Things you never thought you'd say

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Minibit

Returned from the Void
Original poster
Invitation Status
Looking for partners
Posting Speed
One post per day, 1-3 posts per week, One post per week
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced
Preferred Character Gender
No Preferences
Genres
Urban Fantasy, High Fantasy, Epic Quest, Sci-Fi, Time Travel and World Hopping, Steampunk, Action/Adventure, Modern Drama, Mystery, Slice of Life, Romance, and many more.
been a while since we did one of these

My latest one is "oh thank god he's just posessed"
 

Gwazi Magnum

Previously Gwazi Magnum
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per day, One post per day, 1-3 posts per week
Online Availability
This changes too frequently to give anything reliable.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept
Preferred Character Gender
Male
Genres
Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Adventure.
Gaben stole my cheesecake!
 

Turtle of Doom

The Monster Under Your Bed
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female, Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Fantasy, Magical, Romance, Dystopian, Religious, Post-Apocalyptic, Zombies (but the plot has to consist of more than just mindlessly murdering the undead), Steampunk
"Dude, seriously. Stop riding the dog."

"Your butt does not have asthma."

I have tons more... o_o
 
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Onyx

mushroom prince
Posting Speed
Multiple posts per day, 1-3 posts per day, One post per day, 1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
Evening/Late Night (MST)
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Nonbinary, Transgender, Primarily Prefer Male
Genres
High fantasy, modern fantasy, gaslamp fantasy, Anything Fantasy, dark comedy, supernatural, paranormal, psychological, yada yada
"why won't this stupid baby just die already"
"I just got a heart from digging through poop"
"why does the devil keep trying to give me babies"
"praise jesus for explosive diarrhea"

video games
 

Artorias

Highlord of the Tal'Darim
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per week
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Prestige
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Primarily Prefer Male
Genres
Action, Fantasy, Romance, Modern, Magical, Sci-Fi, Steampunk, etc.
"why won't this stupid baby just die already"
"I just got a heart from digging through poop"
"why does the devil keep trying to give me babies"
"praise jesus for explosive diarrhea"

video games
This sounds like Binding of Isaac talk right here.
 
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Midnight Maiden

The Savior
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
Multiple posts per day, 1-3 posts per day, One post per day, 1-3 posts per week, One post per week
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Sci-fi, Fandom(ESPECIALLY love crossovers, Marvel stuff, and many others), superhumans, Magical, Romance, Fantasy, etc.
"I think my hands are bipolar" is the most recent one.
 

Fluffy

Dead Inside
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
One post per day, 1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
It varies. I'm a house wife and stay-at-home mom, so I got no schedule really. Lol
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Science fiction, fantasy, supernatural modern, romance, horror, apocalyptic, Star Wars universe, superpowers, historical, all things bizarre, grimdark, tragedy, melodrama.
"Don't sit on the cat."
"Stop kissing the bananas."
"Those dinosaurs did not ask to be carelessly thrown under the kitchen table."
"Why are there cheerios sticking to the back of your diaper?"

I'm a parent, so I'm saying weird things out loud everyday. >__>
 

Onyx

mushroom prince
Posting Speed
Multiple posts per day, 1-3 posts per day, One post per day, 1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
Evening/Late Night (MST)
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Nonbinary, Transgender, Primarily Prefer Male
Genres
High fantasy, modern fantasy, gaslamp fantasy, Anything Fantasy, dark comedy, supernatural, paranormal, psychological, yada yada
This sounds like Binding of Isaac talk right here.
yup
I've had no motivation to do anything lately so I've just been playing this dumb game a lot.
 

Reina

The Dark Queen
ROLEPLAY DEPARTMENT
Invitation Status
Looking for partners
Posting Speed
Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
In the mornings usually but only during the week. Weekends are devoted to the family.
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female, No Preferences
Genres
Modern, Magical, Romance, Medieval
A real conversation between my husband and I as we described shapes to our daughter:
Me: Circle
Husband: Square
Me: Octagon
Husband: Hexagon
Both at once: Pterodactyl

Why we would end with a dinosaur is beyond us. More amazing was that we said it at the exact same time without realizing what the other would say. We're weird but it made for a good laugh.
 

