Resolved

[LogicfromLogic]

Resolved Issue. Thanks for the advice guys!




I just need advice, pure and simple. And there are some folks around that give some pretty sound advice, and well I thought I'd try my luck with the issue that I myself seem to be in. I am not looking for sympathy for a problem that I have, and I am not interested in hearing how therapy doesn't work because I stand by it 100%, just in this case (which is actually part of the problem I am trying to solve) it is how to get that out to the therapist that is the issue.

So, as I pack to move (because I cannot live as a hamster anymore in this tiny ass studio), I have come across a serious issue that I seem to have. I have well over 250 canned goods that I haven't touched since I got them. Most simple advice people give me to this conundrum I seem to be in is 'get rid of some of them and your problem is solved'.

Unfortunately, I seem to have run into my own...problem with this. Fear; fear of not having enough, and any attempt to get rid of even just one can has been met by a severe panic attack. I've tried in the past to force myself to give some cans away. I can't; I have tried so hard to get over this issue of mine. Therapy doesn't help because I can't seem to get myself to admit to them that I have a problem. In fact, this is the first time I have addressed that it is a problem altogether. I can't live a free life in fear, but how do I get out of this? How can I possibly get my inner person to know that everything will be alright? This insecure feeling seems to be causing great disarray within the mental and behavioural, though not emotional because frankly, I'm in a pretty good emotional state considering, state. And it all seems to be subconscious; I get on board with getting rid of food. I pack it up, go downstairs with a happy attitude but then I go back upstairs after getting that anxious feeling that I'm making this horrible, horrible mistake. Like if I do this, I'll be left without resources.

I've had food aggression issues, that much is widely known to anyone. I don't eat around people often but when I do I really stuff myself just in the case I won't see it again (this part I have been able for some reason to talk with my therapist about. He suggested that it's from my past...you know, the same old stuff you get when you've been dragged through the dirt a couple times and develop personality disorders, etc). While that is being worked on (the progress is going...slow. Very slow, but I have improved. I can now eat at the far end away from people instead of running off like a squirrel with his nut), my food hoarding is becoming an issue. I have tried to talk to a therapist about this, but I either end up chickening out or I end up forgetting and coming up with a blank, like something inside me refuses to acknowledge that there's a problem. I feel like it is a whole different side of me; a mask.

Any advice you can lend me? The solution is probably right in front of me and I just can't see it well because I'm a clueless moron sometimes. I don't know how to phrase it well enough for my therapist to understand it, and it took a lot out of me to try and post this. Took me three flippin days, posted it in my blog first, and posting it here. I mean not trying to sound like a dramatic jackass, because that's not my goal. I'm not upset about this really, just a little frustrated.

 

[Prisk]

I vowed to stay out of this section, but since you specifically stated that you're not looking for a pity fest, I will put my two cents in.

Ask your therapist what he or she knows about hoarding. Maybe he or she can suggest some reading for you. There is no reason to bluntly state the specifics of your problem if that makes you uncomfortable, unfold it in stages. To be honest, you don't even have to mention hoarding. "Fear of not having enough" should provide enough ground for discussion between you and your therapist, I'm sure he or she will eventually connect the dots in regards to your history with food. I'm no expert, but this is how I would go about it.

Alternatively, and this is purely based on my own twisted opinions...

Maybe you could embrace your hoarding. Who the hell knows what's going to happen in the future and when food is going to become a commodity? Better to be prepared than confuse that preparation for madness. In my opinion, and from what I figure, this isn't that big a problem unless you make it one and it seems that there are quite a few people in the world that have prepared for 'judgement day' with food, bomb shelters, and whatever else.

You could also try ridiculing your problem. I do this sometimes. If you haven't seen it already, watch the "Insheeption" episode of South Park. It's a parody of the film "Inception" with the premise of Stan being a hoarder. It's pretty funny. Usually, when I put my problems into a certain or different perspective, they become utmost frivolous.

 

[Jorick]

Phrasing it is not a problem at all. It's called hoarding, and it's a relatively well known issue thanks to that show Hoarders (and some knock offs) bringing it into the public awareness. If you were to tell your therapist that you have a food hoarding problem, bluntly say that you have a couple hundred cans of food that you can't bear to get rid of, I'm sure they will understand the issue. Seriously, phrasing it is dead simple: "I hoard canned food. I have over 250 cans of food, and if I try to get rid of any of it I feel crippling anxiety and fear and I can't go through with it." That will be enough to get the ball rolling and for your therapist to ask you about the details not included in this quick snippet. Hell, if saying it out loud is still too much for you, you could just print out a copy of this post you've written and hand it to your therapist to read and that would work too. You've already got all the words you need to explain the problem, and you've proved that by creating this thread.

