Sailing the Seas of Cheese: The Pirates of Lake Ontario

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Seychelle blinked, noting only a couple had agreed to her offer of bikini wear. She shrugged, thinking it would definitely up the anti against any enemy pirates, I mean come on; who would want to try and kill a bunch of sexy girls in bikinis? She mused in her mind for a moment, tempting the thoughts of life on high seas. Distracted by her imagination, Sey snapped back to reality, there was something she needed to do! Looking around, she had seen Katie and Captain wander off to adorn the girl in a shark outfit and she watched them, waiting for her task to begin.

After a few minutes of Katie looking rather annoyed at the fin attached to her head, she noticed the 180 degree turn-around in the other girls' mind. Following her line of vision she met an image of an old guy. Mind you, he was an attractive old guy, but he had proven to be a problem when Katie soon forgot her mission and wandered over to him with googly eyes.

"Uh oh..."

Sey wandered over, putting on fake grin and wandering over to the girl, wrapping an arm around her and laughing, "I'm sorry sir, she must have gotten away from me." she said, attempting to appear as her sister.

Her voice hushed as she leaned closer to Katie, whispering "What are you doing? Captain said for you to scare people, not flirt with old men!"

 
"DAMN YOU PATRICK STEWART!"

Unbelievable! First he mocks Jack with his superior seamanship, and now he uses Jedi mind tricks to try and steal his first mate? Didn't that Patrick Stewart lookalike realize mixing Star Wars and Star Trek was a social faux pas? Jack was mad, and not because of the mixing of geek references. He was being made a fool of, and he needed to show the world that that sort of thing would not stand. And he still needed a boat. That didn't really affect his plans at all, other than pushing them up a bit. He turned to face his crew, his unbridled terror of speaking with women currently being sat on by the emotional bully known only as his hatred for all things sexier and manlier than himself.

"Sexy, scantily clad ladies of my crew, I need you all to go on a rescue mission! Katie is being seduced by that Patrick Stewart impersonator! We can't have these sorts of shenanigans going on if we are to become real pirates! This hurts our chances at legitimacy! There's a lot at stake. Now go distract him some how...use your feminine wiles if you must, just make sure you save Katie!"

There was one thing he hadn't told them, and that was the part that he was going to play once the intricate distraction plan was in place. He smirked. If the lookalike wasn't scared off by the Jaws costume, which was more effective in the water, then Jack's getup would surely scare him. Jack sure as hell knew it terrified himself when he look at it in the mirror. He waited for his crew to get in to place, ready to spring in to action.
 
Upon the waters surface floated an odd sight. There was what appeared to be a chiles sandbox, the big green round kind shaped like a turtle, floating towards the shore. The lid was shut but it sat askew in its place. There was what looked like a canvass drop cloth draped over it as well. The decrepit old thing slapped against the dock and eventually washed ashore. It was easily within noticeable reach of the rag tag band of pirates. An odd sound of deep breathing echoed within the pod and two oars stuck out on either side. The ride rose slightly allowing the passenger to peer out without reveiling his entire body.

He spied upon the group, sizing them up. A few girls in skantly covering bikinis, probably tourists. Some rich-looking fellow who resembled a certain celebrity. There was also another guy, hollering wildly and giving orders. Although none of them looked dangerous, he had to be aware that at least one of these people had the ability to control the shark that stood amongst them.
"Damn! How did they coax that shark upon the land!? They must have somehow accessed my secret research! Damn them! Damn them all"
At the last line, he shouted as he rose from his turtle-pod triumphantly. He screamed a battle cry and ran at the group, aiming for the girl with the fin. "How did they win you over? Was it money! It was MONEY WASN'T IT!?" He pulled off a small children's fishing rod from his belt loop. The sad old thing looked like it had been dug up from the lake bed. Tied to the end of the tangled string was a soggy old dollar that he dangled in her face.
"Speak, vile monster of the deep! Tell me your secrets!"
 
[DASH=#00E5EE]Damned Seychelle, pulling her away from Patrick Stewart! Katie struggled and squirmed away from Seychelle's grip. "Can't you see who this is?!" she hissed. "Only the greatest captain of all time!" Unbeknownst to her, however, the Patrick Stewart lookalike had taken the opportunity of Seychelle's intrusion to jump back onto his boat, safely away from Katie for a short time. She saw his retreating back on the ship. "Seychelle, look at that! I was getting to him, and you interrupted me!" Katie fell to her knees on the beach, the shark fin falling off her head and hanging from her neck. "WHYYY! I meet the dreamiest captain alive and he's gone!"

Katie didn't have time to mourn, however, as she was practically knocked over by a man from the deep knock her over. "You - who - WHO ARE YOU!" she shouted, rattled. She caught something about "money" and instinctively checked her secret pocket to make sure the money Jack gave her hadn't fallen out or anything. It was safe. She was safe. She stood up abruptly and adjusted the shark fin to sit back on her head.

Peering at the person yelling at her, Katie got very serious for a moment. "I've been dumped from my beloved, hard-won oversized canoe, and then it sunk with a cask of weapons in it, then I was asked to put on a bikini of all things before having a man who looks like Patrick Stewart run away from me. This is not a day to mess with me. I'm Hackin' Liza Dagger. Where did you come from, and would you like to join our crew?"[/DASH]
 
He continued accosting her with his tantilizing dollar bill, waving it in her face as she talked. She rambled on and on about the most useless things. The mans eyes twitched rather violently. "Rrrr! Join you!? What the hell wou -" he stopped mid sentence, grumbling in his throat. "So, you say there's a whole boat down there..? And weapons too..."

He stopped to consider some things. "And why should i believe something so insane!?" He stood upright and pointed at his turtle box. "This is the mightiest treasure hunting vessel in the world! Do you expect me to just dive in there after some hearsay!?" It was evident that he had decided that he would very much like to see this boat. "Tell you what... I'll get your boat, and your weapons. But under a few conditions." He struck a triumphant pose, hands curled in fists resting on his hips. His arms akimbo at his sides.
"I get first pick on loot! And if I the boat isnt there, you must relinquish the service of your shark minion unto me! Do you agree to these terms!?"
He was grinning wwildly with his brow creased in determination.
 

Seychelle blinked. It was all she could do. First she was saving Katie from an old guy, next some other guy was claiming Katie was some creature from the deep. Her long hair danced in the breeze for a moment as she processed what exactly this guy wanted. Money. Boat. Weapons.

Sighing, she placed a hand on her forehead and groaned. One thing after another huh? And where was their Captain?!

Being much taller than the person yelling at Katie, she innocently thought he was a child, "Hey, kid? Wanna go play somewhere else please? Adults are trying to capture a new boat so we can continue our plans~" she said softly as she smiled at him, shooing him away as she tried to walk Katie off to continue their task. The taller woman looked around, trying to find another way to get the boat and be on their marry way.

"Unless..." she mused, looking down at him once again, "How would you like to earn a few extra dollars little guy?" she asked, a mischievous grin appearing on her face and a plan brewing in her mind. She could make use of this kid, all while furthering their plan to rule the world!