Tumbling Down

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Ryan went to bed shortly after Milly dialed Sophie and told her about his burst of anger. Not wanting to hear what she utters or how she informs Sophie, he sits in his bed but does not sleep. Hearing the verdict by being called into Sophie's office, his new therapist present, they agree that along with the medication, he should be required to attend at least one session with Dr. Keniba every month to check up on how he is dealing with life and the stresses of post prison adjustment. They're surprised that he has taken this long to come to them with a problem, even if it's minor, but both Dr. Keniba and Sophie believe that if they deal with it now, his issue won't worsen. Complying to this new pill, Ryan knows that every morning he will have to face the orange and white bottle laughing at his face every time he opens the cabinet to grab his toothpaste. At least he is relaxed knowing that Debby has warmed up to him even though he was his usual uncomfortable self the whole time.

The month passes and Ryan is working hard as a waiter for Phil's Diner, not wanting to screw this opportunity up as well. Popping a pill every morning, it will hopefully keep him relaxed during the day and even help him sleep at night if he is restless. But most of all, he is angry at the doctors and worried that these pills he is taking are a waste of his time and money. They don't make him feel any different, he still calms himself down using his own breathing methods as well as long walks. His second bottle is for emergencies and it's always in his pocket but he rarely takes them. Since Milly has access to the daily ones, he feels obligated to swallow them, knowing she will just tattle on him if the pill bottle is empty by the end of the month.

"Here you go, miss." The plate of eggs, toast, beans, and pancakes sliding in front of Milly as she sits at her usual barstool before going to work. Smiling at her amber eyes, Ryan seems to be in good spirits today, throwing the towel over his shoulder. "Just be careful, the plate is hot." Having to tend to other customers, he walks around the rectangular room, checking to see if everyone is enjoying their meals. Luckily, he finds smiles and compliments instead of glaring eyes and half eaten food. Having some time to talk with Milly this morning when she first walked in, they chatted about the forecast, her plans for today with work and what time he will be home. What he didn't ask is what she plans on doing when she gets home. "Do you need more coffee?" Ryan asks, coming back over, the smell of a freshly brewed pot dancing around him. "And also, Milly, what are your plans for tonight? I can meet you at your work once you finish. Perhaps we can take a walk around the park before heading home?" She must find it odd, he never asks such a thing but perhaps there is some thought burrowing into his mind, disrupting his daily schedule and it must be resolved.
 
Milly is happy that she has decided to eat at Ryan's work this morning, instead of at home. Seeing him walking around like everybody else, helping costumers and everything, makes her smile a little. It still feels weird in a way, seeing Ryan in that surrounding - she hasn't gotten used to the thought of him actually working there. As she eats her pancakes, every now and then she glances at Ryan when he's busy helping someone else. She's happy that they got time to talk before though, since she isn't sure whether they'll have more time or not. Taking a look at the clock, she sees that it's not that long before she has to leave, but still, plenty of time to finish her plate. Looking at the eggs, toast, beans and pancakes, she knows for sure - she knew it the second Ryan put the plate in front of her - that she won't be able to finish it all. She decides to at least eat the pancakes, and as soon as she puts her fork in one, Ryan appears.

She's a bit surprised at his question, she must admit, although not saying it out loud. A walk in the park? She looks thoughtful, but she doesn't really have to think about whether she wants to do it or not, before answering - why wouldn't she want to? "Sure", she says, giving him a bit of a smile, although she's a bit confused. "I don't really have any plans... we can go for a walk, sounds great", she says, putting a piece of the pancake in her mouth, chewing. Thinking about it, she realizes that there isn't anything that needs to be done for work, and so she has plenty of time after work.

~

In the afternoon, Milly puts her pens and papers in her bag, ready to go home. Turning off the computer, she remembers Ryan who is going to meet her at work. As she has been working for 5 minutes more than she should, she figures Ryan is probably waiting for her at the entrance. And so, she takes her bag with her and heads to the entrance.
 
Finishing up at work, Ryan helps wipe down the rest of the tables before he has to clock out. Joseph, his supervisor, claps him on the shoulder, nearly making him jump right out of his skin. "Oh, Jerry, you scared me." Ryan cam't help but think: You are so fucking lucky, Jerry. I have a goddamn knife in my hand, his green eyes look down to the steak knife, I could run you through. Stab, stab, stab. Ugh, don't think about it, Ryan, don't even think about it. Joseph lets out his usual booming laugh, clapping Ryan once more on his shoulder, the man's grip tightening on the knife. Listening instead of acting, Ryan hears compliments soothe his muscles. He is doing well and that is all he needs to hear. Thanking Joseph with a handshake and a beaming smile, Ryan walks to Milly's office with a skip in his step.