The real problem is mustering the nerve and courage to tell your therapist about it, which is where I think you're actually stuck. I figure your agony over how exactly to phrase it is really just a procrastination tactic you're using (consciously or subconsciously) to put off bringing it up. The solution sitting right in front of you is to just take the leap and talk about it in any way you can possibly manage. I know that it can be extremely tough to talk about your problems, but that really is the only option if you want help. You've taken the first step in recognizing that you have a problem, now you have to take the next step by telling someone who can be of assistance.

Posting this thread is a good intermediate step, and I hope it helps to make you a bit more comfortable with talking about it. Remember that taking tiny steps forward is always better than standing in place or walking backwards. If you need to take more little steps to close the distance between where you are now and telling your therapist about it, do it. If you've got a friend or family member who is supportive and doesn't know about this and you feel more comfortable telling them than your therapist currently, reach out to them. I've found that talking about your problems to people you actually know face to face tends to be a better confidence booster than talking to internet people, but maybe that's just me.

I hope that helps, and I wish you luck in getting through this tough spot and moving past it.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

Phrasing it is not a problem at all. It's called hoarding, and it's a relatively well known issue thanks to that show Hoarders (and some knock offs) bringing it into the public awareness. If you were to tell your therapist that you have a food hoarding problem, bluntly say that you have a couple hundred cans of food that you can't bear to get rid of, I'm sure they will understand the issue. Seriously, phrasing it is dead simple: "I hoard canned food. I have over 250 cans of food, and if I try to get rid of any of it I feel crippling anxiety and fear and I can't go through with it." That will be enough to get the ball rolling and for your therapist to ask you about the details not included in this quick snippet. Hell, if saying it out loud is still too much for you, you could just print out a copy of this post you've written and hand it to your therapist to read and that would work too. You've already got all the words you need to explain the problem, and you've proved that by creating this thread.

The real problem is mustering the nerve and courage to tell your therapist about it, which is where I think you're actually stuck. I figure your agony over how exactly to phrase it is really just a procrastination tactic you're using (consciously or subconsciously) to put off bringing it up. The solution sitting right in front of you is to just take the leap and talk about it in any way you can possibly manage. I know that it can be extremely tough to talk about your problems, but that really is the only option if you want help. You've taken the first step in recognizing that you have a problem, now you have to take the next step by telling someone who can be of assistance.

Posting this thread is a good intermediate step, and I hope it helps to make you a bit more comfortable with talking about it. Remember that taking tiny steps forward is always better than standing in place or walking backwards. If you need to take more little steps to close the distance between where you are now and telling your therapist about it, do it. If you've got a friend or family member who is supportive and doesn't know about this and you feel more comfortable telling them than your therapist currently, reach out to them. I've found that talking about your problems to people you actually know face to face tends to be a better confidence booster than talking to internet people, but maybe that's just me.

I hope that helps, and I wish you luck in getting through this tough spot and moving past it.

You know, you're right. Since I tend to avoid things I bet I knew this but refused (within my mind, you'd be vastly surprised of what lays dormant within the holds of the stubborn human brain) to see it, and used this as a procrastination. While I have tried to write it out before (always seem to have an issue with writing it), I hadn't actually thought of just printing this off. Call it a derp moment if you will.

I find more help with net friends as the friends that I have outside of this tend to be a little...less than helpful (I love them dearly but I'm usually the one they turn to when they have a problem that needs serious solving, or not even serious just petty).

Thanks guys, while the answer (as stated) was in front of me, guess my clouded judgement got the best of me. Thank you for your advice.

 

[Fijoli]

One step, One day at a time Logic :) You got this <3

When I see, what seems like a mountain, I start chipping away at the top and sometimes mining stones works for us, but some of us, at least I know for me, I need the shock of change to really reverse traumatic damage done in my past.

Start using Dynamite and keep telling yourself that the earth is abundant with those resources you need and the ways of acquiring them varies in so many ways. My grandfather says a lot, and its funny that hoarding and food is mentioned cause he says, "The only thing we should hoard is our Money, you will never go hungry if you do."

While I think hoarding anything at all can have its negative connotations, those who have saved there money and refuse to use it unless emergencies happen create that "Security net" and with how money is becoming more virtual by the day its the kind of hoarding that doesn't clutter your physical space. The Tangible has a way of giving us security but this is not real. Value in what we work for is what is real. Imagine if you, instead of buying those cans, and just put what they cost in a jar in the closet somewhere and never touched it, only added to it.

As for talking to the therapist, wording and communication can throw us all off a bit. I believe that in the moment the right words will come to you. I would certain talk about "change" and "over coming fears" and just discuss those things. You can even talk about all the different ways you can acquire food or set up a savings account.If you already have a saving that's awesome and your already one step ahead of others.

~hugs you gently~
Fijo
<3