The Many Languages of Love

[Hana]

Nope, this isn't a literal linguistics thread talking about the Romance languages. :P

Everyone has their own "love language" — the words, behaviors, and attitudes that make them feel loved and that reveal how they express love.

What are these things that make you feel loved, and how do you express your love for others? Do you share a secret gesture with your significant other, an inside joke? How do you show your love to your parents and family members?​

 

[Dipper]

With family, it's plenty of inside jokes, roughhousing, and occasionally, hugs. They know to leave me alone when feeling down or agitated, and always invite me to family outings.

With friends, insulting nicknames, friendly outings, time spent together. We often get together to play games on my old 360 and ps2, which I have no intentions of giving up. Soccer on the beach after a long day, when nobody actually wants to go home because that means showering and the sand's so nice and warm...

With my girlfriend, time. Feels good to have her in the general area, even if we're not talking. Like my family, she gives me time to stew in whatever I'm feeling before approaching, but I make sure to talk to her if she's in need of it because that's how she likes it. Playful teasing and physical touch.

That's it.

 

[Mu]

That point when you develop a language where you know they're joking and when they're serious, and even when sometimes that line is blurred you can laugh it off, not hold grudges about it and move on.

I like hugs too.

 

[Aero Blue]

Experiencing things together. Shows, food, music, debauchery, beautiful silence under the moonlight. That goes for friends or s/o's.

 

[Elle Joyner]

I have so many replies... But I'm on mobile so to be brief...

One of the sweetest gestures hubby and I have is our SHMILY notes. We write the word somewhere... Car windows, bathroom mirrors, post it notes... Whatever... For the other person to find.

It means See How Much I Love You :)

 

[Razilin]

my wife and I have a pet name for each other that evolved out of a corny joke I tried to make that ended up falling flat

oh, and she also teases me because while I'm all intimidating, bossy, and hardcore at work, I'm a complete lazy and immature kid at home

 

[Joan]

For me, I have to be able to spend time with you and talk to you. I, um...I tend to vent quite a bit when something irritates me, and I need to be able to safely do that. So, the people I'm closest to are the ones that will either listen to my venting, vent with me, or help me work out where I'm being unfair with my venting so that when I confront the issue, I'm in a calmer, more reasonable mindset.

Understanding is the biggest thing. I need you to understand me, I need to understand you, and I need our conversations to be as free of misunderstandings as possible. I've got some mental stuff going on that makes it quite difficult for me to understand other people and be understood by other people. So, not only do I need the mutual understanding with those I'm close to, I also need them to be prepared to help me understand others. They're my only "bridge" of sorts.

Physical contact is an excellent one too because I'm only okay with physical touch if I already trust the person. So, the fact that I'm being okay with that physical contact reinforces that trust.

My closest friends are also the ones that tease me like there's no tomorrow XD That's most definitely a result of the understanding thing, but it's absolutely great.

Edit: My family, friends, future significant other...This applies to all of them.

 

[Shiri]

With my parents it's just helping them out. We are an awkward bunch so things like hugging doesn't do much besides make us sad. So we've opted to helping each other out with projects to show love. Last week my mother and I assembled a cabinet together. It turned out too small, but that's besides the point. xD

With my friends, we literally confess love all the time. Typically after we have a really good laugh.

 

[Greenie]

With my family, it's mostly inside jokes and laughing and stupid corny things, poking and patting each other on the head lol. Except with my parents, who give hugs and kisses.

With my friends, I basically grab on with claws and don't let go. If I go out of my way to talk to you, if I crack jokes, tease and troll you, that means I really love you and our friendship is special to me.

With my Mister, it's words, inside jokes, though physical touch mostly. I've established I'm not a touchy feely huggy person... Except with him. We tend to know what the other is thinking and can cheesily finish each other's thoughts.

We don't have the 'you hang up, no you hang up' relationship ;D we hang up whenever we want because when you love someone, you don't take offense to stupid stuff like that.

 

[Yatagarasu]

affection...a lot of affection. Physical and verbal affection

 

[Kagayours]

If romance is a language then I guess that means I'm mute.

