I want to throw out there that the linework is really good and you have expressive stories examplified really well in a lot of your roleplay character art designs. I only skimmed the first and second page, but did you ever get around to trying the watercolor paints with the penwork?
Watercolor paper kills a lot of fine tip pens from my own experience. I think it has to do with me using a whipping effect to shade with the pens. But it is totally worth it.
Another idea is watercolorpencils. First you draw, then you pull a wet brush over the colored area. Or i just use watercolor pencils because they are vibrant and don't have a waxy dust or waxy shine to them.
Your linework is solid, taking on shading would bring it to the next level. If you need help or a short video example, let me know. I can make one for you no problem.