Coming up to Milly's gray building, he sits outside on a bench, watching the security guard carefully. Digging his hands inside his jacket pockets, for this summer night has come with a bit of a chill, he feels the smooth wood handle. Jumping up from the seat, he pulls the object from his pocket. It's the steak knife from his last table. Wide eyed, he immediately sticks it back into the black caverns of his denim jacket. Working himself into a panic attack, he starts to breathe heavily, thinking that security guard knows what he did. Stealing a knife from his own restaurant. Oh god, oh god. What am I going to do? He asks himself, quickly looking around for a trash bin to throw the knife away once and for all. There is no way he is going to keep a weapon on him. Practically running towards the trashcan, he throws it in, hearing the clatter against some bottles and paper. It's over, relax. It's over.

"Excuse me?" Comes a woman's voice from behind Ryan and he freezes up, his throat tightening. Even if he wanted to answer, he is unsure what to say for he knows he will be acting suspicious. "Do you have a lighter for my cigar?" One of Milly's coworkers asks him. Turning around once again, he stands tall and lets out a heavy sigh of relief. Raising a brow, the petite woman holds up the Black&Mild, awaiting his answer.

"Um, you know for a cigar you should really have matches. Um, you see the lighter fluid in the... the lighters," he starts out nervously, searching his own pockets for his box of matches, "It tastes different. A cigar -should- be, um, lit the proper way. Matches being that way." Even he likes a good cigar every so often. Seeing the smoke swirl and dance in the air calms him down, letting the hot fire seep from her mouth instead of blowing it out. Smiling, the coworker finds his awkward speech touching, leaning forward once he strikes the match. Within a few puffs, the orange glow covers the entire tip and Ryan finally smiles back. The two talk for a while, the artificial grape smell sticking onto Ryan's clothing. Seeming to enjoy himself, he lets down his guard ever so slightly for this redhead, not caring that she has moved so close to him.
 
When Milly doesn't spot Ryan on the inside of the building, she heads to the entrance, feeling pretty sure that he's on the outside. As she gets outside, she leans towards the wall for a moment, looking around. And there, she spots Ryan. A bit of a smile is seen on her lips as she is about to walk up to him, but her smile dissapears as soon as it got there as she spots the girl next to him. Tilting her head slightly, she realizes that it's one of her co-workers. What is she doing there? Seeing the two of them together like that makes Milly confused, especially with her standing so close to him. She isn't even supposed to be there, is she? Milly can't help but to feel a bit angry at the woman, maybe even slightly jealous at the whole thing, seeing that Ryan seems to enjoy his company. Feeling like she'd probably interupt the two of them if she walked over there, Milly hesitates. Maybe I should just go home, she thinks, and is just about to turn around and walk away, but stops. What a silly thing to be upset about, really, she thinks, biting her lip. That woman isn't going to ruin our night, she thinks, glancing towards the woman and then makes her way over to the two of them.

"Ryan", she says, looking at Ryan with a gaze full of questions, but still looking pretty determined. "I see you've met Stacy, my co-worker", she says and looks at Stacy. "Ryan lives with me", she explains, "for now", she quickly adds, realizing that it probably sounds as if they're husband and wife otherwise. She smiles slightly, although her eyes doesn't look as friendly or welcoming, they're looking rather annoyed. The truth is, Milly doesn't want Stacy there at all - it's supposed to be her and Ryan's night, well, at least their walk after work, she thinks. "Well, we've got to go. Nice meeting you, Stacy", she says, taking a hold of Ryan's hand, maybe a bit too harsh, and starts to walk away, hoping he'll follow.
 
While in the middle of explaining some sort of joke, Ryan feels a hand clasp down on his shoulder. Immediately, the man turns, his shocked face loosening up once he meets Milly's gaze. Those questionable eyes of hers bother Ryan for the most part, not knowing what she is thinking. The only thing he knows is that she seems upset. Glancing to Stacy, she is still waiting for him to finish the joke. Itching his head, the poor man completely forgot what the punch line is. Milly does come to his aid and slices through the air with her words. Filled with annoyance and determination, Ryan thinks it's best to be pulled away.

