Trollplay

In the distance was a small man...or a boy; whichever you prefer. He was crawling all dramatically but on a rock. When he got to the edge of the rock, he fell for hours and hours screaming and clawing at the air until he finally hit the ground. "WHY, BABY JESUS? WHY?" He began crawling again and while he was doing so he found something he had never seen before...

IT WAS A FREAKING PLANT! He looked and it and decided it was a gift from Baby Jesus. That's when Baby Jesus fell from the sky right in front of him. "Listen me boy," said the most holy and glorious Baby Jesus as he shit his pants, "I'll show ya exactly how we do it." He began doing crazy wacky thing to the plant like dry humping it and kissing it...The boy closed his eyes at some of the things he did to the plant.

Awhile later poopy smelling Baby Jesus tapped his shoulder and gave the boy a bong and lighter. Before the boy could mutter a thank you the poopy face Baby Jesus was gone. He just sat there until Baby Jesus came back down and showed him 'how they did it up in heaven'. Pretty soon the boy was high as tits, but he continued his journey to stop, or befriend or maybe both, the evil zombie wizard Frank. That's is when the boy relized his name was Fanta.
 
KAAAA-BAAAM!
Suddenly a kawaii-desu snail appears out of thin air. He is so happy he decides to become evil and kill all the people on the planet.
Soon Earth will be controlled by kawaii-desu snails.
And slugs, since they just haven't found their shells yet :c

"I am King." Says kawaii-desu snail.
 
Despite the sight of the scythe, Rock walked over and punched him square in the face with a hard left hook, an exasperated look on his face as he gritted his teeth, turning around to run at the cat girl, and poke her giga-breasts with needles to see what effect this would create, before moving on over to Frank…and shaking his hand?

"You truly are the shining example of an evil villain sir. It is now my regret we must engage in combat of the violent sort. Anyways, you steal men's souls, yadda yadda, you say 'what is a man? a miserable little pile of secrets!' and then we go at it!"

And with that, Rock hopped back to prepare for battle...
 
Frank had no idea what the fuck was happening in his living room. Glass and blood everywhere. Tits all over the place. Random assholes and snails falling from the sky.

He sensed the presence of the Baby Jesus from far away, and was confused. "...Jesus??" He had not seen his dark lord in so long, why would he come here now?

Death Junior and the skylight bandit were about to fight, and as Frank's whore sister ran upstairs crying like a jerk, Frank decided to do something that he would consider the smartest decision of his life.

He took a step backwards, into the kitchen.
 
As D.J. was punched in the face, his Death look started to come back. Paler skin, his hair turning jet black, his face melting off to reveal a bony face with no mouth or nose, only eyes. scary yellow eyes. His muscular structure enhanced as he also grew in height a little also. His hair was let down to his shoulders. D.J. grabbed this guy by his face slowly crushing it then threw him into the nearest wall. His scythe multiplied into double scythes. He gripped one in each hand and said "You wanna try that again punk?"
 
Fanta finally started closing in on the secret headquarters of the evil-wizard-zombie named Frank. Really It was just a lame highschool with lame and over-dramatic people. Pshhh, Fanta was no where near dramatic. He wasn't lame either; Fanta considered himself to be...just dandy and possibly a bit fancy. Fanta was just outside the highschool hiding in the bushes when Baby Jesus appeared to him again saying, "GET A FUCKING DISGUISE YOU FUCKING IDIOT OR THEY WILL KNOW WHO YOU AREEEEEEE!" Baby Jesus disappeared imediately with his last word ringing in the air. "Ohhhhhhhhh." Relized Fanta. Fanta beagn to summon all of his constipated strength and a Baby Jesus's power to grow a small bushy caterpillar on his upper lip. "Let's go!" He told the caterpillar as he burst open the door with his toe he happened to sever off 7 months ago. He looked over the room and screamed "DON"T YOU WANT A FANTA FANTA!?!" at the strange people in the room. He wanted Frank but none of them were Frank and that meant he was going to have to take a look at the cat woman's BOOBIES. Fanta always wanted his own...
 
Rock felt himself being thrown through a wall. How he hated the people who had transformations: They gained a random boost of power! But thankfully, he was somehow not that badly hurt due to the laws of battle manga, and the lack of real world physics and such, which would have tethered down anyone else. He casually got up as if nothing happened, though he happened to be coughing up major amounts of blood, he totally just shrugged it off. This was a battle with a person he never met before and didn't really like all that much, so he figured he'd be a good sport about it.

"Okay, that hurt pretty bad, but I don't really care." He told the skeleton-dude. "I think the wall did more damage to me than you, so congrats on finding a powerful ally. The walls are almost everywhere, and they can strike at any moment. Your tag-team work with the wall is most admired for the massive amounts of a lack of technique that have surely been the result of much training in the mountains. Also, YOU GOT MAIL MOTHERFUCKER"

He fired his Annihilation Heat Vision again, making the go about a dozen directions as if it were a game of light cycles or snake, making a path away from the scythe wielder and then suddenly back at him right in the ankle to fuck his shit.
 
As the beam hit D.J.'s ankle, he fell to one knee with out letting out a sound. He looked up with an angry look then smirked. "You're write about the wall...his eyes started glowing and out of no where, 2 walls came off of it's hinges and smashed "superman" into a sandwich, then hopped up, dropping his scythes and came down on the two walls with the guy inside it and smashed down on it. He rolled it up into a ball and kicked it out the window.

After it was all over he stayed in Dark form, because he knew he would come back. In the mean time he crafted one of his scythes into a crown, for he felt he needed the recognition. He clenched a fist looking out the same window and waited for the man to come back.
 
Suddenly, a writhing horde of snakes storms into DJ's mouth and begins devouring his insides.
 
((O_o))

DJ, falls to the ground choking and dying slowly thanks to the snakes eating out his insides. He fell to the ground trying his best to call out for help.