The weirdest illness/injury you've ever had?

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Within three days after arriving at China for a holiday, I got a fever so bad that I was feeling dizzy, on the verge of vomiting, fainting, etc etc etc. It crippled me for that day. Just...for that day...

COZ THE NEXT DAY AFTER WAKING UP FROM A 12 HOURS SLEEP, I WAS PERFECTLY FINE.

Like whut =_=
 
Someone said my name so I was summoned here.. weird injury? I've never had any weird ones.. Unless you count internal bleeding from Hemophilia but that's something i was born with. Random internal bleeding I see as pretty normal.
 
1. I had the same thing Seiji had with the gas, I was in the hospital in intense pain with my friend, my boyfriend met us there while we were waiting for a doc to see me. I felt like I needed to shit and accompanying the tiny pellet was a chorus of farts. I came out and continued waiting. Then I felt the need to evacuate my bowels again, again, a chorus of angels weeped as my bowels unearthed ghastly demons. This happened two more times before my boyfriend figured out that I was just dealing with gas.

2. I was born with a parasophogeal hernia, basically half my stomach was in my chest and half of it wasnt, a foot of my bowels and a bit of my pancreas liked traveling around as well. It caused immense pain because my stomach cut off its own blood circulation when I'd eat. Vomiting aided the situation, sad as it is. I tried using benadryl to knock myself out when I couldn't take the pain- it ended up just making me too tired to move while I was in immeasurable pain. The surgery wasn't too bad. But two days before I got that, I was driven mad with pain and in my writhing on my bed, I smashed my head against a wall to knock myself out- got a noise complaint and a bruise for that.

3. I got hospitalized for coldsores. Seriously. My doctors and parents had no idea what was wrong with me. I withered away at home for two weeks, my throat unable to handle swallowing my own spit, let alone food or water. By the time I got to the emergency room, I was on so many ivs that in between the passing out from fatigue of being alive, it looked like I'd blink and they'd change out. After two days and 36 bloodtests, they found out it was herpes simplex. Coldsores. I got so mad that I forced myself to get up and start walking and gaining my strength back. It was fucking ridiculous.
 
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Oh my god, it was definitely a moment, if anything! I sort of bent over the wrong/right way, and it was like,



PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTT.

And then I felt so much better after.
Damn Pumbaa!
 
Someone said my name so I was summoned here.. weird injury? I've never had any weird ones.. Unless you count internal bleeding from Hemophilia but that's something i was born with. Random internal bleeding I see as pretty normal.

What about that time you almost cut off your finger with a saw? >:[
 
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Its not really an illness but I had super bad stomach pain and I went to the hospital and was given morophine which didn't help and made me sick...I went to my doctor and she perscribed me ibuprofen which I was supposed to take 3 times a day for 3 days which after those 3 days made the pain come back worse...I went to a GI and found out I had ulcers...really bad ulcers. So now I'm not allowed to take ibuprofen.

Strange injury...well, aside from me being hella clumsy and tripping over nothing and almost falling on my face or up the stairs from time to time? Nothing lol
 
A week long, low-grade fever that preceded my appendicitis. Ominous.
 
I'm not sure this counts but it was defiantly weird.



When I was getting surgery on my feet, the doctor forgot to numb the area before making the incision. I'm an incredibly laid back guy, so I didn't really scream or actually do much other than clench my teeth and tell him that he forgot a step. They had to put screws in my feet because of the gap it would have made but put them in wrong. About a month later, said screw came popping out of my foot from the bone. Oddly enough it really didn't hurt. That was weird.
 
In elementary school I had a lung infection (I'd had this shit for a whole year and it took dad & step mom quite a long time to realize I didn't have a year round cold) so I got my medication, and my dad took it upon himself to provide me with penicillin.

You can see where this is going.

I woke up in the middle of the night covered in hives and my throat closing up. Only allergy besides the chemicals they use in dry cleaning. Was stuck in the ER with an oxygen mask. The equipment was so loud I couldn't hear the movie they had playing for me. Frankly I don't remember much of the event.