"Yeah, it was great to meet you, Stacy. I hope to see you around." Ryan lifts his free hand and smiles as Stacy does the same. He has to hold his tongue, knowing that Milly wouldn't like him to question her about a co-worker. They didn't seem to like one another too well and Milly seemed to want to get out of her presence as soon as possible. Not worrying about it, Ryan stands a bit taller, looking to Milly and then to their hands. Giving her the option to pull away when she is ready. "Well, well, aren't you eager to have this walk with me." Comes his calm chuckle, looking past the buildings as they make their way to the park. Since it is on the way home anyway, Ryan thinks it'll be the perfect place to talk with Milly. Glancing back over his shoulder, his eyes search for that mysterious red hair. Blinking and coming back to reality, Ryan brings Milly to a bench and sits her down along with himself.

"Are you comfortable with who I am?" He questions quite seriously, "Because I think it's time that you -learn- a bit about me. You must have questions and I think it's about time that I give you some answers. I am only a guy living in your apartment with you and I can easily leave if you find me uncomfortable afterwards." He hopes that she will remain calm but he feels it's his duty to reveal such things to her. Why he was in jail.
 
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Milly feels relieved to find that Ryan seems to get her, and follows her away from there. She can't help but to wonder what the two of them, Ryan and Stacy, were talking about. She tries not to think about it, reminding herself that she actually managed to get him out of there, but still, the thought can't seem to leave her mind just yet. Ryan is a free man, allowed to do whatever he wants to, Milly knows that, but in a way, she still feels like she has a responsibility for him.

As they sit down on a bench, Milly looks at Ryan, coming back to reality. Wasn't there something that he wanted to talk about? He didn't usually ask her to go for a walk like this, and so she had suspected that there was something that he wanted to talk to her about. "Are you comfortable with who I am?", he asks, and she glances at him, a bit surprised at his question. "Because I think it's time that you -learn- a bit about me. You must have questions and I think it's about time that I give you some answers. I am only a guy living in your apartment with you and I can easily leave if you find me uncomfortable afterwards", he continues, and she nods slightly. He could leave if she wanted to.

Milly sits quiet at first, not knowing what to say. She don't know if she has the courage to ask, but since he's asking her himself, she figured that this is the right time. She clears her throat before speaking. "I like the way you are...", she says, thinking about the time he snapped. "When you're... the Ryan I know", she says, hoping that she's putting the words right. "Well, yes, I guess I have some questions", she says, trying to think of things she has wanted to know but never thought she'd actually ask. "Why... why did you... end up in jail?" she asks, looking at her hands, playing with them a bit nervously. She would like to ask about Stacy, what that was all about, but keeps her mouth shut. She doesn't feel like now is a good time for that. "Where... where did it go wrong... your life", she says, starting to regret what she's about to ask, "to make it go down that path?" she asks, knowing that maybe she's asking for too much. Maybe he doesn't even know, himself.
 
Taking in a deep breath, Ryan gathers his buzzing thoughts. Other than law enforcement, lawyers, judges and a courtroom, his story is his own. In those places, people had to put together the pieces of what really happened that night. Ryan staying silent the whole time, knowing the truth but never speaking out until sworn to. Milly will, naturally, want to know why he spent seven out of his ten years in jail. To be honest, Ryan wants to tell her. At the same time, his heart pounds up against his ribcage, not sure what to say or how to put it. Should I tell her the whole story? Or just the parts said in court? The abridged version? Ryan's hands move through his hair, sucking in one last breath before answering her.

"I'll always be the Ryan you know, Milly. I'm doing everything in my fucking power to make sure that I don't hurt anyone ever again," his eyes turn to her and he can't help but smile a bit at the corners of his mouth. "Especially you who has shown me such kindness." Tentatively reaching over, he slides his fingertips over her jawline until his palm covers her cheek. She would be able to see the kindness in his eyes and the smile that resides there too. Still, it feels wrong touching her in such a way if he is going to reveal what he had done. Slowly he runs his thumb over her cheekbone before letting her go. Linking his fingers together in front of him, he starts his tale.

Throughout the night, the starts, one by one, blink and glint in the cloudless evening sky. Ryan doesn't take notice to them for his gaze is on the ground. He cannot bring himself to look at her - either seeing fright or compassion. His tale starts with him in Russia and the hard lifestyle. His family fought for food to be on the table every single day. His father was nearly non-existant and would only come home when convenient for him. As far as Ryan knows, that scoundrel is dead. His mother, a sour woman with a wooden spoon always nearby to reprimand her children, was hardly the sparkling role model for him. The story moves on to him coming to America, being adopted by a couple who raised him. Then he starts to tell her of the gang violence in his city.

