Respect Your Elders

[SacredWarrior]

What is everyone's thoughts on this saying that older people like to throw around? While I do understand that elders should be respected out of plain old common sense, it should be EARNED not given. Elders aren't entitled to respect anymore than anyone else. I find it funny how they complain about our generation but yet fail to realize that most of the problems come from them in the first place.

 

[Greenie]

I try to respect everyone, regardless of their age.

I will respect my parents, naturally, since they've done more for me than I can ever give back. With others, it's common sense, I'll start with respect, and if it's not given back, I ignore. I don't like conflict, and I can't articulate myself properly, so yep, best I just stay far away.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

I used to be able to respect the elderly without giving it much thought. Then the 2016 election hit and I ran into some of the most assholish elderly people I've ever encountered in my life. I'm not talking Grouchy Old Men assholish, I mean like teenage boy on Xbox assholish. I had one of them call me the c-word during a discussion. (I'm surprised my husband didn't slap him for it.)


I've kind of edited my thoughts on respect and who does and does not deserve it. I'm respectful until a person shows they don't deserve it, or they act like they're entitled to it. Just because someone is older, doesn't necessarily mean they've done anything to deserve respect, and if they're acting like an entitled jerk about things, they automatically disqualify themselves. Fortunately, I live in an area where people are respectful regardless of age. However, outside my hometown, I've adapted a 'Treat them like they treat me' policy. I don't go out of my way to be disrespectful, but I'm damn sure not going to let someone treat me that way and give them respect. It might seem petty, but there are too many assholes in this world and I've about had my limit of them.

 

[SacredWarrior]

I had one of them call me the c-word during a discussion. (I'm surprised my husband didn't slap him for it.)

He should've O_O Most men I know would've did that instantly.

Overall I pretty much agree with you.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Funny enough, anyone who sincerely pushes the "Respect your Elders" argument is making a Logical Fallacy. Where you're being told to respect someone not due to them being human, or their experiences, their knowledge, their personality etc. But due to an artificial sense of superiority via age.

Personally I try to be respectful of everyone, elders or not, but my respect is never due to artificial reasons such as "They belong in X demographic".

That being said, for me respect =/= walking on egg shells. I still share political opinions, make dark humour jokes etc all the same. I respect people enough to give them benefit of the doubt they have the mental maturity to not be easily offended, or at the very least, the maturity to train themselves into have thicker skin.

 

[Shiri]

I like to treat everyone with a moderate level of respect until they make me feel threatened in some way. The elderly fall under this as well. Age doesn't really factor in. If someone were to order me to respect them, I could not find it in my heart to do it. It would cause the opposite to happen.

I don't think I've had anyone tell me that particular phrase in person. The old people I run into just tend to ask things nicely, or tell me I need Jesus, or are mumbling odd statements about how things were back in their day. The usual. xD

 

[Ravenfrost]

When we are children, I think it's best to respect/honor our caretakers (assuming they are not monsters of negligence, abusive, idiots, etc.)--those older people who try to teach us how to interact with the world. The time that they tell us not to put our hand on the stove when it's hot…try to respect that advice. Try to respect that they gave up their dream vacation to take us to some place they thought we would enjoy or benefit from (even if you had a lousy time).

However, if respect is defined as letting someone older than me tell me how to live my life (once I am mature enough to make independent choices), well – of course not. No one gets the kind of respect from me.

A writer once defined honor (in part) as "respect of the kind which places an individual socially and determines his right to precedence." That was written around 1775 or so.

What may seem like respect from me towards an elder is usually just compassion. If someone stumbles in front of me and drops their packages, it doesn't matter what age they are, I will help them.

As an adult, I can't agree that age determines anyone's "right" to be placed first and held high. I honor and respect people at any age for valid achievements and admired qualities.

I cannot respect or honor someone for their age alone, nor for their looks or their youth or inherited wealth or anything not earned. There are evil people at 80 as surely as there are good ones. Just because someone was a teacher for 30 years doesn't mean they were a good one. (Don't give me the numbers, give me the facts.)

But I do try to be gentler and kinder (moreso than your everyday Evil Ravenfrost) with those in need, and elderly people often meet this criteria; especially those that are frail and alone in their old age.

 

[Nebulon Ranger]

I've long been an advocate of the idea that respect is not a one-way street, so any demands to "respect my elders" without proof they deserve it first will be met with a likely assish response.

Generally these "respect your elders"-type old people usually mean "defer to my wishes because I'm an aged old codger so that somehow makes me more of a person than you". Save me the lectures, the entirely fabricated 7-miles-to-school spiels and the "kids these days are so out of line!" / "kids these days are soft, back in my day..." nonsense. I'm not going to defer to you just because you're older than me. I might respect you if you prove you're a good person, but it will not just be given. I'm my own man, and will live my life as I choose.

 

[Rosedrachen]

I am 31 and I own a roleplay minecraft server. That mean, I am around mostly 12-18 years old players. Never at once I ask them to call me ma'am (I actually annoyed with that!) or respect my age. They can be a bit unruly too while I am the owner of the server but I just try to be patient instead playing the age card. After all, I want to keep feeling that I am 13. :P

We have one lady here in the office that considered as elder, I decides to not even call her with "ma'am" considering her attitudes do not reflect the respect she demands.

But eh, I am a social rebel.