Interestingly enough in elementary school almost every year at the end of the school year and during February break I'd get majorly sick. It was a recurring theme.


Once we were adopting a ferret and it was a VIOLENT ferret. We returned the lil shit because he was just one irreparable animal ): Once we were taking him out, trying to train him I guess to tolerate us, and he bit me on the nose. I have a little scar you can feel if you boop my nose.


I was laying in bed before I had an orchestra concert, stretched, and pulled a muscle in my neck. It ached a little bit but was mostly fine until I got to the concert. Then it REALLY started to hurt. Playing the violin with that torn muscle KILLED. My neck was in pain for a month after that. We went on a school trip to an amusement park and even though I only went on kiddy rides (I have a fear of heights and things that move as fast as rollercoasters do) my neck started seriously hurting. One of my friends gave me a brutal (but helpful) massage.


One of my friends broke her wrist when she was little by jumping onto her couch.
She also broke her ankle recently by tripping on a pillow when trying to get off of said couch.
 
Getting diarrhea and constipation at the same time is the worst thing in the world.
 
I had shingles. . .when I was 12 >>

Otherwise just a worn out body from years of training 18 hours a week in gymnastics. Therefore, much problems.
 
Had a pilonidal cyst once. It was so bad I couldn't sit down. Really bad since it was during halo 3's launch. It finally began draining one day at work. Had to ask my boss to leave.

"Aw, everyone. Matt's gotta go home. His ass cyst is leaking!"

In a subway. A small subway store.


Recently I vomited so hard part of my stomach was pushed through my diaphragm. To anyone who doesn't know, that's an internal hernia. Drinking a spoon of soup was enough to make me feel full. The docs order? Wait til it shrinks and slides back in. Which it did.

Vomiting is the worst feeling in the world. Total loss of body control.
 
And in 2009 I was hit with swine flu. I was stationed at an air hub at the time so I'm guessing it was because of so many travelers from all over, during the peak of the swine flu pandemic.
 
Let's see... Illnesses, no. Weird injuries... I got one.

Last weekend of basic training, drop my girlfriend (now wife) off at the hotel she is staying at off-base (warrant out, can't access military facilities... long story) before my parents drop me off at the squadron I stayed at. On the last weekend of basic you're allotted up to two days of "base liberty" where you get to eat what you want, walk around downtown, whatever. She gets out of the car, and I scoot over one seat and I feel a pinch in my groin. Not crippling, but weird. Get to the squadron and get out of the car and it feels like someone flicked my berries, once again not crippling just uncomfortable. As the night goes on the pain gets worse and worse, and I'm starting to get worried. I take a look at it in the bathroom stall and it looks... like a weird purplish color, not deep just appears bruised. One of the guys in my flight was an EMT before he joined so I figured I'd ask him to take a gander.

He instantly recoils after looking at it and highly suggests that I go to the hospital because my ball is backwards. "The tube is on the wrong side."

So now the whole flight is dying at my expense and I've got to go to our MTI and inform him that my ball is twisted and I need to go to the hospital. I head downstairs with my buddy, at this point the pain is SO real that every step is like I'm getting a ball-kick. I make it to the hospital and 2 hours later they wheelchair my ass to a back room. Doctor comes in, tells me to strip, fondles my buddies for like 15 excruciating minutes as he "untangles them" and sends me off to get an ultrasound.

ENTER ultrasound technician. Puts a tissue under my to-go bag and squirts that hella weird jelly shit on 'em. And as he spends the next 20-30 minutes rubbing this giant machine on my junk, he proceeds to fucking talk to me like my balls aren't just exposed as fuck. Asking me how my day was, how it felt to get off base and see my family, if I was excited about the military. Talking to me about the base I was going to, how he liked it. And I'm just frozen in a state of "Please just shut the fuck up you're making things worse".

Eventually it all goes over, I get a little paper that says I had a "Testicular Contusion" and I keep it framed in my house.
 
I had to get one of my salivary glands removed.....

