S
Sarzu
Guest
In the life of a Crazy Coot of a Jedi,
Featuring:
A timelord,
Guacamole
and Harold, as the Sock Puppet!
Featuring:
A timelord,
Guacamole
and Harold, as the Sock Puppet!
"Pure sabacc!"
"Idiots array, better luck next time." With a grin the female kiffar swept her hand at the chips and shoved them her way while the other three card players groaned. "So another hand?"
"Have you marked these cards or something, you keep winning?" A male with a large scar across his eye said as he looked suspiciously as she started shuffling and dealing the cards again.
"Would I do that?" She asked innocently and snickered as all three replied at the sime time with a loud. 'Yes!'
"We've been on this rock a while now, I mean not that putting a fight to the clankers is a bad thing... and the whole heroic liberating a world thing but we are meant to get off this world at some point? Thrall was coming back, right?" A third younger looking Kiffar said, he'd seem to be in his late teens but time fighting a guerrilla war had matured him from the look in his eyes.
"Eh the old man never abandons us, neither will Thrall. He'll come you'll see and when he does he will bring-" The alarm cut off any other conversation as the four kiffar cursed and sprang out of their seats knocking over their makeshift table spilling its contents over the floor as they ran to the sensor equipment. "What do we got!?"
"Incoming ship, grid 18 by 5. It's just one ship."
"Clanker scout?"
"I... no it's using the backdoor in the weather control station... and it's headed to one of the designated spots the old man gave us that Thrall knows about."
"Well I'll be... someone wake up the old man and get a speeder out there to pick up whoever it is... if it's Thrall, lets hope he brought guacamole because we've been out of that for two months."
A hour later the Arrow-23 speeder came to a halt at the clearing in the forest that had been designated months ago by Tohkran and Thrall for a meeting point if it was required. The two kiffar at the controls looking out of the window with confused looks. "Say... is it me... or does that spaceship look like a giant blue box?"
His partner looked at him and then slowly reached for a flask and pocketed it. "Ok, you are off the moonshine, that ship is nothing like a blue box, it looks old though. Maybe a smuggler." He turned on the speakers. "Occupants of unknown vessel, reveal yourself and state your intent."
Londred appeared at the exit hatch of the ship and looked down at the speeder. "Pizza delivery for a Mr Beard Face." She replied with a smile.
A hatch popped open and the sober Kiffar stood up, looking at Londred, "Huh, you know the password, guess Thrall did send you." He scratched his cheek, "Right the old man, beard face, would like to see you I suppose. If you can fly low you can park your ship at the base or I can take you to him in the speeder."
"Fly low? Do I look like an honest trader to you?" Londred said with an indignant tone and her hands on her hips... and a hint of a grin at the corners of her mouth.
"Ma'am, if I were still with the guardians back home I'd have arrested you on sight just to be sure." He climbed out of the cockpit walked over and threw up a data crystal. "Contains the location of the base, will delete all data and coordinates of it once you arrive there. Security reasons, you understand. Since you'll probably get there before we do, just say the password to the sentries and they know you are more than ok. Oh, do you also have guacamole?"
Londred tilted her head for a moment in thought, tapping the crytal against her chin as she did so. she then turned back into the ship and shouted "Piper, we have any guacamole!" Silence reigned for a about 60 seconds before another young female voice called back. "Hell if I know. You can look in the fridge if you want to try and find some, I'm not going in there again this week."
The kiffar looked crestfallen. "Maybe some curry then? Hell anything better than proteine bars will do."
"I'm sure we have something you you feel like braving the fridge." Londred answered with a shrug. "See you back at the base then." She then said as she went back into the ship and the hatch closed.
A few moments later it opened again and londred stuck her head out. "I could give you boys a lift."
"Eh? You can? Sure I guess." He shrugged, "Don't really see any room for you to take the speeder aboard though."