From there, his life took turns for the worst. There would be whole days, Ryan admits, where he didn't feel like himself. Some other person stole his body and he would do things, horrible things. Drive fast, use his fists when necessary (and that was -all- the time), starting fights just for the hell of it, burning enemy territory... things he was asked to do by the leaders. The people he was asked to 'take care of'. It was horrible but he was a stupid and naive kid who craved to dig himself out of the hole he rests in. Then he starts to tell her of a watch he always wanted. The man, a complete and pompous ass, would always make fun of him. Sooner or later, he had enough and hatched a plan to steal such a jewel from him. In the middle of his operation, the man came home and the two of them fought. A gun revealed itself, his gun and in the fury of the fight, Ryan shot him.

Pausing, Ryan finally looks back up to Milly. His chest tightens when he has to stare into her eyes. "I didn't mean to kill him." comes his shaking voice, his whole body craving to repent for what he had done. That was, at least, half of the story.
 
As he touches her face, she can see the kindness in his eyes, and for a moment, it feels impossible to her that he has ever hurt anyone. That word echoes in her mind though, as he starts to talk - again, '...that I don't hurt anyone ever again'. There it is. He hasn't always been the man she sees as she looks into his eyes. Thinking of that makes her almost a bit scared, or at least slightly uncomfortable about it, knowing that the Ryan sitting there has hurt people, done stupid things. It's almost so that she would like him to keep his story to himself, so that she didn't have to know, she wants to keep the Ryan she has gotten to know, not know about the one she wish didn't exist at all. She know she has to listen though, as Ryan himself has decided to tell her, it would be unfair of her not to listen, and she did ask for it, didn't she?

Milly finds it scary as Ryan admits that he sometimes had felt as if someone else had stolen his body, but in a way, she also feels like it would make sense. Him snapping the other day with Debby makes more sense as she thinks about it - maybe he wasn't himself. The thought of another person stealing Ryan's body makes Milly think of some fantasy story, something that can't be real, but as she knows that what he's telling her is real, it makes her scared. It can't be happening, not in the real world, there must be something wrong with him, she thinks, her thoughts going on and on, and she isn't able to bring any sense out of it, at all.

"I didn't mean to kill him", at those words, Milly feels as if Ryan had just hit her in the face, or maybe her chest. Did he just say that? She forces herself to look at him, chocked, but hearing the tone of his voice, vulnerable, she tries to stay strong, not falling apart. She swallows and looks away for a moment, she has a hard time looking into the his eyes as she realizes what he has done, killing someone. Killing someone. She looks at him, sitting up straight and opens her mouth to say something. She should be the one to comfort him, as she feels like he's vulnerable at the moment. He needs a hug, she thinks, but can't bring herself to do so. All she can think of his what he has done. Hugging a murderer. She tries to think of what he said earlier, that he does everything he can to make sure that he won't hurt anyone again, ever again, but it doesn't seem to make a difference to her, not right now. Actions can't be made undone, words are easier that way, she thinks, biting her lip.

"I don't know what to say", she finally says, feeling like running away, but at the same time, comforting him as he has had the courage to tell her. She doesn't want to disappoint him. "I'm just... surprised", she says, glancing at him, his hands. She thinks of the way he touched her, the moment she thought that he could never had done anything to hurt anyone, how would that be possible? She takes a deep, shaking breath, looking away trying to pull herself together. If things were different she would have slapped him, but she realizes she's actually... scared? Really? She looks at him with both anger and confusion in her eyes, as well as she's scared, and she quickly looks away then. "You... you're... not the Ryan I thought I knew", she says, still without looking at him, "...murderer", she says, letting the last word out with disgustement.
 
Ryan can feel the heat rise off of her body, an angry confusion of a scared woman who has realized who she has been harboring. Her voice is shallow and she keeps those eyes away from him. Without his emerald green focusing into her soul, he doesn't know what she is thinking. The thought scares him. Whatever thoughts are running through Milly's mind, he ought to be a part of. Of course she is shocked. I have been retained this whole time. Respectful and polite. She had no other choice but to get to know good old Ryan. The man who never disappoints. Swallowing, Ryan wrings his hands in front of him as nervously as a man can without mentally breaking down.

"You... you're... not the Ryan I thought I knew ...Murderer." Oh the sound of her voice sounded like a bullet through his brain. Murderer. Sucking in a deep breath, Ryan shuts his eyes and tilts his head to the ground. She will judge him on his past actions and forget everything that had come between them this past year. It's a shame, Ryan is starting to really like Milly and her shy persona. But having her call him... having her know what he truly is will sting at first. But with any wound, it will heal. Once that happens Ryan can only hope things will be back to normal.

