Trials of Inner Trust

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"Then I will be nearby, so long as the prince is there I will be there, so I'm afraid I won't be joining the meal. But I just ate and will again after the prince has no more need of me, but I'll arrange a reprieve from duty after breakfast." he was smiling again and walking with her through the garden.

He had butterflies now with the thought of getting to talk to her father, and she would be there so he would know once and for all if she left something of what he did. It was enough to make him loose the ability to form fords for a long moment, and when he found his tongue again he was trying not to look at her. "So where am I escorting you to? Do you have anywhere to be before dinner?" he was finally able to keep his face under control so long as he wasn't looking at her. It was a perfect night and he wished he didn't have duties to attend. But he did and could not shirk them, even for her. He was just glad that for once duty and spending time with Raquel were one in the same.
 
The evening air was not crisp, but the smell of the day was fading. As Anterius escorted her through the garden, Raquel kept glancing back at the knight. She was delighted to get the chance to walk with him, but her mind was in such a flutter over the thought of him speaking to her father she couldn't think of anything to speak of, and she didn't want to just babble. It seemed he too was not for idle chitchat at the moment, which was fine by her. If things went well they would have more then enough time to talk in the future.

"No, I have no where were I must be," she admitted softly. Racquel was not one to be demure, but the situation put her in that most peculiar mood. "It was in my mind to walk the Memorial Hall." The Hall was more a glorified trophy room, with the armor, weapons and banner of past conquests. Wars and battles fought for a multitude of reasons and the reminder proudly displayed so that the nobility did not forget the force that could be brought down upon them should they have delusions of upsetting the status quo. She had no fantasy of the glory of war. She had been told the brutal consequences of fights fought by not a few men, but legions. The veterans, the populace, even the land suffered, no matter what the reason was. A good war was a war that was prevented. It was though good to reacquaint oneself with history, and that's what Racquel would do sometimes when having to play court. She loved the palace gardens, but it was best after midnight, when even the lovers had gone away and you could quietly enjoy the manicured plants in silence.

"I suppose you will have to return to the prince too soon?"
 
"He does not expect me until diner." he said. "You're not choosing there just because it appeals to me are you?" he asked shooting her a glance. The paintings were a best, and the tapestries. Most of the weapons and armor were too ornate to be truly practical. Anterius had never been in a pitched battle. He had been in mock battles and the mass jousts where entire lines of knights all charged at each other over and over again and the last on on their mount was the winner. He wouldn't be either, unless the prince was too or the castle was sieges. Both would be a disaster.

He did however escort her inside and towards the museum and kept a careful eye on her as they approached, if the lady had an interest in armor and weapons that might explain why she hadn't been married off yet. And why she kept looking at him.
 
Racquel let out a short happy laugh. "I promises you, I'm not suggesting it just for your benefit." It might not have been something she would have admitted to most. Many people didn't understand that a lady could still be a lady and appreate knowledge beyond needlework. There were times she felt the need to educate people, but often the confused looks by other ladies made her feel utterly defeated. Not everyone thought like that of course, but too many did and she often felt very out of place.

So far she had never been made to feel odd when around Anterius, and she hoped that it continued to be so as she slowly opened up to him. As they walked along, her eyes went for the various maps, both topical and of battle plans. Though as they passed one impressive piece of armor she did pause and look at it, before shaking her head slightly to herself. She did not understand the worth of loosing mobility for such outrageous protection. "Is that even practice," she let the words slip out before she thought about the fact that she had company.
 
He looked at it and shook his head. "I think thats from one of the eastern empires. their cataphracts were also known as Iron Men. Both the men and the horses had no skin showing at all." he watched her looking at it. "When theres a hundred men trying to stab you all at once and so many men behind you that you can't move you're be thankful for a covering of metal. Our suits are lighter though, and we have lighter steel and have developed a few tricks to keep us safe. And we have the bonus of being able to fight on foot. Really I think its just here because if it's rarity this far west."

He kept glancing at her to see if she was listening or getting bored. "I will admit that walking around in this all day is tiring. You're lucky not to have a uniform." he looked up at the painting of the eastern desert and the wonders that were meant to be hidden there. "Do you think the stories of the Sassanids are true? That they really did hide the gates to the garden?" if he were a knight instead of a guard he'd quest to find out.
 
Racquel listened to what she was told, and thought about his explanation. She intellectually knew that different armor facilitated different styles, but she had most of her instruction by someone who did value flexibility above most other defenses. Out on a field, instead of lurking in the woods, was a different style of fighting, and one she would never want to be involved in.