"Oh ye of little faith." She answered with a smile as she closed the hatch again, as it was closing the two kiffar would hear a partial sentence. "Piper, deploy the tract..." A few moments passed and a hatch on the underside of the ship opened up and a large squarish looking barrel mounted on a turret emerged before pointing towards the speeder. it occured to the kiffar still standing between the two vehicles that getting back in the speeder was both the best idea and possibly a terrible one as a sort of wheezing, groaning noise started coming from the ships engines.
As the lone kiffar who had gotten out hurried back inside, sitting beside his passed out comrade, he realized that only Thrall would send a crazy person like that to them. "better warn ahead not to open fire, somehow I figure that would annoy this woman..."
The ship lifted off and captured the speeder in a tractor beam, pulling them relatively close to the lower hullas the ship rotated to the coordinates in the crystal. Accelereation was suprisingly slow, possibly due to the speeder and more imprtantly its occupants being unlikely to survive a hard burn, but also becuase londred didn't particularly want to alert, quite obviously, to anyone watching the area with sensors that she was there. by the time they reached the base however several tree branches were poking out of the speeders engines and the fore windshield was cracked.
As soon as they 'landed' the hatch of the speeder opened and out came a kiffar, hurling up the contents of his stomach violently, a voice from behind him in the speeder speaking up. "You are definitely off the moonshine..."
A small crowd of Kiffar, Barabel and a lone Trianii were looking on as a Kiffar squad leader stepped forwards, looking at the speeder. "Well, it isn't as if we are low on supplies and parts or anything fighting a guerrilla war and that every combat capable vehicle counts...." He said dryly.
It took Londred a few moments more to set down, the engines making their odd wheezing, groaning noise again before a thud was heard and the engines went silent. A few moments later the hatch opened and Londred appeared in the doorway, she winced as she looked at the speeders condition. but otherwise did not appear fussed by it. in the crook of her arm was a small resealable container which che cradled as she climbed down the ladder for her ship and approached the kiffar squad leader. "They did tell me to fly low." She said with a light shrug before she held out the container as a sort of peace offering. "They also said you were out of guacamole, took me a little while to find it."
The squad looked at the contain and with trembling hands reached for it and opened it to verify its contents, when he did he closed the lid and turned around, holding it above his head as he did so. "MY FRIENDS! WE HAVE GUACAMOLE! WE FEAST TONIGHT!"
And there was much rejoice.
After most of the cheering had come down and the container was passed down to a Trianii crying openly in relief before he hurried off to the mess the Kiffar squad leader turned back. "So, Thrall send you?"
"Is that normal around here?" Piper said from the ships hatch. "Becuase that is downright odd in most places."
Londred laughed at the commend and replied to the squad leader. "Don't mind her, she has a habit of speaking without engaging the manners she's been taught." She then turned to Piper and gestured for the girl to get down and to join her before turning back to the kiffar. "Thrall did in fact contract me to stop by. He has a message for Master Tohkran concerning the upcoming liberation effort he has been putting together in the Jedi's absence."
"I see." He glanced at the young woman with rather wild hair. "Around here, any diversion from the battles we fought and will fight in the near future is welcome. Keeps us sane." He paused, "Well most of us." He turned around and gestured, "Please follow me, major Londo Moxla." The kiffar added as they began to walk, as if introducing himself hadn't occurred to him. "I will show you to the old man, or beard face. Have you met him before?"
"Many years ago now, he was just a kid actually." Londred replied with a coyish smile. as the two women followed the Kiffar
The major paused and turned to regard Londred for a moment with a frown, "I see... interesting. Well I..." They reached a door and he scratched his beard. "I don't know if I should say 'expect him to be a different man' or maybe you've known him to be like this all along." He shrugged and knocked, a voice answered after a moment of waiting.
"Yes?"
"Tohkran, the occupants of that ship we detected have arrived, apparently one of them is a old friend of yours, may they enter?" There was silence but then a hint of a muffled voice, which sounded like it was having a one-way conversation.
"Yes they may."
The major sighed and opened the door, gesturing them in. "I will be waiting outside."