For some reason it was producing stones (Like kidney stones, only smaller) that were blocking my ducts and making my neck swell up. They removed one of the stones from the bottom of my mouth and had to make a hole at the top of the duct in case another stone was produced. That worked for a few months but then another one of the glands ended up getting blocked up and they had to remove the gland completely. People always give me the weirdest look when they learn about it, but I can't explain any more than that to them because they still have no idea why is was doing it.

Not me, bu my son had a small chunk of his earlobe ripped off. He and his sisters were playing, next thing I know they're all screaming that my son's bleeding. At first it just looked like his earlobe was split, but when I took him to the ER, the doctor told me that there was a piece of it that was actually missing. We never did figure out how it happened, although we believe it got caught on the raised head of a nail that was used to hang something on the wall. We never did find the missing piece, and he ended up having to get his earlobe glued together.
 
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I had to get one of my salivary glands removed.....

For some reason it was producing stones (Like kidney stones, only smaller) that were blocking my ducts and making my neck swell up. They removed one of the stones from the bottom of my mouth and had to make a hole at the top of the duct in case another stone was produced. That worked for a few months but then another one of the glands ended up getting blocked up and they had to remove the gland completely. People always give me the weirdest look when they learn about it, but I can't explain any more than that to them because they still have no idea why is was doing it.

Not me, bu my son had a small chunk of his earlobe ripped off. He and his sisters were playing, next thing I know they're all screaming that my son's bleeding. At first it just looked like his earlobe was split, but when I took him to the ER, the doctor told me that there was a piece of it that was actually missing. We never did figure out how it happened, although we believe it got caught on the raised head of a nail that was used to hang something on the wall. We never did find the missing piece, and he ended up having to get his earlobe glued together.

Note to self: Children may experience loss of earlobes.
 
I tore my frenulum once when I was having sex.
Its the little connector of skin that keeps you dong jacket on. I ripped it...during sex... I have never seen a condom with blood until that point, and I never new how much it would hurt having your foreskin disconnect from your dick..
My girlfriend still reminds me of it every once and a while
 
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Weird (or at least non-standard) injurys? Plenty. Comes vith the teritory vhen you practice hard-force aspects of martial arts for a long time. Not going to list them here since I culd probably go-on for a page, I'l just list one very stupid one, that vas my own fault.

So it vas 12 or so years ago, vhen I vas just starting out, during a demonstration of focused aplication of chi, that our SiFu (master) vas performing for us, esentialy smashing a concrete panel, vith his fist. The thing came apart like a piece of ply-wood, needles to say, seeing that live for the first time vas mind-bogling for all of us. Aniway, he vas explaining the theoretical base behind the motion, staying relaxed, focusing on the panel, driving the force thru it in your mind, etc. etc. He made it seem so easy, and I asked myself - ok, how hard can it be? Just stare at a panel for a dozen seconds, be relaxed, and punch-down on it and thru it, like its not even there. Simple, right? So in my infinite self-confidence, I decyded to try it vhen he vasnt looking, despite all of us being duly warned NOT to try it.

Wel... long story short, it didnt vork. I didnt even put a crack in the damn thing vith my relativly soft, tender (at the time) fist, all that force re-bounded back to me, and I practicaly destroyed my left fist in the proces - 3 fractured digits, nerve damage, dislocated vrist, etc, etc, etc, had to spend half a month in a hospital on re-constructive surgery and recovery. And to say it hurt like hell is a under-statement... And it never fuly healed. Even today, I cant splay open my left fist completly, theres sort of a "limiter" there, vhen it starts to hurt a litle at about 80% open and my digits start to twitch. Lingering nerve-damage I guess.

But as they say - pain is the best teacher. XD Sure as hell teached me a LOT about respecting my own limitations and not testing them until I'm ready.
 
There was a scorpion caught in one of my lacy under things and I didn't know until I was en media res of a sexy moment. Ended up with a sting somewhere between hip and buttock.


Poison Control assured me it happens more than I'd think, but I think they were just being nice.
 
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