"I didn't expect you to say anything, Milly." Ryan stands up from the bench, looking across the grassy drumlin. The crunch of his shoes against the pavement reminds him of that gunshot. The shot he alone fired and the death he alone has to carry on his shoulders. Walking a few paces away from her, his heart starting to beat uncomfortably in his head, Ryan swerves back around, attempting to meet her gaze. She might be able to see his soul torn, the repenting man who is trying to clean blood from his past. But it's too late. That crimson liquid has long dried. Taking in a deep breath, he struggles to utter, "I just wanted you to know." That stale air between them upsets him to a point where he is on the verge of tears. Drops filled with the sorrow of having to look into the faces of the victims family as he stood before a podium. Never before had handcuffs felt so heavy.

"And... I can understand if you need time to think. I won't return to the apartment tonight. But what was said needed to be said." nodding as if to convince himself, Ryan considers leaving Milly there. But again, it's late and he wouldn't be able to deal with himself if she didn't return home safe with all her money. "The least I can do is walk you back home. I'll sleep at the motel two blocks down. Just... call me when you're ready to speak. I implore you to hold your tongue for I don't think I can -handle- your daggers. I'm bleeding enough as it is." his voice cracks and Ryan, that strong man who hardly shows emotions, blinks back tears. Tears for Milly.
 
As soon as he says those words - "I didn't expect you to say anything, Milly" - she feels as if she shouldn't have said anything. She should have been quiet. Biting her lip she follows Ryan with her gaze as he stands up. As he looks at her, finally speaking again, she nods slightly. Even though she wouldn't like to know it now that she knows, she can understand why he felt like he needed her to know. Looking into his eyes she can see how broken he seems to be, and in a way all she wants to do is comforting him, making him feel okay again. She knows she can't though, there's something holding her back.

Hearing that Ryan isn't going to return to the apartment tonight makes Milly feel relieved, but also a bit sad. He's right though, she needs time to think. "I implore you to hold your tongue for I don't think I can -handle- your daggers. I'm bleeding enough as it is" - at those words, she feels like running away. What has she done? She wishes she could turn back time and change it all, her words - murderer. She notices tears in his eyes as she glances at him, feeling like she's close to tears, too. She wipes it away with her hand, standing up.

She begins to walk, feeling like crying her eyes out, curling up with Ryan letting him comfort her - the old Ryan, that is. Pulling herself together, she says nothing as she walks back towards the apartment with Ryan by her side.

As Milly reaches her front door, she turns around, looking at Ryan. She looks at him in silence at first, hesitating whether she should keep her mouth shut or actually say something. "I'll call you", she says, turning back, opening the door and walking inside, closing the door carefully behind her.
 
Each and every step he takes with Milly at his side twists another knife in his stomach. There are so many things he wants to say, so many ways that he could attempt to convince Milly to let him stay with her. Yet, the conversation he is having in his own mind is far too complex to share with the beautiful Milly Walker beside him. Ryan tries not to think on how drawn he is into those honeycomb colored eyes of hers. Bright amber beneath a cascade of light brown locks. Still, they walk and his maze of thoughts only grow larger and larger. He should say something. Anything. Yet the closer they are to home, her home, he finds it nearly impossible to even speak let alone converse.

"I'll call you"
Those words sink into his brain, making it feel like jello. Quietly he just leans up against the door, hoping that she may reconsider in the moments between his heartbeats. Still, a part of him knows that she needs time. After all, she did say she would call him. His hand digs into his pocket, feeling the crease of a folded scrap of paper. Pulling out both, he assumes the battery might last for a few days if he doesn't touch it. If not, he will come knocking at her door.

The paper is what catches his attention while walking down the windy avenue. Unfolding it, he realizes that Stacy actually slipped this into his jacket pocket. Her number. Biting his lip, Ryan realizes what he might be asking of her. He has enough money for dinner so maybe he can ask her to join him ... no, it's too late for coffee. Moving to the closest payphone, not wanting to disturb the slumber of his cell out of fear the battery would be drained, he punches the numbers and waits as the mechanical sound of ringing plays in his ear.

Pick up... pick up... pick up... Is all he can think as he waits.
 
Stacy has come home from work, as usual. She's sitting in the living room watching TV thinking of what happened earlier that day. That guy, Ryan, he seemed nice. Milly hadn't looked too happy seeing the two of them together, though, she thinks. Was she jealous? She shouldn't be, Stacy thinks, since she doesn't feel like there was anything going on between herself and Ryan, really. Milly has nothing to worry about, and Stacy knows there is no need for her to feel guilty about it, but yet she is. Maybe she leaned a bit too much towards him, maybe she was too close for his liking? She had thought about what had happened for quite some time, she just couldn't get it out of her mind. She flinches as she hears the telephone, and it takes her a few seconds to realize what the sound is. She stands up, walking over to the hallway where the phone is, and looks at it. Not being able to see how is calling makes her a bit nervous as she usually only answers calls from people she knows who it is, and she considers not answering it, but as it won't stop calling, she answers it.