 

[Kagayours]

@Hana No need for sympathy hugs, here. I have no interest in learning this language. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Hana]

@Hana No need for sympathy hugs, here. I have no interest in learning this language. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The love I meant here could also mean not just romantic love. ^^;; It also extends to what you think is love (familial, platonic, it doesn't have to be romantic), and how you show you care for other people. o.o

 

[Kagayours]

The love I meant here could also mean not just romantic love. ^^;; It also extends to what you think is love (familial, platonic, it doesn't have to be romantic), and how you show you care for other people. o.o

But if we're applying this to any kind of love, then I feel like the way I show my affection varies depending on what the actual relationship is. o_o

But, if we're narrowing it down to, say, friendship -- then, uh... actually, now that I think about it...

I still don't know what my answer would be.

 

[Hana]

But if we're applying this to any kind of love, then I feel like the way I show my affection varies depending on what the actual relationship is. o_o

But, if we're narrowing it down to, say, friendship -- then, uh... actually, now that I think about it...

I still don't know what my answer would be.

It's okay not to know, since I was just concerned for a moment that you didn't understand the thread. ^^ You have friendships and you are a pleasant person to be around, so I think I can say that you can be a caring person! Even if you don't know what you do for others.

 

[Kagayours]

It's okay not to know, since I was just concerned for a moment that you didn't understand the thread. ^^

WELL, I MEAN, skimming over the responses so far, most seemed to interpret it as referring to romance, so I assumed that was the intention. Not that I really mind -- my original comment was more of a joke than anything else, hence why I said the hug rating wasn't necessary. :P

Thank you for your kind words, though.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

In all seriousness?

If we're speaking generally, I'm making offensive jokes at/about you.
I often make offensive jokes in general, everyone here has likely seen them, that's just part of how I roll. But those jokes are usually aimed at specific topics and made for the public to see, they're not about a specific person, nor are being made specifically for the individual in question.

So one way to tell I care about someone? Said Offensive jokes are either being directed at them, or actually involve them in the joke itself. It's basically my way of saying "I've deemed you to be fun, intelligent and mature enough to have a sense of humour, and be capable of taking a joke".

(Not to be confused with me speeding up the pace of offensive jokes because someone starting crying about it. In those cases I'm trolling, and they're still don't change focus towards anyone, they just get more rapid).

If we're talking romantically though? Like most of the commentors seem to have gone with?
Usually it's most of my trolling and laid back behaviour you'd see among friends, but on steroids. If in person I may use physical roughhousing a little more (though this isn't a guaranteed sign. Sometimes I won't. Sometimes I do it on people where's it's just become a running joke for whatever reason), and if in a relationship (well... We're in a relationship XD) it'd usually be a lot of Public Displays of Affection, or I'm just very touchy and physical in general.

 

[Flame]

If I feel romantically for you, my voice lightens up, gets a slightly higher tone. I don't even realize it. Other than that, I talk as normal as ever.

If you're my friend, I will constantly punch and insult you.

Pretty simple!

 

[Adaon ril'Morgerard]

Well, I can be rather ridiculous and amusing, if I put my mind to it. I am immensely formal to people I don't know. I only display my dry wit to them. No, when I have become confident that my 'mon chéri' won't laugh at me but with me, I will do skits, I will do terrible or not so terrible accents, I will make up ridiculous expletives and in general, I will invest time and effort into making mon chéri happy. Because I enjoy it when I can delight and make happy the people I care about. I can do this more effectively IRL than online but I do try my best!

More seriously, however, I criticise and never forgive. This isn't in a bad way. I simply don't care at all, in the slightest, about mon chéri's faults. I pay attention when the shortcoming is getting in the way. If it conveniences me, I can bear it. I inconvenience everyone with my faults all the time, I can ignore another's. But if it becomes serious and a source of unhappiness, I will tell mon chéri, "Mate, you need to fix this". And you are going to end up fixing it, mon chéri. I just hope that you'll get me to fix my own shortcomings.

*Mon chéri refers to generally anyone I have invested my time, effort and care into, AKA friends, family and loved ones.