The Iwaku Mansion

my best guess is add wheels and put him on a track, then he will be a train

anyone see my wrench?
 
I think the monkey took it.

Where the hell did we get a monkey?
 
Yesterday, you drunkly ordered him off the dark web.

So, anyone seen my beard grooming kit?
 
Oh, I must have used it for spare parts for my Robot

….on a completely different note where is the toaster?
 
Last time I checked, a pesky plumber took it, leaving a note stating "All toasters toast toast"


Anyone know why we have an adorable ghost puppy?
 
That's mine. I bought a puppy for my werewolf... and he got jealous and drowned it. So now, we have a ghost dog.

Should I consider breaking up with my werewolf boyfriend?
 
Maybe.

Who let the sparkly hot vampire in?
 
I did. He's part fairy and good looking.

Should I maybe cut back on making poor life choices?
 
Maybe.

Why are the Jehovah's Witnesses taking a battering ram to the front door?
 
Because it's chained shut and we can't open it, remember?

Who put the chains on the door again?
 
I don't know. Someone by the name of Marley, I guess?

Why is the Grim Reaper here?
 
I think he came for your soul, but I convinced him otherwise. He said he would stay to observe you for the next three days.

How many days as he been here?
 
He came with the house.

So, how long is my beard now?
 
I think it reached the floor.

Who's the drunk guy shouting about politics?
 
That's Larry. He's an idiot.

So, anyone seen a pair of beard trimming scissors around here?
 
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