Warped Sayings

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RiverNotch

RiverNotch

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Basically, post here sayings that are either twisted so as to be humorous, or are simply humorous by themselves (whether they are legitimate or not). The one rule is that you may post only three sayings at a time, at most.

To begin,

If at first you don't succeed,
you're a failure.

What doesn't kill you
will find a way.

As all roads lead to Rome,
all chatrooms lead to Berlin.
 
Fool me once,
ram it up your arse.

Fool me twice,
you're my new sock puppet.

Fool me thrice,
prison style.
 
An apple a day keeps the doctor at bay
but morticians will still be on standby.
 
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An apple a day keeps the grocer employed.
 
When life gives you lemons,
Make orange juice and leave life wondering how you did it.
 
One scoop of sugar,
makes the diabetic frown.
In the most malicious way!

An eye for an eye,
well that's a lot of eyes.

If you don't got nothin' nice to say,
say it anyway!
 
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When all else fails, poke them in the eye and run like hell.
 
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The early bird
gets the worm
and also the bullet.

Better to have loved and lost
than to still be a virgin.

Also, http://www.gocomics.com/ozy-and-millie/2014/08/01
(The comic, by the way, was originally published six years before The Dark Knight, and since I love it (the comic) that much, I don't want anyone to point out that that was also said by the Joker, alright? Unless the Joker you're talking about is actually older than the comic...
The old site is this: http://ozyandmillie.org/ )
 
A penny saved is still not enough.

When in Rome, actually question how you got there in the first place.

Don't cry over a failed internet connection.
 
"There are no stupid questions. There are, however, many inquisitive idiots."
 
Wait, I thought I posted this one already? Welp, here I go again...


"One bird in the hand is better than ten crapping on your car. "
 
When life hands you lemons, don't make lemonade. Cut those bitches open and squirt them in people's eyes. Then everyone will be just as fucked as you are.
 
Rome wasn't built in a day, it was built in six and one rest.
 
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