There is a place I used to go, when I was young,
Before I'd fall apart.
A Place where I would stick pins and needles
Into my bleeding heart.
In that place my heart could bleed,
No one else would see my plunder.
Away where I could be alone,
To tear my aching heart Asunder.
"You bleed all day, you bleed through night,
You bleed for no good reason," I'd cry.
"So I will stick through you a thousand needles
Until you tell me why!"
"One day, one needle more, but why?"I said
With the pain of a thousand souls.
That's when My heart that bled replied,
"Because you poked me full of holes"
"I bleed all day, I bleed through night, from
The pricking of your pins,"it hearkened.
And now there is no need of needles, no pin could
pierce into my heart that hardened.
Now no more harm is done to me that from myself
Has not departed.
you know that it's true, because everything I do,
I always do Hole-Hearted.
Where tears have never fell from eyes,
all that shines there and glows are lies.
Good has hidden beneath the mire,
benevolence masked behind a liar.
Fill me whole and leave me dust,
forceful objects will someday rust,
same old story set in stone,
But I was there, flesh and bone.
Forever eternal sorrow fades,
reaching out for summers shades.
Eluding the light of love we feel,
what within, is kept, can never heal.
Remember, Remember all of us,
do not ever forget how to trust.
Painful anguish lie in ignorant clutches,
only love heals all it touches.
Come alive unto this world,
let living become unfurled.
reinforced, well-founded, vigorous strength,
achieved only when withstanding agonies length.
Stand with these shadows and crepuscular gloom
and in you a radiant, luminous, brilliance will bloom.
Doleful and dreary and unpromising, it seems,
yet that is what gives birth to resplendent dreams
My best friend and I were in the woods behind the quarry in the summer swelter. We swam the quarry, picked berries, never would have gone back there if I knew then what I know now. Isn't that always the case...
The end of that summer I said goodbye to that friend forever, the funeral went cursorily as I was in a stupor up in the early days of autumn.
"You ok?," I was pulled from my few months waking coma by this question from the mouth of a concerned friend. Even though the bus kids were shouting the question rung louder than the rumble of voices.
Natalie looked at me from across the row, alone in her window seat through highly magnified glasses.
"I'm ok," I nodded in case I wasn't heard, Natalie looked at me for a few more moments before looking back out of the rain cover bus window. I did the same and saw a sickly crow picking at some garbage.
Gym class came and the whispering from behind my back had become unbearable. Natalie sat next to me on the bleachers, this time she just looked at me saying nothing at all. "That obvious, huh," I said, looking back at the whisperers scramble to seem unsecretive.
"So what happened to Sarah?," Natalie asked. I froze and watched her eyes search mine. It was time to fess up.
"Promise you won't say anything to anyone? You have to promise me, Natalie," I begged.
She nodded and I hung my head as I began to tell Natalie the story. I told her about the swim, the berries, and our walk. By the end of my story Natalie just sat there with the same expression on her face.
"I wish I could just ask her forgiveness,"I whispered, just as the bell rang. Natalie stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder and said,"Sarah was cool, I would forgive you." Natalie didn't know Sarah like I had. Sarah was cool, but she had a spiteful streak in her that I often worked at to not instigate.
On the way home I noticed a cawing behind me. Deciding to walk home which I soon felt was a mistake. The cawing was from a crow, the same sickly one I had seen this morning. It cawed at me repeatedly as it began to lead me down a path and into the woods. Soon, to my horror, I realized where I was. There were still blood stains on the rocks, dirt kicked away from the area and my eye fixed to the spot where it happen.
The memory was so very fresh in my mind that I could hear the screaming, pleading for me. Suddenly the crow cawed at me startling me. I shouldn't be here. I started to leave when I heard a voice from behind me, the ravine began to pour.
"Leaving already?" It said.
I turned slowly to see Sarah standing there in the spot were the bear had clawed her. Staring through me as she had this most angry look on her face. I imagined I was crazy. "Sarah, I..."
"Don't you dare" she snapped, trees swayed in the stormy wind.
I began to cry.
"You pushed me..."
"..Sarah"
"You pushed me at that bear why did you do it?"
"Sarah I was scared!"
"You killed me"
I took off running, my mind had to be playing tricks on me. I looked back to see her running after me. My heart started to rush my blood, this painful pulsing heart beat raised from my chest to my head and panic took over me. Frantically, I fled from Sarahs ghost but there she was in front of me, appearing at my side or up In a tee as I tried to get away.
I saw a clearing in the trees and I made a break for it,"I'm sorry Sarah, PLEASE IM SORRY!" In my panic I broke through the clearing only to drop straight off the face of the cliffside.
Smacking into a boulder once....twice....until I landed at the bottom. My arm was twisted back and limp, both my legs were mangled and I couldn't breath. Choking on every breath as Sarah walked up to me and knelt down to whisper in my ear.