Things you never thought you'd say

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Oblivion666

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"Mom, I'm going bald. Can you get me fancy shampoo so i don't go bald."
 
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LogicfromLogic

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Things I never thought I'd say?

Mostly comical.

Let's see here;


Don't touch the utter, makes this shit awkward.


I was wearing a cow suit.​

Please do keep talking, I'm really enjoying the conversation. (This was talking to someone I really detest actually having conversations with because they are idiots. For once I enjoyed the conversation. They are known for saying the dumbest most horrible shit, why do I keep talking to them? Because they are related to me and I can't exactly stop talking to them).


Serious?

I hate you.

Never dreamed I'd say those three words but they came out one day, directed at someone who might have earned it but still it's not something I am proud of.

 

Jorick

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Fantasy is my #1; I will give almost anything a chance if it has strong fantasy elements. Post apocalyptic, superhero, alternate history, science fantasy, some supernatural, romance, and a few fandoms (especially Game of Thrones) are also likely to catch my eye.
"Okay, fine, let's all just go ahead and skullfuck the skeletons I guess."

D&D gets weird sometimes.
 

Minibit

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"I can't help but laugh at random niggers."

I KNOW IT SOUNDS OFFENSIVE. YOU DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT MAN, THE CONTEXT.
UM.
 

Boba Fit

The Sarlacc is my swolemate.
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"Leicester City are top of the Premier League"

“My girlfriend stopped being bitchy” (Has since resumed normal course)

“I don’t want a blowjob"
 
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Yatagarasu

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"(A Name), you are an asshole. In fact if I was a gay man, I would've fucked you already."
 

Lil Pom

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Dervish

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"I would like to place a pre-order for Black Fag."

That was the most embarrassing slip of tongue I have made in years. Fortunately the EB Games clerk got a good laugh out of it.
 
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Shiri

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"Be sure to rub your co- ROB! CUSTOMERS! Be sure to ROB your CUSTOMERS!" - I was trying to make a joke about him selling phones, but I stammered right in the beginning. It still made him laugh so....win?
 

ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ

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"Why did you stick a pea up your nose?"

"No, daddy doesn't have marker on his back, that's a tattoo. And no, you can't color on your back like that."

"I swear to God if you don't stop touching me I'm going to make you eat your own hand." - to my husband

"Stop wearing those pants on your arms and try them on right."

I have tons more. I have kids....
 

K3l

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"Leave David Tennant alone; he doesn't need to know about this."

"People need to quit being so snippy about where they live and just eat their artificial pepper."

...And those are from years ago.

I feel like I should have more, but... I just never take note of the bizarre things I say anymore. Moments like these just happen too often now and I've kind of just accepted it.
 

Boba Fit

The Sarlacc is my swolemate.
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...I cannot for the life of me think of any instance one would say this. Like, at all. Ever. Why.

Well....she was offering that, or another part of her body. It was an....OR..... situation, so I made a clutch decision in the heat of the bone....moment. Thats the word. Moment.
 

Minerva

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"I just threw up pizza and am now listening to Metallica over the toilet."

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Diana

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"I can't help but laugh at random niggers."

I KNOW IT SOUNDS OFFENSIVE. YOU DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT MAN, THE CONTEXT.


OKAY. BACKSTORY. Since forever, My brother likes to try and get me to accidentally say really weird/stupid/terrible/offensive things in public. So like, when he's giving me his order for take out for instance, he'll right down "DINOSAUR" or "PENIS" and there I go reading the list to the cashier and blabber the word out before I realize what happens. That one is one of his favorites for obvious, trolling reasons. T____T These days I usually catch it before I blabber, but... IT MAKES ME LAUGH WHEN I SEE IT.
 

Minibit

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Urban Fantasy, High Fantasy, Epic Quest, Sci-Fi, Time Travel and World Hopping, Steampunk, Action/Adventure, Modern Drama, Mystery, Slice of Life, Romance, and many more.
OKAY. BACKSTORY. Since forever, My brother likes to try and get me to accidentally say really weird/stupid/terrible/offensive things in public. So like, when he's giving me his order for take out for instance, he'll right down "DINOSAUR" or "PENIS" and there I go reading the list to the cashier and blabber the word out before I realize what happens. That one is one of his favorites for obvious, trolling reasons. T____T These days I usually catch it before I blabber, but... IT MAKES ME LAUGH WHEN I SEE IT.
Lol! Ok that makes more sense xD
 

Shiri

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"Mooooooom, my hat did it again!" Haunted hat, yo. It moves when I'm home alone. xD
 

Minerva

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Writing Levels
  1. Give-No-Fucks
  2. Intermediate
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Preferred Character Gender
  1. Male
  2. Female
Genres
Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Alt History, Anything really. It honestly depends on how I'm feeling. I am always up for a good, solid Cyberpunk RP. I'm also up for Crossover RPs.
"I think I may have hit another plane of existence."
 

Kagayours

a ghost
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"OH YEAH BY THE WAY GUESS WHAT" I said to my roommate at like 2 AM, right before I was about to go to bed. "DID I SHOW YOU MY PRECIOUS CORN MUFFIN???"

I was referring to Paul McCartney.

I thought he looked cute on the cover of an album I had recently bought.

But my roommate didn't know that that's what I was talking about until I climbed out of bed and showed said album to her. And the entire time, I was laughing for no clear reason.

I was very tired.
 
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