Hearing that it's Ryan on the other end, Stacy smiles slightly. Ryan. She just thought of him, didn't she? She doesn't say anything about that though, as she listens to what he has to say. She is surprised at what he's telling her. Has Milly really kicked him out, for real? She immediately feels the guilt coming over her again - is this all her fault? Because of what happened before? She keeps her mouth shut about that, nods silently although she knows Ryan can't see her doing that. "Sure, come over here. No problem", she says, realizing that he probably won't be able to find her place. She glances outside, seeing it's getting darker out there. "You know what, I'll meet you. You know that street where..." and so Stacy explains where the two of them can meet, so that he won't have to find her place all by himself. As she hangs up and gets dressed to go meet him, she can't help but to wonder if what she's about to do is the right thing. But, Milly has kicked him out, for now at least, she reminds herself of as she puts her shoes on, and so Stacy is only being a good friend by offering him a place to stay for the night.
 
Ryan eagerly makes his way through Syracuse and to the location that Stacy specified. Stopping under the third streetlight at the corner of Romer and an unknown street to him, the flickering yellow rays splashing against him, casting a silhouette on the concrete. Ryan waits, green eyes constantly scanning. A few slices of life walk past Ryan on the late evening but the world is bland without Milly. Nicholas, the Russian general growls in his ear. "No one can love a murderer." is what he is fond of yelling so that Ryan can, "Face the facts." Ryan sighs, knowing it's true.

For the past year, he has been steadily falling for that amber eyed girl no matter how many times he has tried to convince himself otherwise. They, whoever they are, say that you only know you're in love when you've lost her. He will miss seeing her leg bounce in the air as her eyes devour pages of a book as she lies on her stomach. Its either that or she is hunched over a notebook quickly scribbling. Ryan thought about looking at her books when she wasn't home yet the angel on his shoulder always stopped him.

Seeing Stacy walking down the street, her hair unbound and bobbing by her shoulders, Ryan moves. The whole walk back to her apartment is spent with endless "thank you's" since Ryan really doesn't know a thing about her. Hell! They just met less than five hours ago and he is already asking her a favor. If she brings up Milly, Ryan shrugs and says he really would rather not talk about it. Maybe in the morning.

"Will I be getting the grand tour? Um, also, how long would you like me staying? I'm sort of a wild card since Milly is going to call me with the magic words to be allowed back." Ryan asks as he leans his shoulder into the wall, waiting for Stacy to find the right keys to open up the door. Number 39. Grinning, Ryan finds it amazing that he already feels as though he has known Stacy all his life when, in reality, he hasn't.
 
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Spotting Ryan on the street, Stacy smiles. On her way there, she has been a bit worried that he was going to get lost, as it was only getting darker and darker. On the other hand, there are plenty of streetlights all over the place, so the darkness is almost completely gone, as they head back towards her place. Silly me, she thinks, why would Ryan get lost in a place like this? She doesn't say much as they walk, mentioning Milly only once as she realizes that he doesn't want to talk about her. Understandable, she thinks, trying to think of something else. When they finally get there, Stacy feels relieved, as she has thought of the fact that she doesn't really know him at all. Who knows what he's up to? Thinking of Milly, she pushes away the scenarios she makes up in her mind about him being some serial killer, knowing that he's, or, was, living with Milly.

Stacy nods thoughtfully at his words. She hasn't thought of showing him around really, as it's getting late, but as he's asking for it, she knows she can't say no - doing so would be rude. It's not like she minds doing it, either - it's just that she hasn't thought of it. As she opens the door and walks inside, she turns around to face him. "We'll see. I suppose you could stay here for at least a few days, probably more. I work at the days and then this place is usually empty", she says, shrugging. "In other words, it's all yours", she says jokingly with a smile on her face, getting her shoes of and then her jacket.

"Here's the hallway, as you can see", she says, looking around in the small hallway, having a closet for outdoor clothes such as jackets and coats - although it's half empty - and a mirror beside it. Other than that there isn't much more to see, and so she moves on to the kitchen. It's a rather small kitchen with everything that's needed in a kitchen, such as a fridge and oven, and also a table for four persons, with four chairs, even. On the fridge there are tons of notes that Stacy has written. Moving on to the living room, it's bigger than the kitchen. There's a green carpet on the floor, and a black sofa made of leather. On the other side of the carpet there's a TV, a plasma, in fact. There's also two bookcases with plenty of books in them. "And last but not least", she says, entering the bedroom. There's a bed for two and a closet, both made of wood. The walls are light brown. "I live alone but yet I have a bed for two, I know", she says, shrugging, sounding a bit embarrased. "But you could sleep on the sofa if you'd like", she says, smiling slightly. "Well, there's a bathroom too of course, but I don't think I need to show that, do I. It's at the end of the hallway", she says, walking out of the bedroom.
 