Inside appeared to be spartanly furnished, a simple bed on one end and a desk with a chair on the other, the chair turning around as its occupant looked at his guests. "Welcome, in name of myself and my good friend Harold I welcome you to my sky palace in the land of rainbows and unicorns. Harold say hello." He revealed his hand, covered by a sock which had two buttons and some different coloured stitches sown onto it making it appear to have a face as he began moving his hand as if it could speak. "Who are you, state your business before the emperor of marshmellows!"
"I brought a banana." Londred said as she held out the yellow fruit.
Tohkran looked at the fruit then made his head turn and his hand so it would seem he and the sock puppet locked stares for a moment and then he laughed, peeling the sock puppet off and tossed it on the desk as he stood up and approached Londred, his cybernetic leg making him walk stiffly as he embraced her. "It is good to see you, sorry about that. I could not resist, I actually thought you were Thrall and had prepared that scene for him. A shame, I'd have loved to see his reaction to it." He pulled back and looked her over, blinking. "Huh, you really do not seem to have aged a day. I mean that is your choice of course, but still surprising."
Pipers jaw practically hit the floor at Tohkrans comment. "H.. He knows?"
"Of course, you're not unique in that knowledge Piper." Londred replied to the girl before turning back to Tohkran. "You on the other hand look like you have a foot in the grave by comparison. Is this what happens when noone is around to look after you then?"
He laughed again, "So it would seem." He tapped his leg with his can, the metal being heard clearly. "Lost this on Cathar due to a oversized bug. And the rest, well age somewhat and maybe being fighting a rather gruelling series of battles on this world." He then looked Londreds friend, "And I see you have a new... companion I believe you called them?" He extended a hand, "Tohkran, jedi master. Forgive my rather... crazy introduction earlier but I have a odd sense of humour, if you have met Thrall, blame him he influenced me."
"I wouldn't entirely blame Thrall, you were always a little off as I recall, its what made you fun to be with." Londred replied as she pealed the Banana. "You should try out doing Thralls antics, the results really are fun." she added taking a long bite of the Banana.
Chuckling he gestured to the bed as he moved back to the chair and sat down, "My apologies for a lack of chairs, but must make do with what we have. As for me out doing Thrall... and deny him the satisfaction of making me grumble at his antics? Ah well I shall give it some thought." He picked up 'Harold' and threw him into a nearby basked, which had other sock puppets in it. "So I must admit while it is nice to see you again, I never expected you to come by, how come?"
"Funny story, I hadn't expected to hear from you either. So imagine my suprise when out of the blue I get a call about a job offer with your old contact signature." She answered as she perched on the desk and Piper went to the basket of sock puppets, curious about the number of them for some reason. "Of course it was Thrall calling I discovered when I showed up at the coordinates. your Hutt friend wanted someone out of Kessel, apprently whatever information your contact file on me has convinced thrall i might be able to help."
Tohkran rose his eyebrows, "Thrall took on a job to spring someone from Kessel... from Hoddo? Huh... I would believe it more if someone told me Thrall used the opportunity of my absence to kill Hoddo by bombing his palace from orbit. Wonders do happen." Meanwhile Piper would find out there were about a dozen sock puppets and she could swear some of them glared at her. Tohkran was i nthought for a moment, "Well knowing you the job was a resounding success with your usual flair and everything. Curious though, I assume this kessel job was somewhat recent and here you are, asked by Thrall again to contact me? As I recall you hardly sticked around in or near the same spot twice in such a short timeframe."
"About a month ago maybe, I did the job and went on my way again. After Thrall offered me a more perminent position on your behalf." Londred said with a grin. "After that i got a call about another little smuggling job, this one. asked me to bring you word that he's been working on an invasion plan to liberate your beardyness. His words, not mine."
Tohkran let out a amused snort, "Yep you've met him, that's for sure. BUt that is excellent news, we've all split up into various camps and bases, to evade getting al lcaught out in the open. But if a liberation is coming we might have to change tactics." He mused and then blinked, looking very confused. "Wait, Thrall offered you a permanent position? And you accepted? You?"
"Course I didn't. As you said, I never did stick around one place for too long a time. I told him the offer would need to come from you." She answered. "Also, Thrall doesn't know."
