IN A WORLD THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS, NOT EVEN THE PEOPLE IN IT, THERE WAS ONE MAN. EXCEPT MAYBE HE WAS A GIRL. A HOT GIRL WITH BOOBS. UNLESS SHE IS A GUY. A HOT GUY WITH BOOBS. BUT THERE WERE ALSO ZOMBIES AND WEREWOLVES AND VAMPIRE HIGHSCHOOL WEREWOLF ANIME ZOMBIES WITH WIZARD POWERS. That's all fine and dandy, but an evil wizard zombie threatens the peace in the lands by trying to kill the shit out of everyone, but he can only succeed if he finds all the pieces of an ancient token, crafted by elves in a furnace stolen from the gods by evil...elves...or something... You, adventurer, must stop him! Or join him! Whichever is more fun! [This is probably in the wrong place and will die horribly!] The lands are divided into several regions, each ruled by a powerful leader who wants the whole world for himself (or herself), and must defeat the evil zombie wizard whatever by whatever means necessary! And then they have to fight with each other for dominance...or for their love... ...In the mountains lies one kingdom, high above, their people are short and strong, and stubborn. The mountainfolk are tough, surviving harsh winters and nothing else because that's the only season in the mountains. The harsh conditions and the king's (or queen's) iron fist, literally a fist made of iron, rules unconditionally. Yes, in the mountains, the men are men, and the women are too. To the east lies the swamps, ruled by the grumpy swamp dwellers, each one more grumpy than the last. In the swamp, the dishonest thrive, the king/queen is a murderous coward, and everyone smells like butts. No one likes living in the swamp, but you do what you have to in order to survive. Yes, even that. The plains to the south are pretty nice. The people that live there are nice, they help each other out and they live in peace. The king and/or queen hang out with the peasants from time to time, and the nobles have more than their own personal interests in mind when they interact with other. The people of this region are nearly perfect, aside from the devil worshiping. Oh, did I forget to mention that? In the north is nothing. Don't go up there, it sucks. Trust me. If you really want to, I mean REALLY want to, go for it, but don't come crying back to me when things don't go your way. Out west is the desert. The desert people are tall and thin, and good with their hands. They work hard, and seem to be loyal to their king and/or queen, but secretly want to overthrow them. They keep to themselves and rarely leave the desert, but with the wizard snowman or whatever trying to shake things up, they might be more inclined to relocate. Somewhere in these lands are elves and werewolves and zombie elf werewolves in highschool, but high in the mountains, lies a secret society. It's actually in a high school, but it's a secret high school, and in there is where the main bad guy lives. I forget his name, but he's a big jerk with super powers and he's really hard to kill and he wants everyone to die or something. I forgot what I wrote before, and those words are all the way up there, so whatever he's doing, it's bad. I blame his upbringing. He never had a positive role model growing up, and now look at him. All secretive and evil, trying to rule the world or kill it or some combination of the two. Well, that ain't going to fly with most everybody, so the kings of each area are recruiting soldiers of fortune to go and beat up this wizard zombie and stop him from breaking everything. Pick a region, hell make up a region, pick a people, hell be a king or a queen, y'all can even fight over it, just be as stupid as possible. This is to get all the crappy writing out of your system and just be goofballs. Be dumb as hell. I encourage it. I guess don't break the global rules though. Like, of the site. But yeah, otherwise just go nuts. Unless this kind of thread isn't allowed. I don't even know. ---------------------------- [I'ma be the evil jerk wizard guy by the way] Frank the wizard zombie was both a zombie AND a wizard, because that's what he always wanted to be. He also hated everyone, mostly because they mocked his dream. "You can't be a zombie AND a wizard, that's just silly" they'd say, before throwing apples at him. "You'll see!" he would yell, under the barrage of unripe fruit. "I'll be the greatest zombie wizard there ever was, and I'll make you pay! Pay in blood! Because I'll also be a vampire! And that's like money to them!" Frank was also a vampire, you see, and he knew what they used for money since he and Dracula's life savings are both kept in a blood bank. Frank made himself giggle with that awful joke, but then realized he didn't know who Dracula was, since this was a separate universe. Frank decided he should stop sampling his potions on himself before he had an existential meltdown. His revenge fantasies fueled his hatred and drove him to the edge of madness, before throwing him over it, allowing him to hit every branch of the crazy tree on the way down to the hell that is insanity. He also hit a few branches on the zombie tree, and on the werewolf tree. But only a few. Using his evil wizard powers, Frank the Magnificent, which he was only known as within the confines of his own mind, sought to destroy everything, but even with his near-godlike powers, he still needed something to help him achieve this goal, otherwise the author would just be making one post for laughs. For this, he turned to the ancient elvish token of Remoulade. Forged in the fires of hell, in a furnace stolen from the gods, the token had some kind of power that no one, not even its creators understood, and Frank wanted that power, for he thought it would help him rule the world for a bit before he killed everyone. However, his evil, evil plans would not go unnoticed, and the leaders of the nearby regions began to get restless as they felt a storm brewing.