 

[Kestrel]

I'm respectful until a person shows they don't deserve it

I like it when people type out my thoughts for me. It's very convenient.

Well, except that I'm also fairly rude/direct, depending on your interpretation ;x

 

[Jorick]

I've always hated "respect your elders" and other things that say you should respect people just because. There are a few meanings to the word 'respect' and I've noticed people using differing interpretations of the word as it suits their whims.

The main meaning is to deeply admire someone for their abilities, qualities, or achievements. This is the meaning that I get the sense of when a lot of people say to respect your elders, and that's not reasonable. This kind of respect is earned, and just. Not dying for many years is not a respect-worthy accomplishment.

Another meaning is to show due regard for someone's feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions. This one is more reasonable, but I don't bother doing it. I'll respect everyone's rights, but what I consider "due regard" for the other bits is I will respect them if worthy of respect and I will ignore or criticize them if not.

The last applicable definition means to avoid harming or interfering with something. I do this with all people unless I have some good reasons not to. This is a fine baseline for the whole "respect these people just because" lines, just don't hurt or fuck with people, but people always mean one of the above when they say such things. :/

 

[Mami Tomoe]

I tend to treat everyone with the same level of respect when first meeting them. However, how they treat me, and other people, tends to effect my level of respect for them as time goes on. If I see that they're good individuals worthy of respect, then I respect them more. If they act entitled/bigoted/etc, then I promptly stop respecting them, or lower how much respect I have for them.

Everyone starts out the same in my eyes, until they prove themselves to me. I've found that elders who bash on younger generations are one of my least favorite kinds of people. As Jorick said, not dying for a long time isn't really that much of an accomplishment, unless you're living in a war-torn nation.

 

[Peter Feels]

In typical fashion someone said how I feel already. I'm like Jorick on this.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I've noticed people using differing interpretations of the word as it suits their whims.

With these multiple definitions being brought up, I figured I should clarify what my own version of respect means.

The main meaning is to deeply admire someone for their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

This is not what I mean when I say "I try to respect everyone".
If I say "I hold a deep respect towards X" however then I do mean it in this way, cause then I'm bothering to specify a form of respect I hold towards a certain individual which isn't universal.

Another meaning is to show due regard for someone's feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions. This one is more reasonable, but I don't bother doing it. I'll respect everyone's rights, but what I consider "due regard" for the other bits is I will respect them if worthy of respect and I will ignore or criticize them if not.

Depends on how you classify "Someone's feelings".

Are we talking about not purposely provoking or aggravating an individual simply to be a douche? If so, then yes, I try to show this kind of respect universally. Though, this arguably falls under definition #3.

Or are we talking about "That offends me! Don't make those jokes/state those opinions!"? Because if so then no, I absolutely do not give this kind of respect. Partially because by letting people's sensitives control speech you are opening the door to much bigger problems down the road. But also because the sheer act of telling someone "You can't do ____ because *I* don't like it!" is in itself disrespectful, you are trying to dictate and control other people because you lack the self control to either deal with or remove yourself from certain circles, debates, jokes etc.

The last applicable definition means to avoid harming or interfering with something.

This here would be the form of respect that I aim to apply to people universally. There's really no sense, point or reason behind trying to harm an individual. It almost never has any positive result or outcome, and is usually done out of a form of spite or malice. If do you take exception to an individual and feel they deserve a total lack of respect, I advise you take the following sentence in mind:

"Go after the idea, not the individual".

 

[Legens Legentis]

As a grandson of a Korean War veteran (I've done the best I can to hold his legacy of fighting the Red Menace), I have tremendous amounts of respect for my elders. Their fragile health forces me to be extra careful in how I interact with them. That being said, I do try to be respectful towards everyone, but a lot of the advice given to me by old folk has been tremendously helpful and/or enlightening.

All the while I look down on fellow millennials a lot. And I mean a lot.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

He should've O_O Most men I know would've did that instantly.

Overall I pretty much agree with you.

Yeah, my husband wanted to, but I reminded him that our kids were watching, and I'm trying to break them out of the habit of smacking each other. Probably wouldn't have been helpful to have their father bitch slap the hell out of some 80 year old man. =/

 

[SacredWarrior]

Yeah, my husband wanted to, but I reminded him that our kids were watching, and I'm trying to break them out of the habit of smacking each other. Probably wouldn't have been helpful to have their father bitch slap the hell out of some 80 year old man. =/

LMAO kids pass licks all the time honestly :P It's just like the pyromaniac phase thing.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

LMAO kids pass licks all the time honestly :P It's just like the pyromaniac phase thing.

Well, yes.

So you shouldn't be too surprised when it happens, but that doesn't mean it's a behaviour you should encourage or model for your children either. It's like your child pooping in their diaper, you know they're going to poop in their diaper, every child poops in their diaper, but you still don't want them to poop in their diaper.

 

[SacredWarrior]

Well, yes.

So you shouldn't be too surprised when it happens, but that doesn't mean it's a behaviour you should encourage or model for your children either. It's like your child pooping in their diaper, you know they're going to poop in their diaper, every child poops in their diaper, but you still don't want them to poop in their diaper.

I never said that :O I was just saying don't be too surprised when children do certain things. I never said encourage it O_O

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I never said that :O I was just saying don't be too surprised when children do certain things. I never said encourage it O_O

I figured. Just wanted to clarify why it's not necessarily a good idea for a parent to be modelling it. :P