Sing for Absolution

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Matt rolled and hovered over her, singing right in her face. "So you think you can stop me and spit in my eyyyeeyeeeee??" he jumped up and began air guitaring, singing the guitar part. "So you think you can love me and leave me to DIIIIEEEEEEEE?!?!? Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhh baby. Can't do this to me baby. Just gotta get out- Just gotta get right out of here- Dahnananna nanana na na na na na DAH NAH NAH DAH NAH NAH DAN NAH NAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........."

For added emphasis, Matt did a knee slide, landing right near her face, finishing the song in his softly crooning voice again. "Nothing really matters.... anyone can seee.... nothing really matterssss.... nothing really matters.... to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~"
 
Forgetting how to breathe for the few short moments that he was right in front of her, Alyne was left staring after him once he jumped up.


She rolled a bit just to watch him, smiling. His air guitar was spot on, she decided with a soft laugh. It was the most playful she had ever seen him, and she enjoyed it rather well. He was definitely getting her mind off of everything. She completely forgot that he had even begged her to stay here with him.


As he stopped right next to her, she sat up, pausing when she realized that it had only brought her closer to him. Forcing the distracting thought away, she tipped her head and rested her weight on her palms behind her.


"You really do have a lovely voice. Are you taking requests? I want to hear an original piece," she said with a grin, mostly joking. She shifted and her hand brushed something smooth, making her look down. A liberty cap.
 
"I don't have a guitar with me..." he said simply, and left it at that.

"And you're not a murderer. You need to tell the police. There's no reason you'll get in trouble for that. We can back you up. So do the right thing. And don't hide."
 
"Logically, I do know that. Running makes it worse and in a way it was self-defense. I've been talking to myself about it all day and I know that they can't really do anything like throw me in jail but.." she began, then stopped and shook her head, looking down with a sigh.


"I was just worried. The last time I saw cops up here was because my parents were.. Nevermind. I'll go to the cops now."
 
"Don't make excuses. Just do it. Don't think about it. Just do it. And think about it later if you must." His answer was straight forward, and sometimes he marveled at how straightforward he was capable of being, when inside his head his thoughts were anything but. He supposed it wasn't really the path that things took, just the end result, right? It was just that the path things took in his head was so much more difficult than it should be. But he'd taken many difficult paths in his life and he decided he'd gotten a lot further than the people who'd taken the easy and straight paths, and thought about where he'd be if he'd taken them as well. So maybe that translated to the way his head worked too... Maybe...

Stop thinking, brain, stop. You'll hurt yourself.

"So that's that, then. Okay? You have a problem, right? And there's a solution to the problem, yeah? So don't worry about it."
 
"You are the strangest boy I've ever met, Matt," Alyne said simply, then glanced up at the stars. It was late - too late to go and see if a cop was still roaming around the village. They'd be gone by now. The morning would be soon enough.


"I'll tell them tomorrow," she said, then plucked up a cap and held it out to him.


"Do you want to touch the stars with me again?"
 
Matt shook his head. "Not tonight. My mood's too dangerous for that tonight. You don't want to eat those if the mood's not right. It can end in a bad trip. And that's like a nightmare that you can't wake up from until that shit gets out of your system. So you have to be careful."
 
Alyne considered his words, glancing down at the mushroom in her hand as she pondered the idea. A nightmare you can't wake up from.. It still sounded better than reality.


The thought made her sick. What was she becoming, some sort of constantly-depressed idiot that had no spine? Disgusting. She threw the cap to the side and ran her hands through her hair quickly.


"Why did you want me to stay?" she asked, trying to distract herself so that she wouldn't spend the whole night beating herself up for being a moron.
 
Matt was quiet and didn't answer her question, but instead simply stared up at the sky.

This is me and I am me and I'm not him and I am me. Not him. Me. Carving my own path. Because this is my life. And he can disapprove all he wants, but he's the one who said 'there's no one I approve of and disapprove of more than myself.' And if i end up there, where he is, it's not cos i took his path, but cos i took my own. he's weak in his own ways. and i'm weak in mine. but i have strength in places he does not. and he has strength in places i do not. but it doesn't make me less of a person.
 
Not getting an answer, Alyne shifted and laid back down on the soft grass. She looked up at the stars, her thoughts drifting back to the day when the whole village decided that she was insane. It had been in the middle of the summer, she recalled. Oh, how they had screamed. It was amusing now, but it had been frightening then, to see how they all avoided her. After that she had taken to talking to herself and tended to see things oddly, but she had a feeling that was just the way she was.


