-steps on soap box-
To a certain degree I agree with respect is earned not given. I mainly hold true to that when it comes to people my own age or immediately around my age. Everyone starts out with a certain amount of respect from me. This level can vary dependent on many things over time.
Going along with the definitions that Jorick laid out, different people I know get broken up to the different definitions. There are some people I respect because of their achievements, because of what they have accomplished, because of their experiences, and because of the qualities I see that are admirable. Does this mean I agree with their opinions? No. And they don't have to agree with mine. Do I have to approve of their behavior? I do not. Again, they don't have to approve of mine either. Does this negate them of my respect? It does not. Will my level of respect for them vary based on what I see? Yes, probably. But saying, "no, I will not respect them because they behave X way" is petty to me. Because, I'm pretty sure you have acted the same ways at some point in time. I know I've seen the ways people acted that I didn't agree with, but I couldn't cast stones because I've done the exact same things. I think that's the whole "don't throw rocks in a glass house" thing. I'm not sure. This doesn't mean I'll let someone dictate my actions, they don't have that right. But, I will listen to their opinions, even if it comes like a demand, because there might be truth in what they have to say. I believe there is a little bit of truth in every piece of advice and opinion. It's up to me to filter out what I think applies and what doesn't.
Now, to respect someone's wishes, rights, feelings, and traditions. Sure! Yeah, I'm all for that. Have I perfectly done that? Not at all. Not even to people here on Iwaku. I can honestly say that through my time here there've been people I've purposely tried to step on. Generally, out of respect to people's feelings and stuff, I don't speak much about what I think or my opinions. I also try to keep my attitude in check and my thoughts filtered... not always achieved perfectly. Hey, human. But, if someone comes at me stepping on my feels I'm not just gonna lay down and take that. No one should, really. At that point, that's when respect drops a bit. It can also easily come back up depending on how the situation gets resolved.
For the final definition of not harming or interfering. In regards to people, to me, this sort of goes hand in hand with the rights and feelings. There are cases, though, where you have to interfere, but there is also a decorum to it. You don't just go in ripping through boundaries, all guns blazing, creating a trail of hurt feels, and forming a wall of defensiveness in another person. Then, there is respecting another person's things or the environment. Yeah, don't harm that stuff. Purposely doing so is a jerk move. But, again, I've purposely broken things because I saw someone else do it (in my kid years), because I was pissed at them, or I just lacked respect.
That huge wall of text is me giving my opinions on each definition. They may not be well worded, and I might talk in circles. You can call me out on a fallacy =P
Anywho, as for respecting the elderly, yes. I think respect should be given to them. They have gone through a hell of a lot more than I probably have. I'm pretty sure a lot of them have struggled so much more than I ever will. And they made it this far? I mean daaayyyuummm, if that isn't some strength. I hope I am half as strong as some of the elderly I've come across. This doesn't mean I'll like how they behave. In fact, they can act in some infuriating ways! They can definitely be pushy. This is where boundaries come into play. Setting boundaries, not just with the elderly, is a healthy thing! So, yeah, go ahead, draw a line in the sand of how you expect to be treated and stand guard over that line! Bop anyone on the nose who tries to pass it. But do it in a respectful way even if they don't. Something about the higher road, yadda yadda. They might be older, but that doesn't mean they'll behave that way. The same can be said for everyone, really.
FOR EXAMPLE. I'm about to get personal up in here. So, 'scuse me if I sound flustered. Emotions and what not.
My gramps. He worked in coal mines to make a name for himself, to create a life for his wife, and his kids. That's dangerous and hard work! He fought in World War 2. Props! He struggled with PTSD, with Bipolar, with COPD. All this in a time when he didn't have things available like we do. He just sucked it up and did what he needed to do without wallowing. Gramps was a far from perfect man, though. He is known for the abusive relationship he had with his oldest daughter. He is known for becoming a stickler over money, not helping his family when they needed, and if he did help them it came with insults about them being incapable of handling things responsibly. I don't agree with those actions, but I still respected him. My aunts and mom kept their boundaries up and told him the ways he was behaving, they even rehashed the past because they needed to. THAT is healthy relating. Whether or not they agree with his behavior, they respected him enough to bring him up short when they needed to. They respected him enough to keep their boundaries. His health declined, rather severely. It hurt his pride that he couldn't take care of himself, that he couldn't control himself. So, he shot himself. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was fucking heated. It also hurt like the dickens. I definitely strongly disagreed with his actions. But, in the grand scope of things, I still respected him.
Thank you for reading <333
-steps off soap box-
