The most gentlemanly of insults

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Lewi, Feb 11, 2015.

  1. So. I just watched the Gentleman's Dispute, and the Max Gentleman videos as done by the talented Markiplier and Captain Sparklez. Which brings me to an interesting game idea. If it gets enough likes here, I will start one in the board games section. My lovely idea for a game is that you are to come up with the most gentlemanly insult a gentleman could ever think of. (If you watch the videos I mentioned, there were some really funny moments and it gives you an idea.) Game is, you must come up with an insult or response to the person who posted before you but it has to sound as gentlemanly as possible. I want to laugh! So I will start with my personal fave from the videos. AHEM.

    "Well it seems you've taken after your mother; She was so fat she ate gout for breakfast." -Captain Sparklez
     
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  2. "You are nothing but the putrid, vile afterbirth of an incomprehensibly ignorant pair of worthless degenerates."
     
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  3. "Why sir, you walk as if you have soiled your undergarments and look as if you have smelt them."
     
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  4. "Sir, if I may, I would recommend against investing in chastity garments... for if your daughters take after your wife, they will not have use of them."
     
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  5. "I say sir, from a distance I thought you too be a fetid pile of dog filth."
     
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  6. "My apologies sir, but I must ask of you to vacate the premises - your visage is making the patrons uncomfortable."
     
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  7. "Oh dear, I must apologize. I wasn't aware that I was speaking with the ill-conceived love child of a man and a hound after a night of elderberry wine."
     
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  8. "My apologies sir - I was under the impression that your wife cared for her horse more than you would like."
     
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  9. "Please sir, that was no horse, it was me, Dio, and I find your comparing myself to a stallion of such fine breeding quite adequate. You, on the other hand, seem as though your money is merely compensating for the reason as to why your wife absconded from your door, before finding her way to mine."
     
    #9 Caramon Zero, Feb 11, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2015
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  10. "My dear - it would have been quite the compliment if the horse in question wasn't a mare."
     
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  11. "Why you surly bunch of daft prats! Won't you please conclude with this senseless bickering? Everyone knows that you're all no better than a repulsive sack of swine excrement in any light."
     
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  12. "Perhaps we are no more than filth to your soiled eyes, but at least our bickering shows both sharpness of mind and strong standing opinions! Something you sir, seem to be deprived of..."
     
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  13. "Well good fellow at least I'm not deprived of the ability to use such a wit as my own of which you fail to see the importance of. You know not the true value behind fine manners and good taste! Your family couldn't afford the hub cap off of a Studebaker!"
     
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  14. You are the most simplistic of female dogs, brethren!
     
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  15. "Piss off ya' cheeky fookin' coont!"

    Oh gentlemanly..

    "I fornicated with your spouse, had you raise my son upon your coin, and have set him up as the sole heir of your holdings. Your drinking habits are most uncouth, a shame you didn't hear her sounds of pleasure and delight of the flesh.. Ta-ta."
     
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  16. "I would rather be the manure that fertilizes the field than the useless nothing that my current company seems intent on being."
     
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  17. You scoundrel! I would not beat my servant with this filthy glove of yours, never mind wipe you faecal speech from your vocal opening!
     
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    • Take off glove
    • Study target slowly from top to bottom
    • Shake head
    • Put glove back on
    • Walk away
     
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  18. "Oh, you were speaking sir? I must apologize for those utterances were remarkably similar to that of a spewing sphincter."
     
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  19. "My apologies, sir, but I feel in obligation to tell you this; should a cannibalistic tribe get hold of you, they would most likely not even think about consuming you."
     
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