Ryan takes off his shoes as well, following Stacy's lead through the apartment. "A few days is all I need. I'm just waiting on Milly to call me back." Realizing on how bad that could sound, Ryan bites his lip before continuing, "But I know you must be wondering why she kicked me out. To be honest, right now I think I just need something to drink, if you don't mind, and a nice surface to sleep on. I am content even on the floor if you would like." When she talks about the place being empty, he pulls on his work shirt he still has on - the shirt he met her in. "I have work, um, and don't get out until late most nights because of clean up and preparation for the next day. So in other words, you don't have to worry." He knows that he wouldn't steal anything from her, placing a hand on her shoulder for reassurance.

"I really can't thank you enough for what you're doing, Stacy." Ryan tells her, peeking around the bedroom but keeping himself at a safe distance. The last thing he wants is for Stacy to feel uncomfortable around him and ask him to leave. Looking back to the bed, he wonders if her words were an invitation or not. Blinking, he thinks of how wrong it would be to sleep next to a woman he barely knows. After all, it would only cause more of a mess if anything happened. Quickly turning his eyes away, he itches the back of his head before speaking again in a non-challant tone, "Whatever makes you more comfortable, Stacy. I am a guest in your house. Where would you like me to sleep?" That's when his eyes catch the light brown color of the walls - Milly... he immediately thinks, knowing her hair is around the same chestnut color. His heart sinks.
 
Stacy nods, a bit surprised at the way Ryan is acting. Or, rather, talking. To her it seems like he's really trying to assure her that he won't get in the way - at least that's the feeling she gets as she listens to what he has to say - and it makes her feel slightly confused. She smiles as he places a hand on her shoulder, just to show him that she's fine with it, with everything, really. "I'm thinking that the sofa is good to sleep on", she says, not really noticing the way Ryan is looking at the wall. She clears her throat and walks away from there, out to the living room. "I suppose I should get things ready for you as it's pretty late", she says, placing a pillow and a blanket in the sofa.

When she feels like everything is ready, she walks back to her bedroom. Hearing Ryan walking around, turning the water on - probably just having a glass of water before going to bed, she thinks, she sighs to herself. What a day. She glances towards the door, knowing he's somewhere on the other side. She lays down in her bed, thinking. Tomorrow will be a day like any other, except from the fact that Ryan - almost a complete stranger - is in her home. For a few seconds she almost considers telling him to leave. What has gotten into her, really? She doesn't know who he is, he could be anyone. She bites her lip and stands up, opening the door and walking out to the living room. "I'm going to bed now. If there's anything you want to ask, feel free to wake me up... but I'd prefer sleeping the whole night, of course", she says, shrugging, giving him a small smile before turning around, walking back to her bed.
 
"Stacy, wait." Ryan squeezes his arm between her shutting door and the threshold. His dark green eyes shine in the light of the hallway as he simply smiles at her. "Would you like to have dinner tomorrow night? My treat. We can go anywhere in the city. I'm really fine with any kinds of meals. Um, well, you know..." Unlatching himself from the door, Ryan straightens up, wanting her to enjoy his company and not think him weird. "I apologize, I'm tired." He rubs his eye before continuing, "Pick your favorite cuisine and we'll go. I get off of work at six tomorrow so I'll come back here and if you're up for it, we can go somewhere. I can even cook something for you here if you'd like. As a thank you for letting me stay." Bidding her a good night, Ryan moves back to the couch in the dark living room and eventually falls asleep.

For his whole morning shift, Ryan can't help but look towards the door every time someone walks in. His heart always jumps as if being shocked with electricity. But, as he predicted, Milly doesn't show up. You shouldn't be hung up on one girl - there are plenty of fish in the sea and Stacy is one fine swimming fish. Is what his mind tells him after a while of moping. At first he would scoff and laugh it off but as the hours drew to a close, he starts to believe that he shouldn't worry about Milly. Plenty of fish in the sea.

Sitting down in the hallway next to number 39, Ryan now waits for Stacy to arrive home from work. He figures it should be at the most, an hour. Settling his back against the wall, Ryan starts to doze off, the bustling of the day causing him to gently nod off. He dreams of Milly - seeing her smile and hearing her voice again. At least he is quiet while he slumbers. And idea pops into his head as he groggily wakes up, wiping his parched mouth before looking up to the figure standing before him.