"The garden?" The question surprised her, but she smiled at Anterius. "I don't know, it's hard to imagine anything could be there, but," she looked at the painting. "But, if there were a garden, hiding it would only work for so long. It would be wonderful to see." It hadn't occurred to her before that he had a fanciful side, but it was a nice surprise. Dutiful people could be dull sometimes, but not Anterius, he did not seem limited to his position in life, at least not in her eyes. She then continued to walk, but her eyes were barely on the artifacts.
 
"If you can ever leave once you get there. Which I'm not sure is the case. But I'm not exactly an expert, or have any hope of finding out. We all have our place, and I don't for a second think I'm the only one who entertains the wish I could change mine. But voicing a wish like that in my position might constitute treason. I will not abandon my duty, no matter what it is." He wouldn't say this in front of anyone and in front of the wrong people it could get him into trouble.

"You are interested in arms and armor?" he asked his eyes on her as he stopped in front of an axe taken from a defeated war chief. "That's not a healthy interest for a lady of court, but then you've never fit that mold entirely well. I..."

There was the ringing if metal as dinner was called and he stopped. "Seems I'll have to escort you to dinner." the world always interrupted. "If m'lady is ready to dine."
 
Was he warning her? No, Racquel did not believe that was what he was speaking of as he inquired about her interest. Indeed, he had been danincing around his own desires that did not fall into his position. An act of trust almost, and perhaps an invitation to trust him. Sadly, the timing was awful, for dinner was about to start.

"No, I'm not," she said with a hint of mischief. "However I do not get much say in this myself. I am glad to have an escort to dinner at least." They started heading out, because of duty despite a mutual wish that it could have been held off. "When we continue this discussion, you will have to tell me if you've ever thought of anywhere else you'd go if you had the freedom to do so. I'd like to hear about it."

It was a subtle change, but once they started passing others on the way to the dinning hall, Racquel became a bit more stiff. It wasn't even something she really noticed, but when she had been with Anterius she had relaxed some, but now they were no longer alone.
 
He fell a step behind her without answering. It was improper for him to walk next to her as an equal. He was her stone-faced escort, someone whose life was less valuable than hers. It was a good thing she knew the way. He kept an eye on those that they passed, not because he believed any would harm her but because he liked watching the expressions on people's faces. "I will." he said finally, as they entered the press of people entering the dining hall and headed for the royal table.

For once Anterius felt as one with the splendor of the hall. Tomorrow he would get his chance to make his plea. And then he would talk to Racquel about everything and anything. The day would be theirs. He took his spot against the wall behind where the prince would be sitting and took the position he would remain still in for at least a couple of hours, but not even that could defuse the floating feeling in his stomach.
 
Dom had watched his Knight wander off with the Lady Racquel as he was forced to listen to even more inane prattle as he moved among the Court that seemed to slog down once they were outside. Like they hadn't been slow enough inside, the outside was worse. Everyone wanted gossip and news and this and that and Dominic could feel the stares stabbing into him.

He could almost hear the whispers. They made his cheeks redden as he tried desperately to keep up with the flow of conversation that moved in eddies and whorls around him, leaving him floundering alone in the middle. Today was supposed to be different though, he might not have found the Wizard but he wasn't going to run away even if it was uncomfortable and it was so very very uncomfortable for him.

Dom felt light headed and his lungs felt empty no matter how many breaths he took.

There was the chime of the bell though that signaled dinner and the slow court suddenly started move quickly towards the royal dining hall. Without a Guard, Dom was buffeted here and there by overly aggressive diners who wanted to make their dislike known. It was known. Dom made his way at a sedate pace into the dining hall. Before he would have started a fight. He would have shoved back and started a scene, he would have landed at least one hit before being dragged away and shamed. But now? All he really wanted to do was to go back to his room and bury himself in about five layers of blankets.


Once everyone had taken their places and the first round of food and drinks were brought out, the King stood. He clicked his spoon on his goblet and the hall hushed as they stared up at him, all pondering the exact same thing. What was going on? Dom certainly didn't know and watched his Father expectantly. Maybe his Brother's wife was with child? That'd be incredible news.

The King cleared his throat. "Today We have a very important announcement. The cementing of a long standing ally by joining their family to ours through marriage!" Now everyone was staring at Dom and the young man sank down into his chair, his face hot. "The Gryffon family's-" Dom sank farther, his world falling apart. Surely. Surely his Father wouldn't say that... of all things.

"Daughter Racquel to my youngest son Dominic!" The King finished with a flourish as Racquel's Father stood and the two men toasted.

Dominic just felt sick.
 
