean you etc it suddenly becomes socially acceptable.
    They can get even more locked into their hatred of you for no reason other than "Well my friends agree with me, therefore it must be valid!".
    Oh yea, I get this feeling. >.<

    In my case it's a matter of I'm the only geek/nerd in the family, and the only one who tends to be very outspoken, blunt and honest about stuff (including dark humour).
    Meanwhile my extended family is very big into sports, being sensitive to others feelings and takes more of a "Making people happy is more important than the truth" mentality.
    This leads to a rather big division between me and the adults of the family, where we still get along. But there is a very clear disconnect between us that they don't have with any of my cousins.
    To the point I'd call it "We get along with you because we saw you grow up. But that's basically it".

    That and according to my Mom they do tend to complain about a lot of the stuff I do (mainly what I post on facebook) behind my back, but don't say anything publicly as to avoid a confrontation.
    That being said though my Mom does also have the habit exaggerating things my Dad does, so I take this last stuff with a grain of salt.
     
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  17. Ok. This is normally something I'd make a new topic for... But at 1:52 it hits the nail on the head for this topic perfectly. XD

    (Won't let me embed it for some reason).
     
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  18. Yes. Never to an extreme degree but I am interested in many things that people hate on despite the fact that I'm not a part of the problematic fandom. I like anime (mainstream and not), Kpop, Supernatural, Sherlock, comic books, and video games. All of these have drama surrounding them that I try not too be a part of but simply having a blog dedicated to some of these has made me a target for hate. I even put in my info "Please be kind to me. I'm not one of those bloggers who gets into band wars and whatnot. I just like what I like and sometimes contribute to those fandoms." This has helped a lot because I even had people message me that I probably shouldn't follow them because they got into debates very often.
    Never. I accept all even if I'm not particularly interested in the subject myself. You like to write furry stuff, heck you like to do sexy stuff in a furry suit? Good for you! You've found something you enjoy. Be proud of it. You identify as male and like MLP? I'm glad you don't follow the societal norms that say cutesy stuff can't be liked by males. I have a VERY wide range of interests so there aren't many things I'm not into but when I'm not I don't bother to tell people how they should feel. Especially in a rude or cruel way. I've never understood trolls or haters. The whole excuse of
    is very upsetting to me. My life experience is something no one would want to go through but I don't take out any of my pain on other people. If you need to vent you can. It's completely possible to vent without hurting another person. They have entire apps aimed just for that purpose.

    Unlike many others I don't think it's something to just shrug off or ignore. I think as generations pass we can keep working towards erasing hate. Yeah it will never be fully deleted but we can work to make it much less prevalent. One thing I've noticed is if you talk to a hater about what they're doing they can be apologetic and at least for a while stop their negative commentary. (Never do it in the same thread that they're being hateful though, they'll just feel attacked and become volatile. PM them or whatever equivalent there is on the site.) As for irl people. Well I see a lot less of those just because it's o much easier to put yourself in that position online. I've found that replying to them with a slight smile and good humor while explaining to them exactly how harmful they're being works. Trust me I've talked a homophobic kid down after he used the word fag. The kid never used it again in my presence. I can't promise he didn't use it when not around me but he was quite respectful afterwards. I've done the same when a dude joked about rape and sexism. He didn't understand at first but we had a conversation about it and I was able to show him how he was harmful in his thinking.

    So I would say having a controlled debate, free conversation, or good humored admonishment can help in alleviating hate. The only thing is that these have to be done personally and can take much more time. It's harder to change what we call "pack mentality." To pick off the lone wolves and "lead them to the light" is much easier than trying to convince a group of people that their way of thinking is outdated. I wholeheartedly believe the way is to smother them with love. Don't suck up to them and say they're right about everything (that'd just be feeding their egos) but say things like "I think you're a great person but the way you treat so and so isn't cool. <3" Disappointment is one of the greatest motivators. If someone thinks that another is disappointed in them they'll work to change their opinion.

    I am not a SJW nor do I hate them but I have taken conflict into my own hands and tried to mend it. And you know what? I've been successful more times than I haven't. The trick is being respectful, kind, and sly. Yes the slyness is needed.

    It's hard for me to understand hater mentality because I'm such an open person. If I had a motto it'd be "Don't judge, relate." Or something like that anyway. Even though their are some people I should hate and my instincts tell me to, my heart is never in it. *cough* Donald Trump.

    Hope I was at least somewhat understandable.
     
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  19. No love for hatred?

    Even though it's an incredibly efficient way to consolidate identity? Even though early Iwaku was built upon direct hatred of those who didn't share the "Iwaku view"? We mocked, intimidated and expelled a huge number of social groups who we viewed as "wrong". And I'm not just talking about paedophiles (some of those we encouraged to stay, especially if they were Asian).

    Strong communities don't develop without contemptuousness. Most of the oldest members here are united by their shared mockery of others. We get together and act superior to noobs, and share memories of the time we came together in hatred for subject X or person Y.

    This is not a black and white discussion. The onion is strong here...
     
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  20. I won't deny that there's sound level of Hatred that certain/specific groups of people here tend to feed on.
    But honestly that's something you'll find everywhere that's there are people.

    But being built on it?
    This site is way to welcoming and lenient *cough*All the Migrations*cough* for that to be the case.

    Plus any site that encourages it numbers their days until they become so toxic that no one wants to join, making their life span limited to the active days of their current people.
     
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