"I would like to make you dinner tonight." Comes his smile after speaking, "My treat."
 
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As Ryan asks if she'd like to have dinner tomorrow night, Stacy is surprised. Maybe not so much at the question, but at the way he's doing it - squeezing his arm between the door as if he was some psycho she was trying to run away from. She nods slowly at his words - yes, it sounds good, after all, she is actually letting him stay at her home.

At work, Stacy has a hard time focusing. Every now and then she looks around just to see if Milly is somewhere, but no, no sign of her. In a way it's a relief to her as she was worried about meeting Milly and her confronting Stacy about Ryan or something, but when Milly isn't there at all, it worries her even more. Trying not to think of it, Stacy works all of her hours, although she feels like the day will never end. And she has to admit, she's a bit nervous about coming home, as she knows what Ryan said the day before.

When she finally arrives home, she spots Ryan outside the door almost immediately. Her first thought is, that why is he there? Why hasn't he gone inside? Oh, maybe he doesn't have a key? She smiles slightly at his words, so, he's making her dinner. Not going out somewhere is fine with her - staying at home might be just what she needs, she thinks, unlocking the door and stepping inside.

"I was a bit surprised finding you outside... I thought you had gone inside... but of course, you can't, as you don't have a key.... right?" she says, thoughtfully, talking both to herself and to Ryan. She's sitting in the living room, glancing toward the kitchen where Ryan is, wondering what he's up to.
 
The smells from his dinner start to radiate outwards as Stacy talks about her dreary day at work. Chicken, pasta, and some sort of vegetable that frying in oil on a pan. Calling back to the living room, Ryan tells her about his day. He had to clean up after table three which wasn't too much fun. The kids sitting there decided to have a food flinging contest with the jams and jellies against the window. As she could imagine, it got everywhere.

"How was work today?" He asks, but other than listening intently to her, Ryan speaks of the delight of working after a year of searching. He tells her that he always had trouble pinning down a job because of his education stopping at high school. If she asks why he didn't go to college, he says money reasons and not enough government assistance. He would rather have not gone then be in millions of dollars of debt.

While in the kitchen, a voice grows in the back of his mind. Flirt a bit. It tells him and Ryan chuckles a little, raising his eyebrow at such ideas. "I have never been good at flirting..." He mumbles aloud, the sound of the bubbling water covering his voice from Stacy. Everyone can flirt, Adam. The soothing voice coaxes him, a warm sensation coming over his tight chest. You have a beautiful woman in the next room, do you not? Why not give your luck a try. After all, Milly obviously doesn't want you. Take a girl who does. Can't you see it in her eyes? "No..." Ryan whispers, hardly paying attention to such details when talking to Stacy or any other girl. C'mon, it'll be fun. Just let yourself feel what to do next and go with it. Be Adam, Ryan.
 
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Hearing about Ryan's day, Stacy feels rather happy that she's having a sometimes pretty boring job, than having to clean up after kids like Ryan did. She's okay with her job - she doesn't love it, but she doesn't hate it, either. For Stacy, it's just one of those things you have to do in order to get by, in order for life to work at all. Of course she doesn't mind having good coulleagues, and she smiles slightly as she thinks of how lucky she am, having such nice colleagues as she has - except from Milly, though. She hasn't really gotten to know her. But it isn't weird, she thinks, as they don't sit next to each other or work that close to each other.

Glancing toward the kitchen, Stacy feels that she's pretty hungry already. Considering helping him out a bit, she doesn't move though, as she's hesitant about it. He said that he'd make her dinner, and so she should let him, she thinks, not being used to others doing anything for her. Leaning back against the couch, she looks at the TV, although it's on but there's no sound to it. Expecting Ryan to be in the kitchen preparing their dinner, she's rather surprised as she notices he's right beside her. It makes her jump slightly as she realizes it, and glancing back toward the kitchen, she smiles at him.

"Um, just make sure to... keep an eye on the dinner", she says, glancing toward the kitchen once again but then paying all of her attention to him. She tilts her head, wondering what he's doing, as it seems like there isn't anything he's about to ask her. That was her first thought as he approached her, that maybe he wanted to ask something, but she quickly realizes that she's wrong, as he puts his hand on hers. Smiling at him, still a bit hesitantly as she isn't sure of what he wants, she takes a chance and leans over towards him. "What is it?" she asks, looking a bit confused but still openminded about whatever he's up to. Putting her hand on his other one, she rests her head on his shoulder as if she was to hug him.
 
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