As Racquel took her seat by her mother, she glanced fleetingly at the royal guard that was taking his spot by the wall. A smile upon her face that she couldn't help, nor wanted to remove. She was happy, delighted, maybe even ecstatic. It was almost ashame she had to come to dinner, for she wanted to be in her room hugging her pillow. Then she would not have to stifle her feelings into something with more decorum.

Her father glanced over at her, himself having a grin upon his face as he nodded to his daughter in greeting. Of course he was happy, whatever politics he was doing was enough to grant them to sit at the high table tonight. She was happy for him. "You look lovely dear, though I wonder if you shouldn't have seen me before dinner. Too late now I suppose," her mother said in greeting.

Racquel was slightly confussed by the statement, but she didn't pay it much mind, for she had better things to think about. As the first course came around, Racquel's appetite was whetted. The smell of everything was wonderful. It matched the afternoon so perfectly.

Then the King stood to make a toast, and the brightness of the world dimmed. Racquel was so stunned that the spoon she had been playing with in her hand slipped and fell on to the table. Her face pale she looked at the King and her father in something akin to horror, then at the Prince Dominic and no amount of education in the proper behavior in court could have kept her from cranking her neck to look at the one that she had just walked and chatted with earlier. As soon as she looked at Anterius, she wished she hadn't, suddenly this nightmare was now real.
 
And just like that his aura of calm duty was shattered. He was sure his lips parted before he managed to tear his eyes from the standing king and noble to look at Raquel, and saw her looking back at him. He forced his face to stiffen and lifting a hand to temporarily hide his face he pushed his visor down to obscure his face and then resumed his stance. He couldn't look at Raquel so instead his eyes found the back of Dominic's chair and for the briefest second the hand of the pommel of his sword tightened.

Two strides was all it would take to do when his duty was to prevent. But his veins were not white hot with anger, it seethed withing his stomach but we was... he bit his lip his helmed head giving an irretrievable shift forwards. Only tensing every muscle in his body allowed him not to shake. He was angry, and he was heartbroken. Suddenly he wished for dinner to be over and is he wasn't so sure he could not trust his voice or what he looked like under his helmet he would have asked the price for permission to leave.

Duty at personal sacrifice, never had the price seemed to steep.

It was his own fault, becoming to invested with a lady beyond him, how long had they been....?
 
Dom felt guilty. So guilty, even though he hadn't done anything to encourage this. He tried to keep the unhappiness off his face but it felt. His food turned to ash in his stomach. He wanted to stand up and scream that he'd never marry her. He wanted to throw the chairs and smash the dishes.

He wanted to throw himself out a window.

Now that was a shocking thought that sobered and scared him. Would he rather die than be with a woman? This woman, any woman... Would death be preferred? It numbed him to the core that the answer was 'yes'. Dom very carefully folded his napkin up with trembling hands and sat it on his plate. He was done with food. He stood up amidst the now constant gabbing and noise of the court in full swing of gossip.

Shoulders hunched and head down, Dominic left the great hall not really caring who's feelings he hurt or what would become of him. He had to say something to Anterius... He didn't know what to say or how to say it. He was sorry, so sorry for nothing he had control over. His eyes stung and his throat burned, his chest ached with the withheld emotions.

How terrible. How horrible. For all of them. Dom took the steps slowly this time...
 
By the time Racquel turned her head away from Anterius, her mother was grabbing both her hands, talking excitedly. The words though did not register. Something about being excited? No, she was not excited. Far far from it. It felt like her ears were ringing, but slowly Racquel realized it was the sound of all the people talking in the banquet hall. With glazed eyes she looked around. None of it, none of it made any sense.

Eventually she was encouraged to eat, by her mother, or father, or it could have even been a helpful servant, she did not know. She did not taste the food however, nor did she notice Prince Dominic leave. No, despite the press of people in the room there was only one person she noticed, and she could not even look at him.
 
The prince stood and it took Anterius a moment to realize his charge was leaving and with his visor still down and without looking at Racquel he followed. Duty.

"My liege." he called out his voice distorted by his visor. "Prince Dominic."

Why.

The cold night air hit him and as he followed, there was no one else around just him following the prince and only one of them armed.

Treason!

He would never murder, killing in a fight was different and murder was not a line he would cross. His hand lift his sword as he caught up with the prince. "Where are you heading?"

Duty.

If the prince was going to bed... he would be free fro a few hours.
 
Dom stopped and breathed hard, he rubbed his face. Trying to form the words that would get Anterius to forgive him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I had no idea what my Father had in mind..." He swallowed and turned around to look up at his Knight. "You have to believe me, you know I don't have any interest in her..." He shook his head.