Tohkran merely rose a eyebrow, "Still secretive about that, ah well." He stood up abruptly and stretched a little, "Hmmn, shall we go for a walk, it has been a while since anyone new came by. If you'd like you can stay for dinner, both of you, I heard the kitchens are in a uproar because you brought guacamole, preparing a feast from what I gathered in response of that." He then paused again, "And the offer has to come from me? That might imply you have a certain degree of interest in accepting. Or at least that is what it sounds like to me."
"As I said, you were fun to be with. Besides you already know my secret and don't make any sort of fuss about it." Londred replied as she offered her hand for Tohkran to 'escort her'.
He made a crook of his arm upon taking her hand and escorted her out, pausing to look at the major on guard. "Ah Londo, vizier Harold demands a bath, take him and the others to the laundry and bathe them in our most exquisite fragrances!"
The major rolled his eyes and went inside to retrieve the laundry basked, looking oddly at Piper who was studying its contents.
Outside Tohkran was doing his best to contain his amusement, shaking his head as he regarded Londred. "Ah, why would I make a fuss about it? It never occurred to me I should have." He said as they began walking, hearing the major curse behind them as he walked off with the basket. "Remind me to tell the chefs to prepare something special for the good major, I do believe my teasing of him is wearing him down somewhat. Speaking of fun, do tell me how that thing went with Kessel, as you can imagine word form beyond this place, world and system is hard to come by."
"Kessel was rather fun actually. Your Hutt, Hoddor was it? Anyway he wanted someone he knew out of the mines there, so Thrall contacted me and offered to pay if I could get him down there and break the guy out." Londred replied to the question. "He seemed to be of the opinion that i did that sort of thing all the time for some reason, you know it was even my first trip to kessel, never did acquire a taste for running spice in my time. Thrall seemed worried when I told him that while we were navigating past the minefield thats been set up around kessel recently." she added with a grin.
"Ah I do recall hearing about Kessel being under new ownership... who apparently places minefields around there? Someone is taking prisoner security a bit too serious." He shook his head and then chuckled again, "Even so, you haven't told me everything. Thrall offering a job to you must mean you did the task rather well, better than he expected at least." He traced through his beard as they entered the mess hall in which a large gathering was looking in on the kitchens at whatever the cooks were preparing while Tohkran took a seat, cursing softly as he slapped his leg. "Piece of jawa junk, best grade cybernetics he said. Poodoo. Hmpf." He blinked and chuckled, "Sorry, the leg gives me issues now and again."
"Well? Come now, have you ever known me to do less than spectacularly?" Londred replied with feinted hurt. "Thrall went looking for a bounty hunter the Hutt had mentioned was there and on the payroll. I told him to make a distraction 'so that I could get the prisoner out during the chaos'. Didn't have the heart to tell him to just sit tight and wait, poor thing would have shed all over my ship. So I distracted him from his worries instead."
Tohkran laughed at the mental image, snickering briefly before his face fell somewhat and he seemed concerned for a moment. "Is Thrall... doing fine? I admit to feeling, guilty, at times. Basically abandoning him and everyone else and putting him in charge without preparing him. With what you just said, how is he holding up?"
"Stress eating has become a habit I think. I told him he'd be the size of a hutt if he kept it up when he asked me to come down here." Londred answered "He really is quite the easy mark actually, aided by the fact that he seems to be somewhat infatuated with me." She added without the usual cheer she put on, it only faded for a moment however before she resumed with the story of kessel. "As I was saying though, while thrall was being distracted by distractions, I was infiltrating the prison, which as you know is something of a natural talent for me. I foud the wardens office and swiped a lovely old vintage liquor in the process. took about 30 minutes all up to get in find the prisoner ad the booze then get out again without tripping any alarms. Contacted Thrall when I got back to the ship and wouldn't you know it, he hadn't even arranged for my distraction yet."
