Things you never thought you'd say

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Minibit, Dec 16, 2015.

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  1. been a while since we did one of these

    My latest one is "oh thank god he's just posessed"
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  2. Gaben stole my cheesecake!
  3. "Dude, seriously. Stop riding the dog."

    "Your butt does not have asthma."

    I have tons more... o_o
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  4. "why won't this stupid baby just die already"
    "I just got a heart from digging through poop"
    "why does the devil keep trying to give me babies"
    "praise jesus for explosive diarrhea"

    video games
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  5. The other day, I said: "Yay Monday!"

    I bet I'll come up with more later. lol.
  6. This sounds like Binding of Isaac talk right here.
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  7. "I think my hands are bipolar" is the most recent one.
  8. "Don't sit on the cat."
    "Stop kissing the bananas."
    "Those dinosaurs did not ask to be carelessly thrown under the kitchen table."
    "Why are there cheerios sticking to the back of your diaper?"

    I'm a parent, so I'm saying weird things out loud everyday. >__>
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  9. yup
    I've had no motivation to do anything lately so I've just been playing this dumb game a lot.
  10. A real conversation between my husband and I as we described shapes to our daughter:
    Me: Circle
    Husband: Square
    Me: Octagon
    Husband: Hexagon
    Both at once: Pterodactyl

    Why we would end with a dinosaur is beyond us. More amazing was that we said it at the exact same time without realizing what the other would say. We're weird but it made for a good laugh.
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  11. "I can't help but laugh at random niggers."

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  12. You say things you never thought you'd say when in charge of teacup humans. *nod*

    More things:

    "Don't handcuff yourself to the dog."

    "That's his butt not his bellybutton!"
  13. A kid referring to the staff rolling a grill out. "What's that?"
    Me and the other guy moving it: "Tell you when you're older."

    That's about it. It's mostly expletives and curses otherwise.
  14. "We don't need none of that hentai"
  15. "I love you."
    • Nice execution! Nice execution! x 2
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  16. "Have you ever tried peeing with a penis before?"
  17. "I don't want to listen to music right now"
  18. "Sharks are sexy."
    "I'm in debt."
    • Bucket of Rainbows Bucket of Rainbows x 1
  19. "Try walking?! I know its a fine art beyond your abilitys, but please try it?"
    "Evry time you sit down, your asshole starts eating-up the matress."
    "You'r commiting bodycide! Stop it or I'l call the cops!"
    "High colesterol? No shit... you shuld be married to it, vith the kind of crap you eat!"
    "Why vaste time smoking 2 boxes a day? Just go suck on a car-exhaust, same efect, and you'l save alot of money!"

    Just a few of many things I say to my cousin vhen-ever we hang-out together, vhen her propenzity for un-healthy lifestyle drives me crazy and I say stuff w/o thinking. How on Earth are me and her blood-related, I cant begin to figure out :c . Literaly polar-oposites.

    Never out of anger, I care about her alot, thats vhy I get so worked-up over it.
  20. "You're damn right it's my puzzle."
    "This is how we weed out the stupid turtles."
    "Oh, that's way more exciting than a tame zucchini."
    "Just help me out of this freaking aquarium. [reluctantly] Please."
    "Imma go with Cthulhu eating a pineapple. What about you?"

    Amongst others. These were the ones I'd taken down on to my phone after being said, because, without context, they're rather amusing.
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