Diana

Divine Space Witch Ò◇Ó
ADMINISTRATOR
Invitation Status
Not accepting invites at this time
Online Availability
10AM - 10PM Daily
Preferred Character Gender
Female
"I can't help but laugh at random niggers."

I KNOW IT SOUNDS OFFENSIVE. YOU DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT MAN, THE CONTEXT.
 
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Turtle of Doom

The Monster Under Your Bed
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female, Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Fantasy, Magical, Romance, Dystopian, Religious, Post-Apocalyptic, Zombies (but the plot has to consist of more than just mindlessly murdering the undead), Steampunk
"Don't sit on the cat."
"Stop kissing the bananas."
"Those dinosaurs did not ask to be carelessly thrown under the kitchen table."
"Why are there cheerios sticking to the back of your diaper?"

I'm a parent, so I'm saying weird things out loud everyday. >__>
You say things you never thought you'd say when in charge of teacup humans. *nod*


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More things:

"Don't handcuff yourself to the dog."

"That's his butt not his bellybutton!"
 
W

Windsong

Guest
A kid referring to the staff rolling a grill out. "What's that?"
Me and the other guy moving it: "Tell you when you're older."

That's about it. It's mostly expletives and curses otherwise.
 

Brovo

Ferret Dad
Invitation Status
, ,
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
Afternoons and evenings, some weekends.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female, Primarily Prefer Male, Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Post Apocalypse, Horror, Romance, Survival...

Gwazi Magnum

Previously Gwazi Magnum
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per day, One post per day, 1-3 posts per week
Online Availability
This changes too frequently to give anything reliable.
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept
Preferred Character Gender
Male
Genres
Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Adventure.
"Have you ever tried peeing with a penis before?"
 

Weegee

Like ouija except better
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
One post per day, 1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
Weekends or mornings before work during the week
Writing Levels
Beginner, Elementary, Intermediate, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Female, Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Romance, Horror, Modern day fantasy
"I don't want to listen to music right now"
 

Marchosias

Pain and Pleasure 2 sides of the same coin!
Invitation Status
, ,
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per week
Online Availability
Eastern Europe timezone
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Female
Genres
Scifi, Modern, Thriler, Cyberpunk, Post-Apocal
"Try walking?! I know its a fine art beyond your abilitys, but please try it?"
"Evry time you sit down, your asshole starts eating-up the matress."
"You'r commiting bodycide! Stop it or I'l call the cops!"
"High colesterol? No shit... you shuld be married to it, vith the kind of crap you eat!"
"Why vaste time smoking 2 boxes a day? Just go suck on a car-exhaust, same efect, and you'l save alot of money!"

Just a few of many things I say to my cousin vhen-ever we hang-out together, vhen her propenzity for un-healthy lifestyle drives me crazy and I say stuff w/o thinking. How on Earth are me and her blood-related, I cant begin to figure out :c . Literaly polar-oposites.

Never out of anger, I care about her alot, thats vhy I get so worked-up over it.
 

Lil Pom

Professional Fruit
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per day, One post per day, 1-3 posts per week
Writing Levels
Adept, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
No Preferences
Genres
Gritty magical world, high fantasy, historic/steampunk, pirates, college (with a twist!), organized crime/mafia
"You're damn right it's my puzzle."
"This is how we weed out the stupid turtles."
"Oh, that's way more exciting than a tame zucchini."
"Just help me out of this freaking aquarium. [reluctantly] Please."
"Imma go with Cthulhu eating a pineapple. What about you?"

Amongst others. These were the ones I'd taken down on to my phone after being said, because, without context, they're rather amusing.
 
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