He was just taking a sip from a glass of water someone was kind enough to give him as they settled down. Which he coughed and spluttered out. Still coughing and heaving as he got his breath back, "Wait, wait... go back to the bit that he is infatuated with you. Thrall, infatuated with anyone. How... why..." He blinked rapidly.
"I'm honestly not really sure, Maybe he has my manner confused with flirting. He wouldn't be the first." Londred replied with a sigh. "I mean Im all for abit of fun here and there but as you know, I don't hang around people for long unless I trust them enough to let them know the real me."
"So I know," he chuckled, "I do have a urge to tease him when we see each other again with this knowledge now that I have heard it." He smiled and chuckled, "Well the way I earned your trust was rather... unique. Seeing as you were just a job at the time, getting you out of a prison on charges of public indecency, jaywalking, destruction of government property and threatening a Kiffar Guardian General with a screwdriver? You still haven't told me that story... or how you got a Hutt of all beings as your companion for a time who asked me to spring you out of there." He looked thoughtful for a second. "I actually never considered asking you to stay on before, because you semed to be such a free, wandering soul. But if you are actually interested, yes I could use you on my team." He chuckled and glanced at Piper, "And your current companion of course." He blinked and studied Piper more closely. "Say... that deck of cards in your vest pocket, are those Maracks?"
"Big guy isn't as observant as he likes to think." Piper replied with a shrug. "Besides he left with my sarong."
Tohkran shook his head, amused and looked back at Londred. "Well glad to hear that Marack is still having fun playing cards at least."
"I noticed that you don't seem to have anyone with my skillset. Thrall wouldn't have needed to call me in if you did." She replied, deliberately avoiding a direct answer. "And for the record younger Hutts can be fun too... until they start following their parents and get fat and cant move to save thier lives at least."
He nods, "I respect Hoddo to a degree and even might see him as a friend. As long as he does not pursue some of the more... extreme sources of income his kind likes to profit from. Then we have no problems," He shrugged, "And yes I do lack someone of your skillset I suppose, and you said to thrall the offer had to come from me?" He seemed to think for a moment and then shook his head, "Hmmn, yes I could see the benefits of having you sign on with my people and assist us more in the near future. But at the same time I would not want to tie you down, seeing as you do love to wander." He tapped his lips and shrugged again, "Well I will not be asking you to sign up, what I would ask is if perhaps we can establish a more frequent line of communication. If we need the help of one with your skillset, and you are in the area and are interested. That we can contact you more easily, instead of relying on decades old communication means."
"You are one of the few people who do not need to ask." Londred replied. " How about we have a probationary period, where I reserve the option to leave if my 'wandering spirit' gets restless."
"That sounds agreeable... would you prefer if the, ah I do not like the words but for lack of better, 'chain of command' only goes through me to you, leaving Thrall out of it?" He paused, "at least for the time being, maybe this is just a crush he has and needs to flush it out."
"Under the circumstances that would likely be best." Londred replied.
He nods, "Well then. I will be looking forwards to this probationary period, your first mission. You'll be forced to listen to a 'old' man tell you a boring tale of how he and another jedi he met, ventured into a series of caves on the world of Cathar, facing off against oversized bugs that have a fondness for my legs." He smirked and as he began to tell, others joined in to listen as someone suddenly placed a large bowl of tortilla chips on the table with a smaller bowl of guacamole dip beside it.
And there was much rejoice with at the end a nodding sock puppet from the shadows who looked on and saw all was right.
TOHKRAN LIVES!
Morale rises as news about impending Liberation of Antar IV is delivered by Londred and Piper.
Crazy old Jedi takes up sock puppets as advisors.
Londred and Piper join forces (on a probationary period) with crazy jedi master.
Guacomole and Tortilla chips!
Rejoice!
More of this next time, next episode on 'Star Wars, Tales of Harold.'
Morale rises as news about impending Liberation of Antar IV is delivered by Londred and Piper.
Crazy old Jedi takes up sock puppets as advisors.
Londred and Piper join forces (on a probationary period) with crazy jedi master.
Guacomole and Tortilla chips!
Rejoice!
More of this next time, next episode on 'Star Wars, Tales of Harold.'