She yawned softly and rubbed her eyes, shaking her head a little as she watched the sky. No sleeping. She had to stay up and talk to Matt and get to know him better.


Why?


There was no point.


Oh, sleep sounded so good..
 
After some time, Alyne's evened breathing told Matt that she was asleep. He continued to watch the stars slowly rotate across the sky, amazed at how completely filled the sky was with stars. Then, suddenly, with almost no warning, the sky lit up and ribbons of green light waved across it, blocking out most of the stars, but still putting on just as spectacular of a show. It caught Matt's breath. He'd seen this once before, the time in the Faroes but he couldn't see it enough. If only one could recreate such an amazing effect for a show...

He'd have to ask Tom if that were possible.

The truth was, only nature could create a more spectacular light show than his concerts but Matt always wanted something bigger.

Play among that spectacular light show. And force people to look at it. To really see it. There were so many people who had no idea the beauty of nature. The amazing vastness and possibilities of space...

Imagine being high and seeing this...

He was so tempted to pluck one of the liberty caps from the ground and eat it. Maybe his mood was better now. His focus had come off Dom and was now on the spectacular show in front of him. He reasoned as long as his focus stayed there that it would be okay...

He decided against it.

That was an impressively mature decision, Matthew...

What are you doing, growing up?

Stop that.
 
Alyne woke up after only sleeping about an hour. Realizing that she had dozed off, she simply gazed up at the stars with a soft smile on her face, forgetting that Matt was next to her.


"Sing, sing my darling child.. Let your voice rise.. Sing, sing my darling child.. Lift your voice to the skies.." she sang softly, watching the moon.


"Sing for the moon who lost her love, the man who we know as the sun.. Sing, sing as loud as you can.. Rise up to lift her on high.."


Pausing in her song, Alyne sighed. Her mother used to sing that to her. It was a beautiful ballad about how the moon so loved the sun that she chased him every single day. Closing her eyes, she tried to picture what it would be like to experience such a strong love.
 
Matt was glad that he had decided not to take the mushroom. As was bound to happen, his thoughts had come full circle and back to what had brought him up to the mountain in the first place. The tightness in his chest returned and there was an irritating burning behind his eyes. He had enough trouble with these feelings running him around in circles without having to add a drug that wouldn't let him escape it. Or to "enrich it" in the same way that good things were so enriched. He did not need an intensified experience of this...this... whatever this was.

And then Alyne was singing. A song about the moon loving the sun and Jesus Christ that was the worst possible song-

"Stop singing," Matt said, the lump in his throat making his words come out harsher than he'd meant them to.
 
Since she hadn't planned on continuing anyway, Alyne wasn't irritated by Matt's command, but she was a little surprised by it. She rolled onto her belly and gazed at him, having forgotten he was even there.


"Are you okay?" she asked quietly, not really sure why she asked. He seemed fine, didn't he?


God he was confusing..


It was probably around three in the morning but she knew that there was no point in staying up here. The only time that she and Matt seemed to connect or even get along was when they were high or back when they first met. She just wasn't capable of making social connections.


"Try to get some sleep," she suggested as she rose to her knees and pulled her bag over to her.
 
Yes, sleep would probably help his thoughts straighten out a bit. But he knew if he went to sleep he would find himself in the white room, and he wasn't planning on going there tonight.

"I'm not going to sleep," he said shortly. "You missed the aurora."
 
"I did?" she asked, glancing up at the sky instinctively before shrugging.


"That's alright. They happen quite often around here. This is the best spot to see them, of course. There will probably be another one in a week or so, give or take," she explained. She never tired of seeing them, though, no matter how many she had seen. Maybe next time - oh, no, wait. She wasn't going to be here next time. Pity.


"And you really should sleep," she added as she stood up.
 
"No," he said stubbornly, folding his arms across his chest and glaring up at the sky.
 
"Big baby," she muttered, flinging a piece of grass at him harmlessly as she brushed herself off and trudged toward the path.
 
"Baby's sleep," Matt pointed out, then tipped his head back to look at her. "Where are you going?"
 
Alyne paused in her steps and turned back to look at him. What was she supposed to say? Sorry, Matt, but we don't really get along and I have no idea how to talk to you because I'm insane and the voices in my head make more sense than you do? Maybe she should throw in the fact that she's never had a conversation longer than five sentences with anybody other than family members - only Andrick since her parents died.


"I don't know."
 
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