"She's a lovely woman I'm sure but..." He looked out of his depth. "I don't love her and I'm not going to marry her, Septor. I give you my word. First thing tomorrow I'll talk to my Father... I'll do whatever it takes to make this right. I promise. I promise." Dom's voice was cracking.

"You're free to go for the night... You should find her... tell her I won't go through with this. I saw you looked at her. I won't do it. So... I'm going to go to bed." Dominic blabbered. He'd never been good with words but now? Now all words were coming out in stutters and stammers and nothing seemed to come out right. All he really wanted to say was how could he love her when he was so in love with Anterius? There wasn't room for anyone else in his heart but Dom knew that he didn't have a chance. Not with Anterius. Not with anyone.

Dom started to ascend the stairs not looking back at Anterius.
 
He stood there. The prince didn't want the wedding...

He turned and marched back to where he least wanted to be, visor still lowered and entered the hall to stand behind the prince's empty and lean other to speak so that both Racquel and her mother could hear him.

"Pardon m'lady. But your betrothed has ordered me to escort you safely to your chambers once the feast has ended."

Your betrothed.

He could spit.

Without waiting for a reply he backed away to the edge of the room, taking his place against the wall, a steel statue who would not ruin the night with selfish impulse. Once this business was concluded, we would formally request to the king to be sent on a quest.

A quest far away.
 
Racquel only nodded. What else could she do. In all honesty she was surprised he would send his guard, but perhaps not, he already must have known about the announcement, it was why he had sent his guard to escort her after court. It was foolish perhaps, but the decision being made without her was bad enough, but that she was the last to know made it even worse. She was but now the play thing of the royal family, no longer a person.

It seemed though the night would never end, but with the dessert course served, she knew she could quietly make her escape. Lightly she set down her spoon, then took the napkin off her lap. This indicated to the waiting sergeant she was ready to leave the table, and her chair was moved back. Such ceremony was always a bit unnerving to her, but it was considered proper.

Standing, she glanced at the knight briefly before walking out. All she wanted to do was hunch over, but that wouldn't do, so she walked out with her head held high, with all the poise and grace crammed into her since she was old enough to walk. Once out of the banquet hall and beyond the main corridor some of her bravado slipped away. If anyone took the time to look at her they might think she was coming down with an illness. She felt wretched enough to be sick after all. "Very considerate of his highness," she finally was able to get out.
 
He followed her in silent procession. Only once they were away form the light, warmth, and noise of the hall did he speak.

"The prince Dominic may not adhere to protocol, but he is as bound as we all are to the interests of the kingdom."

What that meant not even he was sure of and he fell silent again hidden behind the perforated metal and narrow eye slits. Tonight, we would never forget.

He wanted to do something wildly selfish, he wanted to take her hand and pull her into his embrace and take her lips with his. He felt WRONGED.

There was the clatter of metal of stone as in a fit of claustrophobia the metal of his helm turned from a blanket shielding him from the world into a prison and was cast off. It was just them here now and the mask of duty meant nothing.

"Your wedding will bring strength to the kingdom." he said taking a step towards her, a gauntlet clad hand rising uncertainly.

He would regret it. He would regret not doing it.

Impulse won over and his hand gripped her upper arm and he pulled her roughly to him, he was sure his gauntlet was bruising her skin but that did not matter.

Lip lips found hers, uncertain at first but then they pressed home. He needed to get this out of his system and he almost sobbed against her.

He would be hung for this. Banished at the very least.

"Tomorrow before sunset I will be gone. do not come looking for me."

Anterius Septor... as one final duty to his family would save them consequence and leave by himself.
 
When she heard the clatter, she paused and turned around. His face looked like a wild tempest of uncertainty. As he spoke of her impending wedding, she shook her head. Not wanting to hear him speak of it, wishing to will away the event. Yet that was foolish, childish thinking, but she was far beyond being rational. She had been brought to a great height today, only to have her foundation cut from out from under her so that she ended up falling far further then she knew she could.

Then Anterius was before her and Racquel found herself squeek in surprise as he grabbed her arm forcefully, but it was quickly cut off as he kissed her. Surprise froze her, but only for a moment, and then she found herself wanting more. When he moved away she almost wished he'd never kissed her at all, for it had stirred her emotions.

"I do not want you to go," even as she said the words she knew how selfish they were. Would she rather him suffer, watching what was to happen, for them to know that this moment could never, ever, ever happen again? She took a step back, an expression cold, as she tried to hide the turmoil inside. It could not last and the emotional weight brought her shoulder down, and she closed her eyes tight, trying to prevent them from spilling tears. "I apologize," and she turned around, intending not to look at him again.
 
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